Dec 07 2006

Rape is logical

I’m sure that if 4 months of chemotherapy hadn’t melted my poetical lobe, I’d be able to lyrically compare this photograph to the post below with satisfactory results.

I enjoyed this comment at Pandagon (discussing the UNH/Fark imbeciles) so much I am ripping most of it off.

Quoth dr ngo:

1) “Normally adjusted” women do not “submit” to sex, but [presumably] welcome it with open arms. (Legs?)

2) “Uptight” (maladjusted/abnormal) women do not welcome sex. They can and should, therefore, be forced to “submit” to “phallic power,” which they resist. [BECAUSE . . .]

3) [. . . TACIT] . . . Once exposed to this phallic power, they will no longer resist sex, and thus no longer be required to “submit” to it, but instead will welcome it with open limbs, like “normal” women.

While we may deplore the philosophy, we must, I think, admire its internal logic. By it, any man may (should?) have sex with any woman whenever he feels like it, since either (a) she is normal, and thus will enjoy it, OR (b) she is uptight, and should be forced to submit, and thus learn to enjoy it. It’s Win-Win-Win!

It would appear that dr ngo has succinctified, in language even an unfunny woman feminist can understand, a popular rationalization for the notion that all women need the dick.


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  1. Can’t argue with science. But really now, since women don’t have the credibility organ that efficiently decides whether or not a person can ever have an intelligent thought, we really shouldn’t be worrying our pretty little heads about this.

  2. sashaundercover.blogspot.com

    I’m relieved to discern you are discussing dick as in male appendage. Were you discussing dick as in Cheney I might be even more horrified.

  3. Well, the picture shows the horse’s head, whereas…

  4. faultline.org

    rootless beat me to it.

  5. hattie.typepad.com/hatties_web

    Hmm. This is all so strange. I never really thought I had a duty to have sex with men whenever they wanted it. I kind of thought that was up to me. That is, it was my understanding that I would have sex when I wanted it.
    However, I do know women who think men are entitled to sex when they want it. Furthermore, they believe that men are entitled to have unprotected sex. Needless to say, they have more kids than I do. These kids are not necessarily cared for or financially supported by the men whom the women believe have the right to have unprotected sex with them, however.
    I sometimes despair of our species.

  6. The system is designed so that those who cooperate are trained to feel genuine disapproval for those who don’t, thus preventing dissent from the bottom up. *That* is some logical thought.

    It is necessary to believe that the “failures” of the system would be happier if they were back in it. If they were happier *out* of the system, it would throw the whole inherent worth of the system into jeopardy. People would implode. The whole hierarchy would disintegrate. Painfully. Probably very violently.

    Rape logic is just a facet of that. “Failures” are threats. They have to be reminded of what they want. Of what everyone should want.

    And that is most certainly the graces of cockhood.

  7. I too appreciated dr ngo’s comment. It reminded me of the bodice rippers my grandmother used to read, as well as the ‘true adventure’ my extremely ex husband read, back in the early sixties. What do you want to bet there is still plenty of that goofy crap making the rounds among the younger set. Although, I suppose, so much of the mythology is mainstream misogeny now the market may have dried up.

  8. How odd and wonderful it is that the comment from ghostorchid helped me understand what I am missing in the SciFi novel I am writing about a post patriarchal world of the future.
    How I love Twisty and the blaming sanity all of you bring to my daily life.
    Thank you ghostorchid; I bow to your superior blaming acuity.

  9. My husband had to endure a talk by this particular twit: http://www.pureloveclub.com

    He spent an inordinate amount of time telling men how to control themselves and girls how to be modest so men would be able to control themselves.

    In 90+ minutes of misogyny and misinformation, girls were never, ever credited with having sexuality of their own to master. They were charged with being passive keepers of what ONE man would eventually own, and put in charge of helping men to not just take it from them. Sex was presented as something saved for a future husband if you were female, and somethingn to be fought off if you were male. Men were the agents of sexuality who would do anything to get a woman to degrade herself – not that they might actually ENJOY it themselves, ever.

    Check the link, but bring a barf bag. A kinder, gentler theory of Teh Superdick, posing as The Allmighty One Patriarch For You!

