Comments on: Perfunctory BDSM comment of the week http://blog.iblamethepatriarchy.com/2007/01/25/perfunctory-bdsm-comment-of-the-week/ Thu, 09 Feb 2012 12:39:46 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Twisty http://blog.iblamethepatriarchy.com/2007/01/25/perfunctory-bdsm-comment-of-the-week/#comment-188477 Twisty Mon, 16 Jan 2012 17:29:10 +0000 http://blog.iblamethepatriarchy.com/2007/01/25/perfunctory-bdsm-comment-of-the-week/#comment-188477 Well if you're gonna resonate, I'm gonna reverberate. Well if you’re gonna resonate, I’m gonna reverberate.

]]> By: riverrealm http://blog.iblamethepatriarchy.com/2007/01/25/perfunctory-bdsm-comment-of-the-week/#comment-188419 riverrealm Sun, 15 Jan 2012 23:58:29 +0000 http://blog.iblamethepatriarchy.com/2007/01/25/perfunctory-bdsm-comment-of-the-week/#comment-188419 I resonate with Octogalore's comment, which I read as people trying to fit in with "the cool kids," whomever they may be in the circumstances-- perhaps whomever holds what is construed to be the majority opinion/interpretation of whatever is being discussed. "I wonder whether conformity to femininity in “real life” and conformity to the leadership viewpoint on a radfem site are two sides of the same coin: adapting to one’s environment out of a desire to fit in with the “cool kids,” wherever they may be." In my personal experience, I feel this to be true; I've encountered toxicity beyond measure amongst "feminist" groups as well as in patriarchal corporate-type environments. I believe that there is a human (beyond gender) inclination to want to fit in and be part of some group, and that the vast majority of people are truly afraid or unable to think for themselves and therefore will strive to conform in whatever environment they find themselves. The heated reactions to Octogalore's comment (I do not consider them "catty/bitchy" nor "sarcastic/witty"-- just thoughtlessly emotionally heated, as if a nerve has been touched in a way that happens when truth is recognized on some level of consciousness and the ego desperately tries to cover it up). Although there are cases where somebody may be killed or beaten for non-compliance, in many parts of the United States, the 'penalties' are not that harsh. Why is social stigmatization so scary? It will not kill you. The US is truly the land of opportunity and there are other possibilities out there if you don't comply to the patriarchy or any other group illusion/delusion. It's a question of de-programming oneself from needing any form of outside approval whatsoever. I resonate with Octogalore’s comment, which I read as people trying to fit in with “the cool kids,” whomever they may be in the circumstances– perhaps whomever holds what is construed to be the majority opinion/interpretation of whatever is being discussed.

“I wonder whether conformity to femininity in “real life” and conformity to the leadership viewpoint on a radfem site are two sides of the same coin: adapting to one’s environment out of a desire to fit in with the “cool kids,” wherever they may be.”

In my personal experience, I feel this to be true; I’ve encountered toxicity beyond measure amongst “feminist” groups as well as in patriarchal corporate-type environments. I believe that there is a human (beyond gender) inclination to want to fit in and be part of some group, and that the vast majority of people are truly afraid or unable to think for themselves and therefore will strive to conform in whatever environment they find themselves. The heated reactions to Octogalore’s comment (I do not consider them “catty/bitchy” nor “sarcastic/witty”– just thoughtlessly emotionally heated, as if a nerve has been touched in a way that happens when truth is recognized on some level of consciousness and the ego desperately tries to cover it up).

Although there are cases where somebody may be killed or beaten for non-compliance, in many parts of the United States, the ‘penalties’ are not that harsh. Why is social stigmatization so scary? It will not kill you. The US is truly the land of opportunity and there are other possibilities out there if you don’t comply to the patriarchy or any other group illusion/delusion. It’s a question of de-programming oneself from needing any form of outside approval whatsoever.

]]> By: “Hip, hip, hooray for BDSM!” Comment Excerpt of the Week at I Blame The Patriarchy http://blog.iblamethepatriarchy.com/2007/01/25/perfunctory-bdsm-comment-of-the-week/#comment-154176 “Hip, hip, hooray for BDSM!” Comment Excerpt of the Week at I Blame The Patriarchy Mon, 28 Sep 2009 19:14:35 +0000 http://blog.iblamethepatriarchy.com/2007/01/25/perfunctory-bdsm-comment-of-the-week/#comment-154176 [...] _________________________ * If you’re new to I Blame the Patriarchy, you may not be aware of the spinster aunt’s long and colorful tradition of mocking the corny BDSM lifestyle. I am unapologetic in my impatience with arguments in praise of this ridiculous dude-centric fetish; some of my ancient remarks on the subject can be found here and here. [...] [...] _________________________ * If you’re new to I Blame the Patriarchy, you may not be aware of the spinster aunt’s long and colorful tradition of mocking the corny BDSM lifestyle. I am unapologetic in my impatience with arguments in praise of this ridiculous dude-centric fetish; some of my ancient remarks on the subject can be found here and here. [...]

