It won’t cost you nothin’ to see my rack shot.
I wasn’t going to write about this Boobie-Thon thing, mostly because (a) it’s getting plenty of publicity already, and (b) it seems that those involved are motivated by decent enough intentions that anything I say will require me to field a bunch of dreary “how come you such a hata?” complaints. But of course about 327 blamers (one of whom dubbed it “Porn For The Cure”, heh) have expressed an interest, so y’all might as well have a whack at it.
Boobie-Thon, in case you don’t read Salon or Self, is a blogger-driven pink ribbon dealio. Readers send their homemade “rack shots” to Florida blogger Robyn Pollman’s boobiethon.com site. Then, for a $50 donation, boob-lovin’ voyeurs get to access the photos. The money goes to either Children’s Hospital Boston or the dreaded Komen Foundation.
I reveal no secrets when I say that I regard pinkribbonnity, Komen, and porn as a particularly putrifactionous combination. The addition of jocular little sassy taglines (“If they’re worth looking at, they’re worth saving!”) makes me wonder what these people are smoking. I mean, from where I sit, breast cancer isn’t about boobs. It’s more about, oh I don’t know, death. Still, whatever bangs your box, I guess.
So, for everyone who doesn’t send me a fun picture of their fun boobs, up until, say, midnight Tuesday, I’ll donate $1 to Breast Cancer Action. So go for it. The Sitemeter’s ticking.
Uh-oh. The slogan reminds me of a poster in a wildlife park of an animal being lined up through a rifle scope and through a camera lense. “How will you shoot?”
Obviously, I say, if it’s worth looking at, it’s worth saving.
Will you still donate a dollar if I send you a photo of my un-fun boobs? They’re really a buzzkill, especially at Tupperware parties and wife-swapping barbecues.
hold on, so if the boobs aren’t looking at they aren’t worth saving? ’squeeze me?
God, porn for the cure? What the FUCK are they smoking?! Um, hey, what another great example of how boobies exist only for titillation and men instead of …..just to exist. God forbid something not benefit men somehow.
Dear Twisty –
For what it’s worth, the amazons were reputed to amputate one of their breasts to facilitate their use of the long bow. You’re prepared to shoot from either side.
However, that’s not why I felt impelled to chime in. I would like to respond to the previous posts that seemed to question the need for conflict among the femininst hordes.
I would argue, as a long-time feminist, that what is needed is more conflict and more voices, more far out ideas, more thinking outside the universe.
Why? Why not peace and love and social change?
Because, having done my time with feminists of all stripes and persuasions and having noticed, as many others have, that the experience usually degenerates in power f***ing of the worse sort, because the model we are using is the patriarchal model. We haven’t been able to do the paradigm shift boogie to something that is viable, let along supporting and empowering.
I had hopes for our gay sibs and now all I hear about is getting married. Married. Is there a more repressing structure foisted by the p-archy than marriage. Marriage is voluntary slavery.
I would be more sympathetic if their arguments were purely economic. We’re all subject to economic depotism.
That’s being said, I don’t have answers. I just encourage the voices and hope that a few new ideals will emerge.
Love ya.
Racella
I’ll sort of match. I am a public employee of the State of South Carolina, so I probably can’t afford your sitemeter. But my far less popular blog has a sitemeter too! http://feministlawprofs.law.sc.edu/?p=1050
TF-
Patriarchy does indeed reach, or perhaps tie its new/universal/eternal low with the penis/funky bratwurst?-centered utilitarian (save the boobies! (Boobs Unlimited? Boob hunters join for boobular conservation? Boobs, the new assorted waterfowl?) argument for breast cancer research. It is sad but totally understandable that Susan J. needs to be tossed into the nemesis category.
I hope this click on IHTP counts toward the total. We’ll post some taco porn later in the week dedicated to IHTP.
Just wait till they have the Prostate-a-Thon photo benefit.
I will not be sending any boob pictures to you. I hope BCA makes a ton of money off of this, and that the Komen Foundation somehow withers and dies.
