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Jun 01 2006

80s Dudespotting

80sguy_soco1.jpg

A irrepressible dude from the 80s was spotted on South Congress this week wearing two layers of shorts (see close-up, below). He’d time-warped in, he said, to party with Sammy Hagar and take advantage of 21st century breakthroughs in hair products. Sadly, his muscle-car-shaped time machine broke down in front of Home Slice Queen of Pies.

80sdude_car.jpg

Not pictured: irrepressible 80′s dude whistling at three high school girls who sashayed past in butt-crackie pants.

63 comments

5 pings

  1. witchtrivets

    Hey, I think that is the same guy who lived in the below-grade basement of the roach-infested shack I lived in in college. Did you happen to notice if he had a klansman tattoo’d on his chest? If so, it is the same guy. Wondered what happened to him. (Not that all 80′s dudes have klansman tattoos — but I know of at least one.)

  2. Lindsay Beyerstein

    Great shots, Twisty.

  3. Sylvanite

    Dude! Totally awesome! Like, you know?

  4. norbizness

    Hey, that might be Leslie in repose (the casual leggings may be a give-away). Also, I think the Continental Club has a strange effect on the curvature of space-time. Every once in a while, it will produce a bunch of goddamned yuppie motorcycle pricks from the year 2002.

  5. hedonistic

    Isn’t that Jon Bonjovi? Didja get his autograph?

  6. Ms Kate

    Mullets in the mist.

  7. jezebella

    That dude rawks, y’all.

  8. Sara

    Wow. I’ll bet those girls were just soooo flattered.

  9. Allison

    If it weren’t for the 2000-or-later Ranger parked next to his musclemobile, I’d swear you were kidding about taking the photo this week. I’d love to think his outfit was for a costume party, but somehow, I doubt it. Eeeek!

  10. Hattie

    I love those pukka pants.

  11. Evelyn

    I was in Austin for the first time a few weeks ago. I was minding my own business on South Congress when a man in a thong walked by. Is he a regular? I threw up in my mouth a little. What kind of people you got down there?

  12. Morgan

    Quick, Steve Hagar! Add water to the flux capacitor!

  13. Twisty

    “I was in Austin for the first time a few weeks ago. I was minding my own business on South Congress when a man in a thong walked by. Is he a regular? I threw up in my mouth a little. What kind of people you got down there?”

    That was Leslie. He probably threw up when he saw you, too.

  14. Morgan

    And by Steve, I mean Sammy. Being in Germany has erased hair metal from my mind, but its place has been filled by Brian Adams. I never thought I’d be looking forward to Def Leppard before.

  15. norbizness

    It’s true, Evelyn. Austin is the only town on the planet, apart from Christchurch, New Zealand, that has homeless transvestites. Who are perpetually drunk on warm Thunderbird. Who ran for mayor. Maybe I should stop defending Austin at this point.

  16. punkass marc

    I don’t care what y’all say. My ass looks good in them shorts.

  17. Auguste

    Maybe if he had been driving this car, he’d have been better off.

    (Picture is huge so that you can read the door)

    (Taken just yesterday)

  18. Auguste

    I take that back:

    THIS is the huge version.

  19. Evelyn

    Oh sorry, I didn’t mean to offend!
    I just didn’t need to see anyone’s ass while I was eating.

  20. aldahlia

    Do you suppose that guy is rad or totally tubular?

  21. Ron O

    What sweet ride!

  22. Keeshond

    I’m in love.

    Seriously, the 80s were a great decade for me too and everything, but I’ve turned in my shoulder pads, mall bangs and Patrick Nagel artwork and moved forward.

  23. Hattie

    Auguste. Aww that picture made me so nostalgic for dear old Beaverton.

  24. Ms Kate

    Maybe if he had been driving this car, he’d have been better off.

    The building in the background at least used to be a Giant Catholic High School. Cruising for school girls further adds to the IROC mystique.

  25. aldahlia

    No, wait, I’ve got it.

    He’s bitchin.

  26. kcb

    His hair makes me oddly nostalgic for hair mousse, but the double pants make me kind of sick to my stomach. He looks like the kind of guy who used to hang out in the smoking area at my high school back when that sort of thing was OK. You know, as long as you didn’t accidentally ignite all the mousse in your hair.

  27. aldahlia

    kcb, that just makes me really glad I went to high school during the grunge era. I’m not sure we believed in mousse.

  28. Ms Kate

    BTW Auguste, I think I actually know who owns that car.

