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Jul 20 2006

White Male Privilege In a Nutbag. I Mean Nutshell.

Bush Liebes-Attacke

Why didn’t anybody tell me that the President of the United States of America stealth-groped Angela Merkel? Oh, never mind why. It doesn’t matter. I can’t lounge around in a drugfog for a week and then cry like a baby when it turns out that I’ve completely missed one of the most beautiful and hilarious examples of your patriarchy dollars at work, ever. But then I find out that Bush has vetoed stem cell funding, like some imbecile medieval pope-king, caving in to pressure from the superstitious white male parochiae. And then I find out I got dissed in the Village Voice, and well, if I had any guts left to bust, I’d bust one.

OK. Now that I’ve got that, along with my boobs, off my chest, let us proceed to an observation I’ve made concerning the Hollywood fantasy TV hospital vs. the real thing. It goes like this.

At one point during my convalescence I was unfortunate enough to watch a few minutes of a show called “Grey’s Anatomy.” Like 50% of all American TV shows, “Grey’s Anatomy” is a hospital drama featuring attractive young doctors who divide their time between boinking each other and valiantly struggling to save the lives of patients with whom they have developed strong emotional ties. I noted that, like all TV hospitals, the Grey’s Anatomy halls are clogged like a bathtub drain with earnest MDs scurrying around macking/saving lives/vogueing/coping with white upper-middle-class issues.

What a howler! Real hospitals are desolate, filthy, harshly-lit vaults of pain and urine, almost entirely devoid of effervescent doctorial presence. You’re lucky to catch a glimpse of a nurse twice a day. One is entirely dependent for survival on the kindness of the Clinical Assistants, a class of hospital organism formerly known as ‘orderlies.’ These are the people who perform the grubby crap. They drop by every four hours to take your vitals and empty your various effluent receptacles. They notice that you were incapable of consuming even one bite of your bland diet of ‘beef tips.’ They are the authority to whom you must appeal for a clean gown when your catheter leaks and you’ve been lying in a puddle of pee for 3 hours. They’re what hospitals are really about, but of course they’re all uneducated Latinos, so they wouldn’t make a very popular TV show.

73 comments

  1. A White Bear

    RKB’s snipe at you was infantile and glib. Especially given that your comment sparked a raging debate for weeks among women of all feminist stripes, she could have either dealt with it like it was worth considering or not mentioned it at all.

    I wish you a speedy recovery and adjustment to new circumstances.

  2. thebewilderness

    Darling Twisty,
    We knew you would find out about it sooner or later. We hoped for later since it demanded so much gnashing of teeth and howling, and a great deal of shrill, with a full complement of ‘ why can’t you feminists pay attention to important stuff and why can’t women take a joke.’ Had you known about this sooner staples would have flown across the room, endangering orderlies and family members alike.
    This presidential grope happened the day before the presidential roll spitting. The roll spitting got some news coverage, the groping was the exclusive property of the late night comics and the blogs.
    I’m glad you’re feeling well enough to blame.

  3. Auguste

    Beef tips? Beef tips are bland? Why is it that hospital menus always seem stuck in the 1950s?

    “We need you to eat a healthy dinner tonight. Here’s chicken fried steak with about a cup of gravy and a KFC Famous Bowl.”

  4. Ann Bartow

    Hi Twisty! Glad to see you back. I’m at a law prof conference. Glenn Reynolds (“Instapundit” is here too and at the moment he is wearing a tee shirt that says, “I ain’t too bright but I’m good at lifting heavy objects.” I am looking for someone with a camera, but for now you’ll just have to take my word for it. Take very good care of your blamer self. Missed you a lot.

  5. tuckova

    I did think of you when I saw the Bush grope, but I thought you had more important things on your mind. And also, I think the “massage” is offensive professionally and culturally to keep the people who care about those things busy, without needing to consider what it means patriarch-ally. If he’d given Putin an impromptu neck massage and Putin had waved his hands in “wtf-get-off-me” surprise, it would have been just as gross and frat-boy wrong.