So can I send hundreds more viewers here then? I’m pretty sure that they won’t send you pictures of their breasts.
Bring it, Sandy D.
This is the first I have heard of the $50 to view breasts. Is that right? Am I understanding this correctly?
Why not pictures of a big (or little) hard penises for $50…after all, isn’t that the natural reaction of the male penis when it sees a women’s bare breast? Or is Viagra or cialis needed these days?
I get so sick and tired of seeing women’s bodies used for titillation…in the name of fairness, I want to see men’s bodies revealed for the same damn reason. I would like to compare the various penis sizes, girths, colors, testicle shapes, etc. I want to know what I’m missing…men don’t run around in Speedos or tight jeans anymore so us hetero women have no damn idea what is going on in the penis department. I guess that’s how the boys want it…they want their wives/girlfriends to think they have the biggest and best.
Or are penises unable to raise money for their mother’s/daughter’s/wive’s/sister’s/niece’s breast cancer? I believe the male of the species should do its part to raise $.
I can’t believe women sell pictures of their breasts for cancer research…which isn’t even real research. I’m sick.
Our bodies are just currency…I think I’ll put $$$$$ signs across my chest and ass. And when I go thru the check-out lane at the grocery, I’ll just flash those $$$$$$ and say, “There you go…my bill is paid.” I wonder how long it would take the clerk to call the police…could I make it out of the parking lot? Maybe we should just have paper money printed up with breasts on it…
BLAME BLAME BLAME
Okay, who used that HP slimming effect on twisty?
“Okay, who used that HP slimming effect on twisty?”
Patricia Morrison MD, boob surgeon.
Sybermoms.com are clicking.
Prostate-a-thon! oh whoo-hoo-hoo I’m dying.
Oops wait I forgot I’m a humorless hairylegged whatever the other thing was.
Hello! I’m a friend of Sandy D’s. I followed her link from sybermoms.com.
Consider my nonexistent boob photo not sent.
I’m from sybermoms.com, too.
I’m new to the genius that is twisty, but I most assuredly will pledge to never, ever, send you a picture of my boobs. Unless I turn into that saint that carries hers around on a plate. Boobython seems to suggest that women aren’t worth saving from pain, fear and death, but their boobs are; which makes the above referenced saint a bit of an ancient forerunner for this movement’s poster girl, yes? Isn’t this what patriarchy does? Dehumanize women by reducing them to parts, ala Killing Me Softly? As you so deftly pointed out, breast cancer isn’t about boobies, it’s about women DYING. But, but….that’s not SEXY….keep that dying shit to yourself, and show me your tits.
Genius. This is me not sending you a picture of my breasts.
Another sybermom chiming in in support!
Here they aren’t. Both of them.
Why do you suppose breast cancer is the most popular disease in America? “Our” breasts aren’t ours. They’re there for hetero male enjoyment so, hell yeah, they’ll send money to save ‘em.
I hereby refuse to send you a pic of my rack.
yeah, like i’d ever send you a picture of MY boobs. No freaking way.
heh.
nefarious. It’s nefarious, I tell you.
Count me in. The pictures are not forthcoming.
Here isn’t a picture of my boobs.
I tried to make a donation to Breast Cancer Action just now, in solidarity, but they won’t accept a non-USA zip code on the donation form. Anyone know a way around that?
You can e-mail them at:
info@bcaction.org
Thanks Pony. I’ve done that, and I asked them if it’s difficult to take international donations, to recommend an appropriate group here that isn’t covered in pink ribbons.
This is a long-time reader, second time poster officially NOT sending you a picture of her breasts. Even if she had a camera. Which she doesn’t.
No boobs pictured here.
The folks at Healthy Skepticism would probably know too:
Willunga
http://www.healthyskepticism.org/home.php
This comment is certified 100% fun-boob-photo free.
I’ll be not passing along pics of my tits. I will be sending you my support. Your scars look beautiful.
Hey, look, it’s not my boobs!
Wow. Looks like you’ll have hundreds of dollars to donate. Here’s my absence of picture.
you are gorgeous, twisty. here are no photos of my boobs.
