R1gOr, which older generation are you from? The WWII “greatest” generation or the greater generation, who was separated from them by a major gap?

Sweety, these men aren’t sacrificing their dignity by wearing high heels (if they are, then women sacrifice their dignity every day). Don’t you see? By mocking women’s footwear they are heroes out to save the damsels in distress.

Now…

Unless my abusers are actually convicted or, for that matter, any abuser is convicted and properly punished before he kills his “significant other”, then these “cute” attempts to raise awareness mean shit. They are empty promises peddled by the patriarchy to make itself feel and look good.

Also, if demanding real results makes me a bitch then I’ll happily call myself one. Better to be a bitch against the patriarchy then be a bitch of the patriarchy.

what’s a “racial faction?” Does r1g0r mean the civil rights movement? As a fellow-older-generation-eer, I trust his moral convictions were engaged with that while it was going on?

Lord, lord, the pouting and whining of the privileged… you can’t shame them. The only thing that produces even a small change in conduct (not attitudes, the hell with attitudes) is fear.

Another very important point is that physical violence is only a small part of what we define as “domestic abuse”. Its a pattern of behavior that may or may not include shoves, punches or strangulation, but always involves emotional and verbal forms of violence, as well as some form of controlling behavior. My father was for years very emotionally abusive towards my mother, but would never have dreamed, I’m sure, of laying a hand on her or us kids. So needless to say, this is another huge area for misunderstanding, confusion, and self-deception on the part of both the abuser and the victim, as well as society at large.

My own feeling is that the dynamics of domestic violence are not some freak occurence in society, but are written into the patriarchal DNA, and have been to some extent or other a feature of male/female relationships (as well as other kinds) since time immemorial. “Raising consciouness” about d.v. then is not just about black eyes, but about the ground rules of the patriarchy itself.

“people who are not perpetrators are not the problem. Nor can they necessarily stop someone who is.”

You can’t stop someone who’s determined to lie to themselves from doing so. On the other hand, two of the major factors in abusers taking responsibity for themselves and getting treatment are 1.) awareness that such treatment exists, and 2.) recognition within the community, and disapproval of what they’re doing. The studies that’ve been done show that public attitudes are EXTREMELY important in this regard, for both perpetrators and victims.

Beg pardon- is that really the best you can do, cycles, at paraphasing the arguments I put forth above? I have more faith in your reading comprehension abilities than that!! Why don’t give it another try, reading as slowly and taking as much time as you find necessary; and return here with a response that has some relationship to what I actually said. It won’t be that hard, I promise you.

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has anybody given thought to the fact that many women have clamored for attention for every wrong ever done them (similar to some racial factions), yet refuse to accept when the attempt is made by AT LEAST a vocal minority to help bring attention to these same issues.

even at the expense of that group’s dignity. let’s be honest here. any group of guys parading about in heels has the same chance of retaining their “cool” as the proverbial snowball.

they did this to try to help. they did this in public, in front of news cameras.

when was the last time YOU sacrificed YOUR dignity (or anything else, for that matter) to TRY to help another person.

most likely, never.

i believe the operative phrase here is: BITCH, BITCH, BITCH!

if you can’t be bothered to do something to help correct the problem, don’t belittle those that will! i give many cool points to these guys for trying and for caring.

but then, i do belong to an older generation. one that was very vocal about their moral convictions. this probably makes all the difference in the world.

The cattle prod must be just out of the frame in that photo.

*No offense intended to any self-avowed hipsters out there, but my tolerance of hipsterhood’s anarchy-lite (’revolution is tight pants and ironic haircuts’) is pretty low these days.