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Feb 20 2007

Pervwatch ’07

compu_dude.jpg
Dude checking out internet porn. Hotel San Jose, Austin. February 2007. You can count on me to watch the voyeurs!

Let us now consider a wanker who got canned for consummating his relationship with internet porn while at work. Of course dudes pornulate at work all the time, and doubtless a certain percentage get canned for it, but what makes this chappie somewhat remarkable is that he’s suing his former employer, IBM, claiming that he’s an internet porn addict and that this affliction should be recognized under the Americans with Disabilities Act.

My blaming time is limited today, so I can’t plumb the hilarity-depths of this vulgar absurdity to the degree it deserves, but I invite you to contemplate this tableau: thousands of internet porn addicts, their incontinent depravity happily re-designated as a “disability,” enjoying ADA-mandated broadband wanking stations in all public buildings. Also, because these unfortunates must jerk off using imagery of degraded women in order to live, the law mandates the production of porn, recasting pornographers as medical suppliers and porn actors as comfort women.

[Thanks Shannon]

53 comments

  1. vera

    Is there a porn equivalent of methadone?

  2. Jane Dark

    Hmmm, I wonder if I could file a claim for a disability induced by severe allergies to the patriarchy.

  3. D.O. Doksi

    For a long time now I have been wondering, what, exactly, is the official Twisty take on the popular television series “Gilmore Girls”. I have searched the archives but The Big Question remains unaddressed.

  4. Laurel

    you know when you were a kid and your parents would wake you up for the 5th time for schoool and you’d say, half-asleep with closed eyes, “but mom, this is how I wake up”?

  5. nine

    What if you were a parapalegic with this “disorder”? Wonder if you could get one of those canine companions to “help” with your “disability”….

  6. norbizness

    Vera: The Sears Catalog?

  7. mearl

    Here is what I re-read over a noodly luncheon:

    “One man’s sexual freedom is another man’s – or woman’s, or child’s – sexual thraldom. The first tenet of sexual freedom is that any kind of bizarre behaviour is legitimate if the aim is orgasm. Men who nail each other’s foreskins to breadboards are not to be criticized or ridiculed, still less humiliated or punished. An individual who gets his kicks by shoving live hamsters into his rectum must not be reviled, though he may be prosecuted for cruelty to animals. Political correctness forbids me to identify such a paraphiliac as male but if he turns out to be female I’ll eat the hamster. The sexuality that has been freed is male sexuality…the legitimization of the hunt for the perfect orgasm has greatly increased the extent and range of prostitution. Whole communities now live on immoral earnings. Czech women students “choose” to give up their studies and work as prostitutes because they can earn in an hour what their professionally qualified mothers are paid in a month. Every day third-world women are smuggled into European countries to serve as sex slaves, with no papers, no identity and no rights.”

    – Germaine Greer, The Whole Woman, 1999

    I have been chewing it over for a couple of months, and have decided that I’m going to Boston (by myself -ack!) for the porn conference at Wheelock College. Anyone else going, or know anything about Boston, or have suggestions about where to stay/ where not to stay, or want to meet up?

  8. Frumious B

    Breadboard? now that’s kinky.

  9. kcb

    Of course dudes pornulate at work all the time

    I’m reminded of the guy driving a contractor van on I-35 in Round Rock one summer day a few years ago, just north of Austin, who was veering in and out of the center lane next to me. I looked over to see if he was obviously drunk, chatting on his phone, or what. No, but he did have a porn mag open to the centerfold and draped over his steering wheel, which he held with one hand while he drove at 70 miles per hour with hardly a glance at the road ahead. Lo tech, but he did manage to tend to his ‘disability’ on company time.

    I couldn’t believe that anyone would be so foolish and selfish as to put his pecker-petting above the safety of his fellow motorists, but I was younger then and didn’t know who to blame.

  10. Pony

    mearl have you left yet? Over at Genderberg there’s a thread about where to stay and who else you’d know that is going. Gone.