  29. witchy-woo

    Oh, my.
    Is this Dudespotting running in tandem with the ‘Cans of Austin’ series or is it replacing Texan toilets altogether?

    I don’t mind either way (how could I?) but, well, oh, my.

  30. thebewilderness

    Feminism appears to be the cause of global warming. Funny
    http://cosmicvariance.com/2006/06/01/feminism-destroying-the-planet/

  31. Kwillz

    I’m with you on pointing out his objectifying of underaged (not that of age would any more acceptable) women; but as a guy who goes around with a 70′s afro, I think you’re underestimating the value of living outside your decade. Fashion-wise, that is.

    *hops in the Tardis and travels to a Temptations concert*

  32. hedonistic

    I was in dance class tonight and looked in the mirror at what the humidity did to my hair and thought, OH MY GOD I look like that chick in the Whitesnake video! 1980′s Hair Band Hair! TIME WARP!

    And here I was laughing at ’80s Dude just today. Shame on me.

  33. darkymac

    Howdy Hattie,
    I love those pukka pants.

    Inventive way to conceal thigh tatts on a hot day, most likely.
    Amongst my relatives, there are a few bits of skinscription that tend to anger members of the law-enforcement service.
    And so the brothers wear shirts and long duds when they think they may encounter literate police force.

  34. RJ

    But here’s the question: is he, or is he not, under the age of 35? If he’s under 35, then he’s officially doing 80s-retro (retro being in and of itself ironic, and therefore absolving him of much, if not all, guilt). On the other hand, if he’s above 30, then he just never grew up, which is sad.

  35. Auguste

    BTW Auguste, I think I actually know who owns that car.

    Ms Kate, I have a question for you.

  36. Vibrating Liz

    Austin is the only town on the planet, apart from Christchurch, New Zealand, that has homeless transvestites.

    What, has the Hate Man left Berkeley?

    I am a big fan of living outside the current suckyass fashion decade myself, but prefer going forward in time rather than back. I particularly recoil from revisiting the hot weather attire of the less fortunate decades when it comes to couture. (One of my kids said that when they had 80s day at his new job, he called in sick rather than dress the part, the wimp. I thought he would have looked great in a Nancy Reagan red dress wirh leg warmers.)

  37. hedonistic

    Vibrating Liz: Suckass fashion decade????? Let me turn you on to what’s new and FABULOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They’re coming out with new breathable knit fabrics that are soft as jammies and totally washable. Since last year I’ve been eliminating buttons and zippers and anything requiring maintenance (drycleaning, ironing) from my wardrobe and it’s been soooooooo easy. And I’m The Fashion Queen! (can you tell?) I feel as though I’m wearing pajamas to work now, but no one can even tell, heh . . .

    I also love this fashion decade because EVERYTHING IS DERIVATIVE. I can shop at my local Goodwill and look to-the-minute fashionable for the price of a $3.99 whatever that wasn’t made by exploited children overseas. Priceless.

    Also, the ’80s kind of sucked (I’m having high school flashbacks right now), but at least the tunic is back in style. No more belly shirts and exposed thongs, whee!

  38. Lisa

    80′s Dudespotting is Totally, like my new favorite sport.

  39. saltyC

    I’m asking this sincerely, not to doubt but because it would be very useful: how can you tell if it wasn’t made with exploited labor?

    Dude situation: my baby daddy, who looks a lot like dude in foto, is visiting for baby’s first birthday. He is definitely killing my buzz. I can’t believe the behavior I used to put up with. He acts like I’m getting my way. It’s not getting my way. It’s being normal. It’s people being considerate of each other and not playing boy mind games. Baiting me like: “What’s wrong?” “Wow you’re in a bad mood” “Ouch! please don’t yell at me”

    No, it’s just not giving you what you want when you want it and acting grateful that you allowed me to serve you!!!

  40. jezebella

    Homeless transvestites: even Mississippi has them. No lie.

    There’s a dude in Hattiesburg who goes by the name of Hootenanny or Punanny, depending on who you ask, who spends his days in bus benches wearing evening gowns and big blonde wigs. Sometimes he has a beard, sometimes not. He also jumps in front of and leads the MLK parade every year, which I guess is his preferred form of community service.