    Grey’s Anatomy is Ally McBeal for doctors. Quirky! Sexy! Ladies with tapeworms and men with professionally styled hair! And much more attention lavished on the special guest stars than you will ever, ever get from people actually in that profession.

  6. Mel

    I’ll say one thing: That RKB is sooooooo going to regret writing that article when she gets older. It’s going to be one of those “aha” moments of her 40s, and I’d hate to be there when it happens. Well, maybe I wouldn’t hate it so much.

  7. Pony

    Hedonistic Pleasureseeker (before she ran off on some pleasure seeking jaunt or other) posted this on her blog.

    The Bush Pilot

    http://www.mindcaster.nl/vlog/?p=92

  8. antelope

    Shmuley Boteach is an example of a feminist?! That says it all.

    I do so love to see the name Shmuley in print, though. Growing up, that was my second favorite boy’s name, right after Shlomo. No wonder I have trouble taking men seriously.

  9. A White Bear

    That RKB is sooooooo going to regret writing that article when she gets older.

    I keep waiting for her to retract just about everything she’s written, but she never seems to learn.

  10. uzochi

    Just saw the latest photos of your latest scars, Twisty. Wow. You have some serious street cred there, woman. “Amazonian” leaps to mind. I admire your stoicism and determination to carry on with the hard business of making fun of idiots; in fact, I admire you, period. And I love this site.

  11. hedonistic

    I haven’t left yet, Pony! Too busy with medical issues of my own, so NOT a hedonistic pleasure. Anyhoo, we’ve been having a cackle over the Bush incident over at my little blogworld.

    Twisty, I took lots of pictures of Jello and thought about you when I was at the hospital with my sister last week. So glad to see you back!

  12. Lisa

    Yeah. I’m a lowly CNA (orderlie). Not hispanic, but disabled, so same difference. I clean people’s shit at work for $9/hr. and then clean my kids shit at home for free. It’s a good life.

    And yeah, the thing that gets me about shows like Grey’s anatomy is that they portray the doctors as actually recognizing that the charts they treat have people attached to them, and that their concerns and decisions aren’t based on a) insurance reimbursement, b) avoiding liability issues, and c) how and if a particular case will advance their career.

    In any case, you rock and I’m glad you are out of the dingy institution of which removed your cancer-prone parts. That pic of you and your gazongal truths was truly awesome.

  13. kactus

    Lisa, the thing that gets me about doctor shows is that they show doctors actually spending more than a minute at a time with any patient. I want to know when CNAs, nurses, and lab techs are gonna get their own shows. With a special guest star housekeeping person every week.

  14. Sola

    RKB wrote, “There’s a world of difference between being branded a sex object and choosing to be one under certain circumstances.”

    I get it! It’s all about empowerment! Our freedom to make choices! Just like:

    “There’s a world of difference between being branded a featherbrain and choosing to be one.”

    “There’s a world of difference between being branded a second-class citizen and choosing to be one.”

  15. Twisty

    Over the entirety of my hospital stay I was in the midst of an MD for a total of about 6 minutes. And I had two separate surgeons in charge of me (one for the boob, one for the babymaker). Not that I would want some dour old surgeon hovering over me 24-7 in any case, but seriously, the romanticized caring doctor myth is a fucking joke. My boob removalist is a pleasant enough lady, but I’m just a paycheck to her. The CAs at least acknowledged that I was semi-human. I wanted to leave a tip on the pillow when I left, but of course I hadn’t brought my wallet to the hospital with me.

  16. slade

    Hey Ann Bartow! I saw the same t-shirt…right here in Ohio over the 4th of July weekend. A young man with longish hair and a friendly smile wore it. Bright red with white letters reading: ‘I’m not very smart but I can move heavy objects.’

    I went out of my way to tell him that I enjoyed his t-shirt…he said ‘Thank you.’ It most definitely brightened my day.

    Twisty…so glad you are back and blaming! BTW, I didn’t have my usual once a year bratwurst over the 4th of July weekend. Had a gyro instead.

  17. Denise

    You just know it’s going to be a serious, well thought out article about the feminist view of sex when in the photo the author looks like she’s en route to unzipping your pants.