  11. TallyCola

    Wtf? Drug addicts don’t get to shoot up at work.
    Do they?

  12. Jorge

    I totally dig the idea of porn producers as purveyors of altnerative medication. That’s a great idea. Do something creative with it!

    Although I’m a guy I make it a point not to take matters in my own hands during office hours and I certainly don’t watch porn at work. I work with high-power geeks and we just don’t do that sort of thing. We obsess over great code and bugs in software. Watching porn, that would be a laugh :).

    Maybe if Twisty sends me a nice picture of her I will… have fond thoughts about her. Yes, that would be good.

  13. Twisty

    Why don’t you stick it in a meat grinder, Jorge?

  14. legallyblondeez

    Re: “Wtf? Drug addicts don’t get to shoot up at work.
    Do they?”

    No, but they sometimes can’t be fired for it–they get a chance to clean up and come back. Mr. Porn-at-work is contesting the fact that they canned his sex-addicted butt, not actually claiming that he should be allowed to continue workday wanking. Both claims are ludicrous, but the first has legal merit *if* porn addiction is recognized as a disability.

    Thanks for the Greer passage, Mearl.

  15. curiousgyrl

    There is a convo re porn over at bitch’s place; the good doctor asked people to stick to talking about porn from women’s perspective. I am sorry to say that that rule has been violated occasionally, and worse that most of the comments are about what women do or dont like to watch as consumers of porn. this stirkes me as the least relevant approach to take in discussing women’s subjectivity and porn, but what do I know.

    The convo could really use some blamers is what I’m tyring to say.

  16. the first born fish

    Haha, meat grinder…

    And as a radical feminist Bostonian I demand to know more about this so called pornography conference. Mostly because it sounds like a delicious way to network with feminists outside the “I -choose- to wear lipstick” feminists of the college sphere…

  17. Radalan

    “I couldn’t believe that anyone would be so foolish and selfish as to put his pecker-petting above the safety of his fellow motorists”

    Funny you should mention it.

    A couple of years ago, I was driving on 183 here in Austin, and I happened to look over at the car to my left. The passenger had a notebook computer sitting on the dashboard, and it was quite obvious that he was watching porn, even from the distance of my car. Given the number of SUV’s and mini-vans with DVD players in them these days, I guess I should have been more surprised that it was the first time I had seen that.

  18. ChapstickAddict

    mearl, thanks for the heads up about the porn conference in Boston, I might just have to go to that (I’m nearby in Worcester). Hopefully by March all the nasty city snow will be melted away (although mud season isn’t that pleasant either).

  19. pisaqauri

    mearl i’ve been thinking about going as well. But I did not know anything about where to stay, etc…Thanks for the extra info Pony.

    Speaking of Porn watchers there is a blog I discovered last night called “porn detective” of a girl who goes and takes photos of men entering/leaving/browsing/working porn shops. This would probably turn most people off due to the invasiveness of it but I thought it pretty bold.
    -Looks like she’d be just as good staking out the regular corporate office instead of forcing herself into patriarchy’s slimy lair. Ick!

  20. Catherine Martell

    The Mighty Germaine, via mearl: “Political correctness forbids me to identify such a paraphiliac as male but if he turns out to be female I’ll eat the hamster.”

    I have rarely laughed out loud when reading a great work of feminist literature, so much as become very angry with the patriarchy. But thank you very much for reminding me of one of the times I did.

    Jorge: you totally got pwned, trollboy.

    Pervwatch ’07: gah. Don’t let the porntards among my fellow Europeans hear about this sick puppy, or we’ll all be paying our tax money to provide sad wankers with porn via our national health services.

  21. edith

    Uhhh … IBTP.

  22. kate

    I’m in NH, but probably can’t go to the conference, which really, really stinks as I’m driving distance away.

  23. Clio Bluestocking

    I worked at a place last year where, when one of the vice-presidents was 10 minutes late for a board meeting, they sent his assistant up to retreive him. She found him, his penis, and his porn, all in flagrante in his office. He was summarily fired; but, it turns out this was not the first time he was caught engaging in such antics at work. It was just the first time that he had been caught by someone who objected. Up until then, the old boys just took the attitude of “boys will be boys, hehe,” and “better be careful or some ball buster might catch you and then we will all be in trouble.”