  41. grr kitty

    Vibrating Liz: I’m no fan of the current fashion decade either. While helping one of our summer interns get connected yesterday, I noticed her attire — a foofy skirt, high heeled sandals, a cardigan casually looped around her shoulders, and shit-oh-dear, pearls. I thought to myself, oh crap, it’s Donna Reed. Retro is fun, but the current styles are too much in lockstep with politics for my comfort. Bring back the gender-confused 70s, i say.

  42. trixie

    Even the flyspeck if-you-blink-you-miss-it Texas town where I had the misfortune of going to high school had a homeless transvestite. Or maybe he wasn’t exactly homeless, it’s hard to recall. I do remember that he belonged to one of the poorest families in town, had no car, and roamed the streets freely in various frocks he’d apparently obtained from dumpster-diving excursions. He was a redneck, to boot. Contrary to what you think, people just kind of shrugged and said, “There goes Victor.”

  43. hedonistic

    SaltyC, it’s not foolproof, but I still find clothes at the Goodwill that were made in the USA. I’ve also found a vintage Armani jacket, a Chanel suit, and several Dior pieces. Once upon a long time ago high-end clothing was made in Europe. I don’t think this is true anymore, though.

    At the very least, wherever it was made, if you buy your clothes at Goodwill you’re recycling!

  44. Ms Kate

    Trixie, I think small towns can be far more accepting of such things. There are a couple of factors that make it so. First of all, this person has to be a local or at least must have grown up in said place. Second, they must be somewhat tragically mentally ill. Everybody knows them and everybody knows their story/plight and therefore they become harmless local color ala village idiot.

  45. Stuckupgirl

    I totally saw 80s dude a few weeks ago cruising down Riverside Drive in that very vehicle. As he passed me I looked over (impossible not to!), and he was busy poofing out his hair in the rearview mirror. And then when he pulled ahead I got a good look at his personalized license plate, which said: “NO KIDS.” It was the highlight of my day.

    Oh – and he’s definitely over 35.

  46. PhoenixRising

    Norbizness, you are SO off with your ‘only in Austin’.

    Here in Albuquerque, we have the street-living *nudist* tranny guy who ran for mayor. (may not be technically homeless, but he does bathe in the ladies’ room of the downtown public library, so close enough.) Drunk on cheap wine from 7-11? Check.

    We let him in the pride parade as his own float. Seriously. Y’all can come on next Saturday morning and watch. Bring an umbrella for shade and meet me in front of the 7-11.

  47. hedonistic

    http://www.americanapparelstore.com/sustainable-edition-all-styles.html

    For SaltyC and those who care, since this was discussed upthread . . . if you care about sustainable/organic/homegrown/made-in-USA/non-exploiting clothing, check out this site! Someone on Feministing reccommended it.

  48. Hattie

    The story about the nude man makes me sad. I wonder why Berkeley couldn’t handle him.

  49. KMTBERRY

    Maybe we should all MAKE our own CLOTHES? It IS totally extreme, and our clothes would probably suck–but we WOULD know no one was exploited. There is a site called RAWGANIQUE on the internet, from europe where you can get Rather EXPENSIVE hemo and linen and cotton clothing that is made by our (relatively) wealthy European brothers. The clothing is very nice. I am not kidding about the making our own clothing thing. I can see that being a cultural marker of SOME meaning—similiar to being a vegetarian.

  50. Chris Clarke

    Hattie, Berkeley isn’t what it used to be.

    In fact, it never was what it used to be.

  51. Twisty

    That American Apparel dude is anti-sweatshop, which is nice, but he’s definitely one pornsick muthafucka, which is not. There are or were lawsuits brought against him for his sublimely lechery-friendly work environment, and he only hires hot babes. He regularly whips it out and wags it at female employees, too.

  52. hedonistic

    Dammit!

  53. bean

    Wow this guy is one……interesting…..guy. He reminds me of a guy I saw working on a neighbor’s house. He looked almost exactly like the main character in “anchor man”, but dressed like this guy. I have no idea if he is porn sick or not as I never spoke with him.

    PS I am new as a logged in member, though I’ve been reading for a while now, and I can’t figure out the profile situation. I followed instructions, but it seems to want me to download word press. Every time I click the “update profile button” it says “Sorry, you need to enable sending referrers for this feature to work.”. The words “enable send referrers” are a hyperlink and take me to the word press homepage….HELP

  54. saltyC

    KMTBERRY,

    I love to sew, there were a couple of years when I was making all my own clothes, and basking in the non-exploitative glow. (though the fabric was probably made in sweatshops. At least it was mostly non-exploitative)

    But that was when I had a LOT of free time.