]]> By: a http://blog.iblamethepatriarchy.com/2007/01/25/perfunctory-bdsm-comment-of-the-week/#comment-154153 a Sun, 27 Sep 2009 15:46:00 +0000 http://blog.iblamethepatriarchy.com/2007/01/25/perfunctory-bdsm-comment-of-the-week/#comment-154153 I find your broad categoraization of BDSM to be rather narrow minded. It takes great strength to be a submissive. Submission is a choice, a gift to that submissive's Dominant. In life I am my Dominants equal. In the bedroom I CHOOSE to hand over control because that is what makes me happy. I make descisions that impact us both on a daily basis. It is twisted and quite rude to act as though submissives are less than those who are not. In my experience, Dominants find no joy in dominating the weak. There's no point. If BDSM makes the men and women involved in it happy,and it is all consensual, then who are you to judge? And yes, I did begin my post with "I" because I am expressing my opinions. If you have a problem with that, there is always the delete button. I also realize this is an old thread, but obviously you need something to do so I'm sure you will read this. I find your broad categoraization of BDSM to be rather narrow minded.
It takes great strength to be a submissive. Submission is a choice, a gift to that submissive’s Dominant. In life I am my Dominants equal. In the bedroom I CHOOSE to hand over control because that is what makes me happy. I make descisions that impact us both on a daily basis. It is twisted and quite rude to act as though submissives are less than those who are not. In my experience, Dominants find no joy in dominating the weak. There’s no point. If BDSM makes the men and women involved in it happy,and it is all consensual, then who are you to judge? And yes, I did begin my post with “I” because I am expressing my opinions. If you have a problem with that, there is always the delete button. I also realize this is an old thread, but obviously you need something to do so I’m sure you will read this.

]]> By: Femininity hurts « Urocyon’s Meanderings http://blog.iblamethepatriarchy.com/2007/01/25/perfunctory-bdsm-comment-of-the-week/#comment-152509 Femininity hurts « Urocyon’s Meanderings Thu, 30 Jul 2009 15:41:24 +0000 http://blog.iblamethepatriarchy.com/2007/01/25/perfunctory-bdsm-comment-of-the-week/#comment-152509 [...] 3:40 pm I’ve run into yet another unsuspected example recently of how, as Twisty succinctly put it, “Femininity is learned behavior that fucks women up.” This example definitely falls [...] [...] 3:40 pm I’ve run into yet another unsuspected example recently of how, as Twisty succinctly put it, “Femininity is learned behavior that fucks women up.” This example definitely falls [...]

]]> By: dsimms http://blog.iblamethepatriarchy.com/2007/01/25/perfunctory-bdsm-comment-of-the-week/#comment-121045 dsimms Thu, 26 Jun 2008 14:25:49 +0000 http://blog.iblamethepatriarchy.com/2007/01/25/perfunctory-bdsm-comment-of-the-week/#comment-121045 A criticism: you shouldn't use a term like FGM without including a definition of what it means (for example, in parentheses). Moreover, I think, you should always spell out the term "female genital mutilation" for the horror it is. To use an acronym for an outrage is to promote it to a euphemism. The horror of female genital mutilation still continues in many parts of the world and should be opposed on all levels, including our language. I realize bizarre forms of FGM are now being initiated by Western women on a voluntary basis, but we should never forget that for the majority of mutilated women worldwide, this is a painful, dangerous, barbaric, involuntary practice forced on them by an uncaring patriarchy. I mean no offense. But many around the world are fighting today to rid us of this insanity. Let's hope one day it will be an archaic practice, like testing for witches by drowning innocent women. A criticism: you shouldn’t use a term like FGM without including a definition of what it means (for example, in parentheses). Moreover, I think, you should always spell out the term “female genital mutilation” for the horror it is. To use an acronym for an outrage is to promote it to a euphemism.

The horror of female genital mutilation still continues in many parts of the world and should be opposed on all levels, including our language. I realize bizarre forms of FGM are now being initiated by Western women on a voluntary basis, but we should never forget that for the majority of mutilated women worldwide, this is a painful, dangerous, barbaric, involuntary practice forced on them by an uncaring patriarchy.

I mean no offense. But many around the world are fighting today to rid us of this insanity. Let’s hope one day it will be an archaic practice, like testing for witches by drowning innocent women.