Here I am, but my boobs will not see the light of day nor flash of camera.
Absolutely not showing you the rack, Twisty. I went on the link and noticed only large, lace wrapped breasts on the site. Where are the real breasts? Since cancer is now a marketable commodity, it was only a matter of time before porn caught the gravy train. You look beautiful, although I miss the pink nails.
No boobs comin’ right up. Your pic is awesome, though, Twisty.
Count me in! I mean out! I hereby don’t show you my boobs. You are awesome.
I’m a breastfeeding mother, and I won’t send you a picture of my breasts, infant attached or not.
Count me in. No boobie fotos here.
Boobs this comment = none
I’m not even sending a shot of my Lee Press-On Tits.
What slade said.
Covering my tits for a cure.
I have boobs, but you wouldn’t know it, due to the lack of them being shown in this comment.
here from ginmar’s link, and definitely not sending pictures of boobies (though I thought about sending some from http://www.geo.cornell.edu/geology/GalapagosWWW/BlueFoot.html, just because my mind quirks that way).
Not flaunting them here, not flaunting them there, not flaunting them anywhere. Also not a big fan of green eggs and ham.
Anon
no boob shot here.
I’m not flashing my boobs and therefore will not get any beads, either.
Hey, how about I send you a picture of my stubbly legs instead? Heh.
Actually I’ll spare you that one, and no boobs here either.
Boob minus, but a bit of toe
Susan J. Emu foundation does fund a lotta research including some post-doctoral fellowships (funding some great scientists I know), but when both breast cancer and Yoplait smoothies have the same marketing campaign some serious blame is in order.
My boobs are pretty saggy and very uneven, so I’ve got a better chance of somebody paying a buck not to see them than somebody paying fifty bucks to see them, anyway. Thanks for doing this, Twisty.
No boobalicious delights winging their way.
Slade
“Why not pictures of a big (or little) hard penises for $50…after all, isn’t that the natural reaction of the male penis when it sees a women’s bare breast? Or is Viagra or cialis needed these days?â€
Or more likely the mighty penis pump
http://sparklematrix.wordpress.com/2006/10/01/sparkles-museum-of-patriarchal-sexual-oddities-ultimate-electric-system-penis-enlargement/
See? Here aren’t my boobs.
Someone said : ” tried to make a donation to Breast Cancer Action just now, in solidarity, but they won’t accept a non-USA zip code on the donation form. Anyone know a way around that?”
Generally, I just put in five random numbers in these cases. You’d be surprised where I’ve ended up ‘living’ — I know I always am.
Hereby sending you no pictures. Not attached. Etc. k
delurk.
Post no picture.
Post reverse whistle through teeth at sight of scars and line cap.
/delurk
What is it about the Komen Foundation I should know?
Why are they “dreaded?”
I’m not sending you or anyone else pictures of my boobs. Ever.
You have much sand, Twisty. Here my boobs aren’t.
No one would wish to see my boobs, so I’ll make everyone happy by not sending a picture of them. What can I say, I’m a pleaser.
no rack pic here.
No boobs for a buck.
Oh ffs… how come every “break” I take from the internet leaves me not wanting to come back?
Twisty, you’ve inspired me to not just not send you a pic of my boobs, but to not send a pic of my boobs to every other blogger I usually read but have recently neglected.
Off I go!
No boob shots here.
Here aren’t my boobs too!! They are busy elsewhere….Excellent idea, this Twisty. Well done.
Those booby ladies have something here. My dad has terminal colon cancer. I think I’ll get a flickr account and fill it full of ass-holes that people can pay to look at to raise money.
I’ll start with the booby-thon squad.
Head shaking. Breasts not on public display.
i wonder how would they react if they’d only receive pics of scars…
Or pics of the severed, preserved in pink formaldihyde in Mason jars, canned boobs. Nevermind. It would probably sell.
I read about the $50 Boobie-Thon on Friday right after being told I needed a breast biopsy. I was so angry I bust into tears. Thanks for giving me a way to fight this crap.
No pictures from me.
