Amananta, I’ve had that same experience with more or less all of that group. I know exactly what you’re talking about. I figure the nerve hit had to be one of Twisty’s shots about analyzing one’s choices to do what one has to do. In this case, you know, I kind of suspect the things done with such glee—-bashing other feminists the way guys bash women who won’t go out with them—–are undertaken precisely because they offer a chance at both business and pleasure: lots of sound and fury, and maybe some higher blog rankings, along with the personal satisfaction of being passive aggressive. It’s one of those classic stereotypes of women that are so treacherous and so easy to go along with. That’s the thing: going along with the patriachy is so damned easy. It’s rewarding. It saves you a lot of shit. But I’ll be damned if I can figure out how it’s some kind of rebellion.

We all have to make decisions about what we do to get along every day. But it’s kind of interesting how some people just won’t budge that far, and won’t compromise, and how others go the opposite route–appeasement all the way, called some kind of rebellion. Any woman who tosses strawfeminists around with more enthusiasm than she fights them is not helping other women—but she sure is helping the men. Women who use other women—who bash other women who actually are doing some fighting—-those women are making things hard for women, not helping them.

nobody’s ever said something to you/about you/about your friends that you thought was out of line, misinformed, just-not-true? you don’t remember how that felt?

it’s not for you to determine when I should “get over it”. just as it’s not for me to determine when you should “get over it”, whatever “it” is for you.

I mean, she can speak for herself, so if you’re curious you could ask her. That would be the grownup thing to do.