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May 27 2006

Germans.

Grup Tekkan

4,426,937—no, 4,426,938—people have watched this, spawning, of course, this.

[via David's World, Yeahpope ]

29 comments

  1. MzNicky

    Okay, help an old blamer out here. No clue what this is and from the looks of it I don’t really want to. Cut to the chase for me, Twisty: German faux-rappers? Then a faux-German rapper parody? I’m old.

  2. jc.

    You of course realise that the first group is most likely of turkish imigrant origin and as such wouldn´t really be considered “german” or even european in and by most of europe.
    If you want a truly painful total european musical experience try the annual European Melody Festival cometition (launched ABBAs career). It´s extremely popular among “normal” people, teenyboppers and gays.
    Myself I´ve never been able to deal with it even when totally tranked.
    It´s not funny, well Finlands winning group this year did cause me to chuckle sort of.

  3. MzNicky

    “know.” “From the looks of it, don’t really want to know.”

    I blame the chemo-pause.

  4. jc.

    Hints as to origin are found in the first groups ghetto flash clothes and mobile and the singing style among other things. Even heavier hints are given in the satirical groups headwear ie.; Fez, turned around baseball cap, maybe turban and traditional turkish womans hair piece. Now that´s german humor at it´s best.
    Of course in the second groups defense I guess the first groups video, especially if popular, could cause almost anyone to be xenophobic.

  5. Sylvanite

    What do you expect from people who’ve supported, indeed, manufactured, David Hasselhoff’s singing career?

  6. CafeSiren

    Sylvantie has a good point re: Hasselhof.

    I’d like to go on record as having been appalled by German rap music since 2000, when I heard one uninspired and uninspiring stylist rhyme “super” with “super-duper.” Unfortunately, I can actually understand the lyrics to this latest German entry into the world of prefab pop music, and let me assure you, it’s bland and trite down to the last glottal syllable.

    But Twisty: how do we blame the Patriarchy for this? And what, in particular, should we be blaming them for? Pre-digested faux rap music? Boy bands? Insipid “baby you’re so beautiful” song lyrics? German music since the 19th century in general?

  7. CafeSiren

    Sorry, that date above should have been “since 1990.” Really: I’ve been hatin’ that long.

  8. Twisty

    CafeSiren, sometimes a thing is just spontaneously odd, no blaming required. Although racist undertones begin to emerge re: the legitimacy of the Germanity of the three boys (their parents are apparently Turks) and the “xenophobia,” as jc calls it, of the 4 satirists. You can certainly blame the patriarchy for that.

  9. Blume

    jc— I’m not sure what you’re getting at about the first group’s origin in their “ghetto flash clothes and mobile”— this is how a lot of young people around here dress when they’re trying to look nice. Whether they’re of turkish origin or otherwise. (I live in the Berlin, in the neighborhood with the highest percentage of residents of turkish origin.) Maybe they dress that way under the wider influence of “ghetto” pop culture, but it’s common enough that it’s not a reference to that in the video. It’s just how they dress.

    As for the parody group, it’s hard to tell with the poor resolution, but I don’t see a fez, a turban, or a head scarf. The two on the ends seem to be wearing a stocking cap and a hoodie, which I guess could be part of the parody, but also happens to pick out about 40% of germans under the age of 35. (Okay, I made up that percentage. But lots of people wear stocking caps or hoodies, way more than in the u.s.).

    Other than the spelling of the name of the song, they’re not parodying the kids’ accents. It’s more a parody of the utter inanity of the lyrics and lack of musical talent. Now don’t get me wrong, they don’t get off the hook – their band name, the spelling of ‘Sonnenlicht’ the way the kids sing it, and the fact that they’re parodying these kids rather than the zillion other inane german-language songs of this genre are not to be excused. But if you want to rail against german xenophobia, I don’t think this is the most useful place to start.

  10. Blume

    Sorry, I can’t resist weighing in more here.

    Re: Hasselhof – I swear, I don’t know a single german who listens to him. Maybe they’re all in Bavaria?

    And as for german rap music, yes, some of it is appallingly bad. (As is some rap music in english, I might add.) But there is also good german rap.

  11. CafeSiren

    Sorry Blume, I was generalizing. And to be fair, I have to admit that the year I spent in Germany was, in fact, in Bavaria, which has its own special weirdness. And the college-educated Bavarians I knew were themselves puzzled by the Hasselhof phenomenon.

  12. Kwillz

    How come the first video has millions of hits, but no one commented?

  13. Blume

    Anyway, why would the Germans need Hasselhof when they have their very own, homegrown, infinitely weirder versions?

    http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/5991/

    Now Heino— that’s a mystery. And while I would also like to think he is a phenomenon confined to Bavaria, I’ve had the experience of discovering that German friends of mine own Heino albums. I don’t think in an ironic way.