  18. Miliana

    Twisty’s back and I am thankful. Not that blaming took a holiday or anything, but I gotta confess it’s more fun when you do it and I missed your posts while you were gone.

    I knew there was a reason I always hated hospital teevee but always blamed my huge hospital phobia rather than the stupid shows

    Poor Angela Merkel – her expression conveys a handful of shock tossed with terror and garnished with disgust.

  19. octobermaus

    Twisty – I certainly hope you were in the presence of an MD for longer than 6 minutes, because I don’t think even the most miraculous of double-teaming surgeons could effect a boob-n-babymaker-ectomy in under a couple hours.
    I hope you are still healing well – goodness knows they didn’t even bump where you keep your sharp-writing-majigger (to the right of the liver, yes?)

    And really? I know some crappy doctors, but I also know lots of good folks who really do know that charts != people and who make decisions based on what will help the patient heal quickly, as permanantly as possible and with the minimum of pain and damage rather than the monetary reasons or medico-legal ones ascribed to them. And describing all doctors this way not only tars lots of great docs with the grumpy uncaring surgeon brush, it seems likely to engender the kind of mutual bad feelings that sound like they would make Lisa’s workplace (and maybe your hospital, Twisty) very unpleasant places indeed.

  20. MzNicky

    ” – when your catheter leaks and you’ve been lying in a puddle of pee for 3 hours.”

    Damn, Twisty, what hospital was this? Snake Pit General? Did you not have a nurse-alert button?

    I would send you a long e-mail detailing Hospital Horrors I Have Known, the ol’ ball-and-chain and I having both experienced our share of adventures in cancerland, except that Loard [sic] knows you’ve had enough; but never, even in the Bible-Belt backwater in which I reside, has anything that negligent occurred.

    Funny story, though: During the darkest days of my BrCa chemo, my teenaged son was hospitalized for five days with an undiagnosable stomach disorder. (Never figured that one out; he awoke on the fifth day and could finally keep water down, so they shrugged and said, “virus, we guess.”) Anyway, one night some goddam monitor or other to which he was tethered would not quit fucking beeping whenever he shifted ever-so-slightly. Assistance would be summoned and eventually arrive; adjustment would be made; five minutes later, the fucker would recommence its hellish sound. After a few hours of this, and the final time this happened, when a summons did not produce assistance for ten long hideous minutes, I pulled the needle gently from his arm and shoved the piece of shit out into the hallway. Needless to say, assistance arrived within seconds. When the assister made the mistake of trying to sternly admonish me, I snatched the wig from my bald chemo head and more-than-sternly advised him to get equipment that worked or keep it the fuck away from my son. We had no more beeping problems. Which goes to show, there’s no fucking excuse for lying in your own urine for three hours.

  21. mycrust

    You really did touch a nerve with that blowjob post. I think that speaks volumes.

  22. Twisty

    OK, let me get this straight. I’m not impugning the humanity of Doctors In General. As I said, my breast surgeon is quite personable, and if I had any more boobs to remove, I’d certainly give her a call. My oncologist is brilliant, efficient, a hot babe, and a great wit. My GP is as swell a gal as you’d ever meet (although, since she’s a good friend of my sister’s, we’re a bit more pally than I think doctors and patients generally are). Fine people all. I’m just sayin they are not cramming hospital halls in a horn-dog lather or forming deep personal bonds with me, which is what these TV shows constantly and ludicrously depict.

    As for the Episode of the Leaking Catheter, I appear to have misrepresented the facts. It’s true that I was lying in a puddle of pee for 3 hours, but it took me a while to realize that’s what it was (I was flyin’ high on morphine and had assumed I was having a sweaty hot flash; I hadn’t eaten or drunk anything other than a little water for over 24 hours, so the pee didn’t really smell like anything, you see. An honest mistake, for a junkie). Once it dawned on me that even menopause couldn’t produce that much perspiration, I gave a holler and the situation was resolved within 10 minutes.

