Thank the lard for websites like The Sydney Morning Herald. Without them, I might have lived out my days in ignorance of important American sexcientific research proving once and for all that “women are worse oglers than men.”*
Researchers used impressive “eye-tracking technology” to suggest that when men are shown things like “sexual stimuli” or “sexual photographs,” they look at female faces “much more than women.” Women, on the other hand, if they are not taking birth control pills, check out a dude’s package first, before moving on to faces and other contextual elements of the photos. The scientific term for these pornography-generated eye movements is “ogling.”
Because lesbians and homosexuals are a marginalized and immoral minority and have nothing to do with actual humanity, no part of this human sexual desire study addressed same-sex ogling.
The study also showed that men and women look at women’s naughty bits the same. Since women don’t look at naughty bits less than men, and since we don’t modestly confine our gaze to faces, and since we supposedly focus more intently on “photographs of men performing sexual acts with women” than men do, the Sydney Morning Herald is perfectly within its rights to call women “worse.”
Women are worse! Women are worse! Proven again! Thanks, heteronormative sex research academics!
It couldn’t be that men look first at women’s faces because dudes are conditioned from the cradle to appraise a woman’s value according to her objective position in the ugly-beautiful continuum, and that the raw data required for this assessment is contained in the face. It couldn’t be that women’s apparent interest in dude-on-chick “sexual stimuli” (a most asinine clinicalized euphemism) is an expression, in an it’s-hideous-yet-I-can’t-look-away way, of the horror with which any member of an oppressed sex class might reasonably be expected to regard the graphic representation of her own rapeability. No, the only possible conclusion is that women, incorrigible oglers that we are, are worse.
The purpose of the study — which study, for you eggheads, is reported in the April 2007 Hormones and Behavior, a gripping journal I always read cover-to-cover, right after I spend the morning watching paint dry — is, according to another indispensable website, NBC5.com, to add to what is surely a woefully inadequate supply of information on straight people’s sexual desire, with the civic-minded hope of contributing to improved public health.
Hey, I got an idea for improved public health. Hows about the fucking government gets out of my fucking uterus?
* Because they are dutiful minions of Male Dominion, the news writers upon whose shoulders it fell to sex up the researchers’ press release omit to mention that in a patriarchy, an ogle can only be as powerful as its ogler, thus falsely suggesting that if women do it too, how bad can it be?