I am a serious artist.
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You are reading I Blame The Patriarchy, the patriarchy-blaming blog that advances the radical feminist views of Twisty Faster, a gentleman farmer and spinster aunt eating dinner in Austin, Texas.
I Blame The Patriarchy is intended for advanced patriarchy-blamers. It is not a feminist primer. See Patriarchy-Blaming the Twisty Way for details.
"I couldn't get Twisty's point. It was so longwinded." -- The Blogosphere
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That’s actually pretty cool looking. Sort of the eye of the hurricane or something.
P.S. I’m a serious artist, too. Or at least I’m serious about my art.
Beautiful! I see you’re still on some choice painkillers. Thanks for sharing your visions with your adoring fans. Keep ‘em coming!
Hey, as long as you’re serious, right?
This reminds me of a promo for The Hills Have Eyes. Thus I prefer the strictly representational form of this image to its abstraction.
Rotel on heavy rotation.
I find the single eye to be somewhat disquieting.
Everybody loves Toddler Spirograph!
Rotel in a blender? I get canned Rotel all the time and it’s one spicy tomato.
Far out!
If I ever do a Godzilla comic book rip-off, I’m totally naming the giant lizard Ro-Tel.
I think the “single eye” makes it look like there’s a flesh-tone rose sitting on top of her body. It’s neat.
Did you use a rotel-ry engine to produce that?
Hee. I recently worked with a woman who used to make wanky pronouncements about all and sundry, always preceded by the statement “As an artist”.
She pronounced it in a very pompous fashion, however, so it was more like “As an AHHHHRRRTEEEEST”.
Even more amusingly, half of the things she would follow this introduction with had nothing whatsoever to do with art or her (debatable) statement as an artist.
“As an AHHHRRRTEEESST, I think we should change the cover on that couch.”
“As an AHHHHRRRTEEEST, I like frogs.”
“As an AHHHHRRRTEEEST, we’re out of milk.”
Highly amusing woman.
That picture seriously freaks me out.
I didn’t see the shirt at first, and it looked like a swirling, all-seeing, all-knowing cervix. Disturbing, but cool.
Enough with the cyclopeia, up with the molluscoideian undercurrent!
I’m disquieted.
An all-seeing cervix. Now there’s an idea.
On a different note (Twisty — may I?), I would like to solicit y’all’s input.
To celebrate my upcoming 40th birthday I am compiling a list of “40 things every woman should know by 40″. I need more items (because evidently I don’t know all the things I should by my own self-imposed target - I agree, it’s slightly ridiculous, but it’s my way of honoring the milestone, so bear with me).
I’m trying to avoid feminine stereotyping memes about women, chocolate, hormones & shoes. In other words I don’t want something like “Always remember, chocolate is a girl’s best friend” or “Retail therapy is the best antidote to a bad date!” on the list.
Rather, the list has been running along these lines:
– The new foreword in a recently published edition of any classic book will, more often than not, contain a plot spoiler.
– Never mistake a liberal male for a feminist.
– Double-sided scotch tape is a good thing to have around, and not nearly as hard to find as it used to be.
– The phone works best when it’s off the hook.
Thoughts, anyone?
“A selfish lover is not worth your time.”
“Many men are worse than no man.”
And by many men, I don’t mean that having many men simultaneously is worse than having no man.
Lefty loosey, righty tighty.
Honest to ghod, it took me nearly that long to learn that.
“If a man tells you that only your love can save him, run in the opposite direction.”
“Fancy gizmos don’t work.”
“What is essential is invisible.” (A French writer said that.)
“How to change a tire - both a car tire and a bike tire.”
“How to be by yourself.”
Don’t trade your independence for security.
A good book is frequently better than a lover.
By age 40:
know how to play poker
know that living for or through others is a complete waste of time
know that whirling babies are scary
Oh, these are great. Keep going, please!
She should know she’s got half her life yet to live, and has already learned all she needs to know. The rest of her life will be spent with these lessons being repeated until she finally gets it.
QUick! SOMeone Save Twisty! She’s caught up in the Vortex of the Patriarchy!
Hold on Twisty! HOld ON! Just think of Bitch-Dykes and Haiy legs and you’ll be expunged.
To Betsy:
I’m 41 and i’ve learned some things like these:
- Money is a tool, not an end in of itself and like any tool, can be used improperly and wreak havoc
- A woman must often fight for her own space and her own identity. It is a worthy fight.
- Your trust is a valuable and precious risk that should be invested wisely and prudently
- Welcome mistakes as opportunities for improvement.
- Listen more to the voice in your heart and head and less to the noise outside.
- Nothing was ever worth having that didn’t require hard work.
Now compile a list of your favorites and send them around the internet so they hopefully replace those ditzy peices of partriarchical shit sometimes foisted upon me.
How about something along the lines of:
“Everybody doesn’t like you. Everbody is never going to like you. But if you’ve got a handful of somebodies who really do like you, and you really do like them as well, then you’re probably getting it just about right.”
(See, I wrote up this little “Women’s Words of Wisdom” list thing for my daughter when she was going through the terrible teens. This was in the top 10. Funny how sometimes, even way beyond 40, I still need to remind myself of this one.)
Fantabulous. I hope everyone is jotting these down!
I just turned 40, One thing I learned is, I had more time than I thought to start and finish something.
Also, There will always be new food gurus to tell you what your parents ate is poison, so don’t take it too seriously.
and magazines will try to manipulate you by making you insecure.
Honesty can be brutal, but it doesn’t always have to be. Failure to object is acquiescence.
No relationship can survive in good health without steady maintenance.
Youth is fleeting, but zits are forever.
You don’t need a purse.
For the hets: You weren’t really into him, either.
Never underestimate the power of a good night’s sleep.
The all seeing eye of Twisty?
Oooh, Betsy, I have another:
If someone says, “Don’t you trust me?” the only sane answer is, “No.”
I thought of another one too.
If a man says “I love women,” he doesn’t.
Cass, “What is essential is invisible.â€
Now, them’s words to live by.