  23. kathy a

    “your patriarchy dollars at work” — excellent assessment. she came close to clocking him, and she should have, except for diplomacy and representing her country and all.

    glad you are healing. hospitals suck. i think you mostly get more attention when they think you’re gonna die. the folks who come around regularly in the hospital — nursing assistants, orderlies, whatever — they have a hard job and a lot do it as well as they can. always best to have someone else around to advocate, if you are in a hospital. you can send a letter to thank the CA’s — they might win staff of the month or something. but really, i wish that hospitals were better staffed, docs had more in the way of bedside manner, and — oh, a whole lot of other things about availability and pallitability of medical care.

  24. hedonistic

    Twisty, the laying-in-one’s-own-piss-for-hours-at-a-hospital thing happened to me too once (unfortunately I did not have any morphine). When you mentioned it I just figured it was par for the course. Isn’t that sad?

  25. Atzbanite

    Good to read a nearly hale and hearthy Twisty, if not still drugged. My partner’s an MD and people are constantly asking if we watch Grey’s Anatomy and if we just Looooove it. Feh, if there was that much romance and boinking I would have gone to med school myself. It is, sooo the opposite I just want to strangle people who think this is what goes on behind the scenes. (more iike the seen behind). I think Scrubs is way more accurate in so many ways. I do admire your bravery in showing it like it is. I hate to wax emotional but it could really help someone else traveling the same row of staples at some point.

  26. MzNicky

    Oh. Well, okay then.

    Just expressing a shitload of personal and vicarious outrage on your behalf, darlin’.

  27. MzNicky

    Yeah, and another thing. (Sorry Twisty, and/or everyone who would rather be patriarchy-blaming, but I’m afraid that image of your stapled and drain-tubed body is giving me flashbacks big time.) The fucking premature menopause thing: If you’re taking Tamoxifen or whatever post-treatment, or are about to, the sweats and stuff may be exacerbated as a side effect.

    Yes, the fun never ends. But if you’re not already on antidepressant (and I’m not saying you are or need to be, but most creative intelligent people I know are, go figure, and I my own self have been for a decade and a half), some, but not necessarily all, of them do this wonderful cross-wired brain thing in which the same switch that causes hot flashes gets nuked by pharma serotonin reuptake inhibitors. I have a link for it somewhere if you want.

  28. Pony

    Oh good we’re exchanging hospital horror stories: my first time up to pee six hours after surgery (they won’t catheterize or bring a bed pan when you’ve had an instrumented fusion) I was left alone in the biffy to fall over; conked on morphine, into the space between the bathtub and toilet. Bent. One of the screws pulled nearly out, the bone fusion ripped and the vertebrae that had been scoured out caved.

    I don’t watch hospital tv.

    ##

    “CONCLUSION: The SSRIs or SNRIs, clonidine, and gabapentin trials provide evidence for efficacy; however, effects are less than for estrogen, few trials have been published and most have methodological deficiencies, generalizability is limited, and adverse effects and cost may restrict use for many women. These therapies may be most useful for highly symptomatic women who cannot take estrogen but are not optimal choices for most women.

    PMID: 16670414 [PubMed - indexed for MEDLINE]

  29. kathy a

    we aren’t getting started on hot flashes now, are we? all i can say is, they don’t mix well with actual heat. putting the air on about 60 and standing right next to the outlet helps, although that isn’t always convenient in public.

    come to think of it, being out of range of patriarchal jerks also helps. especially if you are in a shady spot, with good company and a cool drink and a nice view.

  30. KTal

    What in the hell is that man doing to that woman? There are times when i miss having teevee and to have missed that in action is one of those times. Reminds me of every experience I’ve had of being touched like that, uninvited. As if the surprise touching isn’t bad enough, without fail, the toucher is consistently some nasty, loser lech. So now we have another vile picture of Bush: the ultra-horny, boundary violating idiot who, so starved for attention and approval, goes around doing the worst thing he could ever do to get attention and approval.

    As for the CNA’s, yeah, send a letter to their supervisor, a call to the hospital will get you whoever is in charge of the CNA’s. I’m sure that many a petit bourgeois, ever eager to pretend to have some power over someone, takes the opportunity to treat those people like crap at every turn.

