Aug 02 2006

In keeping with my recent tradition of content-free posts

The future lies ahead.


  1. FamousSovietAthlete

    I’d like to see the evidence to back up this outlandish assertion.

  2. Mar Iguana

    And the past lies behind. Lies is lies and I’m up to my eyballs in ’em.

  3. Phemi

    Is ‘ahead’ on the map? Please, may I have some directions?

  4. Summer

    North is up.

    Shake well before opening.

    I’d say ‘ahead’ lies somewhere between the two.

  5. Ron Sullivan

    There’s some South American indigenous language that puts the past ahead and the future behind, because you can see what’s in the past but the future’s sneaking up on your back or something. Qechua? Aymara? I forget.

    What you forget must be off to the side somewhere. Maybe just beyond your left shoulder blade. Or it sidles around the tree trunk like a nuthatch you’re trying to photograph.

    Then there’s Google, and there’s Joe sitting behind me with a reliable urge to answer questions, and he got it with a one-hit Google string. It’s Aymara.

    “Nayra” = both “front” and “past.”
    “Qhipa” = “back and “future.”
    Aymaras gesture ahead to speak of past; behind, about future.

    And some of us can argue with any damned thing.

  6. norbizness

    [effusive paragraph #2]

    [random pop culture observation #29-d]

    [best wishes and felicitations]

    [user name, even though the user name already appears above]

  7. schatze

    Worthy of a fortune cookie.

  8. larkspur

    Of course the future lies ahead. Time is nature’s way of keeping everything from happening at once.

    [pathetic sighing about how time always keeps norbiznessso damn much younger than me. Though it’s distance that keeps us apart, spatially. Hmmm. Time. Distance. Norbi, we are not together at an approximate velocity of 605.08 kph.]

    In the immediate ahead-lying future, Twisty, please pet the pups for me.

  9. Pony

    like. this is so deep.

  10. Dr.Sue

    Befitting a serious artist.

  11. Betsy

    Twisty, you know how fond I am of hijacking threads. Don’t tempt me.

  12. Joanna

    If you don’t go, you don’t get to go.

  13. Joanna

    Je ne dis pas oui, je ne dis pas non. Bien au contraire.

  14. Sara

    And may we all live to enjoy as much of it as possible.

  15. thebewilderness

    Ron, may I suggest that black oil sunflower seeds will get you mugged by nuthatches. Makes for excellent up close and personal photo shoots.
    Twisty, I hope the healing is going well in the present.

  16. TP

    The future doesn’t exist, the past will never exist again, and the present moment too fleeting to appreciate fully. Pass the drugs and I’ll give it the old college try. Nurse!!!

  17. vera

    I was very excited by this post, because it gave me an opportunity to note that there’s a South American tribe who sees the future as being behind us and the past ahead. And then I found that Ron Sullivan had already made this observation! Damn!

    But then I remembered my favorite deep saying: “All times are one time.”

    So there.

  18. Ozzy Lee Harvwald

    I left me cookie at the disco.

  19. johnieb

    Delurking, reluctantly, here to be serious;

    Twisty, dear; rest, bask in those who love you, heal, to blame in yet greater ways, the Patriarchy.

    I think we can amuse ourselves for a while. Do I need to order drinks? Somebody? Where’s the caterer? We don’t take just any old thing here.

  20. ozma

    You call that contentless? Then why did that sentence make me so nervous?

  21. Sylvanite

    I’d love to be mugged by nuthatches. My birdfeeder attracts only hooligans, mostly house sparrows and rock doves (city pigeons!), with the increasingly occasional common grackle, brown-headed cowbird or mourning dove. The cardinals are terrified, and the damned sparrows are starting to bully the finches away from the thistle feeder. Grrr. At least the bee balm is attracting hummingbirds. I’d love to see a nuthatch, or any bird less rowdy than the sparrows, for that matter.