  14. darkymac

    good German rap?
    It all is when you mute the soundtrack.

    For those with humour/irony bypasses, the Australian whitey group 2up spell it out:

    http://www.2-up.com/lyrics.htm

    Why Do I Try So Hard?

    could someone tell me what’s up with these try hard homies
    the caps back to front but I think they’re phonies
    they’re hanging with the crew decked out in Fubu
    the latest Nike sneaker is their choice of shoe
    the triple extra large pants so big their saggin’
    with the pimp limp their leg they be draggin’
    in the hood you know you’re not a real G
    unless you spell fat P-H-A-T
    the local shopping centre is the place you hang
    chillin’ with your bitch and the rest of the gang
    comparing knives, shootin’ dice and working on your plan
    to become an Aussie version of the Wu-Tang Clan
    alright that’s enough you’ve gotta stop it please
    cause this ain’t New York city or Los Angeles
    cause there’s no LBC in the LDB
    no Snoop Doggy Dogg or Warren G

    you have got to be kiddin’ or jokin’ or just smokin’
    your tracksuits bright green you’re looking like a fashion fiend
    to some but others seem to like it a tonne
    oh shit they’ve got the same one on
    hang on, hang on I think I know what’s going on
    you feel more hardcore when you dress as one
    the Aussie coloured gangs at the shops you hang
    coming back everyday like a boomerang
    you’re doing criminal things as your Nokia rings
    mummy’s calling you home you’ve got a family thing
    what a cutsie wutsie little gangsta G
    harrass me then you’re running home for tea
    you’re just rich boys wishing you were black or poor
    spending days smoking crack or patronising whores
    but you don’t you won’t and you’re starting to smirk
    cause when you turn 17 your Dad will buy you a Merc
    man i’ve been to LA i’ve seen where gangstas chill
    believe me boy it ain’t nothing like the Hills
    so check yourself before you wreck yourself
    get the fashion eraser out correct yourself
    but if you’re down with dressing like a clown that’s sick
    just stop giving me shit when i’m trying to catch a flick

    the gangs are gathered round the front of Grace Brothers
    some too young to drive so they’re waiting on their Mothers
    to come and pick them up and take them home
    that’s why they’ve got that flashy new mobile phone
    then you’ve got the ones who are on their Ps
    with a licence in hand and a set of keys
    doing laps of the local neighbourhood
    thinking they’re looking so damn good
    the car is lowered the windows tinted
    but what a f%$#en shame that the spoiler’s dinted
    I guess it doesn’t matter when you’ve got a sick system
    that goes so loud the whole world can listen
    to your doof doof crap and your gangsta rap
    no room for more than two with the woofers in the back
    the boys in the hood never looked this good
    if you could change your skin colour well I bet ya would
    but that ain’t gonna happen so I guess your just a wigga
    at least you’re looking cool in your Tommy Hilfiger

    Now this is not about race, religon or colour or creed
    cause there’s dicks in every part of the world you see
    it’s about teeny boppers hanging out at the shops
    wasting all of my time is my path they cross
    with your fist firmly clenched and your arms extended
    you stared at me and now you’re offended?
    if I was tough enough i’d knock your arse to the floor
    but i’m not so I laugh and make a run for the door
    you really think that you’re looking like a Gangsta rapper
    like Ice Cube’s hanging out in Parramatta
    your ghetto is a foodcourt so what’s the deal?
    some call it Harlem others call it Westfield
    so f%$# you if you wear Adidas
    and just kidding if you ever get to meet us
    and if you fall for that then you’re as dumb as you look
    cause when it comes to looking stupid boy you wrote the book

    It makes me cringe to see the gangsta thing, but I see it as, at it’s base, simply more ways for patriarchally influenced boys to try to display their patriarchally approved testosterone credentials.
    Fifty years ago these boys would’ve been clicking their fingers in a be-bop kellar, and no more convincingly.

  15. jc.

    Blume, I accept that my interpetation of the clothing is open to question. The kids clothes to me are not a reflection of hip-hop but my general impression of immigrant (ghetto) and and turkish (in Istanbul, sort of)) working class flash, I freely admit that it´s a decade since I last was in Germany, two since I last lived and worked there and 6 years since I was last in Istanbul, but I recognise the style, I think, it´s been roughly the same since the sixties.
    As to the other group I may be way overinterpeting their clothes. The whole visual impression they gave me of satirising a turkish and ghetto look may be an incorrect reading. BUT I still think the guy in the red pants and vest and “fez” looks suspiciously like he´s trying for a cheapy masquerade Turkish look. The girl on the end does have a hoody but it still looks like she´s wearing a head covering of traditional turkish kind underneath and her clothes give me strong impression of traditional turkish (kurdish?) womens cothes. This of course may not have been the groups intention at all and they are just attempting to satirise hip-hop/youth styles (I hope that women in the middle doesn´t normally wear her cap like that) style in general. Kind of like the time I wore my work overalls backwards as an imitation of Kriss Kross (sp.)and embarassed my daughter.
    I thought it was funny but it probably wasn´t.
    The 2nd group may in intention be mostly benign although the whole turkish/european thing is coreect,I believe.
    My particular overinterpetation, perhaps, of the clothing
    symbolism is perhaps the result of trying to be serious whilst laughing my head off.
    But surely “Tanzband” music and esthetics are just as popular outside of as inside of Bavaria?