  31. Pinko Punko

    Well, the Doctors are in the halls and in the boinkery. You are in the urine-soaked pain section. I wonder what happens to all the surgeon’s first wives who put them throough medical school. I guess it’s a mystery!

  32. Pinko Punko

    One more thing RE:Village Voice diss. Even though I was on the other side of the Twisty fence on the unspeakable issue, I found that Voice column to be unreadable. Not illegible, mind you, but simply unreadable.

  33. firefall

    Stealth-grope? Stealth-grope? I’d hate to see what your idea of an unstealthy grope is :)
    (btw if you want a real earful of vitriol, ask almost any german for their opinion of Bush now)

    As for hospitals, I can so connect with what you said – the only time I had a surfeit of doctors was when I unwisely came down with something interesting and exotic, and had to put up with a parade of hatchling doctors prodding and pawing, 3 times a day – not exactly an improvement.

    But then it’s not just hospital dramas – I dont think any TV show has come anywhere close to the grim grime and general crushing tedium of law enforcement (and pretty sure I wouldn’t want to watch it if it did, fwiw).

  34. A White Bear

    Pinko Punko, that’s exactly it. I also am a detractor on many Twistical issues, but they are always and obviously worth discussing. RKB has a way of dissenting with Twistical positions with such ridiculousness and simplicity that she makes everyone on her side of the argument appear, momentarily, simplistic and ridiculous. As far as I can tell, her idea of feminism includes neither reading nor discussion, but merely an equation of the number of ways one likes to get penetrated with self-worth.

    No, it’s not really reasonable (to me) to say, “If you do X sexual thing, you can’t possibly be a feminist,” but it’s much more ridiculous to say, “If you do X sexual thing, you must be a feminist.”

  35. Libba Letton

    I have to get on board with my own hospital story — when I was in labor and very sick, they told me I HAD to have a catheter so they could measure every little bit of my urine output. Ouchie, and uncomfortable. Have you ever had one? Makes you feel like you have to go and can’t. Then the tube came out of the pee-collecting bag, and my urine was making a largish puddle on the floor. Did they fall to their knees, scraping up the precious pee-pee for measuring? Naw, they just mopped that shit up.

  36. Vanya

    http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=852335093&n=2

    I always feel the need to poke at GWB… Check out this great little vid.

  37. Betsy

    Surgeons like their patients unconscious.

  38. MzNicky

    Twisty: While you were off livin’ large in the surgical ward, I tried to post this link to a Barbara Ehrenreich article to get some blaming discussion going re: young v. old feminists or whatever. Unfortunately the Spamulator ate my comment. Anyway, this Village Voice “article” reminded me of it. Let’s see if it’ll come through this time. I thought it, unlike that VV wretchedness, was worth a read.

    http://ehrenreich.blogs.com/barbaras_blog/2006/07/give_me_that_ol.html

  39. MzNicky

    PS — The Ehrenreich article is especially memorable to me for bringing to my attention the practice of “pink-ectomy”— amputation of the little toe in order to cram one’s feet into teeny tiny pointy cruel shoes. That was a new one on me.

  40. Sara

    If it makes you feel any better, I only found out about the Angela Merkel incident via The Daily Show.

    I won’t share my own lying-in-pee-for-hours story because I have to watch my blood pressure. I am still — if you’ll pardon the pun — mighty pissed off about it. However, I have worked in two Boston area hospitals in administrative capacities, and I can tell you that, at least as far as these two hospitals were concerned, there did not appear to be a whole lot of rutting going on, especially among those apparently considered by Hollywood most likely to drop trou and get it on in a coat closet, the residents. All the residents and fellows I met tended to be very tired people. They were young, smart and attractive, but they also were lucky to keep their marriages or other relationships together throughout the duration of their training. This was because of the demands placed upon them by their work, not because of any libidinal distractions.

    However, I confess that I often crochet to Grey’s Anatomy and ER, well aware that they are complete crap, just the way I avidly watched The West Wing, as soothing fantasies for an antidote to the way things really are.

  41. Pony

    I’m usually a fan of Ehrenreich but this sounds like more of the west-to-the-rescue bull. Sorry to see Ehrenreich doesn’t apply her sound analytical mind here as she does to matters medical.

