«

»

Sep 03 2006

No Joy

fatdrunkdude.JPG
Grim unphotoshopped foto of a drunken slob, male. Subject was espied exhibiting behavior typical of the species (e.g. Texas Longhorns fan passed out cold, fly open, may or may not have pissed self) at a bus stop near the Erwin Center on Red River, September 1, 2006.

I have spent the entire morning locked in mortal combat with The Man. By which I mean I have spent the entire morning locked in mortal combat with Adobe Systems Inc. The episode has robbed me of what little vim I had left. Here is my sorrowful tale.

Once upon a time there was installed on the Twisty Mainframe a very expensive copy of Adobe CS2. Adobe CS2 contains Photoshop, an application I use daily and without which I am nothing. Nothing.

Horribly, the Twisty Mainframe is located in my office, which is down a flight of stairs from the main level of the Twisty Bungalow. A flight of stairs is coconut pie if you’ve got two or more feet, but for monopods such as myself (or, one suspects, for gastropods such as the one pictured above), that office might as well be in Cambodia. So I have contrived, for the duration of my ankle infirmity, to relocate the bulk of my professional life to the Twisty Recuperational Chaise*. There I might elevate my swole-up foot on comfy cushions, and there, with the aid of my 12“ Powerbook, the TV remote, and a middlin’ high stack of reading material**, I have been testing various versions of Lounging Theory in field trials for the past 3 weeks.

Yet I long for more. Thus it was my desire, this morning, to install Photoshop on my laptop, so that I might enhance charming photos like the one above for what is without a doubt your profound enjoyment, as well as to pretty much contribute meaningfully to Western civilization, without having to flail around tempting fate’s cruelty on these absurd crutches.

“Not so fast!” said Adobe Systems Inc. They were adamantly against facilitating my brilliant plan. Installing Photoshop on the Twisty laptop, it turns out, is like trying to prove the Goldbach Conjecture. I was obliged to search out dusty old account numbers, crusty old download URLS, and mouldy old serial numbers from ancient versions of Photoshop that are no longer even installed on any of my machines. To this end I teetered up and down the stairs on my rickety crutches, retrieving one essential code number after another, only to discover upon each return that Adobe Systems Inc, would require yet another.

In this painful and tedious manner I got all the way to the “Installation was successful!” screen, whereupon my heart, though I had squandered 4 hours of my rapidly diminishing lifespan on this inane project, swelled with joy. However, I was, if I may mangle Blake, to kiss this joy as it flew. For I was, in the final hour, dee-nied. Apparently the 8 million bucks I paid Adobe Systems Inc for CS2 does not entitle me to use the software in a manner that is actually useful to me. For although I am but one lone crippled spinster aunt and can use only one computer at a time, I may not ‘activate’ Photoshop in two simultaneous locations because Adobe Systems Inc are afeared I am a software pirate.

Adobe, 1. Twisty, 0.

Downloading without joy, if I may now mangle Ruskin, is base***.

So I’m afraid you and I are stuck with crappy-lookin’ fotos for the duration. They always look so unpleasantly cinéma-verité straight out of the camera.
___________________________________
* OK, the Twisty Recuperational Chaise is really just a cheap twin-size futon outfitted with assorted cheap wedge-shaped pillows. It takes up my entire living room and is super-ugly. I regard it as a prison.

** The Twisty Recuperational Book Table contains these titles:

Schmidly. The Mammals of Texas
Geoffrey Nunberg. Talking Right
Kurt Vonnegut. The Sirens of Titan (contains pet patriarchal dramatic device: the love-rape)
Sheila Jeffreys. Beauty and Misogyny
Bertrand Russell. Why I Am Not A Christian
Nature’s Path. Oatey Bites Cereal Box

*** John Ruskin knows from base. “Labour without joy is base. Labour without sorrow is base. Sorrow without labour is base. Joy without labour is base.” Time and Tide (1867) Letter 5

102 comments

  1. Pony

    Would this help?

    http://picasa.google.com/

  2. roozen

    How can you be the funniest person I have ever read and be a rad fem? Oh how I love you.

  3. j

    Russell’s Why I Am Not a Christian is classic. And I’ve been meaning to read Talking Right.

    I am sorry to hear of your struggles against Adobe. I am not fond of Adobe.

  4. Ann Bartow

    I don’t know if “Picasa” is of any use to Twisty, but I’m certainly enjoying it! Thanks, Pony.

  5. teresawymore

    I doubt anything can replace Photoshop, except maybe God, although Photoshop was created to fix all his mistakes in the first place. Thanks for the Goldbach Conjecture link, and sorry about the crummy protocol. If you weren’t such a law-abiding good egg, you could just pirate another key from some warez site online. Not that I would promote that sort of activity.

  6. Ron Sullivan

    On the (i.e., Joe’s) Powerbook monitor, that unretouched photo looks charmingly hand-colored, with the pale blues registering somehow on a different apparent plane from the heavy orange shades’. Just so you know.

    The look on the guy in the background is a nice touch. Did you find a match for your specimen in Schmidly? You’re not quite coastal enough for Mirunga angustirostris.

    You have my sympathy on having to deal with the klutzy efforts of software corps to thwart piracy. If you actually were a pirate, of course, you’d be able to circumvent that crap. Like humiliating airport security* measures, it really inconveniences only honest users.

    Any way to network lappy with, uh, mainframey? Like a really long cable? Ferried by a trained rat? I think your dogs need a trained rat to compete with.

    OK, then, a ferret?

  7. Kwillz

    Have you considered The Gimp? It’s freeware that has many of the same features.

  8. Mandos

    There are reasonable Photoshop alternatives. I use Linux, and The GIMP on linux does what I need it to do, which is admittedly not much. And it’s an old version of The GIMP.

  9. Twisty

    Thanks for the suggestions, group. I had considered the Gimp, but balked initially because, in addition to the fact that I already own (or should I say ‘rent’?) Photoshop, and therefore should be able to deploy it however the fuck I want, it is the greatest piece of software I have ever used, and after 341 years of struggle I finally know how to work it. I was really hoping not to have to learn another program, only to end up frustrated because it won’t do HDR compositing or something. I mean, I’m nearly 50 and I got cancer in my goddam DNA; it’s not like I got all the time in the world.

    Network? Yeah, I shoulda set that all up before my ankle surgery, but I hadn’t planned on being so klutzy on the crutches. Next time.

    Apple’s prosumer music software, Logic 7, has solved this problem by putting its activation key in a little USB key fob. If I want to use my Powerbook as a mobile recording studio, no muss no fuss; I just take the Logic key out of Big Bertha’s USB port and stick it in the laptop’s.

    Adobe’s a jerk.

  10. StealthBadger

    Jasc’s Paintshop Pro (www.jasc.com) is a graphics editor for those who don’t feel the need to airbrush Katie Couric into anorexia. It’s not as overly-powered as Photoshop, and it’s not the complete shift in habits that is involved with switching to the Gimp (which, for the record, I also love).