I will refrain from sending you a picture of my breasts, which were just squished in the mammogram machine a month ago.
How many Yankee boobs do you see here? Yup, that’s right: zero.
Twisty, I am not sending you a boob shot right now.
No boobs here.
Sorry, but my boobs are mine and not for sale. Call me selfish, but I’m not sharing. Cha-ching, toss in 20 nickels for me, Twisty.
How ’bout I just send them a picture of my ass with a “kiss here” sticker on it? Oh wait. They might mistake the left and right cheek for boobs and in their excitement, donate double.
I will not be sharing my ta-tas with any strangers except my massage therapist. Dedicate my dollar to my grandmother who just found out about the buckshot spray of cancerous nobules in her breasts.
Ain’t nothin’ about wommins worth saving unless the menfolk can beat off to it, and gramma sure as hell don’t count.
Fuck you, Porn for the Cure.
So, um… it’s to - and I quote from the site - “raise money for breast cancer causes”. Then why the Children’s Hospital involvement? What am I missing??
(Porn for the Cure. Heh)
Twisty,
Here’s not a picture on my mammary glands.
I can’t wait for the Prostate-athon! Come on guys let’s see those prostates! When does Colons for Cancer start? Can we get a peek at your colon guys? Come on, it’s for a good cause.
Much Love from IL,
Bombadee
No boobs in THIS picture.
http://flyinfur.blogspot.com/2005/08/self-portrait-tuesday.html
I have boob pictures and am not sending them. Do I get an extra point?
PS RON: Lee Press-On Tits??? Ha!!!!!
Here’s my contribution to the antibooberama:
Twisty,
Not here for your perusal is a photo of my boobs.
Enjoy.
Jane
No boob photos here.
I’m proud to keep my headlights in the dark.
Has anyone out there thought to send a photo of a dead woman
to these assholes? That’s exactly the kind of thing I’d do, if I had such a photo, which I don’t.
No boobie shots pour vous today.
I’m resisting the urge to send you a pic of my hairy, pepsi-filled* manboobs.
-finn
* - they must be full of pepsi. they weren’t this big until i got addicted to the stuff.
I will break trend and post a picture of a booby. It is not my booby, however.
Behold:
Blue-footed booby.
I propose that we send in masses of pictures of similar boobies until their servers crash.
No boob piccies from me, Twisty.
Finn- we appreciate your resistance, please keep it up.
Twisty- Great idea. Consider my picture not sent.
And whoever suggested the colon cancer site, you’re brilliant too.
I only have one picture in which my boobs figure prominently and there’s a wee bonnie lad attached to one of them so really it’s a picture of matriarchially sanctioned boobular activity that I’m not sending you.
delurking to absolutely not post a pic of my boobs.
great idea, Twisty.
I enthusiastically refuse to send you pictures of my breasts. Also, I have a refresh button and I know how to use it. Pony up.
And rock on.
Twisty,
I found your website a few months ago because of the Austin connection (I live here too) and I’ve really been enjoying it. I don’t consider myself an advanced blamer, although I’ve been ranting about the same things for years, I just never knew how to vocalize them very well. thanks for the lessons.
And for that, here is not a picture of my tits.
No picture of boobs here.
(Long-time lurker, first time blamer)
(.)
Ceçi n’est pas une boob.
no one is his/her right mind would want to get a gander at these battered old relics, so consider my “rack shot” not sent.
No boobs for you!
Only my attention, as usual…
Type 55378008 on a calculator, turn it upside down, and whatcha got? A description of every email I’ll ever send you, Twisty.
I love this idea, Twisty. The Girls are camera-shy so they send their kind regards but no photo.
You’re my hero, Twisty!
I am SO not sending you a pic of my boobs.
My boobs are feeling shy and droopy today. Maybe some other time.
I don’t have breasts. Do I count?
My boobs send their regards, but no photos or autographs.
I have no clever comment about my boobs or lack thereof.
I’ll send a picture of my boobs when Dick Cheney publicly reveals his nipple rings.