  42. Pony

    Sara do those observations hold too for the women physicians and interns?

    {Nice to see you Sara.}

  43. Hattie

    The medical system is a hierarchical society with doctors on the top and patients on the bottom.
    Just because you think of your physicians as peers does not mean they think of you that way.
    I was a nurse’s aide in my younger days and will never forget being reproved for sitting and chatting with the patients when I should be “working.” It was OK, however, to hang out on long breaks in the nursing station and smoke and gossip. If you wonder where everyone is, that’s where they are. Though not smoking any more, I guess.

  44. thebewilderness

    I spent a couple months in a hospital a few years ago. My family ensured quality care with a regular application of chocolate to the nurses and CNAs. Since the entire episode, for me, was all about white shapes and polar bears, I have only the word of family that the care was adequate.

  45. rumblelizard

    Twisty, I’m really glad you’re back and doing as well as can be expected what with the staples and everything. I tried to post good wishes on a few occasions, but the spamulator ate every comment. Hope this one makes it through.

  46. ozma

    I think it’s kinda cool to get dissed by the Village Voice. You did see that you got dissed in Salon also? I wouldn’t say ‘dissed.’ It’s that they put you on the ‘opposite side’ of this fake debate.

    There are so many layers to the ‘can’t take a joke here’ that it is funny in itself. You literally started a fake-o feminist ‘debate’ all by yourself with your blog and your incendiary sex pedantry. Just think of what you could do on an actual talk show.

    What is also hilarious is that this sex war is, like totally 1991. Or even earlier! I love it that they describe it as if it is this new controversy bursting out on the scene by these young, radical hip feminists who dare to suck penises and more!

    Twisty: I for one, promise to always feel a little guilty that I am not a lesbian. That will be my contribution to the cause. As a married woman, I will be the guilty middle class intellectual to your lesbian proletariat. I cannot fight in the anti-blowjob war but I will cheer you from the sidelines and provide safe houses for the underground.

  47. jami

    the interesting thing about the merkel grope was that many in the media reported that she enjoyed it. i think some media men have been lied to by their trophy wives about the meaning of their facial expressions.

    from the la times:
    http://www.latimes.com/news/printedition/asection/la-fg-preen17jul17,1,2442410.story?ctrack=1&cset=true
    “Entering the meeting room, as relayed by a Russian television camera, Bush headed directly behind the chancellor, reached out and, placing both hands on the collar of her gold jacket, gave her a short massage just below the neck.

    She smiled.”

  48. Twisty

    jami: “the interesting thing about the merkel grope was that many in the media reported that she enjoyed it.”

    I know! I know! This kills me. But every woman who sees that picture knows exactly how fucking skeevy that felt.

    I await reports from the Feminist Cops chiding me for threatening a woman’s right to be skeeved by a head of state.

  49. Mel

    “You just know it’s going to be a serious, well thought out article about the feminist view of sex when in the photo the author looks like she’s en route to unzipping your pants.”

    Yeah, but her boobs looked ghastly real! They even had a bit of a downwards slope! Anyone who’s truly into the freedom of feminist fucking knows that fake boobs are the only way to go. What’s wrong with that woman?

  50. Violet

    The prez’s recent back rub assault on the German Chancellor is exactly how a drunken boor at a cheap convention would behave after one too many “martoonis” at the cash bar. He spots a lone female looking pensive and pre-occupied and he immediately assumes that she’s “uptight” and in need of a vigorous male presence to snap her out of it. This is the same slob you meet on the street who tells you to “smile” because his misogyny insists that women look content and placid at all times. Anything less than perky acquiescence to his demands means, of course, that a) she’s “on the rag”, b) in need of a good you-know-what, c) a “man-hating lesbian”, or all of the above.

    I look forward to your reply to resident Village Voice idiot, Rachel Whatever-her-name-is. There seems to be no shortage of these upper-middle class fake feminist chicky-poos posing as skanky porn ‘ho’s for profit.

