Because I can’t leave well enough alone, there will be some screwing around with the blog template for the next couple a days. I trust you will find much to complain about.
Monthly Archive: September 2006
Sep 12 2006
Patagonia to Women Rock Climbers: ‘A Delicate Pointelle Weave Offers a Touch of Femininity’
Each new weekday that dawns on the Twisty Bungalow brings with it a fresh bombardment of mail order catalogs. I did not ask to be inundated with mail order catalogs, but you know how it is. Some achieve garbage, others have garbage thrust upon them. Anyway, owing to ankle surgery, I’ve been laid up lo …
Sep 12 2006
Don’t Let iMovie Happen To You
Sadly, this is what happens when you’ve been lying around like a slug for a month with a bum foot, and tut tut it looks like rain, and Stingray, who is thumbing through one of the 567,903,761 mail-order catalogs that were delivered to your bungalow against your will yesterday, holds it up and says, “I …
Sep 10 2006
Buenos Aires Café: Am I Dreaming, Or Am I Asleep?
Our affable waitdude threw an extra ham-and-cheese croissant into my carry-out box in a failed effort to get me to put a sock in the ceaseless flow of gushing stream-of-consciousness love-gibberish I loosed on him when I went to pay the bill. My fellow peckish Austinians—and anyone else who finds herself lurching through life in …
Sep 09 2006
Saturday Photo Addendum to Friday Patriarchy Check
Several of the merry commenters on yesterday’s post—wherein I Googled the word ‘women’ and reported the results—seemed to think I was just making shit up when I wrote that the first four items were exclusively concerned with women’s subordination. It is my young life’s dream to alleviate idiocy wherever I find it, so patriarchy-deniers will …
Sep 08 2006
Friday Patriarchy Check
Here’s something extraordinary that just dawned on me: although I’ve googled women, I’ve never Googled ‘women’. So this morning I gave it a whirl. Behold my findings. Item the first: NewSexBuddy dot com. How to score a one-night stand. Second is “1000s of sexy women.” Great news! They all want to suck your cock! Next …
Sep 07 2006
Thrones
Japan loves a throne. They have two principal kinds: automatic Toto toilets with heated seats that spray you with Lysol and blow-dry your butt, washing away to distant polluted shores the unseemly filth associated with having functional internal organs; and the kind that is ascended to. Which is more hilarious? You decide. The spinster aunt …
Sep 07 2006
Here’s Lookin’ At You, Liz
Crap. Vibrating Liz has deleted her excellent blog. I tried to check her out this morning but kept getting redirected to a cheesy sex toy site that insisted I was searching for ‘black vibrator’. Black vibrator indeed. I hadn’t even had my coffee yet. Did you ever read ‘Granny Gets A Vibrator’? Hilarious stuff. Here …
Sep 04 2006
Got Milk?
Members of the Faster clan (sibling Tidy and niece Ro-Tel) subverting the status quo in 2003 Ripped from the headlines: Actual local TV news ‘update’: “Is breast-feeding in public beautiful or tab-oo? Tonight at ten find out what Austin thinks about this divisive issue!†Holy Frito-pie on a Guardian Select aluminum crutch. So how did …
Sep 03 2006
No Joy
Grim unphotoshopped foto of a drunken slob, male. Subject was espied exhibiting behavior typical of the species (e.g. Texas Longhorns fan passed out cold, fly open, may or may not have pissed self) at a bus stop near the Erwin Center on Red River, September 1, 2006. I have spent the entire morning locked in …
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