You’ve breathlessly awaited the next installment of my acclaimed series Traffic Cones of South Austin. The wait is over. I present “The Lone Cone.” South Congress Ave. February 2007. [Not pictured: the tea hat]
Maybe once in a generation somebody writes a comment so profound, so incisive, so utterly penetrating that suddenly you find yourself questioning everything. Has everyone you ever distrusted failed to fail you? Are lies really Truth? Is society on the brink of contentment? Are all social and political interactions governed by a passionate, altruistic Cosmic Enthusiasm? Can fear and loathing survive? And, perhaps most importantly of all, should the government kill people who opine without a license, especially on the subject of TV shows?
This is one of those comments.
As for the writer of this blog: maybe if you didn’t have your head up your ass so much, you might be able to see the humor in Ms. Silverman’s show, and be able to like Ugly Betty. You and the other ladies that have posted here might think that you’re better than the neocon majority, but your sour, Victorian attitude shows me that you’re just as tightassed and moralistic as them. Prove me wrong and find enjoyment in life, or shut the fuck up and stop talking about popular culture: we already have people who critique that, and they’re paid for it.
43 comments
MzNicky
March 3, 2007 at 9:55 am (UTC -6)
Twisty: What’s telling about creepy after-the-fact “commenters” like this is how they wait until the thread is cold and they think no one’s looking, then they latch onto the tail end of it with some juvenile stupid snotty name-calling and such they’d never have the nerve to do in the middle of the thread, when those who are engaged in the topic would jump all over their ass. And she knows it, and wouldn’t stand a chance. She’s the cowardly little shit who runs after a receding group of folks and throws a rock at them, then when they turn around to see what the fuck?, she runs away. Run away, little after-the-fact trolly rock-thrower! You ain’t got the chops to post in the light of day, so piss off!
Lily Underwood
March 3, 2007 at 10:14 am (UTC -6)
Who better to comment on popular culture than Twisty Faster? I say no one.
Pinko Punko
March 3, 2007 at 10:47 am (UTC -6)
The Platonic Ideal. I feel much better about myself after reading that. I would not want to be a guerrilla Ugly Betty marketer. Also, I thought test audiences found “shut the fuck up” to be surprisingly ineffective.
Victoria Marinelli
March 3, 2007 at 11:04 am (UTC -6)
Has everyone you ever distrusted failed to fail you?
Actually, yeah. Though not very often. (I do try to allow room in my psyche for the possibility, at least. Stranger things have happend, that’s for damned sure.)
Ptooey on the cowardly commenter.
BubbasNightmare
March 3, 2007 at 11:04 am (UTC -6)
It took a minute for me to catch was the Odd Lady was saying. Then the sunlight burst through the murky clouds: “Men’s Rights Activists”.
However, I am clueless as to why she’d want to exclude “nice guys” as well.
annaham
March 3, 2007 at 11:06 am (UTC -6)
but your sour, Victorian attitude shows me that you’re just as tightassed and moralistic as them.
Ah, yes, the good ol’ “UR A PRUDE LOL” argument. We’ve never heard that before, no sireeee!
Sean
March 3, 2007 at 11:07 am (UTC -6)
Finding poop jokes unfunny = Victorian attitude
Damn, those neocons have won again!
As an aside, I don’t understand what the “neocon majority” is. Seeing how only about half the population is Republican, out of that, at most half is conservative, and out of that, only maybe half are neocons, that would equal a 1/8th neocon population in America. And even then, that’s a pretty “liberal” estimate. I’ll be here all night, folks.
Mrs. Kennedy
March 3, 2007 at 11:15 am (UTC -6)
“Prove me wrong and find enjoyment in life”?? Someone’s missed all of your of lunch posts.
Bitey
March 3, 2007 at 11:15 am (UTC -6)
My favorite part of the post was in the previous paragraph, where our intrepid correspondent asked, “Are things always so black and white for you that you can’t just settle down and enjoy yourselves?” I think this is just a paraphrase of one of my favorite fratboyisms: “Stupid chicks. Why can’t you just be cool?”
Rob
March 3, 2007 at 12:01 pm (UTC -6)
I probably had that guy in my composition class once.
slownews
March 3, 2007 at 12:08 pm (UTC -6)
“prissy, stuck up snobs” ?
Aha! someone just got his sorry ass turned down. And small wonder.
yankee transplant
March 3, 2007 at 12:08 pm (UTC -6)
jeezus.
Johanna
March 3, 2007 at 1:21 pm (UTC -6)
Why do that kind of commenter always call us blamers “ladies” and not women?
Heraclitus (Jeff)
March 3, 2007 at 1:24 pm (UTC -6)
Ah, the “find the middle ground” trope. I think I’m coming to despise centrists almost as much as libertarians. But how dare you have principles, Twisty! That makes you just like those neocons we keep hearing about.
sour, Victorian attitude
March 3, 2007 at 2:16 pm (UTC -6)
“{…} and they’re paid for it.”
lol
Flamethorn
March 3, 2007 at 2:37 pm (UTC -6)
Johanna, because they think “women” is an insult and “ladies” is something we won’t interpret as one.