    >.>

    *is wondering if that “worthy gentleman” pictured above sat on Pandagon, since it keeps trying to redirect everybody to a site that isn’t there*

  11. Chris Porter

    If you are only going to use the laptop install of Adobe CS2 while you recover, why not just transfer the activation to the laptop? Open PS on the desktop, go to Help>Transfer Activation.

    From the help:
    Transfer Activation

    If you are transferring an activated copy to a different or new computer, you can transfer the activation to the new computer. Go to the Help Menu of the application and click on “Transfer Activation”. You will need an internet connection to complete the activation transfer process. Upon completion of the activation transfer, your existing product installation will be rendered un-usable, and you will be able to install and activate the copy on the new computer.

  12. KTal

    You never see a woman sprawled out in public like that, least not that I’ve ever been aware of. I am always astounded how men have so deeply engrained the socialization of their dominance by the time they reach adolescence, that on the average, their social behavior rarely considers their vulnerability.

    If and when they do become victimized when in a vulnerable state, such as above, they and the rest of the public responds in shocked revulsion and rage that such a violation would occur.

    A young women lost after midnight in the city who entrusts a cab for safety only to find the cabbie a rapist, was careless. The woman on a first floor unit in a condo living alone who does not have bars on her windows and three doberman pinschers to thwart away every possible threat, is deemed careless when her lifeless body is found on her bed. She must have known him, her skirt was too short, her look too sexy, she should have known he was following her.

    But be a man, lay sprawled on a public picnic bench in a major metropolitan area, your fly unziipped, closed eyes, out of orbit and you are entitled to your peace and sanctity.

    Let us consider also the number of such creatures, married to women who must, for the sake of their own ‘dignity’, make sure that they do not even leave their house without proper facial makeup and attire, lest they bring shame and rebuke on themselves and their household.

  13. schmutzie

    GIMP is remarkably similar to Photoshop. Be not afraid.

  14. Pony

    And they said internet dating would be fun.

  15. Jezebella

    You know, I always thought I was a real champion of Extreme Lounging [tm], the extreme sport of choice Chez Jezebella. Now I realize that there need to be two categories of competitors, as anyone recuperating from surgery automatically has a huuuuuge headstart on the rest of us, due to the unfair advantage of legally prescribed doping agents. Well, and also the pain, the crutches, and the wayward DNA, I suppose.

    Twisty, consider yourself a front-runner for the Extreme Lounger of the Year. May you or one of your minions defeat the Evil Adobe Empire.

    a Texas aside: I never thought anyone actually hollered “Whee doggie!” anywhere but TV, until I lived in the Thunderbird apartments on 45th & Duval. But then, UT football season came along. After every friggin home game, I was treated to regular rounds of WHEE DOGGIE hollered from cars zooming past.

  16. Erica

    I second what Chris Porter says about the option to Transfer Activation. I work at a po’ little non-profit and that is how we move our one little copy of CS2 from one computer to another.

  17. Joanna

    Yes, thanks for the Picassa tip, Pony! (Google: did you mean Picasso?)

    Competition for largest sleeping piggy-wiggy:
    http://wcco.com/slideshows/local_slideshow_241151028

  18. Aussie Liz

    No quantity of photoshop is going to make that man attractive.

  19. kathy a

    no quantity of photoshop could enhance his unattractiveness much, either — unless adobe has a new “stench” feature. judging by the second guy [the one holding his nose a few yards back], we don’t need that, thanks.

    but to hell with adobe if they can’t give you the damned photoshop on the damned computer you are using.

  20. PhoenixRising

    Twisty, per Christ Porter’s instructions above, tell the desktop that it’s not allowed to use CS2 for the nonce, problem solved in that regard.

    However, your city is apparently littered with the ugliest damn wildlife I ever did see. Call animal control forthwith–imagine if it awoke and stampeded! Imagine the 19th century whalers traveling through time and space to render it into lamp oil!

    See, you could do a lot with that picture, if you could use your damn rented copy of Photoshop.

  21. kathy a

    in honor of labor day, my local paper has a piece on how sexual harassment training is paying off. there is a little too much on how it pays off for employers [for example, avoiding the $3 million judgment that a major law firm had to eat], and maybe not enough on less crap at work and how that makes the world a better place, but here it is:
    http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2006/09/04/HARASS.TMP

  22. ::Wendy::

    on another completely unrelated topic, apparantly ‘Tide’ makes the difference between smelling like a ‘mom’ of smelling like a ‘mom’, evidently I can get my life back if I buy Tide, so after I’ve popped out to the store to buy some I’lll read the post.

    on topic. OUTSTANDING photograph. I’ve never been to Texas but I think I’ve seen this guy….

  23. CafeSiren

    Jezebella, I think that the “extreme lounging” prize actually goes to that specimin that Twisty photographed.

  24. ::Wendy::

    darn thats mom to womb-mom not mom to mom…

  25. kathy a

    i really hate to see the useful concept of “lounging” disparaged that way, cafesiren.

    there is therapeutic lounging, and then there is drunkenslobbiness. totally different. this specimin is definitely in the running for the latter, in the “beached whale, urban sportsfan variety” category.

  26. Luckynkl

    “….when a worker calls a government agency, the caller is commonly asked if he or she has first gone through their company’s complaint system.”

    Isn’t that a bit like the fox guarding the henhouse?

    “We have seen an increase in internal complaints, which is a good thing,” said Donna Rutter, a management-side defense lawyer with the San Francisco firm of Curiale, Dellaverson, Hirschfeld & Kraemer.

    **Lucky scratches head** There’s an increase in complaints and that’s a good thing? What’s wrong with this picture?

    Oh, I see! internal complaints are up, but lawsuits are down. In other words, power and control has been handed back to foxes.

    Case in point. My daughter works for a major corporation. She followed the proper channels and lodged a complaint about a co-worker who wouldn’t leave her alone and kept touching her and trying to corner her and kiss her. She’s married and pregnant but even that wasn’t serving as effective bug repellent. She asked if she could be transferred to another dept or work different days or shifts than he does. The company handled the complaint all right. She was told to keep her mouth shut and if she breathed one word of it to anyone else, she would be immediately fired. She was also denied a transfer and a day or shift change. She was to get along with the Touchy Feely Kissing Bandit or else. So she did the only thing she could do. She quit. Voila! Problem solved. No messy lawsuit. This company can now joing the ranks of the others claiming, “Lawsuits are way down,” giving the public the impression that sexual harrassment isn’t being tolerated in the workplace any more. The public just forgets to ask from whom it isn’t being tolerated from.

  27. Blamerella

    Let us consider also the number of such creatures, married to women who must, for the sake of their own ‘dignity’, make sure that they do not even leave their house without proper facial makeup and attire, lest they bring shame and rebuke on themselves and their household.