    It did open my eyes to how much we “first-worlders” are the man of the world.

    For one, I saved almost no money making my own clothes; the price of fabric, notions and thread came out to (on average) about 50-80% of the price of comparable garment in stores. Sometimes it cost more to make it.
    If I did save money, it was about $5 an hour for how long it took to make it.

    It is shocking how cheap clothes are, considering the skill it takes to make them. When people brag about how little they paid for a new garment, they might as well be singing about being a slavemaster.

    Now I would have to pay a babysitter to have time to sew, which I probably will do anyway because it is so satisfying.

    I guess my joy of sewing also reveals my shameful privilege. Someone once told me how she hates to sew, because when she was younger she had to.

  55. hedonistic

    Also – - look how MUCH clothing we have. So much that we get excited about paying only $8 for a t-shirt because we buy so many of them.

    I’m convinced that if we had three or four outfits that REALLY FIT our bodies and our lifestyles, we’d quit shopping.

    It’s times like these I want to send flowers to my tailor. He saves me so much money in the long run; I’ve given away about 75% of my shit. But I can afford a tailor. GAH.

  56. hedonistic

    I said GAH because I realized what a shit I am to feel “proud” of having overcome my own clothes shopping urge when it all just comes down to fucking privelege again. Sort of like the feelgood feeling some of us get from shopping for organics at Whole Foods. GAH GAH GAH GAH SLAP SLAP SLAP my face. Pooh.

    For what it’s worth, this issue Bitch magazine puts forth a few sweatshop-free alternatives from companies not run by complete assholes. There aren’t many to choose from, unfortunately.

  57. Ron Sullivan

    Hattie, while what Chris said about Berkeley is true (and a standing joke here) it’s also true of most places I’ve been including Comfort, Texas. (Does the Cypress Creek inn still exist? It wasn’t what it used to be in 1980 when we had dinner there, but that was because of a recent flood and they still served a very good steak dinner for $3.85, including beverage and dessert.)

    Pardon me, I got distracted by the memory of steak there for a minute.

    Anyway, mostly Berkeley had no problem handling Mr. Martinez. It was a/ the University, not the city or the people who live here. Some of us draw a fat line between town and gown, or more precisely between overtaxed city and presumptuous high-spending imperialist University administration. And b/ city officialdom, and that’s including certain culture-clash elements: the councilperson Mary Wainwright who banned nude appearances before City Council, e.g., is a respectable middle-aged-plus (read: I think she’s older than I am) churchgoing African American woman who’s taken up the cudgels against, another e.g., the Good Vibrations branch store in her district; Martinez was this young white-guy student (read: rich carpetbagger) who wanted to run around in his nudes. He looked totally unthreatening in person, mostly because of the some what goofy expression on his face and a bit because, well, you knew he wasn’t carrying a concealed weapon, ya know?

    And he did run around in his nudes, a lot, unmolested. I saw him a few times, and ran into various members (sorry) of the Xplicit Players (who I would characterize as colleagues rather than “followers” of Martinez, contra what that Planet writer said) at the Farmers’ Market now and then. And the annual How Berkeley Can You Be parade, which is more fun than it might seem, always has a contingent clad only in (one hopes) sunscreen, and of very various body shapes.

    And saltyC, I brag about how little I spend on clothing all the time, because I do a lot of shopping at secondhand stores and flea markets. Especially for Aloha shirts. The Salvation Army was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to give up, right up there with eating shark.

  58. saltyC

    that’s not what I meant. duh.

  59. ozma

    Dang, that makes me miss the car of my youth. So much so it hurts. Those scary earth-destroying vehicles (my car took LEADED GAS) will always be my first love. Oh, V-8 engine why do ya gotta be so bad?

  60. accordianchick

    Re: “Austin is the only town on the planet…that has homeless transvestites. … Who ran for mayor.” I work in downtown San Francisco and see quite a number of homeless trannies of several persuasions. mostly in the Tenderloin. I doubt any of them have ever run for mayor, but we had a serious contender in Jello Biafra way back when. Ah, the 80s. Those were my formative years.

  61. Pinko Punko

    We just saw this guy’s older cousin or uncle. he was a TRIP-

  62. hedonistic

    Unfortunately, folks, 80′s retro is IN this year (gah!) so you will be seeing these looks EVERYWHERE, on men and women alike. I’ve officially gone on fashion strike:

    http://hedonisticpleasureseeker.wordpress.com/2006/07/30/fashionista-on-strike/

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