Much as I appreciate my boobs–and much as I enjoy sharing them, with selected others only–ain’t sendin’ you a picture. (Ron, you also made me snort; love the thought.)
Another Sybermom here; good work Twisty. As a reward, you are spared a photo of my rackage.
Twisty,
I’ve been reading your blog for less than a month now and I love it. I would totally make out with you.
My aunt was recently diagnosed with breast cancer and has since had a lumpectomy and is doing chemo.
I’m not sending you a picture of my boobs right now!
peoples, when Twisty posts the total, I think we should try to match (at least)- dealio?
Don’t those patriarchal preverts know that tits are for tots?
Here isn’t a picture of mine.
De-lurking for the second time, without my boobs!
You really are the adorable ones. I love you all.
Not only am I not sending you a shot of my bosom, I am witholding a picture of my beloved cousins half bosom.
Twisty I respect your wish not to slam any other fund raiser. But you have to know about this.
Barbie Shows Her Support For Breast Cancer
Mattel Has Partnered With The Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation
Check google news. I don’t want to link this.
No photo of my boobs is sent with this message. However, my huge personal regard for you has gone entirely off the top of the means of measuring such things.
Twisty, you are indeed the best — and in return I send you my best boobless non-picture
No boobs here, move along please, nothing to see here, folks!
Not me, too on the boob picture front.
Great picture - still took my breath away but in a better way than the picture shortly after the op.
My dad would be laughing heartily at the ‘colonathon’ suggestion - he died of rectal cancer, and this would have just appealed to his weird sense of humour.
I am a bit grossed out at one idea though = the ‘Dick Cheney wearing Nipple Rings’ image - just eeww. (Mind you, the images on that 70s website from your last post are quite disturbing too, although the mushroom shaped lamp looked very familiar).
Twisty - keep on blaming.
Pony, you made my head explode. While I clean my studio carpet, can you just tell me if they’re going to make some post-mastectomy fashion dolls? How ’bout Uniboob Barbie complete with staples, drain and an assortment of things to cover her chemo-bald head? Will they come in different “skin” colors, or will they all be relentlessly white and dressed in pink?
Gah.
Another Sybermom here, not showing her tits. For once.
Mark me down for another no-boobeh.
Your words almost cause me to swoon, Twisty.
Pinko Punko: yup, excellent idea. Put me down for $20.
No New Hampshire boobies for you, Twisty! A shame, too, for it is peak season up here! :)
No photo of my boobs coming.
i told my daughter about this campaign on the ride to school, and she thought it was great. i’ll show her later, but sign her up for no boobage photos, too.
and pinko punko — great idea about matching.
go to http://www.bcaction.org/Pages/Membership/Donate.html and press the “donate now” button. there is another site doing collections [network for good], and catch this, you can do a **dedication** to “twisty faster.”
Sara that booblectomy doll sounds like something Sparkle*Matrix would ace.
It’s Yom Kippur; today, all those of Jewish persuasion must refrain from consumption. In keeping with that tradition, I hereby send you no delicious photos of my delicious breasts.
Pony* up fifty cents for me, because here’s a picture of my one big boob.
* Hi, Pony!
Beautiful dog, with one sweet smile. But geez. Those EARS.
Hi Chris. ; )
No boobs from me, I promise!
Hey Twisty, that’s an exquisitely fine port you have there. If I don’t send a picture of my redhawt sexybot mediport, will you toss a buck over to the the Lymphoma Research Foundation? Thanks, nice job.
Hey look! It’s not my boobs!
OK, now, nobody take this personally, or as a criticism or anything! I am making no pronouncements about feminism! Whatsoever! But I have never been able to bring myself to call my breasts boobs, tits, my “rack”, or anything variation thereof, although I find it highly entertaining when y’all do it, and entirely appropriate in this context.
Any.
Hi, vibrating liz, and I hope you are doing well!
No shot of my rack, either (and I’m with Pinko Punko on the matching-Twisty-train, although I may not be able to dig up an equal match so much as kick it up a cup-size).
I almost did it! But no, I will not send any pictures of my boobies. I’m selfish like that.