  16. Jezebella

    Oh, yeah, that’s a fez alright, with something Arabic looking on the front.

    Also, though I am no defender of Hasselhoff, I wouldn’t hassle the hoff in public unless you are ready for the Manolo to come in, kicking ass in some finely tailored kicks.

    Which leads me to wonder: what kind of shoes would the Manolo recommend for the kicking of the ass?

  17. ozma

    It’s weird how easy it is to tell that kids are not American from a picture. Especially adolescents. Why is everyone else in the world so skinny?

  18. Morgan

    I’m commenting from Germany, just to make that clear when I start talking about “here” — even though I generally reject categories like that as tools of the Patriarchy.

    Yes, Germans have awful taste in hip hop, both home-grown and imported. That being said, I can’t believe this is going to be the next big thing, or even a small thing. It sounds like it was produced by a total amateur, the vocals are too loud, and the beat was clearly composed on a 10-year-old keyboard.

    As to the clothing, they’re actually dressed fairly conservatively for German youths. There’s nothing sparkly visible, no white pants, and the hair gel is actually restrained. We’re also missing a mullet a la David Beckham five years ago. They’d fit in in any street scene anywhere here, including the Green-dominated alternative/University town in the South in which I live. Yes, Germans wear white jackets year-round and at night; please, somebody send in Memorial Day and Labor Day to give them boundaries and limits.

    Even the lyrics (bad as they may be) are less blamable than most of the German and American hip hop I know. I translate what appears to be the refrain, even though it forces me to listen to the song a second time:

    Where are you, my sunlight?
    I am looking for you, I miss you.
    I respect only you,
    so that you know, I love only you.
    *repeat*

    It’s cheesy beyond all belief, but when was the last time you heard a hip hop song talking about respecting ONE woman? I blame the patriarchy for their objectification of women but I have to say that their lyrics, though vomit-inducingly bad, include no pimps, “hos,” gangstas, drugs, sex or violence. I think the best comparison for Americans may be Christian rock or hip hop compared to the real thing; this song is okay for your kids but they’ll probably laugh at it.

    Hasselhoff is an American and was made famous (in Germany) as a result of American TV; don’t blame Germany, blame the Patriarchy.

    The second video is, for a German, clearly a parody. The posters write: ” Das Lachen sollte im Vordergrund stehen ;-)” (Laughter should be in the foreground” literally). The clothes look pretty normal for German adults with the exception of the one dude in the fez-thingy. I wouldn’t be surprised to meet the other ones on the road. I’m only offended by the accent, which strikes me as a bad stereotype of what “turks” (a group that includes Greeks and Turks, in a strike for peace in Cyprus!) sound like.

    Realizing that I have ended far too many sentences with prepositions, I am going to get lunch. Unfortunately, Germany has no tacos.

  19. Twisty

    You know, I only posted this because it was funny. It just shows to go you that nothing can withstand patriarchy-blaming analysis. Blaming. It’s bigger than all of us!

  20. Sylvanite

    Heh. Well, my info. regarding Hasselhoff’s singing career is old (really old, like at least 15 years old). Perhaps it was in Austria that he was so popular as a singer. I’ll bet IMDB has the info. If I care to look it up.

    Confession – I watched “Knight Rider” every week when I was a kid.

  21. Blume

    Morgan, come visit Berlin, we just got a real burrito joint! Still working on tacos, though.

  22. Sylvanite

    According to that oracle of all things actorly, the Internet Movie Database, Herr Hasselhoff’s big singing career in Germany occurred in 1989. Soooo, it was a while ago. Forever, in pop-music terms. Germany seems to have wised up since. IMDB is not clear on whether his popularity that year was primarily fueled by Bavaria, nor about whether we can cast blame towards Austria for his European singing career. Though, frankly, I can certainly think of a certain governator that Austria can be blamed for.

  23. lcgillies

    And it made me laugh! Thanks!