  24. mearl

    Thanks, Pony! For anyone innarested:

    http://www.wheelock.edu/ppc/

  25. Metal Prophet

    I do think porn use shares some characteristics with drug addiction, but not that it’s some sort of physical need. I also think this guy is full of shit. He needs rehab like Mel Gibson and Mark Foley need it. Not at all. But, I do think that porn users, sort of like some drug users, need more and more or more and more hardcore porn in order to get off. Back when I used to use porn, I found that I needed more and more graphic stuff. I wish I could say that I stopped because I suddenly had a feminist revelation, but it was mostly since I realized that I was wasting too much time. But, when I quit, I didn’t need rehab and I didn’t get the shakes and I didn’t need methadone or whatnot. Though, it was my getting into feminism that kept me from going back to porn, so that’s something, I suppose.

    Anyway, I think that Germaine Greer’s quote from The Whole Woman also makes sense. I don’t agree with the “your kink is always okay” notion that misogynists like Dan Savage like to promote. I also think that the easy access and widespread nature of internet porn leads to a lot of these particularly bizzare fetishes. When naked chicks just don’t do it anymore for porn-loving dudes, it’s time to start nailing foreskins to breadboards, while watching naked chicks or something along those lines.

  26. Casey

    I’ve totally masturbated at work. (in the bathroom…) But i don’t watch porn.

  27. jnthnu

    Hey, I think he can totally have his coverage under the Americans with Disabilities act – just as soon as he undergoes voluntary castration.

    What a fucking maroon.

  28. Naz

    I just read this Yahoo News article about the incident and was wondering what you all would make of it in light of the details of the incident.

    http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070218/ap_on_hi_te/chat_room_lawsuit

    I think it a bit odd that the couple who were caught having sex on a desk were merely reprimanded, while the guy who was sending sexually explicit messages in a chat room was fired.

    I don’t agree with either act but think there should be some consistency as to how the company deals with employees who engage in sexual acts in the work place.

    As to the guys claim that he has legitimate medical disorder, I say ‘Meh’.

  29. Vera Venom

    “just as soon as he undergoes voluntary castration.”

    Or court ordered castration.

    Either way.

  30. ginmar

    You guys missed the best part: he’s claiming it helps his PTSD. I wonder how his dead buddy would feel about his so-called friend using him as an excuse to whine about wanking?

  31. teffie-phd

    That wanker has one hell of a creative lawyer. And wanker is also the stupidest man on the planet. Why the hell would he publicly humiliate himself in this way?

    He needs the disability insurance because he’ll never get a job again.

    It’s like an episode of Boston Legal–and not a very good one.

  32. Antoinette Niebieszczanski

    kcb: “pecker-petting”

    Me: Insert interweb expression for loud laughter here. You made my morning.

  33. Victoria Marinelli

    As someone with actual PTSD (thanks for returning to that point, ginmar), this whole thing pisses me off considerably.

    Also, I’m slightly concerned/skeeved out that I might know this this Metal Prophet, though that’s neither here nor there.

  34. ginmar

    Victoria, I just got out of the hospital after my own PTSD had gotten so bad as to require a month’s worth inside. I found myself in the company of shoplifters and entitlement whingers, complaining that their girlfriends weren’t sexy enough. I don’t so much feel this asswipe’s pain as desire to exponentially increase it.

  35. Shira

    You guys missed the best part: he’s claiming it helps his PTSD.

    You know, I bet it would help my PTSD to watch this guy’s court-ordered non-anesthetized hedge-clipper castration.

  36. Metal Prophet

    Did you used to post at the Ms. Magazine boards, Victoria Marinelli?

  37. Victoria Marinelli

    Metal Prophet: I may have, but if you didn’t know my name then you’re not who I was concerned you might be. Carry on.