    Not to mention the now-obligatory corset when exercising. Also, ditto to whomever posted about how people would be aghast were he to be violated in any way, while women are accused of inviting whatever bad happens to them.
    As a woman who lives alone, it pains me to admit that when I’m awakened by a strange noise, as soon as the panic subsides it’s immediately replaced by self-recrimination of some sort. Why don’t I have an expensive security system/big dog/weapon/male companion? Drives me nuts and I blame you-know-who.

  28. Blamerella

    Ooh…I see both concepts came courtesy of KTal. My apologies. IBTP for my lack of attentiveness.

  29. Sara

    Hmmm, it does beg the question: What exactly were you planning to do to this photo with PhotoShop?

    I am simply relieved that the gentleman depicted does not appear to be wearing a shirt which says “No Fat Chicks.” That would have proven way too much for my sensibilities, I fear. It’s not as though I haven’t seen similar instances before, often. It’s just that the cumulative effects are most degrading to one’s equanimity.

    Meanwhile, yes, Adobe’s a jerk — and for the purpose of protecting my blood pressure we will not discuss how I know this, too, even though my past issues were different from your current ones — but Illustrator and PhotoShop are both two of the greatest things in the world indeed, especially if you are already versed in their analog equivalents.

    (sigh)

  30. maggiethewolf

    I feel sorry for the big guy. You photographed him unawares and pass him to your posse, who proceeded, as prompted, to feel superior to him. Sure, sure, a few of you tried to connect his sleeping to patriarchy, but what played out in this thread reminded me more of the junior high hierarchy, where the kids with lovely faces laugh at the fatty.

    Damn, Twisty, you’re a fellow queer woman. You must have passed packs of pretty blondes and had them laugh at you. You have to know how it feels to be caught and fingered as different.

  31. CafeSiren

    Maggie, I don’t think Twisty would have photographed or the blamers would have laughed at the gentleman above if it were his physique alone — but combined with the double-UT gear, open fly, and urine stain on his crotch, it bespeaks a certain type.

    Disclaimer: I’ve been known to photograph 50-something surgically-altered hotpants-wearing L.A. hoochies at the airport, simply because I can’t look away.

  32. Cass

    maggiethewolf has a point. Its very easy to project various unpleasant traits onto this poor fellow, but the fact is we don’t know him. And having spent some time on Capital Metro benchs in the past, I know how exhausting negotiating that system can be.

  33. Twisty

    Maggie, I don’t mock the dude because he’s different. I mock him because he’s the same.

  34. maggiethewolf

    I hate conformity too, Twisty. Some conformists, who comprise conformity, want to crush you and me. But if the circumstances of birth happened to slot you or me into his body and his habits and his life, that would be you and me, sleeping on the bench, in our soiled shorts, while slimmer, smarter, hipper, radical sorts mocked us…and that’s what I can’t get beyond, even though you’re mocking his sameness, which I also hate and fear. There, but for the roll of the universe’s dice, would snooze you and me.

    If you want to target someone, why not pick someone who also embodies sameness, but who’s awake and powerful and prepared?

  35. Pony

    It wouldn’t have anything to do with his habits and choices now would it? You are not born looking like this. You eat and sloth yourself into it. Because even people in wheelfuckingchairs can keep their weight down, and do, when their pancreas is shot to hell by sharing the nerve that is broken, so to speak. And please do not wave the reare few persons who are genetically disadvantaged at me. Even genetically advantaged would take consistent work to enhance it to this stage.

    “circumstances of birth happened to slot you or me into his body and his habits and his life,”

  36. Jezebella

    Twisty’s caption says nothing of his weight – only that he is drunken, a slob, and passed out in public. With his fly open and his crotch soaked in urine.

    Even his fellow Austinite Matthew McConaughy would be physically repulsive in this urine-soaked condition.

    As for lounging, no, he doesn’t really qualify as an extreme lounger because he’s not enjoying himself one whit. He’s unconscious. One must be conscious to lounge, otherwise one is simply *sleeping.*

  37. R. Mildred

    It wouldn’t have anything to do with his habits and choices now would it? You are not born looking like this. You eat and sloth yourself into it.

    Except that he’s also passed out drunk on a public bench wiht his fly undone and urine soaking his crotch – that he’s grossly overweight slob is just a coincidence.

    The way that his weight is one of the notable things about him is a product of hte patirarchy, where if you’re not one of the beautiful skinny people you are some how not really human – and guess which gender that idea most greatly affects?

    And face it – it’s not like it’s a bad thing he’s an overeating piggy wigger, it just means he’ll die sooner and rid the world of his slobbish (because of the public open flied autoscat porn display, not the fattness) ugliness.

    Eat, drink and be merry Oh Mr. Slobbish Cockstain! For tommorrow you will hopefully die!

  38. maggiethewolf

    I agree, Pony, by dint of supersizing and sloth, that many/most obese people play(ed) a starring role in their supersizing, but we can’t descry his history. Perhaps he was raised by enormous parents who encouraged him to overeat. I know he was raised by an enormous culture and monstrous corporations that encouraged him to overeat. Maybe he was never sent to an elite school and exposed to people who eat measured, organic amounts. Maybe his father swallowed a shotgun when he was 6 and he was raised in a house of pain, where food was the salve. We don’t know, do we?

    I’m thin and I don’t drink and I haven’t soiled myself since I was one year old (I do, however, sometimes neglect to zip my zipper.), so I’m not defending him because I’m directly projecting myself into his frame. I’m defending him because it’s not hard to indirectly project myself into his position, by dint of being queer and female and hurt and human.

    Jezebella, I think your defense of this thread is a little disingenuous.

  39. Twisty

    Uh-uh. Nope. I will not have it, I tell you. I never said “fat = slob” and I’ll thank you chumps not to put words in my mouth.

  40. kalien

    I call bullshit on Adobe. In the software license for CS2 it states that you are allowed to have it installed on two computers as long as you do not use them at the same time. I’m going to add a desktop computer to my home soon and you better believe I’ll be raising hell if they try to tell me I can’t have CS2 on my laptop and my desktop at the same time.

    Here’s the software license:
    http://www.adobe.com/products/eulas/pdfs/Gen_WWCombinedCS2.pdf

    It should open to the relevant page automatically, but if not, it’s page 266 section 2.4 that is of interest. It says nothing about the two acitvation locations needing to be different, and if that really is the only problem, just take the laptop elsewhere and install it there.

  41. slade

    maggiethewolf….why don’t you just go get the guy and love him?

  42. maggiethewolf

    slade, I’m trying to love him right here. Isn’t that clear? Why isn’t that enough for you?

  43. Aussie Liz

    In partial defense of Maggiethewolf, when I wrote my line “no amount of photoshop would make this man attractive”, as soon as it was on the screen I could see that it was wrong. I posted it because I meant “attractive” as in “the sort of person I’d want to talk to”.

    However, laughing at him, example as he is of the patriarchy’s immunity to vulnerability (as KTal put it, hitting the nail on the head), is completely different to mocking a vulnerable young woman who is, by courage or circumstances, rocking the patriarchy by having an unapproved appearance.

  44. KTal

    Maggie, why defend this man and his obvious lack of reguard for what others may think of him?