The Hedonistic Pleasureseeker
March 3, 2007 at 2:46 pm (UTC -6)
Hahahaha. This one is just like those random dude commenters at my site who read my Man Laws rant and then tell me to “get a life!” Say what? Moi, “get a life?” Good grief! If they only knew!
SusanM
March 3, 2007 at 3:09 pm (UTC -6)
Besides the life-changing events they surely are, the best part of comments like that for me is always the responses they inspire.
ginmar
March 3, 2007 at 3:28 pm (UTC -6)
Ah, MRAs—Men Refused by All. Shocking, just shocking, I tell you.
Clio Bluestocking
March 3, 2007 at 4:08 pm (UTC -6)
Well! I feel suitably put in my lady place. What was I thinking, critiquing the patriarchy without a lisence issued by a suitable male agent? Let me run off now and try to please men like this clearly sage and brilliant commenter who is so wise and knowlegable.
What a moron!
josie my source of most frustration
March 3, 2007 at 4:18 pm (UTC -6)
In his defense, maybe the tea hat convinced him that you are Victorian?
Ann Bartow
March 3, 2007 at 4:23 pm (UTC -6)
Here’s a short excerpt from a long blog-related e-mail I got today:
Isn’t it touching how concerned he is about feminists “wasting resources”? Guess he doesn’t realize that Patriarchy Blaming can be recycled.
Scratchy888
March 3, 2007 at 4:53 pm (UTC -6)
Are the neocons tightassed and moralistic?! I thought the whole point about them was that they are crudely non-moralistic. According to Leo Strauss, their Commander in Chief Extraordinaire, they are indeed the ones without any morals, who seek to gain, around their peripheries, willing and benighted fundamentalists — those useful fools who will do their dirty work for them. Given that what I say is true, methinks your troll confuses the core with the crust, and mistakes vulgar, Machiavellian materialism for something far more ‘spiritual’. I sentence Mister of Mrs Troll to two hours hard labour stacking shelves in his or her local library.
al
March 3, 2007 at 5:52 pm (UTC -6)
Hey, I like both Sarah Silverman and Ugly Betty. And from memory, so did a few other people commenting on that thread. But the difference between me and Solex is, I don’t interpret disagreement as a sign that others need to get [insert dumb MRA putdown here]: a sense of humour/laid/a penis/a life.
What was that Jesus said? About not pointing to the splinter in someone’s eye when you have an entire telephone pole up your ass?
Fiona
March 3, 2007 at 6:06 pm (UTC -6)
Isn’t it touching how concerned he is about feminists “wasting resources� Guess he doesn’t realize that Patriarchy Blaming can be recycled.
Ha!
What always befuddles me about the “get a life” crowd is that they are quite happy to waste their time and “resources” accusing other people of wasting their own resources. If critiquing pop culture (without getting paid!) is sad, then by that logic critiquing the critique is much sadder.
Next thing you know, Twisty’ll be accused of infringing on Silverman’s right to free speech.
Ann Bartow
March 3, 2007 at 6:52 pm (UTC -6)
Fiona – yep. And oh the e-mails that start out: “I’m a liberal but…”
There are lots of Liberal Butts out there!
kiki
March 3, 2007 at 9:15 pm (UTC -6)
“Prove me wrong and find enjoyment in life”
ACK.
Isn’t the demand to “prove” that you don’t have a “Victorian attitude” and that you’re not “tightassed” just code for…”fuck me baby to prove how liberated you are?” Isn’t it followed with, “Hey, don’t be stuck up”…and “Yeah, I got what you need.” And then the inevitable, “shut the fuck up “…As if.
As for, “You and the other ladies that have posted here”… I don’t claim to speak for the others…but… I may be a woman, but I am no fucking “lady”.
TP
March 4, 2007 at 2:10 am (UTC -6)
I love that photo. Your photos are truly amazing. I’m saying this lightly, either.
Have you given up on bugs? I did love those bug shots, too, because I loved the bugs, and the art.
edith
March 4, 2007 at 2:35 am (UTC -6)
You know what, on my shitty blog that I update just about never, my blogging partner Vicky wrote some post about roller derby in response to YOUR roller derby post(s) like way, way back in the day. And for some reason, not a week goes by without getting at least one comment from some roller derby player/enthusiast throwing a verbal shitstorm. My only guess is that Vicky’s post must be linked on some website under “Fucking Bitch Hates Roller Derby! You Go School Her!”
But on a more important note: that is a nice looking cone. Although, is it actually cone-shaped?
GreyLadyBast
March 4, 2007 at 10:58 am (UTC -6)
Oh, gawd, the “ladies” thing! “Ladies” meaning “stupid little idiots who should bow down before my Almighty Dudely Wisdom.” I hate that with the fiery passion of a thousand burning suns, and I’m someone who likes the word lady* sometimes.
It’s like the way they say “woman,” too. “Woman,” meaning “crappy servant who can’t even do that right.” As in, “fetch me a beer, woman.” It’s the sneer in the voice, that snotty, superior tone, that turns perfectly acceptable words so vile.
Why do they have to take every word for us and turn it into some sort of insult?
