Sadly, Models for Christ is not, as I’d first thought, a support forum for the sandy-haired, blue-eyed white dudes who dress up in Jesus-togas for Xian propaganda photo shoots, but it’s still pretty funny, if, like me, you get a chuckle out of the inexplicably universal belief that an invisible dead Jew from the Roman Empire has been floating around the stratosphere for the past 2000 years performing concierge duties for mealymouthed Americans. Or, in this case, for 16-year-old models.
Christ is my best friend [...] He is completely involved with my modeling.”
The gifted author of the Models for Christ website, undeterred by what some might call oxymoron, crafts this remarkable sentence: “Models for Christ seeks to encourage and strengthen the spiritual growth of all who are interested within the fashion business.”
Once you stop laughing at the idea of the God-shaped vacuum inside every fashion model, it takes about 47 seconds to grasp that Models for Christ is actually a shill for “one on one consultations with today’s top industry professionals” (to the tune of $100 an hour), as well as “materials” ($6.95 – $19.95) containing “essential facts” about how to make it big in the modeling game. Imagine. Godbags preying on young girls.
You probably aren’t lying around with nothing better to do, but if you are, the life story of Jill Williams, a model who once had “everything in the world” (i.e. she belonged to a Saudi harem) but whose face, thanks to Jesus, bears no trace of “stress lines,” is just as good as a movie on Lifetime TV.