    Do you imagine that men such as this go home alone, cry on their pillows and bemoan that no one will have them? Do you think they lose work opportunities, receive less pay, are sneered and laughed at in public and portrayed on television as disgusting (or not portrayed at all).

    In our culture corpulent men have no need to worry, they marry when young and attractive and sooner or later, the budweiser and the hamburgers gets the best of them. They neither worry or fret about losing their wife, their job or their dignity. Television portrays the ‘family guy’, ‘homer’ and belushi-like characters as all fun, love and laughs. Ho, ho, look at the drunk guy! Ho, ho, look at the fumbling husband! Ho, ho, his wife and kids still love him! Ain’t that fun!

    Even his posture, sprawled out like he owns the bench speaks volumes about his social posture of dominance and security.

    When women, whether fat or thin can sprawl out blind drunk on a park bench and not get raped, beaten, laughed at, shamed or what have you, then I’d see your defending him as an effort to regain balance.

  45. Mandos

    Still, this individual is not merely patriarchy incarnate, or is he?

  46. marsha

    Someone else may have already gotten you this info but

    Transfer Activation

    In order to run an Adobe application on a computer other than the one that the software was originally installed on, you must transfer the activation. To transfer activation, choose Help > Transfer Activation and click the Transfer button. Transferring the activation disables the use of the product on the computer that you transfer the activation from and allows you to use the application on the other machine. In order to run the software on the first machine, you must transfer the activation again.

    If you do not transfer the activation and then try to activate the Adobe application on multiple computers concurrently, you will see the following alert:

    “Too Many Activations. The maximum number of activations allowed for this copy of [ product ] has already been reached. Please do one of the following:

    – Transfer your activation from another computer that has a previously installed and activated copy of [ product ]. To do this, launch [product] on the other computer and choose Help > Transfer Activation to deactivate the software so that it can be activated on this one.

    – Click the Phone Activation button to speak with one of our Customer Care representatives.

    http://www.adobe.com/support/techdocs/331418.html

    hope that helps.

    Blame On!

  47. CafeSiren

    Still, this individual is not merely patriarchy incarnate, or is he?

    No… but if he were surrounded by nubile, large-breasted young women clamoring to perform an act of oral gratification on him, he would be.

    (edited to hopefully avoid spamulator)

  48. maggiethewolf

    KTal, you’re pushing hard to fit what happened in this thread into a rad fem framing, but no amount of pushing will work, partly because statistics don’t support your assertions. Men are the demographic mostly likely to be attacked by strangers (in public places), whereas women are more than four times as likely as men to be victims of familiar crime: crime that is committed by someone familiar to the victim. Statistically, the least safe place for a woman is her home. It’s not a public bench.

    KTal, you wrote: “When women, whether fat or thin can sprawl out blind drunk on a park bench and not get raped, beaten, laughed at, shamed or what have you, then I’d see your defending him as an effort to regain balance.”

    This particular man can’t sprawl on a park bench without getting “laughed at, shamed, or what have you,….” Laughing and shaming and what have you all happened in this thread.

    This thread reminds me of the OJ verdict. A lot of black folks knew that OJ was guilty, but they cheered the verdict because it was partial payback for the all the times that white murderers were freed after killing black citizens. This is a less extreme example, of course, but the dynamics seem similar.

    Cass and Aussie Liz, thanks for the backup.

  49. Joanna

    Maggiethewolf, some perv tried to bother my 11 year old daughter and her friend at the mall today while we were getting her school supplies. She and her friend cannot even be more than a few feet away from me in a public place without some asshole hitting on them. She had the good sense to get the two of them away fast, because I have talked to her about what to do in such a situation. She didn’t tell me about it right away or I would have called the police on his ass (and resisted the temptation to inflict gross bodily harm). This is one of the reasons why it burns me up that some drunken slob is entitled to sprawl about in a public place with his fly open and most likely nobody will bother him, beyond taking his picture and mocking him somewhere he will never know about it. I might feel sorry for him as a person for his foolish behavior, but as a symbol of the freakin’ double standard, this image arouses my contempt. And I come to this site and comment because it is called I Blame the Patriarchy. I go elsewhere for “I Feel Compassionate toward men who are pathetic.”

  50. Carolie

    Twisty, drop me an e-mail please. I may be able to help you out of your Photoshop quandary.

    carolie at wordmagix dot com

  51. maggiethewolf

    Joanna, I’m sorry your daughter had to flee a perv. And I’m happy she had somewhere safe to go.

    But like FDR, I fear fear. We are taught to be afraid in so many ways and I fear that fear correlates with these stats, taken from various sources:

    “There are some significant gender differences in panic disorder. Women are twice as likely as men to develop panic disorder,53 and many experts agree that the clinical course for women is worse than that for men.54″

    “For every suicide death, about 10 people attempt suicide and these are more likely to be women than men.”

    “Women are more likely than men to be diagnosed with a mental disorder across all age cohorts, with the exception of the 55 years and over groups.”

    “An estimated 0.51% to 1% of young women in Western societies suffer from the full syndrome of anorexia nervosa, to 2-4% of American college women meet the criteria for bulimia nervosa, and up to 5% of young Westernized women of college age suffer from atypical or partial syndromes. Six times as many women as men are affected.”

    “Most startling of all the statistics gathered were the increasing rates of substance use among young girls, specifically in the 10- to 14-year-old age range.
    According to the report, in the 1960s, 7% of all new female alcohol users were between the ages of 10 to 14. However, by the early 1990s that number had grown, with 31% of all new female alcohol users between the ages of 10 and 14.”

    Of course, there are valid fears in being female, but I fear the runaway fears that might have physiological consequences.

    Joanna: “This is one of the reasons why it burns me up that some drunken slob is entitled to sprawl about in a public place with his fly open and most likely nobody will bother him, beyond taking his picture and mocking him somewhere he will never know about it.”

    I suspect he was mocked that day, again and again and again, by giggling girls and smirking men. Feeling superior is a pretty common trait.

    And again, a man is more likely to be attacked in a public place than a woman. If you want links to the numbers, I can try to find them or you could too.

  52. Cass

    I think it comes down to this: he’s an individual who we’re treating as a Rorshach blot. However unappealing he may look, we don’t know anything about him, and drawing conclusions about his character based on the fact that he’s fat, or spreading his arms out as he sleeps is as ludicrous as it is cruel. Perhaps he is a self-centered lout; perhaps he’s a schizophrenic recently tossed from the State Hospital who now passes his days at bus stops (he wouldn’t be the only one). We just don’t know.