  38. Victoria Marinelli

    ginmar: Sounds like an exceptionally cruel setup to me. Had you beaten them to death with their own shoes, however, I rather think there would be numerous qualifying conditions for a plea of “justifiable homicide.”

  39. ginmar

    Yeah, for some reason, I was the only combat vet there amongst the younger vets. The younger guys were absolutely shitty; whiny little bastards who were bitching about the Dessert Cart of Life didn’t contain anything they wanted. The older guys were pretty cool, though.

  40. jnthnu

    s/voluntary//

    Down with spurious, unnecessary, inconsistent, poorly chosen adjectives.

  41. Carolyn

    Also it mentions in the article about the feminist anti-pornography article in March that researchers from four universities recently reviewed 50 popular hardcore porn videos and found the deep rooted woman hatred of the porn industry. I mentioned this also on Queer Dewd’s web site also but it didn’t matter.

  42. Carolyn

    I also said to “Brian” that yeah it’s real good ideas that pornography teaches teenage boys and young men,that women are just f*ck recepticles and that most women want to be f*cked hard by all men with huge c*cks in every orficice,called bitches and sluts often,and ejaculated on and used and disgarded for the whole sexist woman hating male dominated society’s pleasure! I said we live in a sick male dominated woman hating society and pornography is a big reason why and that they are influenced by it! It was very distressing to deal with them dismissing and denying the truth about pornography,and worse defending it! Obviously they want to keep using it and don’t *want* to recognize the truth! And they also are so influenced and desensitized by the pornography itself they just don’t get the real issue here! I blame the patriarchy for why we have pornography in the first place, why it’s been mainstreamed and made acceptable,and why women are in it,and how some women are now influenced to support it too!

  43. Carolyn

    I also said that because pornography *does* sexualize sexist inequality and mens domination of women,and it teaches this is the only definition of sexuality, and thanks to pornography no other equal healthy version is popular,you wrongly assume that to be against *this* sexist male dominated woman hating version of sexuality,we are anti-sex! Which just goes to prove how influenced by the pornography they really are!

  44. Twisty

    Carolyn, if there was ever a case of a commenter needing her own blog, it’s you. I strongly urge you to consider starting “Carolyn’s Pornography Sucks Blog.” You go girl.

  45. Carolyn

    Twisty, but aren’t you also outraged about the injustices and injuries of pornography too? What do you have to say about those as*sholes I tried to get through to on Queer Dewd’s blog who support porn?

  46. Twisty

    Carolyn, I think it’s pretty clear that I’m outraged; few topics water my crab tree like porn does. Furthermore, I appreciate the anguish you must feel as a result of your own experiences, as well as your sense of urgency about spreading the word. Which is why I think that you might have better luck soliciting responses specific to your views were you to air them in your own porn-specific forum; since most those reading this already agree with you, nobody around here is likely to have much to add to your general “porn is evil” thesis, particularly since your comments rather take on the character of personal rants rather than advancements of the discourse currently under way. Nothing against personal rants, lard knows, but the best place for those is your own blog.

  47. Carolyn

    Twisty,

    Why do you say that I’m just making personal rants against pornography when I have given a lot of strong factual informaton to make the case against it! And when you say my “views” against pornography and that most people on here agree with it, how is it just a “view” that pornography is harmful very sexist,dehumanizes women and has woman hating in it just a “view” and how could any true feminist visiting here not be afgainst that?

  48. Carolyn

    I have given a lot of strong facts to advance the case against pornography read what I have written again!

  49. Victoria Marinelli

    Carolyn,

    Your rage and energy on these topics is welcome and wonderful, and my first thought when I read your comments above was that you’d do well to get a blog yourself. Then Twisty took a moment to reply to you, and then it appeared you took her comments (or perhaps her lack of some highly specific response you had been anticipating) to mean things I’m pretty sure Twisty didn’t mean.

