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Jun 09 2006

Fish Story

Big fish
The big fish in my small pond. I believe it is a great white shark.

I drop out of society for a couple of days and what happens? The US military offs some famous terrorist, and W is all up in my face saying they killed the dude because when American nutbags kill Iraqi nutbags it’s called “justice,” but keep your shirt on, America; don’t expect an end to the glorious war any time soon, because the dumb insurgents are unlikely to view this blessed dead terrorist event the way God does.

In other words, 86ing this moron godbag will pretty much have the effect of re-enbloodulating the bloodbath. Go USA!

If the peacenik aliens who loosed the first amoeba or rotifer or whatever it was into the primordial ooze are ever gonna beam all these war-crazy jagoffs away into a black hole, now would be a good time.

I never should have left my pond. In fact, I’m going back there right now.

22 comments

  1. No Blood for Hubris

    Pond good.

    Enbloodulationed areas — fishy.

    Don’t go there.

  2. robin

    i just read through the comments on the cow posting. This neighborhood of Twisty’s is one heck of a fine neighborhood: clever people, erudite people, people who love to toss around any number of ideas, people who will go on passionately about the finer points of grammar as easily as about BDSM permutations. Cow people. Literary people. Acerbic wit people. Gastrophiles. I feel a satisfying sense of well being to be able to bask in the warmth of such good company. I roam around a number of blogs from time to time, and let’s just say that the culture of insight, wit and far-ranging ideas at Twisty’s is very very much in the minority.
    And why might this be? Are most people just banal, trivial, slave to cliche, small-minded?
    Why no! I merely BTP.
    Thanks y’all.

  3. susanjune

    What’s with showing the dude’s dead, grizzled body on the news. I don’t care if he was a nasty piece of work, lets show some respect for the dead. Can you imagine if “they” flashed pics of dead Americans all over the news, oh the horror. But wait, Americans are special and even the lightest of brown people are…well not.

  4. B. Dagger Lee

    I like to think the aliens loogied one into a salt puddle that was then struck by lightning.
    Yrs, B. Dagger Lee

  5. Betsy

    That is a carp, I think.

    You have a very clear pond.

  6. Jodie

    Too bad it’s not deep enough for scuba. Then again, most ponds aren’t.

  7. kathy a

    you know what got me? they put the picture of the cleaned up dead guy — blown up to what, 20″ x 30″? — in a huge freaking frame. and they also took the time to mat the photo, so it looks all nice. isn’t it handy that the bomb only killed him, and didn’t, you know, make him unphotogenic?

    clearly someone thought through the right kind of frame for the occasion, because it wasn’t your standard cheapo black frame, because that might imply some kind of sorrow at his passing.

    http://news.yahoo.com/photo/060608/481/b759a6f264e8400b919a0610748a73ea&g=events/wl/042506alzarqawi;_ylt=Ahyuoaak40JJ6she99rSQH4UewgF;_ylu=X3oDMTA3bGk2OHYzBHNlYwN0bXA-

    i rather doubt that miss manners works for the pentagon, but some group of poor slobs actually spent time and effort on how best to show this dead guy to the universe. WTF?

    the fish is quite handsome. and i bet it is contented, too.

  8. Ms Kate

    Well, if you are feeling Koi, you may be rescued in a fairway after the flood:
    http://www.boston.com/news/nation/articles/2006/06/09/nh_family_reunited_with_fish_after_flood/

  9. Ms Kate

    As for the horrid photos on the front pages of newsboxes near where children walk to school and wait for busses and on breakfast tables all over the nation, I say “and you worry about the children only when my lesbian neighbors get married”?

  10. No Blood for Hubris

    No. They don’t worry about the children. Ever.

  11. SisterJ

    Aliens.
    Sweet chariot.
    Somebody, PLEASE swing by.
    I am exhausted by all this violence & no longer amused.

  12. winna

    You can’t call it a culture of life when they’re all but throwing parades because of a single death.

    And I find it suspicious that he was so photogenic after being bombed from afar.

  13. Sara

    Yesterday at work I was immediately assaulted by the cover of the New York Post. It showed a photograph of the head of dead Zarqawi, with a speech bubble reading, “We’re gonna need more virgins!” (or something really close to that; I have blocked it to the best of my ability). My assistant store manager had turned all our copies of this rag around so that the covers were not visible on the rack, but my first customers, a couple from New Hampshire, gleefully purchased a copy, thus setting my mood for the evening.

    In short, your little green pond is looking mighty good to me right now, too. Fortunately, God seems to be punishing Massachusetts for Kennedy, Kerry, and gay marriages that threaten to outlast heterosexual ones in Alabama, so it’s been raining here a bit, and this means there are lots of ponds about just now, from puddle-size all the way up to swollen lake format. So, hmm, maybe God isn’t punishing us after all, but rewarding us, too, with ample places to hide and contemplate better worlds.

    I’d ask Pat Robertson, but I just don’t have time.

  14. vera

    That fish is a female. See the udders?

  15. saltyC

    It’s okay, little Timmy. Bruised bloodied dead guy is a good thing. We are happy happy he is dead. He was bad. Bad people have to die. Some other people died too, they are collateral, can you say CO-LLA-TER-AL? Very good, little Timmy, Timmy McVeigh.

  16. thebewilderness

    The preznits response was to declare Zarqawi “brought to justice”, in fact he repeated that phrase over and over. Who do you have to be in the new America to think that death through bombing is being brought to justice.

  17. SuperB

    For real. Culture of life, my ass.

    I’ve been reading for a long time, but just now got the ovarian fortitude to comment amonst such scintillating intellects as those represented here at IBTP.

    Because of Her Twistiness, I know use the phrase I blame the patriarchy in casual conversation on a regular basis. Thanks for increasing my IQ every time I read. Plus, y’all are fucking hilarious.

  18. SuperB

    Duh. Know should be now. Clearly I am not yet up to speed with the whole literacy thing.

  19. Christopher

    “The preznits response was to declare Zarqawi “brought to justice”, in fact he repeated that phrase over and over.”

    Yeah, because we KNOW he isn’t fucking Houris or drinking in Valhalla or flying around Mexico as a carefree hummingbird or any of the millions of other afterlives that mankind has posited over the years. God is punishing him. He talks to us.

  20. Mandos

    1. What if the aliens are not peaceniks, but instead primordial beings that feast off of the psychic emanations of violence and domination, and they seeded Earth for JUST THIS RESULT?

    2. I love your neologism, “re-enbloodulating”.

  21. Cass

    That’s a tiger shark. The Great White was driven extinct in central Texas a few decades ago by angry ranchers.

  22. finnsmotel

    Looks like a carp, to me.

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