  53. Joanna

    I’ll pass on the lecture with statistics about men as victims, thank you.I don’t believe it is relevant to what I had to say, or to the issue of whether or not making fun of this particular image is equivalent to learning fear. I’d say it’s rather the opposite.
    In my own experience, and not speaking with any statistics, learning to externalize my anger rather than cower in fear is exactly what improved my mental and physical health. I didnt believe that my daughter would escape the kind of pervy bullshit I was subjected to at her age because it is so common. I was concerned that in this kind of situation, my daughter would react the way I did when I was her age, and freeze up, not stand up for herself, not get help: be afraid to help herself. That’s why I’m teaching her to stand up for herself, not out of fear, but out of self-respect and a recognition that sexism is wrong. Oh yeah, and pragmatism: safety first. Am I more childish in the expression of my blaming than Twisty? You betcha. You disaprove of my tone, fine. I don’t particularly like yours either, even when I agree with you.

  54. maggiethewolf

    “I’ll pass on the lecture with statistics about men as victims, thank you.”

    Other than one, every stat I cited was about women as victims.

    But the one stat about men that I did cite is utterly germane to this thread. Some Blamers are saying that the man can splay on a bench without peril. Stats suggest otherwise. Most stranger violence is directed at men.

    Joanna, I don’t know that you can accurately assign tone to my words, thereby disapproving. I just don’t like some Blamers verbally attacking this stranger. Cass is right. We don’t know anything about this man. I do know that some mental illnesses can lead people to soil themselves. I do know that suffering can also lead people to abandon decorum. And I know that we never know what person can pull out of a tailspin. This guy might pull out of public intoxication and urination and do something wonderful.

    In the end, Joanna, I’m glad you agree with some of what I’ve written, even if you don’t like your perception of my tone.

  55. grrr kitty

    Your photo reminded me of a dawn stroll I took on Daytona Beach during an ill-considered trip there during the rite they call Spring Break. What to my wondering eyes did appear but corpses adorning the beach. It resembled a human version of what happens when sea creatures beach themselves for no apparent reason. They were the unconscious bodies of drunken fratboys in various stages of undress. The only pleasant side effect was wads of single dollar bills also festooning the beach. I gathered them up by the handsful (the single bills, not the fratboys) and left them on the nightstand in my room for the housekeeper. I figured s/he deserved it.

  56. Loosely Twisted

    Maggie, it wouldn’t matter what the picture portrayed above. You have a chip on your shoulder and are offended by others pointing out the true dynamics between males and females.

    Your statistics are crap, and in the real world most of us know it. The fact that the male above is even ON the bench, in his conditions speaks the truth we all don’t want to admit.

    He is comfortable in his town, in his skin, and in his drunkeness to do just what he is doing.

    That’s the bottom line. He felt comfortable enough to do this.

    Has NOTHING what so ever to do with who he is, where he comes from or what he does for a living. Doesn’t matter one iota..

    He CAN and IS passed out drunk.

    Can you do that? Can you feel comfortable enough in YOUR skin, YOUR situation and do that without being worried about what would happen to your person?

    Fuck no, so take your defensive bullshit somewhere else.

  57. maggiethewolf

    Loosely Twisted, we all should extrapolate from the data of our lives with extreme caution. We just don’t circle the Sun enough times to conclude.

    As far as a chip on my shoulders, yeah, that’s true, but not in the way that you think. I hate Internet violence. As a queer woman who’s been physically attacked and verbally attacked, there are things that I prefer about the former.

    As far as whether I’d feel safe in drinking myself into a public stupor: no. I sometimes don’t feel safe on a sunny day walking past a group of straight people…or pretty girls…or a group of young men. My point is that I don’t demaracte by just gender. I demarcate by sexuality and beauty and gender…among many other things.

    And you can attack me, L T, but I’m just the messenger. The message I carry will just be carried by someone else. It works that way.

    Now, I’ve made my case and I’m done with this thread, which conincides with what L T suggested.

  58. Pony

    I don’t want to see you leave IBTP Maggie. Nor LT for that matter.

  59. maggiethewolf

    Pony, I’m not leaving IBTP. I just had my say in this thread and anything else would just be jibber-jabber, but thanks for the sweetness.

    And before I ever posted, I wrote to Twisty and I asked her if it would work if I sometimes disagreed. She agreed to my differing. Thanks for the green light, Twisty. If if you ever want to turn it yellow or red, that’s okay.

  60. Cass

    My first thought on seeing this picture was that this man was mentally ill. I based this both on experiences with bus systems elsewhere, and with Austin in particular (we’re infamous, thanks to former Governor Bush, for the large numbers of untreated schizophrenics and major depressives roaming our streets). This first thought of mine could be way off, of course, but if it isn’t I think we’d all agree this man doesn’t deserve to be held up to ridicule. Now its been many years since I soiled myself in public, but anyone could take a candid and unflattering picture of me and draw all sorts of inferences on white privelage, feminist or anti-feminist women or God knows what else. And some of these larger points could even be true… but it still wouldn’t be very fair to me.

  61. amaz0n

    But like FDR, I fear fear. We are taught to be afraid in so many ways and I fear that fear correlates with these stats, taken from various sources:

    *list of well-known stats regarding various mental ailments*

    Of course, there are valid fears in being female, but I fear the runaway fears that might have physiological consequences.

    So, basically, you believe that women are generally less mentally healthy, not because we live in an oppressive system that is particularly oppressive toward women, but because women are hysterical, hystronic little dears who have “runaway fears” and self-created stress?

    FUCK THAT NOISE. I mean that.

    “Runaway fears”? Are you fucking listening to yourself? Way to parrot the patriarchal nonsense that says women aren’t even capable of making reasonable judgements about the nature of their own instincts and feelings. What, precisely, are women afraid about that they shouldn’t be?

    And what the fuck did any of that have to do with Joanna’s (on topic!) post, which you referenced, about her daughter’s brush with the all-to-common phenomenon of public harrassment? Which, by the way, may not count as being “assaulted in public” according to your stats, but, depending on the situation, is tantamount to it and is almost universally experienced by women and much less by men.

    For Christ’s sake, if it’s not one thing it’s another. When women are assaulted, it’s because they should have been more cautious. But when women are cautious, they shouldn’t be so afraid and worried all the time, because it might muck up their fragile constitutions.

    Maggiethewolf, all of those stats that you quoted and all of the “physiological consequences” that you’ve referenced have a cause, and it ain’t “runaway fears.” It’s the very real, very rational fear and stress and pain that comes from living as a woman in the patriarchy.

    Pray tell why, if the gentleman in the above picture has so statistically much more to fear from being sprawled in a vulnerable position in a public place than a woman does, do you so often see men engaging in this kind of behaviour, and so rarely see women engaging in the same?

    Do you think it’s because women are hysterical beasts with fearful imaginations that run away with them?

    Or is it because, regardless of what selective statistics may claim, almost every woman has had the experience of being, at least once, publically assaulted – by a groping hand, or a pervert who backs them into a corner and breathes down their neck, or someone throwing coins if their skirts are shorter than ankle length, or any number of other offenses?

    I don’t give a damn about the statistics that claim that women are less likely to be publically assaulted than men, because, in the context that you’re using those statistics in, the statistics lie. Are men more likely to be mugged, shot or beaten up by strangers in public? Yes, and that’s what those statistics count. Are those offenses the only kinds of assault that matter? The patriarchy might think so, but the real answer is no.

