Hey girls. Wanna make a buck in a man’s world without having to rub your tits in anyone’s face? How about this: charge men a fee — say $795 a month — for explaining to them the mysterious, bizarre ways of women, so that these men may then make a buck off the women, thus completing the cycle of capitalist patriarchal control.
Take the manly, sweaty, short-sleeved world of auto sales.
It seems that ‘traditional’ methods of salesmanship, such as asking the female customer to bend over and wait for it, are no longer working quite as well as they used to. Confounded salesdudes may now turn to AskPatty.com.
AskPatty.com isn’t just a handy website of “automotive advice for women.” Here men , too, may take advantage of the perpetually shocking information that women actually buy cars by learning from an actual fake woman (‘Patty’ appears not to exist, at least in human form) how to communicate with the alien sub-species. AskPatty.com sells car dealers a book called How to Get Rich Selling Cars and Trucks to Women, a training course, and an exam. Dealers who pass the exam get ‘certified’ as ‘female-friendly’.
Where are all these alleged autodudes who pay AskPatty.com $795 a month for certification proving that they are conversant in women-as-a-second-language? I don’t know. A search produced the disheartening result that there are no certified female-friendly auto dealers — not even, alas, Aston Martin, Lotus, or Porsche — within 100 miles of the Twisty Bungalow, or I would certainly have gone out and bought a car just so I could report back on the experience.
Naturally the president of AskPatty.com, Jody DeVere, is quick to aver, lest her bid to be taken seriously in the World of Dudes die the usual lonely death of stifled female opinion, that she is not “a screaming feminist waving [her] finger at auto dealers.”
God forbid the readers of the Clarion-Ledger should think DeVere is one of the Humorless Hairyleg Army. Comfortingly, AskPatty.com was founded by and is currently CEOed by a dude.