  22. grrr kitty

    Being perched on the verge of a valley, my workplace windowsill feeder attracts quite the variety. Frequently the hooligans will indeed attempt a takeover. I’ve also noticed the mourning doves are not so shy as they seem. Goldfinches and their red-headed cousins have been known to visit, especially when the cheap seed mix I can afford is supplemented with extra thistle seed. A local cardinal family are also habitues.

    Of course, when the red-tailed hawk’s in the neighborhood, everybody lays low.

    And a shockingly large raccoon comes later in the afternoon to glean any birdseedular leavings.

  23. slade

    Did someone say drinks? Cocktails? Set ’em up. I’ll begin my day with a cup of coffee with a shot of Amaretto….the drink for lovers. Around noon, let’s see…how about a tangy Bloody Mary with lots of dill weed. As the afternoon heat progresses, let’s move on to frozen peach dacquiris. And since the world is a hectic and nerve-wracking place of late, I may just take half a diazapam so to bear the noisiness of it all.

    What shall we order to eat?

  24. Sylvanite

    The weather seems to be mint julep weather. With fresh mint from the garden.

  25. saltyC

    just how long is the present? Is it a quantum? Is there a planck’s constant for time, or an indivisible smallest packet? And it would be smaller than we can perceive anyway wouldn’t it? What is the smallest unit of time we can perceive? It must be a much bigger span than the actual present.

    Old people say time flies faster now than when they were young. Is that just an illusion because after it is past there is a larger past to compare it to, or does the present actually fly for them (us)?

    Other ponderings from when I was nine: What is the color of nothing? Tonight I will notice the moment I fall asleep. What is the shape of the border of our peripheral vision? One question was answered: is the red that other people see the same color as the red I see? According to Wittgenstein, yes.

  26. Twisty

    I neglected to mention that my father, who, as a captain of industry and philanthropist, is always giving speeches, never omits to include “the future lies ahead.” He thinks it’s the most hilarious joke in the world.

  27. Mandy

    I hope you are doing alright there, Twisty. We CAN amuse ourselves, sure, but it’s nowhere near as much fun when you do it. However, I’m happy to order the cocktails and hors d’…what does everyone want?

  28. Mandy

    I meant nowhere near AS much fun…but I assume you all knew that.

  29. Sylvanite

    So you got your wit from your mother, then?

  30. suezboo

    Thank you, Twisty. It needed to be said.

  31. Jodie

    So why can’t it stand or sit? Must it lie? I think that would be hard on the back after awhile.

  32. darkymac

    The Twisty Father’s wit reminds one of Peter Sellers doing the Party Political Speech

    ” And, in conclusion, let me say just this”

  33. No Blood for Hubris


  34. Ron Sullivan

    Sylvanite, one way to keep house sparrows from monopolizing your feeder is to use black oil sunflower seed (that’s the cheaper kind) straight, no millet. And put the thistle seed in a thistle-seed feeder.

    Vera, I keep seeing stuff you’ve posted that I’d meant to post. It’s all like parallel-U shit, woooOOOoooooOoooo. My mother’s name was Vera, and I was named after her, only it’s Veronica. Kinda like Joe, who was named Martin after his grandfather, Bud. So, like, it’s predestined or maybe it’s quantum genetics. Or homeopathic mindreading. Or crystal-aura predestination. Or, um, vibrations. Yeah, that’s it! Vibrations!

    All right, Joe, where’s the bourbon?

  35. vera

    All is vibrations. When I was little I used to pretend that my name was Veronica and that everyone would call me Ronnie. ‘Cause Vera was such a totally lame name!

  36. Ron Sullivan

    Spend 16 years in Catholic schools getting ribbed about the Sixth Station of the Cross, Vera, and I guarantee “Veronica” will lose its luster too.

    Though I admit that when Real Toads Gardening was a live (one-woman) business I used to plant some Veronica species or other in most of my clients’ gardens, by way of signature.

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