Hereâ€™s something extraordinary that just dawned on me: although I’ve googled women, I’ve never Googled ‘women’. So this morning I gave it a whirl. Behold my findings.
Item the first: NewSexBuddy dot com. How to score a one-night stand.
Second is “1000s of sexy women.” Great news! They all want to suck your cock!
Next there are three ‘news’ items. The news isnâ€™t looking so good for women today. This morningâ€™s top women-related headlines were “New proposal would ban women from key Mecca site,” “Women’s lap dancing club to open,” and “Oregon ranks low in growth of women-owned businesses.”
The next item is iVillage, a website offering ‘information’ for women in the shape of ‘tips’ on how to more successfully assimilate the superficiality of the feminine directive by buying stuff. For your vomiting pleasure, I present an excerpt from an iVillage blurb on a ‘beauty’ product called ‘Nvey,’ a viscous flesh-colored liquid intended to cover the face as, I suppose, an expression of today’s liberated woman’s sense of fun, creativity, choice, sexiness, and individuality:
As beauty goes, you can’t get more natural than this organic blend of chamomile, cucumber and calendula â€” not to mention rose absolute â€” to help moisturize and calm the skin. It goes on kissably smooth, and we like that it leaves the face glowing, naturally.
One ounce of Nvey costs 45 bucks. Naturally.
Not until the fifth item do we encounter a website interested in anything other than women’s fuckability. Biographies of Women Mathematicians is a compendium of North American female nerds through the ages. So, thatâ€™s good, right? I guess so, if you define â€˜goodâ€™ as â€˜dull as dirtâ€™.
Man, that’s all a spinster aunt can take on an empty stomach. I’m off to Foodheads for a squash sandwich.