Fortunately I read this post just before clicking that ’send’ button to fling a photo of my boobs in your general direction. Thank you for saving me from myself.
Count me in! Attached please do not find a picture of my boobs.
Just say no to boob shots.
Thanks for your post.
I’m sending you lots of respect and good regards, Twisty, and sending no breast photos to the, er, Boobie-thon.
Now I’m so sad. If they aren’t worth looking at, they aren’t worth saving???? What does that mean???
Well, no boobs attached, not even these I’ve had for 50 years.
No photos for you, my pretty. And none from Miss Patsy, neither.
yrs, B. Dagger Lee
There are infinite moments as I type this comment in which I am not sending you boobie pictures. I’ll only hold you to the one dollar, though.
Registering and de-lurking to say “Check out my boobs!”
Or, you know, DON’T. On account of I’m not sending a picture.
shit, i usually get paid a lot more than $1 to not show my boobs. but what the hell, since it’s in the name of charity… here are not my breasts.
I’m late to the party, as usual. No picture of my tits either. But I am sending you and your readers a link to Think Before You Pink campaign, another project of Breast Cancer Action.
Delurked and registered, just for this occasion.
…. No boobs for you!
I forgot how you feel about the ellipsis, and it doesn’t seem to want to let me edit. I meant no harm by the ellipsis! But you still won’t get to see my boobs.
I’d love to not show you my boobies.
AND ANOTHER THING….this Sybermom isn’t posting her rack either. Nope, nope, no way. Nuh-uh. Forget it, missy.
Knock Knock
Who’s There?
Not a picture of my boobs.
Just so long as Lance Armstrong doesn’t follow suit with a site of his own, we will be okay.
BTW, I won’t send you any udderpics, either. Promise.
If I even tried to take a picture of my nekkid chest, my tits’d reach right the fuck out and crush the camera out of sheer rage. I’d rather not get my camera crushed.
yep. not showing them.
registered just for this.
while I’m here: thank you for everything twisty, you are my reality check. and all y’all commenters keep me up to snuff as well.
I’m sending in a picture of a pair of boobs but they’re not my boobs thus I’m still included in the count, yes?
No boobs. That’s it. No boobs at all.
No floppy sandnigga titties for you! No no! Boobs be gone!!
There are two Laras here? Does registration not prevent that?
the original Lara, this space has been left boobless intentionally
Nope, no boobie pics here.
Me too, no picture being sent.
“A special huzzah to the commenters, and two extra ones to the delurkers”
What a great time to delurk: I get to not send a picture of my boobs and/or a picture of my mom’s uniboob. And for that I get two extra special huzzahs from Twisty!!
Twisty, you are my hero. I’ve been reading you forever but for THIS I delurk and keep my boobies to myself. Don’t worry about my dollar, I’m donating 20 in your name.
Delurking to say that I’ve got no nekkid boobie pictures for you.
Also: you rock. This is the best blog ever.
Another temporary delurker keeping all boobal pics to herself.
What my boobs and my camera do in the privacy of their own home is none of your business, Twisty. You ain’t seein’ any of my tits.
I will say, though, that your pic is more cautionary, more compelling, and likely way better than what we’d be paying $50 to see if we joined the feckless pink-ribbon consumers. So I’m clicking your site heartily, and sending over some bucks of my own. Boobless bucks, in fact.
Hi Twisty. I’m here from Redneck Mother. No boobie pictures though.
Thanks for the opportunity not to post my boobs anywhere on the internet. Good work!
Twisty, you rock. I have always dreamed of not sending you a picture of my boobs, and now my life is complete! Thank you.
I’m clickin’ in for a buck! This is actually a great way to get some money donated for research toward prevention. You rock, Twisty.
Women are worth saving.
This is so unlike me; the deadline is midnight, so I have hours to procrastinate. For this special challenge, however, I am ActionBoobWoman and just gave my $20 to BCA in Twisty’s name. I’ll spare you the photo, however.
Not sending any Canadian boobs your way today.
Oh and hey, have you seen this meme? I should’ve tagged Twisty…