  51. vera

    I spent the first half of the past six weeks keeping an eye on my dad while he was in Stanford Hospital, undergoing treatment for the complications of chronic heart failure. We experienced good nurse/bad nurse and good nurses aid/bad nurses aid teams. Fortuntely, the bad nurse/bad n.a. combination only came up once, though it was nearly fatal for my dad who was left alone on the toilet without his oxygen for ten minutes (till he passed out).

    For 2-3 hours each morning, and again each evening, I stood guard by him while he was in the hospital. I’m convinced he received better care as a result. He was able to come home and enjoy being in normal surroundings for two weeks, and then quietly departed one peaceful afternoon while resting in his chair. I just returned from seeing to his burial next to my mom who he (old patriarch that he was) nursed faithfully for 40 years after she was hurt in an accident. He was definitely a good nurse though I think he’d prefer to be remembered as a Tough Guy.

    And there you have the central conundrum of my life until last week: being the radical feminist caregiver of a card-carrying patriarch.

  52. Pinko Punko

    A White Bear,

    Thank you for putting the words to my feeling. It is like my eyes just checked out in tht article and I couldn’t figure out why.

    Twisty,

    Conversing with the Random Randroid (as bad as it sounds) RE:skeevy ass Pres, capital P-enis, his claim was that the massagemo was “no biggee.” I then went crazy monkey ape shit on his ass. Even if in magical fairy land world, where Bush also gave Putin massages and maybe did Blair’s hair, we would then only have equality in skeeviness. How come people cannot check into the clue hotel about putting your hands on someone without their consent? Is there some non-obvious dimension here that is not apparent to my tiny brain?

    I so wanted to have multiple question marks at the end of the last sentence, but then I remembered myself and my surroundings.

  53. Mel

    Vera, I hope all is well with you.

  54. vera

    Mel: I’m adjusting. It feels weird to be no one’s child, but I know I am among lots of company on that one.

  55. Twisty

    Vera, I’m so sorry.

  56. Pony

    I too am sorry to hear this Vera. You’ve etched your parents so vividly in the story on your blog.

  57. eRobin

    Vera, I’m sorry for the loss of your father. Your guarding him in the hospital absolutely led to better care. My mother did the same for my father during his long illness. It’s a professional secret that having an advocate/watchdog is the way to get even average care. I know my mom, who is a nurse, saved my father’s life at least twice.

    Twisty, I’m so glad you’re feeling okay after all the surgery. Thank you for publishing photos and for being so honest about your experience. And funny too somehow.

    You wrote:

    I wanted to leave a tip on the pillow when I left, but of course I hadn’t brought my wallet to the hospital with me.

    After experiencing particularly bad, but not dangerous, nursing care after the birth of my son in conjunction with excellent care from a nurse’s aid, who kept me sane, I wrote a letter of appreciation for the nurse’s aid. It made me feel better. I don’t know if it did her any good.

    I would defiinately watch a show about the non-doctor personnel in a hospital for the fun class war implications alone.

  58. vera

    Thanks for the kind thoughts, everyone!

  59. LOLBall666

    It’s interesting that people believe merkel is being groped, despite her considerable unattractiveness.
    Maybe Bush’s standards are just that low (judging by his wife he has very little game).

    But damn…
    she’s narsty.

  60. hedonistic

    LOLBall doesn’t understand that it’s not about the sex. Poor thing, to have to go through life that stupid.

  61. hexy

    When I was in the psych hospital I spent a considerable amount of time in, the female patients who made up most of my ward insisted on watching All Saints every Tuesday evening.

    I pointed out that they could just walk to the end of the hallway and watch the real, live, actual nurses at the nurses station while I used the television to observe something less lame, but they stared at me as though I’d said something that was crazy even for those surroundings.

    I finally figured that either the show must have very little similarity to Real Live Actual Nurses, or that the girls weren’t taking their medication.

    Glad you’re back.

  62. firefall

    t’s interesting that people believe merkel is being groped, despite her considerable unattractiveness.
    Maybe Bush’s standards are just that low (judging by his wife he has very little game).

