Because of the terrorists it is Danger Level Red outside. The streets are running thick with nitroglycerin and shampoo. Better not go out there. But how to take a spinster aunt’s mind off Homeland Security’s obsession with toiletries? A made-for-TV biopic, that’s how! Naturally the best made-for-TV biopics contain the most insipid scripts ever written …
Monthly Archive: August 2006
Aug 10 2006
Reptile of the Week
Behold the Texas spiny lizard. Bewitching. Winsome. Spiny. This adolescent specimen was observed hanging around on the Twisty mailbox Tuesday afternoon. If I were a sentimental, anthropomorphizing sort of writer, which lucky for you I am not, I would describe this lizard’s expression as ‘wry’. But the Texas spiny lizard’s brain is the size of …
Aug 08 2006
Dee-nied
Today the spinster aunt contemplates swim-wear. Specifically, nonboobal swim-wear. What’s the big whoop, you ask? Well, it’s like this. If a gal with a couple of lumpy scars where her ta-tas used to be wants to go swimming in public, the sartorial considerations are complex. You’d think nonboobalosity would simplify things, as it does for …
Aug 03 2006
Knobs On Parade
I had never heard of this knob Tucker Max until a blamer inflicted him on me a couple of days ago. But I am not surprised that he exists. Like everyone else who has just turned 30, Tucker Max imagines he has accomplished something. So he has written a book to share his unique greatness …

Latest Blamer Invective