  62. Cass

    Bitch Phd had an excellent post on some of these issues a couple of months back:

    http://bitchphd.blogspot.com/2006/06/fuck-fear.html

  63. maggiethewolf

    Damn.

    I was willing to walk away, but then you had to go and say, “So, basically, you believe that women are generally less mentally healthy, not because we live in an oppressive system that is particularly oppressive toward women, but because women are hysterical, hystronic little dears who have “runaway fears” and self-created stress?”

    No. No. No. No.

    No.

    No.

    I wrote “Of course, there are valid fears in being female, but I fear the runaway fears that might have physiological consequences.” and you assumed the worst. Like BitchPhD, I want to control fear and to do that, I need to know what truly wants to back me into a corner and hurt me. That’s the purpose of stats. They give us a look beyond the tiny experience of our lives. And, of course, I correlate patriarchy and many of the myriad physical ailments that disproportionately afflict women: that was my point.

    amazOn: “Do you think it’s because women are hysterical beasts with fearful imaginations that run away with them?”

    No, but I think you have an imagination that’s run off with your optimism and clear-sightedness. And I do think, as I wrote above, that there are things we should truly fear…they just might not be what we believe. I truly fear the psychological/physiological consequences of fear. I fear being afraid of walking past some straight women than I do the straight women. The straight women won’t push me over a table like a guy once did, put they might smirk at me for being scruffy and having short hair and boy shorts. The push and the smirks all hurt and that’s why I stand (with Cass, thank God) against the smirking in this thread.

    Back to fear: it guts us and curdles our reason. I have this one life to live and so I fight fear wherever I can.

    Or, like Bitch PhD wrote, “Fuck fear.”

    amazOn, you asked, “What, precisely, are women afraid about that they shouldn’t be?”

    The hairy hand coming out of the bush. Stats tell us that we’re more likely to be raped in our bedrooms than on deserted streets. So, I take back the night, night after night. I walk alone and I walk far and sure, you can find someone that was assaulted at night by a stranger, but most rapes happen in our homes and our friend’s homes.

    And you asked, “Are those offenses the only kinds of assault that matter?”

    No. No. No. But I can take a shove or a hand on my ass or “Fucking Dyke!” I can take it and I won’t retreat into a house of fear. Again, I fear fear and this thread, to be frank, makes me fear some of you. If you’ll mock this sleeping, soiled man, who won’t you mock?

    Damn, some of you are fighting the wrong fight. We’re supposed to wear the white hats and if we still are, we’ve defecated on them in this thread.

  64. Pony

    That would be a first. Me? Sweetness. Ok Maggie. Just this once.

  65. maggiethewolf

    Drat, Pony, isn’t there some way I can squeeze a little more sweetness out of you?

    I made half a hillion typos in my prior post. Must be getting tired of tussling.

  66. Aussie Liz

    There is absolutely no comparison between us mocking this guy, and men hassling a schoolgirl at the mall. No comparison.

  67. Mar Iguana

    “If you’ll mock this sleeping, soiled man, who won’t you mock?” maggiethewolf

    Women

  68. amaz0n

    The hairy hand coming out of the bush. Stats tell us that we’re more likely to be raped in our bedrooms than on deserted streets. So, I take back the night, night after night. I walk alone and I walk far and sure, you can find someone that was assaulted at night by a stranger, but most rapes happen in our homes and our friend’s homes.

    That’s all well and good, but allow me to be the first person to tell you that if you live in a place where you can walk the streets at night, with confidence, without a .22 shoved down your boot you’re living a more sheltered existence than a goodly number of women (and men).

    I, for one, refuse to tell women what they should or shouldn’t feel or fear. I absolutely refuse to tell women that it is their responsibility to overcome their “runaway fears” instead of focusing my attention on the real problem, which, in the words of Twisty, starts with a P. Women wouldn’t be so afraid of rape and assault and other atrocities if they didn’t keep happening.

    I can take a shove or a hand on my ass or “Fucking Dyke!” I can take it and I won’t retreat into a house of fear.

    Good for you. Many women don’t feel the same way, and they have every right to feel the way they do.

  69. CafeSiren

    On this thread’s most recent tangent (women and fear):

    There’s an interesting book by a legal scholar called “A Law of Her Own,” in which the author points out that the “reasonable fear” standard in law is, by and large, a male standard (I believe that in the English Common Law, it is something like “fear sufficient to move the constant man”).

    I’ll cop to having, now and then, found the common female fear of walking anywhere unescorted to be risable. But that’s a gut reaction that disappears upon real examination:

    Has patriarchy produced a culture of fear for women? Yes, absolutely. Have women been complicit in perpetuating this culture of fear? You bet — see Twisty’s excellent post from last summer on “Rape Spam.” But as long as creepy dudes can proposition 11 year-olds and more or less get away with it, then women are going to be under seige (psychologically, if nothing else), and thus more likely to be fearful.

  70. Blamerella

    I don’t give a damn about the statistics that claim that women are less likely to be publically assaulted than men, because, in the context that you’re using those statistics in, the statistics lie. Are men more likely to be mugged, shot or beaten up by strangers in public? Yes, and that’s what those statistics count. Are those offenses the only kinds of assault that matter? The patriarchy might think so, but the real answer is no.

    And mightn’t men’s greater chance of being attacked in public correlate with higher risk-taking behavior? As others on the thread have pointed out, how many women DO you ever see sprawled out alone and passed out on a bench?

  71. Luckynkl

    And again, a man is more likely to be attacked in a public place than a woman.

    Completely false. Men aren’t attacked because they’re men. Women, however, are attacked for simply being women.

    Men are responsible for 97% of the world’s violence. Woman are accountable for 3%. A woman is battered every 9 seconds, raped every minute, and murdered every 15 minutes in the U.S. 25,000 women are missing in CA alone. 60% of the population’s women are abused or will be abused. 80% of the casualties in any war are women and children. Women aren’t safe in public, at home, in their cars, or even in their own bathrooms. There are no safe places for women. Those are the statistics. And that’s just the physical violence and the tip of iceberg. When we start including harrassment, molestation, porn, religion, the media and the millions of different ways women are attacked and oppressed in this women-hating, rape culture, it translates into a downright holocaust. So don’t even go there trying to compare the attacks on women compared to the attacks on men. There is simply no comparison. It’s not even in the same ballpark.

  72. thebewilderness

    I do indeed think this man is patriarchy incarnate. I think he is being rather shrill about it as well.

  73. maggiethewolf

    “…absolutley no comparison…” — Aussie Liz

    “Completely false.” — Luckynkl

    Has adopting absolute positions persuaded a lot of people in the past for the 2 of you?

    Luckynkl, I think you made some good points, but it’s hard to hear you when you begin with an absolute.

    Here’s another one:

    “There is simply no comparison.” — Luckynkl

    And another:

    “No comparison.” — Aussie Liz

    When people disagree with you and position themselves at the extreme end of an ideological spectrum, does such absolutism persuade you?