  10. Hello, blamers. I have had an evening chock-full of frustration reading the spew about DaCosta’s article. I’ve been following the comment thread since yesterday, and it took some new turns. The “deep-dicking” proponents mostly dropped out, only to be replaced by the more insidious NiceGuys. One in particular, Chris, said he thought the comments were funny. He planned to send them to his two women friends who had been raped, sure that they too would indulge in some belly-laughs at the deep-dicking, hard-fucking, baseball-bat assaulting images invoked. Finally, I’d had it. I spent an inordinately long time trying to wrap my brain around what was happening and formulate a response, and I eventually came up with something that made sense to me. When I tried to post, however, I kept getting error messages. Upon investigation, the article seems to have been taken off-line.

    But, ya see, I gots this blaming I really gots to do.

    As a result, I decided to post here. I know this is long, for which I apologize, but I feel better knowing actual people will read this. As a final note, please keep in mind that this was written for an audience of NiceGuys, not for seasoned Blamers.

    * * *

    To those of you who articulated so well why the words of many men in the comments were so disturbing:

    thank you.

    To all the NiceGuys (especially Chris) who suggest that women have read too much into the violent, hateful comments posted:

    How can you say such a thing in good conscience? Why would a supposedly pro-feminist man (or, if it makes you more comfortable: “Man Concerned about Women Having Rights and Being Safe”) claim that these comments–which include the proposition of violently sexually assaulting a woman with a baseball bat–amuse you? Mel just collected and reposted a bunch of the ones that were particularly disturbing, so go back if you want a quick recap of the more chilling ones.

    Here’s the thing, NiceGuys–A part of me really wants to believe real “nice guys” exist. Really. I want to believe that there are men in my life, in my city, in my world, that believe violent oppression of anyone is unacceptable. I want to believe that these same men can look at the verbal sludge being slung at the author of this article and see recognize it as a manifestation of the violent oppression of women by a patriarchal system. I want to believe that they can also see that, within this system, these individual men are ganging up to suppress the voice of one individual woman with explicit and implied threats of violence. At this moment, the content of the poster that sparked all this is irrelevant to me. The suggestion has been made by several posters that we have more important issues to address than whether or not a safe-sex poster could have been better-designed. Okay. How’s about we start with the putrid verbal filth that has been laid out for us?

    I get that you are Nice. I get that you think rape is not good. I get that you have felt hurt or angry when women in your life have been beaten, degraded, and used by men who thought it was okay to hit, sexually assault, and rape them. What I don’t get is the disconnect that happens despite all that, how you didn’t understand why a woman would read the comments posted on this thread as threatening. As an earlier commenter said, we need you to understand that when we say we feel threatened, we feel threatened. Whether or not you think we ought to is irrelevant. How do so many NiceGuys caution us so sincerely about not walking alone and about watching our drink at a party–believing that we women need to be aware of the fact that we are in danger from men who would hurt us–then turn around to tell us that they actually thought comments like the ones on this forum were “funny?” Because we women so often experience or witness sexual objectification, degradation, and abuse, we are very tuned to the language that accompanies or precedes it.

    NiceGuys, this next bit may be hard for you to read. Please, read it. Read it and let it sink in before you get defensive and block it. Here’s the thing: if these comments honestly tickle your sense of humor, I find you just as dangerous as the man who would rape me. You are participating in a culture that encourages violent attitudes against women. Not only do you not speak out against threats and hate speech like the examples on this board, but you laugh. I’ll give you the benefit of a doubt here–perhaps it’s funny to you because it seems absurd. I mean, after all, who actually SAYS this stuff? Who actually DOES stuff like that? You know it happens, NiceGuys, but because you don’t do it, it’s off your radar. It’s not real, and it’s laughable.

    Let’s clarify something: Men do actually beat, degrade, and rape women. Let’s also clarify that rapes include raping a date/girlfriend/wife who has asked to stop sex play, as well as rapes of the “she was so drunk” variety. That adjustment expands the field of rapists far beyond the skeevy stranger hulking in the alley. Hopefully it doesn’t expand it to you, NiceGuys, but it certainly extends it to someone you know, and possibly to someone you know very well. Rapists and abusers will not be swayed by women telling them that their behavior is unacceptable–they have demonstrated that they don’t believe women deserve agency or control in their own lives, so it is obvious that a woman has zero say in the way any man lives his life. To have any impact on the sickening rape/abuse statistics, men who are supposed to be on our side need to stop laughing when other men suggest silencing a woman with a “good fuck”–the kind of fuck that sounds an awful lot like rape. Imagine the angrier comments to this article being delivered face-to-face, Dude to DaCosta. Do you still find it funny? Chris, you claim that rape and the fallout from rape are horrific and devastating. How then can you justify sitting back and chuckling at the mindset and the language that encourage the rapists among us to act?

