I live a pretty vivid inner life, but some things are so sinister, so creepy, so vulgar, that even I couldn’t make’em up. As an example of a real-life horror scenario, I give you the Sugar & Spice Spa Camp for Girls.
That’s right. No archery or horseback riding or canoeing or lanyard-making will interfere with “what girls want to learn.” No s’mores, no ghost stories around the campfire, no make-outs behind the hay barn. Girls ages 12 to 15 will “practice giving manicures, facials, pedicures and basic massage technique.” To enhance their chances of becoming centerfolds, I suppose.
The camp brochure actually alludes to the campers as “femme fatales [sic],” so there can be little doubt that the goal is to prepare them for a career in the titillation business. Check out the Theme Days. Like Diva Day, when — I know it sounds fantastic, but there it is, in black-and-white — “the girls get to sit in a director’s chair…
…and learn what colors match their skin tone.”
Mastery of these oppressive femininity rituals will be “balanced” with yoga and aromatherapy, I’m guessing so that the poor kids can relieve the stress engendered by this wholesale savaging of their sense of self.