Anyone who says that you should keep quiet and not fight back JUST IN CASE some guy who is insistently and obnoxiously harassing you, a man who takes your silence as acceptance, MIGHT get mad if you stand up for yourself, is telling you to lay down and let the patriarchy walk all over you. Gavin de Becker says it best: if your instincts tell you that keeping quiet is the thing to do, listen to them. If they don’t tell you, have at ‘im with the brick. The law does not do for women what it should: therefore women should do for ourselves.

I’m pretty worried about the kid these days.

You might also purchase some pepper spray. Being blinded and in pain puts your attacker at an immediate disadvantage, and it’s much easier to explain to police that you blasted some scumbag with pepper spray in self-defense as opposed to damaging property.

The first time my daughter experienced the kind of harassment you described we bought her a can of pepper spray that same day and talked her through how to use it. (She’s too young to legally have pepper spray, but I don’t give a fuck.) She immediately felt more comfortable about going outside and she does understand that it’s essential to use the pepper spray responsibly. I’m trying to convince her to take martial arts classes, but she’s balking. I may have to insist, bacause she “bloomed” while still very young, and she’s very much, and very obviously, a non-conformist.

I think women need to come together with their resources in order to truly make a difference in the long term. I personally don’t believe this means voting for Hilary Clinton or supporting Oprah’s projects, nor the shitty snake oil peddlers she endorses.

The only way to freedom is through economic power & I really think sometimes we need to fight back using the same tactics as the assholes we are forced to confront every day.

Last year, I was followed by a freak while I was biking in the afternoon. He drove along side of me making a hissing noise like a snake. I ignored him for many blocks. Then I got caught at a stoplight with him right next to me, when he called out to me to say, I quote, “….Baby doll, I need to take you home; fuck you hard. This will humanize you….”

I started shaking & tried ignoring him for the 4 or 5 blocks more I had to reach my front door. I thought he had turned. Then I realized he was still driving alongside me saying more disgusting stuff to me. I stopped peddling & got off my bike. His face lit up. This asshole really believed I was going to get into his car & go home with him. I picked up a brick (there is a lot of construction in my neighborhood & all the debris laying about is great for self-defense) and screamed, “You are a fucking freak!” & threw the brick – smashing his windshield. The guy was so shocked he (thankfully) in his shock could not undo his seatbelt. I managed to ride away quickly.

I cannot call the police anymore. They cannot, or will not do anything in these kinds of circumstances. I instantaneously made that decision that day to physically fight back. My boyfriend supports me but wants me to take proper self-defense classes. I’ve had other weird situations like when I was waiting for friends at a very swank hotel bar. I was solicited by a guy who kept grabbing my hand & pulling it into his body until I firmly squeezed a part of his body like a dirty sponge & he got the message. Yeah he made a sceme & tried to have me kicked out but the gay bar manager believed me.

These stories may be immature tactics to some of how to deal with men but I can tell you I have never felt as powerful as when I have taken physical action against these criminals. I have come to the conclusion that a variety of strategies have to be used if we are to be effective.

Maybe I am simply depressed.

While I am more than willing to be honest, I don’t know how realistic it is to believe that passive resistance will do any good?

If by “noncompliance” you mean physically acting against men whenever they display bad behavior – yes I started doing this a couple of years ago when I finally understood how futile being kind, loving, understanding & passive really were. Since realizing I am dealing with a criminal mind – it has helped me to study their pathology.

I find being respectful, diplomatic, reasonable & passive doesn’t get through to the majority of men.

You must resist, I tell you. Resist advertising and godbags and capitalism and Ralph Lauren and the Gilmore Girls and femininity. And tell your kids to resist. Thebewilderness puts it nicely a couple of comments up. “Lasting possible change” may never occur globally or even regionally, but you will have rescued your self, and this will have nothing but a positive effect on your immediate sphere of influence.

If everyone did this, we’d have the revolution in the bag!

As for women-as-victims, hell yeah we’re victims. There’s no shame in it. We didn’t ask for it and we don’t enjoy it and it’s not our fault. It is an act of patriarchal aggression to hold women responsible for their own oppression by turning “victim” into an insult.