    Here’s a question I can answer (posed by Blamerella):

    “And mightn’t men’s greater chance of being attacked in public correlate with higher risk-taking behavior?”

    Maybe, but there might be a separate stat for that: young men are 15 times more likely to die an accidental death than young women. I think the stranger danger that men bear is separate and MIGHT be partly due to their swagger, as we MIGHT see in the Twisty-photographed man.

    “As others on the thread have pointed out, how many women DO you ever see sprawled out alone and passed out on a bench?”

    Maybe twice in my life. I tried to help.

    Mar Iguana said that women aren’t mocked at this site.

    Mar, you might wanna ask the sexbots about that. Or is it that all women are equal, but some are more equal than others? Mar, you can find, in just about every other thread, a woman who is attacked and whose values are mocked. Maybe the notion of woman is protected, but not each individual woman is given the same courtesy.

  74. Pony

    I’ll mock the patriarchy in whatever guise I find it. Women who shore up the patriarchy stopped getting a free pass from me long ago. They are more dangerous than the male members of the club, because young women look at them and think they’ll be empowered by being throatfucked at frat parties.

  75. Mar Iguana

    “Mar Iguana said that women aren’t mocked at this site.” maggiethewolf

    Nope, never said that. Clearly, I was speaking for myself. I try to remember what Emilia said in Othello (paraphrased): Be careful how you treat us, sir. The ill we do we learn from you.

  76. maggiethewolf

    You’re right, Mar. I misinterpreted. Sorry. And thanks for the correction.

    Pony, I think you’re right about complicity in patriarchy. An evil needs complicity. The Confederacy required its Confederates, as do all institutional instruments of oppression.

    This link (http://www.slate.com/id/2148089/) is only slightly apt, but elements of it reminded me of elements in this thread. Even if you can’t see the congruency, it’s a brilliant and horrifying analysis.

    BTW, I love that quote, Mar.

  77. Luckynkl

    Has adopting absolute positions persuaded a lot of people in the past for the 2 of you?

    Ah, so you don’t think they exist? Tell that to a man waiting to be hung at dawn. Chances are, he’s not interested in your postmodern, pie-in-the-sky, la la land theory either.

    In the meanwhile, being middle of the road and mid-stream is only likely to get you run over and drowned.

  78. maggiethewolf

    Luckynkl, I do think the adoption of absolute positions are common. I don’t think absolute truths exist…rather, they’re rare, for believing that they don’t exist is an absolute position.

    I tend towards Chaos Theory: everything is connected and therefore everything is complex. There are no simple explanations. I know, I know. I am supposed to blame the patriarchy in this place and I do sometimes, but I don’t just blame the patriarchy. Misery and oppression come through many mechanisms.

    You: “In the meanwhile, being middle of the road and mid-stream is only likely to get you run over and drowned.”

    Here, that seems so.

  79. Luckynkl

    I tend towards Chaos Theory: everything is connected and therefore everything is complex. There are no simple explanations.

    Yeah, I know. I’ve seen Jurassic Park too. You do realize that was fiction, right? Just the typical male womb envy and dreams of male motherhood that are a constant theme in his sci-fi flicks and religions. But as most of us know, about the only thing men are capable of producing is a mess.

    But going back to the Chaos theory, all I can say is, so the boys would have us believe. To quote Henry James, “Chaos is the rule of nature, order is the dream of man.” At best, only a half truth. The truthful part being order is the dream of man. HIS order. An artificial world, that he has to wake every morning to construct and reconstruct in order to reverse the well-balanced order of the natural world, which he regards as female and something to be conquered, in order to put himself unnaturally in the driver’s seat and in control. No doubt his big fish stories have become complex as he’s had to twist the natural world into a pretzel in order to accomodate them. You know the old saying — “Oh, what a tengled web we weave when we practice to deceive?”

    Basically, men are lies on the hoof (as a good friend of mine so aptly put it). The only thing that’s chaotic and complex are his big fish tales and the messes that result from them. So I tend to take the opposite of anything the daddies have to say and usually find that to be a lot closer to reality. Chances are pretty good that he’s projecting. When he’s not busy twisting and reversing.

  80. saltyC

    We shouldn’t worry about whether our positions are so radical that they won’t persuade anybody. I’m more interested in speaking truth that will resonate with like-minded people. It’s more important to embolden other radicals and budding radicals to speak out too, rather than being nice and mincing words to accomodate moderates.

  81. thebewilderness

    Maggie, these are the comments that set the tone that was objected to upthread.

    who proceeded, as prompted, to feel superior to him.

    If you want to target someone, why not pick someone who also embodies sameness, but who’s awake and powerful and prepared?

    I’m thin and I don’t drink and I haven’t soiled myself since I was one year old (I do, however, sometimes neglect to zip my zipper.), so I’m not defending him because I’m directly projecting myself into his frame. I’m defending him because it’s not hard to indirectly project myself into his position,

    This thread reminds me of the OJ verdict. A lot of black folks knew that OJ was guilty, but they cheered the verdict because it was partial payback for the all the times that white murderers were freed after killing black citizens. This is a less extreme example, of course, but the dynamics seem similar.

    I suspect he was mocked that day, again and again and again, by giggling girls and smirking men. Feeling superior is a pretty common trait.

  82. thebewilderness

    My point being that it is expected that the person actually commit the felony before being prosecuted for it.

  83. maggiethewolf

    I appreciate the input, thebewilderness, and I love your moniker. I went on the offensive because I was offended by Twisty snapping the guy’s picture, without his permission (in this case, she seems an anti-paparazzi, ambushing the unlovely and unfamous), and then having Blamers pile on the chap in public space.

    primedirective, I’m not about “being nice and mincing words.” Rather, I do like to be nice, but I’m not afraid to provoke.

    As far as “speaking truth that will resonate with like-minded people,” so people like you are the truth-speakers? Are you fallible? If so, when? And what do you do when you make a mistake, since you’ve framed your self as a truth-speaker?

    The fortuitous five-center wrote: “Yeah, I know. I’ve seen Jurassic Park too. You do realize that was fiction, right?”

    What did that great white hunter in Jurassic Park say, right before the raptors ate his face?

    Was it, “Clever, clever girl.”?

    I’d apply that descriptor to you luckynkl, but since I’ve already managed to insult one Blamer with “clever,” I’ll will say, “Funny, funny lass” and admit that I’ve seen Jurassic Park, however that wasn’t my source for Chaos Theory.

    I did, however, enjoy your quick critique of the film. Interesting.

    The providential half-dime also wrote: “Chances are pretty good that he’s projecting. When he’s not busy twisting and reversing.”

    I utterly agree with you.

    Here’s where I likely disgree with you: I think you do the same thing. So does Twisty. So did Mother Teresa.

    And so do I.

  84. saltyC

    Um, I never claimed to be infallible. But in general, I can tell a last gasp argument in the line of “you think you’re never wrong”. Next time you are making a wrong argument let me know, otherwise are you claiming omniscience? Ridiculous.