    On a semi-related note, one last thing before I go: I’m really tired of hearing guys lament that women don’t want a NiceGuy(tm). Several years ago, I used to say y’all were wrong, that loads of women wanted NiceGuys, including me. Oh, how the times have changed. Granted, I can’t speak for anyone else, but I can tell you that as far as I’m concerned, you’re absolutely right–I’ll pass on the NiceGuy(tm). See, I want more than a non-hitting, non-raping male who is a good listener and brings me flowers sometimes. I want a man with wisdom and compassion and convictions and strength, as well as the ability to live out the noble ideals he professes to believe. Drop the NiceGuy thing, men. It’s time to upgrade.

  11. MATH IS HARD *giggle*


  12. hedonisticpleasureseeker.wordpress.com

    How precious: Their logic includes the supposition that we consider them sexually attractive in the first place (what part of “You are yukky, so I throw rocks at you” don’t they understand?).

    Women start out at NO and MAKE EXCEPTIONS for individuals. Obviously OUR logic has escaped them.

  13. joolya.blogspot.com

    Funny how he just ASSUMES nay lady would welcome HIM with open whatevers . . . By this logic, if Margaret Thatcher showed up at Dr NGO’s house with the English Rugby team, held him down, and climbed astride his man-parts, he ought to be ready to stay hard and give her a good seeing-to – after all, her limbs were wide open and if he were a “normal” man he’d be all about the pussy! Any pussy! All the time! No Rugby lads required to hold the bastard down (or fluff him)!

  14. Loorol, that was very eloquently put. I’ve never really been able to articulate what can be so unsettling about a “NiceGuy.” Other than to simply say that so many NiceGuys really aren’t.

  15. joolya.blogspot.com

    Just read Dr NGO’s comment – so the Maggie Thatcher comment is only sort of directed at him, as he was only paraphrasing someone else’s comment, I assume sarcastically.

  16. While you’re in the neighborhood, joolya, whyn’tcha visit Christopher Hitchens with Maggie Thatcher & the Rugby Team (hey! band name!) as well?

  17. I second Sylvanite’s assessment, Loorol: eloquent and clear summation; thank you.

  18. joolya.blogspot.com

    Ha – the “Hitch” would probably get a kick out of it, though. He’s totally secretly in love with Mags. And, quite possibly, with the rugger lads.

  19. While it is a vulgar sentiment to even have to contemplate, the “rape is logical” scenario has been seen in other forms, including in Naomi Wolf’s The Beauty Myth, in which the author postulates:

    “What is happening now is that men and women whose private psycho-sexual history would not lead them to eroticize sexual violence are *learning* from such scenes to be interested in it.”

    And that leads to this:

    “Cultural representation of glamorized degradation has created a situation among the young in which boys rape and girls get raped *as a normal course of events*.”

    And there, my fellow Blamers, is the problem. Not only is it “logical,” but it’s also “normal” because of the tidal wave of degradation presented in “sexual” imagery today. The little jerks over at Fark are saying what they are saying to Ms. DaCosta because, for them, it is as normal and natural a behaviour as putting on a pair of shoes before going outside. They receive so many stimulae in the course of a day that gives them, and then reinforces, the belief that women exist only to receive such comments from men. And that is the truly tragic thing in all of this: it’s become “normal” to say such hurtful, awful things to a woman simply for expressing an opinion on the internet.

  20. Sylvanite and johnieb–

    Thanks! I’m new to public blaming forums. I decided to post here because I’ve spent the better part of this year reading comments here that stop me in my tracks and make me think, “Yeah, that’s exactly what bothers me about that.”

    So, wait–I did that for someone else?



  1. Feminist Law Professors » Blog Archive » Rape Threats As Silencers: Not Working

    […] Update 2d: See also Rape is Logical at I Blame the Patriarchy. […]

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