    She’s smart, which is a huge threat and a provocation to GWB

  63. Mar Iguana

    Ignorant and Proud, the slogan of the “I can be a stupid as I wanna be” crowd and their cretin leader, bushboy, Hero of the Stupid, who can’t imagine a world void of dominance and submission. As with any good Roman, they see humans as either pokers or pokees. Holes is holes. Kinky.

    LOLBall666? Heh, yes, that handle, so to speak, does paint a funny picture. Walking around with 666 balls would give a boy one hilarious gait. Might want to consider consultation with a reputable exorcist for help with that unfortunate condition.

  64. LOLBall666

    [quote]LOLBall doesn’t understand that it’s not about the sex. [/quote]

    WHOA. Fondling [i]isn’t[/i] about sexual attraction afterall.
    LOL were you born retarded or did you have to work at it?

    [quote]
    She’s smart, which is a huge threat and a provocation to GWB[/quote]

    Considering the alcohol-addled state of GWB’s brain, [i]most [/i]people probably provoke him in that department o.o

    [quote]Ignorant and Proud, the slogan of the “I can be a stupid as I wanna be” crowd and their cretin leader, bushboy, Hero of the Stupid, who can’t imagine a world void of dominance and submission. As with any good Roman, they see humans as either pokers or pokees. Holes is holes. Kinky.[/quote]

    lol. As a matter of fact the world [i]hasn’t been[/i] “void of dominance or submission” since the first carnivores got here =/ HAIL VEGETARIANISM!!! :D 666!!!

    [quote]LOLBall666? Heh, yes, that handle, so to speak, does paint a funny picture. Walking around with 666 balls would give a boy one hilarious gait. Might want to consider consultation with a reputable exorcist for help with that unfortunate condition.[/quote]

    I don’t see what’s so unfortunate. Better than having boring run-of-the-mill-balls. Or testicular cancer. Or something.

    The gait gets stares from women. Half disturbed fascination. Half undiluted animal lust.
    Just this morning 300 playboy bunnies with mattresses over their heads tried to kick down my apartment door.
    I’m not one to be taken advantage of.
    I ran for my life and dove out the window landing on a taxi driver and killing him instantly.
    I drove home and got away by the skin of my Satan Balls – then chugged three bottles of Gatorade.

    Fact.

  65. Mar Iguana

    “Better than having boring run-of-the-mill-balls.”

    Fact.

  66. rumblelizard

    Ah, yes. Because females who are not generally considered sexually attractive, such as children and the very elderly, are never sexually assaulted. Good point!

  67. LOLBall666

    “Ah, yes. Because females who are not generally considered sexually attractive, such as

    children and the very elderly, are never sexually assaulted. Good point!”

    They do. By people with an extreme sexual deviance. Does Mr. Bush stand on that end

    of the sexual perversion spectrum?

    Despite all his other faults – I’m inclined to say no.

  68. rumblelizard

    Your thesis, dear TrollBall, seemed to be that Bush couldn’t possibly be groping Merkel due to her “unattractiveness.” My point was that sexual aggression, including groping and rape, has nothing to do with the “attractiveness” of the victim. Instead, it is all about the aggressor’s desire to harm, control, demean, and oppress.

    That’s your last piece of kibble from me. Go Cheney yourself, troll.

  69. LOLBall666

    “Your thesis, dear TrollBall, seemed to be that Bush couldn’t possibly be groping Merkel due to her “unattractiveness.” ”

    I’m not saying it’s impossible – I’m just suprised no one here even considered the possiblity. You can’t even bear to discuss her unattractiveness without putting it in quotes.

    “My point was that sexual aggression, including groping and rape, has nothing to do with the “attractiveness” of the victim. Instead, it is all about the aggressor’s desire to harm, control, demean, and oppress.

    That’s your last piece of kibble from me. Go Cheney yourself, troll.”

    I’ve heard that motivation claimed for rape, with actual evidence back it up – though never for groping.

  70. Twisty

    I am trying out my new Disemvoweler plugin on LOLBall. Looks like it’s workin.

  71. Pony

    jack nicholson with lockjaw

  72. hedonistic

    I want a disemvoweler, wah.

  73. Human Rights

    White Male Privilege is a good book in the fight against dicrimination.

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