  85. Luckynkl

    Here’s where I likely disgree with you: I think you do the same thing. So does Twisty. So did Mother Teresa.

    And so do I.

    Ah, but you forget one thing, grasshopper. The power gaps between those who have the power to impose their will and those who have been disenfranchised of it.

    And that’s where your arguments simply miss the boat. Sorry to interrupt your regularly scheduled program with reality, but tho it’s nice in theory to pretend we’re all equal now and we’re all playing on the same level playing field, that’s just not how it is, now is it?

    P.S. Reversing a reversed reveral? LOL. Nice try, but no cigar. But you amuse me, grasshopper.

  86. maggiethewolf

    saltyc, you accuse me of a “last gasp argument”, but we just met! Damn, our relationship was a whirlwind. Met. Fought. Done. I’d be missing ya if I’d only realized I ever had ya.

    Now back to the blessed Jefferson. I’m glad I amuse you and I gladder that you call me “grasshopper”. Give me enough chances, master, and I will snatch your lucky nickel from your hand.

    You: “The power gaps between those who have the power to impose their will and those who have been disenfranchised of it.”

    Yeah, I know that argument and it’s good and apt here. As an aside, isn’t it classically applied to racism? I think that power does shift things. A lot. Probably a whole really, really big lot.

    But I’m just wary. I don’t know that power completely reverses the current. I don’t know that along the spectrum of power, what is up at one end is down at another. I doubt that what is good at one end is bad at another.

    Regarding the photo, I just don’t think we have immunity to assholerly because we have vaginas and I don’t believe, just because we’re feminists, that we can’t revert and be mean girls.

    Back to SaltyC. ‘member me? I read certainty in your words through the phrase, “speaking truth”. Maybe I was hasty. There are certain words that trip my triggers and “truth” is one. It doesn’t have a supreme, absolute aspect to it. It is a supreme, absolute word. And as I already suggested in this thread, I imbibe absolutism as willingly as I imbibe bleach. But let’s not break up yet ’cause I’m not gasping my last.

    Now, I’m off to the Sierra Club potluck. Woo-hoo!

  87. maggiethewolf

    Luckynkl, I was upstairs slicing ‘maters when I imagined me, on my knees, trying to snatch the nickel from your palm…and failing…and having you say things like,

    “Grasshopper, it is your wanting the nickel that keeps you from realizing what you want.”

    And:

    “Grasshopper, to gain the nickel, you must lose all desire for the nickel.”

    Just thought I’d share.

    Back to slicing.

  88. Pony

    What were they soaking those ‘maters in?

  89. saltyC

    Maggie, remember I wasn’t the one who walked out.

  90. maggiethewolf

    The Sierra Club loved the ‘maters. I added 3 kinds of hard cheese and basil leaves and soaked it all in Paul Newman’s Balsamic Vinaigrette.

    I left ya, SaltyC?!? My memory must be mush!!! Forgive me. And take me back. I’m off to fetch my ukulele, but I’ll be right back to serenade you.

  91. maggiethewolf

    I’m back.

    Now, I’m going to play, “Marry me,” in the key of SaltyC.

    This is the cue for all of you to insert your earplugs, please.

  92. saltyC

    =0

  93. Mandos

    I have to say that I enjoy luckynkl’s reversed reversals even though they have implications that are…interesting, to say the least, since she never limits the broad brush with which she paints. I assume that this is part of the whole strategy, because if one were to take her literally, one would imagine that nickels fall up.

    Most intriguing, however, is her comment,

    An artificial world, that he has to wake every morning to construct and reconstruct in order to reverse the well-balanced order of the natural world, which he regards as female and something to be conquered, in order to put himself unnaturally in the driver’s seat and in control.

    and I’m wondering how she thinks the world should be regarded and who or what should be in control. A little bit further up,

    Just the typical male womb envy and dreams of male motherhood that are a constant theme in his sci-fi flicks and religions. But as most of us know, about the only thing men are capable of producing is a mess.

    And I’m wondering just what her utopia would look like, because it sounds like she believes that womb envy and motherhood dreams are defining characteristics of maleness. If so, that implies things for how her utopia would operate.

  94. Luckynkl

    Ah, did you bring along your construction helmet, Mandos? I do believe I hear the sound of cement being poured and nails being hammered into wood as we speak.

    In the meanwhile, did you notice that you are the only one that needs what I said spelled out to you? That’s because everyone else seems to get it so there’s no need for me to go further and be redundant and belabor my points.

    But since you need an example, tag! You’re it! Because what you just staged is a reversal. You complain that I paint in broad strokes to cover up the fact that you just don’t get it. It couldn’t possibly be your fault. It must be mine! I paint in broad strokes! Instead of you’re just slow.

    Now stop pretending to be intellectual, You’ll hurt yourself.

    In the meanwhile, don’t you have some latin or something to look up to pretend that you know? **chuckle**

  95. Mandos

    But since you need an example, tag! You’re it! Because what you just staged is a reversal. You complain that I paint in broad strokes to cover up the fact that you just don’t get it. It couldn’t possibly be your fault. It must be mine! I paint in broad strokes! Instead of you’re just slow.

    Not really. To say that I find that you paint in broad strokes could instead have been a cue to suggest to you precisely that: that I am slow and do not understand the scope of your pronouncements. The remainder of my post was clearly a request for clarification.

  96. Mar Iguana

    Patriarchy-Blaming The Twisty Way: “I Blame The Patriarchy is not a feminist primer. It is intended for advanced patriarchy-blamers. Novices, callow youths, and the Twist-curious are welcome to watch and learn, but are encouraged to put a sock in it until they have looked up “feminism” and “patriarchy” on their own time. Patriarchy-blaming ain’t rocket science, but if you don’t have at least a rudimentary familiarity with feminist theory, believe me, you’ll embarrass us both.”

    Got sock?

  97. Mandos

    Got sock?

    Dear Mar Iguana, I’ve read that a long itme ago, since I’ve been posting here since it was a TypePad blog. Clearly there is a difference between mere patriarchy-blaming and the fascinating mind of luckynkl.

  98. Mar Iguana

    You are slow.

  99. Mandos

    And occasionally prone to tupos. *wince*

  100. saltyC

    Luckynkl’s observation about sci-fi is quite apt. It’s ironic when you consider that the first sci-fi novel was written by a woman, and it was a warning about what happens when men act on their womb-envy: they fear their own creation and forget that the only way to create is with love, and what you get is a self-destructive monster.

  101. Mar Iguana

    Oh, very nice, saltyC. I think that’s the best synopsis of that novel I’ve seen. Ever see the movie with DeNiro as the young doctor’s “creature?” Good flick.

    Would that self-destructive monsters were all the death-obsessed patriarchy created. Unfortunately, it also breeds creatures bent on murderous revenge on their creator by slaughtering his blameless family.

  102. napoli

    E evidente che il luogo e stato fatto dalla persona che realmente conosce il mestiere!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>