]]> By: dogging http://blog.iblamethepatriarchy.com/2007/01/25/perfunctory-bdsm-comment-of-the-week/#comment-98392 dogging Fri, 04 Jan 2008 14:22:06 +0000 http://blog.iblamethepatriarchy.com/2007/01/25/perfunctory-bdsm-comment-of-the-week/#comment-98392 Dr.Gary Wood also discusses how a major part of how men are taught from the time they are very little boys,is to reject and put down anything that the sexist male dominated society defines as “feminine” and that this can cause woman hatred. doubledo@freemail.hu Dr.Gary Wood also discusses how a major part of how men are taught from the time they are very little boys,is to reject and put down anything that the sexist male dominated society defines as “feminine” and that this can cause woman hatred.

doubledo@freemail.hu

]]> By: Carolyn http://blog.iblamethepatriarchy.com/2007/01/25/perfunctory-bdsm-comment-of-the-week/#comment-36673 Carolyn Fri, 16 Feb 2007 15:36:12 +0000 http://blog.iblamethepatriarchy.com/2007/01/25/perfunctory-bdsm-comment-of-the-week/#comment-36673 Dr.Gary Wood also discusses how a major part of how men are taught from the time they are very little boys,is to reject and put down anything that the sexist male dominated society defines as "feminine" and that this can cause woman hatred. Dr.Gary Wood also discusses how a major part of how men are taught from the time they are very little boys,is to reject and put down anything that the sexist male dominated society defines as “feminine” and that this can cause woman hatred.

]]> By: Carolyn http://blog.iblamethepatriarchy.com/2007/01/25/perfunctory-bdsm-comment-of-the-week/#comment-36672 Carolyn Fri, 16 Feb 2007 15:27:03 +0000 http://blog.iblamethepatriarchy.com/2007/01/25/perfunctory-bdsm-comment-of-the-week/#comment-36672 hedonistic, Thank you for appreciating my posts. But I have to tell you that the main poni Dr.Justin Bailey and Dr.Cynthia Fuchs Epstein and many others are making,is the major things that keep the patriarchy in place and continue sexist inequalities is these very deep rooted common sexist gender myths,roles and stereotypes! Also I forgot to mention yesterday another very important excellent book by cognitive social psychologist Dr.Gary Wood from Birmingham University in England called,Sex Lies & Stereotypes:Challenging Views Of Women,Men & Relationships.He also shows from a lot of great research studies that most of the gender differences are pretty small,and that we are far more alike than different and that there are much greater individual people differences found,and he also shows how these socially constructed gender roles and categories are very limiting to both sexes and only allow us to become half of a person instead of full human people and how this causes problems in relationships between men and women. hedonistic,

Thank you for appreciating my posts. But I have to tell you that the main poni Dr.Justin Bailey and Dr.Cynthia Fuchs Epstein and many others are making,is the major things that keep the patriarchy in place and continue sexist inequalities is these very deep rooted common sexist gender myths,roles and stereotypes!

Also I forgot to mention yesterday another very important excellent book by cognitive social psychologist Dr.Gary Wood from Birmingham University in England called,Sex Lies & Stereotypes:Challenging Views Of Women,Men & Relationships.He also shows from a lot of great research studies that most of the gender differences are pretty small,and that we are far more alike than different and that there are much greater individual people differences found,and he also shows how these socially constructed gender roles and categories are very limiting to both sexes and only allow us to become half of a person instead of full human people and how this causes problems in relationships between men and women.

]]> By: hedonistic http://blog.iblamethepatriarchy.com/2007/01/25/perfunctory-bdsm-comment-of-the-week/#comment-36657 hedonistic Fri, 16 Feb 2007 13:17:29 +0000 http://blog.iblamethepatriarchy.com/2007/01/25/perfunctory-bdsm-comment-of-the-week/#comment-36657 Hi Carolyn, Thank you for posting all that; I'm certain there are folks reading at this site who've not learned of it already (I have). However, you're arguing against a point neither Octogalore nor I ever made. Neither of us stated, or even inferred, that men and women are more different than alike. Acknowledging differences between the sexes does not have to equal some moral justification or apology for sexism. After all, if men and women were EXACTLY alike there would be no patriarchy to blame. Hi Carolyn,

Thank you for posting all that; I’m certain there are folks reading at this site who’ve not learned of it already (I have). However, you’re arguing against a point neither Octogalore nor I ever made. Neither of us stated, or even inferred, that men and women are more different than alike.

Acknowledging differences between the sexes does not have to equal some moral justification or apology for sexism. After all, if men and women were EXACTLY alike there would be no patriarchy to blame.

]]>