  24. Patrick

    Feminism is anti-male female supremacy. They do not favor equality. If they did, women would be eligible for selective service, and they would have already been on the front lines in a war. They would have been in dangerous jobs,just like men.Most of the violence in the world has been against men, not against women and children. However, women abuse children at higher rates than men, so explain that. But go ahead, continue your stereotype of the testerone-tinged “unfairly favored” men. I don’t make much money, and don’t know many men that do. So there. There is no governor’s commission on men. Here are some quick stats: men on average,die seven years earlier than women. Men make up 49% of the population, maybe it is less now. Most of the world’s violence has been against men, not women. Men make up 85% of the homeless, they are a minority of college enrollment, at least 40% in some places. Also, men were sent to war to die, the only ones eligible for selective service,they are the overwhelming majority of workplace deaths. In society, Men are held responsible for their actions, women are not. men have responsiblities, women only have rights.Men,in their roles as policemen, and firemen have stupidly died to protect many women, and children, who generally, would never protect men that same way if the roles were reversed. men invented technology, homes, planes, cars, societies, otherwise we would all still be living in caves. So I would say to anyone who thinks men as a group are holding them down: if I am building someone a luxury house,and cell phones,I am not oppressing them!By the way, you didn’t earn your economic privilege and supremacy by “fighting hard” for them. Men gave these to you freely. If they did not, you would not have them. Without men existing, you would be living in a cave in the middle of nowhere, so if you don’t like White men’s accomplishments, go enjoy your CAVE! If you don’t like the historically cruel treatment of black Americans I’d be honest and go live in another country instead of being a total hypocrite, and living off men’s hard work and the work of the African slaves, and not giving anything back of equal value, like inventing something. If you don’t like the taking of Native Americans’ land, then leave the U.S. and stop living off their demise.Also,It is not honorable to work at a cushy job that men created for you, and then say that men denied women basic rights! You are pampered if you work at a basic job, while men worked in the coal mines, and died in workplace injuries. Also, Patriarchy is not evil, it is only men running these countries that has invented the things that make your life better. Men as a group were not selfish, women are. You don’t use someone’s inventions: houses, telephones, businesses,etc, and call the other pertson selfish, without giving anything back. If anything, these men were stupid for being kind, and favoring you over them. I’d rather be washing dishes, and even vacuuming, which roles women complain about, rather than dying in dumb wars! There is no comparison!… Talk about ungrateful, and pampered. If a magic wand could turn women into men, I could only imagine what they could still complain about, if they were only being consistent: You mean all the blame is now mine! I must sacrifice myself for others from now on, I am not to be protected , but to protect others! I’m being asked to fight and die for my country! Terrible! And men must listen to them complain about being “objectified” Yikes! We should all be so lucky. What a joke intellectually this country has become.Also, when Feminists say that if SOME men were not evil, there would be no need for feminism is a little like the Klan saying that if some non-whites did not go on welfare, drugs and shoot people, there would no need for racism. So Feminists, enjoy your racist and sexist exploitation of men. We men are the ones sacrificing. We are the real “second sex”, not women. Bye-Bye. Feel free to post a reply.

  25. Chris Clarke

    Men,in their roles as policemen, and firemen have stupidly died to protect many women, and children, who generally, would never protect men that same way if the roles were reversed.

    This is just plain wrong. My nephew Liam has rescued me from horrible scary burning buildings about fifty times, and he’s only four years old.

    I’d rather be washing dishes, and even vacuuming, which roles women complain about, rather than dying in dumb wars!

    Oh, man. You know what’s even worse? Being sent over there to vacuum the war zone. That just really sucks.

    Also: alla youse wimmen get the luxury of paragraph breaks and post-commal spaces, while poor victimized men like Patrick have to have their words all come out in one long strand. In between fighting wars in the homeless coal mines while he builds luxury homes and cell phones, I mean.

  26. Sarah Z

    men invented technology, homes, planes, cars, societies, otherwise we would all still be living in caves.

    Would Chris or some other nice man invent me a society? You’re all obviously very busy, but I’m just so tired of the one I’m in now.

  27. Fiona

    Oh dear, it appears that the white man’s burden didn’t die out with the British Empire. Now it’s those uppity women who need to be civilised!

  28. Morgan

    Blume, I might take you up on that (after the WM, of course). We here in Freiburg have a “Mexican” restaurant which specializes in tequila shots for 17 year olds. Gotta see that new train station anyhow.

  29. Sylvanite

    If you don’t want to die young, Patrick, GO TO A FRICKIN’ DOCTOR FOR CHECKUPS! Even Spike TV (The Network For Men!) has that much of a clue. They run “Get your male ass to a doctor” PSAs all the time. Why? Because men don’t go to the doctor on a regular basis, even when they have health insurance. Thus, they die prematurely of manageable conditions, like heart disease. Sheesh!

    Go troll elsewhere Patrick.

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