*sigh* On a more uplifting note, though:
What was that Jesus said? About not pointing to the splinter in someone’s eye when you have an entire telephone pole up your ass?
Best. Paraphrase. Ever!
Bast
*I blame Renn Faire. And the patriarchy, too.
kiki
March 4, 2007 at 11:14 am (UTC -6)
Man, I just read my post. Sorry for all the dang ellipses.
Orange
March 4, 2007 at 11:38 pm (UTC -6)
Rob said: “I probably had that guy in my composition class once.”
I misread that as “I probably had that guy in my constipation class once.” It made perfect sense to me.
Christopher
March 5, 2007 at 1:44 am (UTC -6)
I’ve always wondered why some people are so concerned that I might be wasting my time… what do they care?
It seems to me (bear with me here) that “get a life!” comes from the same place that nurtures homophobia and racism and all kinds of other bad things.
Homophobia is the idea that if ANYBODY does sex “wrong” it will effect you; some gay folks getting married in Massachusetts is gonna bring down society in Idaho.
Racism is a lot of the same thing; the non-whites will come up here, and they talk wrong and listen to wrong music and eat wrong food and do religion wrong.
It’s this idea that, somehow, if somebody does things WRONG that will hurt not just them, but you.
It’s an attitude that utterly baffles me.
PS I only saw one episode of the Sarah Silverman show -the one with the homeless guy- and it was exactly the same as any given American Dad script.
Did I see a bad episode? Are the others as innovative, controversial and confusing as the hype would have me believe?
I dunno, I just despair of culture if switching the gender of the protagonist of a third-rate copy of a decade-old cartoon show is enough to utterly befuddle us.
Sylvanite
March 5, 2007 at 7:52 am (UTC -6)
Just the same as any American Dad script? Sounds like good, possibly even objective reasons, to avoid them both.
I’ve never been able to put my finger on why, but for some reason I dislike Family Guy even though I have always enjoyed The Simpsons. My brother swears if I like one, I should like both. Is it because I don’t have a penis?
Also, I hate to be told to settle down. It’s a sure sign that how I’m behaving is completely valid, but the person telling me to “settle down” just can’t deal with it
Twisty
March 5, 2007 at 8:25 am (UTC -6)
I once saw an episode of American Dad in which the baby with the football head sexually assaults a cheerleader who has been ducktaped, beaten, and left in a public washroom. You won’t see that on The Simpsons.
No wait, that was that show just like American Dad. What’s it called? Wait. Which one has the Paul Lynde alien?
Sara
March 5, 2007 at 9:35 am (UTC -6)
American Dad has the Paul Lynde alien. Family Guy has the football-headed baby.
Sara
March 5, 2007 at 9:38 am (UTC -6)
Oh, and I like one and not the other, too, same as Sylvanite, same as my boyfriend.
Oh, and I really need a cup of coffee.
Sylvanite
March 5, 2007 at 9:41 am (UTC -6)
Well, I guess that ‘splains it. I don’t recall seeing anything that appalling, but Family Guy always felt wrong somehow. I guess because it really is wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong.
elektrodot
March 5, 2007 at 10:58 am (UTC -6)
hah! i did like family guy. but then someone gave me season 1 for christmas. if you watch…id say at least 3 or 4 episodes in a row youll see the same joke at least twice…and that gets worse the more episodes you watch. its like they seriously cant come up with anything else or they really just dont give a shit.
hedonistic
March 5, 2007 at 11:16 am (UTC -6)
Sometimes I come here just to remind myself why I don’t watch TV at all. I’d rather be cleaning the grout behind my toilets with my fingernails. Seriously.
SusanM
March 5, 2007 at 12:34 pm (UTC -6)
Sylvanite: I’ve never been able to put my finger on why, but for some reason I dislike Family Guy even though I have always enjoyed The Simpsons. My brother swears if I like one, I should like both. Is it because I don’t have a penis?
I’ve had this same problem. I despise “Family Guy” and love “The Simpsons.” A blogger explained one possible reason for me once. His blog seems to be down, but I saved the explanation:
Bitey
March 8, 2007 at 6:59 pm (UTC -6)
I don’t know if anyone is still reading this thread (I’d hate to be anything like our friend Solex), but I, too, am a fan of The Simpsons and a hater on The Family Guy. Here’s how I see it: The Simpsons is peopled by well-rounded, well-developed characters with whom the audience can identify. (I have this theory that everyone can find themselves in one or another Simpsons character. I myself am Moe Szyslak. My husband is Milhouse. Y’all know way too much about us now.) Also, its episodes, for the most part, feature actual plots. This is opposed to The Family Guy, which is just a series of sight gags and fart jokes, held together by plots so flimsy they don’t deserve the name. Moreover, The Family Guy seems to hate and despise its characters, while The Simpsons loves all of them.
I’m gonna quit now, before I really geek out.
Fiona
March 12, 2007 at 7:54 pm (UTC -6)
Moreover, The Family Guy seems to hate and despise its characters, while The Simpsons loves all of them.
Good point. That’s why I love Futurama; Matt Groening et al really do seem to love their characters, no matter how wacky.
Hey, you’re not named after the monorail possum, are you?