    A couple of things:

    1) While I wouldn’t dare attempt to speak for Twisty (the still fairly Young Onion in me remains both theoretically, and to a lesser degree generationally, deferential to the far more experienced and knowledgeable Spinster Aunt) but since she’s said as much in her replies to you, I think it’s pretty damned safe to say she’s on your side. You might safely assume that the average reader of this blog is also on your side.

    2) Damn straight, you should get thee a blog. Not because your ideas, experience, research, etc. don’t merit airing here in the comments (that’s not my call anyhow), but because why not? I’m pretty sure folks would want to read you and learn from what you have to say. If you are so inclined, I’d be happy to give you some pointers on starting out on such a quest (in which case, feel free to contact me). And I have a massive list of antiporn resources, blogs, etc. that you might like to network with.

    3) If you’re not inclined to blog as such, but you’re interested in engaging in a very active way with others working against pornography, on a site where specific pieces of research such as that which you’ve referenced above are likely to generate a broad response (maybe closer to the responses you seem to be seeking, from my highly subjective vantage point in all this), I highly recommend the bulletin boards at Genderberg.com.

    4) It’s my impression that Twisty probably gets an assload of email and comments on any given day. I twittered with embarrassingly girlish glee when she responded to a very few of these I’d posted, and did not sulk needlessly that I didn’t get some highly detailed narrative responding to each and every thing I’d articulated. It’s her blog, and she’s going to write whatever she damn well pleases (both in posts and comments) and has the time for (she also has a non-blogging life!). I take what she offers here as a gift, pure and simple, and I’m grateful for it.

    Best regards – Victoria

  50. Carolyn

    Why isn’t this blog the appropiate place to post all of this information though? Why should I go to my own blog and write the same information? By the way Jackson Katz a former all star college football player and leading anti-sexist anti-violence educator has a recent very important book out called,The Macho Paradox:Why Some Men Hurt Women And How All Men Can Help,and he has a chapter on the harmful miseducation of pornography on boys and men’s attitudes about girls and women and sexuality and he says in an online interview I sent to Twisty and I really wish she would post on here, that pornography is the # 1 source of sex miseducation for men and boys and plays a big part in how they see girls and women and in the socialization of boys and men. His book is about all men taking responsibility for the high numbers of rape and domestic violence in our society. In an online article he wrote about these issues he says it’s men who are buying degrading pornography,hateful rap music,and commiting the violence against women.

    Jackson Katz wrote me several supportive emails a few years ago. In one he says I totally agre with you that the mainstreaming of pornography is a terrible development and he fears it’s only going to get worse,and then he told me about this book he was working on. In another email he said he thinks the reason that some women even some who call themselves “feminists” are supporting pornography now,is a misguided attempt to appear so-called “liberated” and to appeal to men,but he said there are a lot of people out there including many men who are educating about the truth about pornography.

    I want to describe this workshop called Pornography:What’s The Harm? by anti-sexist anti-violence therapist Rus Ervin Funk from the web site of The Center For Women and Families in Marcch 2005. It says Join The Center For Women and Families in this frank conversation about pornography and the harm it causes to the women and men used in it’s production to women and men through men’s use of pornography,to women in general,and to sexual,gender and racial justice.This discussion will include ways to combat pornography and to support the people who are harmed. Facilitated by Rus Ervin Funk MSW,The Center For Women and Families Part of Sexual Asault Awareness month. Co-sponsored by the Jefferson County Chapter of The National Organization For Women and The Women’s Center For Growth and Leadership at Jefferson Community College.

  51. Carolyn

    I meant that she said is really gross.

  52. Twisty

    I’m sorry, Carolyn, but this is not a message board. This is my own personal blog, and the topic under discussion is a guy who’s suing IBM for firing him because he was jerking off at work. If you have anything to add to this specific subject, by all means bring it forth, but this is not the place to lead your own discussion on other topics. I hope this clarifies things for you.

  53. Carolyn

    I had posted these comments yesterday on here was it removed? I had said but it does relate to this guy using porn at work and men often sexually harass women with it in the workplace,and it also has to do with how normalized and mainstreamed it’s become that he and other men use it at work.

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