Despite an airtight defense (she “didn’t know” her license was suspended when she got busted for doing 70 in a 35), Paris Hilton’s been sentenced to 45 days in the hoosegow. Now her loyal fans are circulating Free Paris petitions. This is my favorite:
“If the late former President Gerald Ford could find it in his heart to pardon the late former President Richard Nixon after his mistake(s), we undeniably support Paris Hilton being pardoned for her honest mistake as well.”
I love — by which I mean “I fail to grasp” — the supremely peculiar idea, popular among the masses, that celebrities should be forgiven when they’re assholes or “pardoned” when they’re criminals. Surely a bloodthirsty, schadenfreudish see-how-the- mighty-have-fallen attitude would be much healthier?