Monthly Archive: August 2006

Aug 13 2006

Shooting Fish in a Barrel

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Because of the terrorists it is Danger Level Red outside. The streets are running thick with nitroglycerin and shampoo. Better not go out there. But how to take a spinster aunt’s mind off Homeland Security’s obsession with toiletries? A made-for-TV biopic, that’s how! Naturally the best made-for-TV biopics contain the most insipid scripts ever written …

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Aug 10 2006

Reptile of the Week

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Behold the Texas spiny lizard. Bewitching. Winsome. Spiny. This adolescent specimen was observed hanging around on the Twisty mailbox Tuesday afternoon. If I were a sentimental, anthropomorphizing sort of writer, which lucky for you I am not, I would describe this lizard’s expression as ‘wry’. But the Texas spiny lizard’s brain is the size of …

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Aug 08 2006

Dee-nied

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Today the spinster aunt contemplates swim-wear. Specifically, nonboobal swim-wear. What’s the big whoop, you ask? Well, it’s like this. If a gal with a couple of lumpy scars where her ta-tas used to be wants to go swimming in public, the sartorial considerations are complex. You’d think nonboobalosity would simplify things, as it does for …

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Aug 03 2006

Knobs On Parade

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I had never heard of this knob Tucker Max until a blamer inflicted him on me a couple of days ago. But I am not surprised that he exists. Like everyone else who has just turned 30, Tucker Max imagines he has accomplished something. So he has written a book to share his unique greatness …

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Aug 02 2006

In keeping with my recent tradition of content-free posts

The future lies ahead.

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