How about this for a snappy headline:
What, exactly, is “lesbian child support,” you are undoubtedly asking yourself.
You’ll never guess, so I’ll tell you. It’s just regular old child support — the kind dudes never want to pay. Why does The Daily Telegraph call it “lesbian child support”? I sure as hell don’t know. Because lesbians are so sensational, I guess?
Here’s the set-up: 2 kids are born. Genetic material derives from people who aren’t married to each other. Woman sues sperm donor for child support. Sperm donor demurs. Appellate court rules that, tough shit, he is responsible for the maintenance of the fruit of his loins.
As you can see, these are all contingencies that could apply to anyone. In fact, this exact scenario plays out daily, everywhere. The woman doesn’t have to be queer. The dude doesn’t have to be a sperm donor. Irresponsible pricks beget offspring and slink off to Slackville every day. So why the headline?
It would all be very simple if they’d just cut out the bullshit red herrings about nuclear families and Jesus-approved heternormativity and whether or not sperm donors are dead. The fact that the dude’s original involvement amounted to him spunking in a cup? Irrelevant! The fact that the mother was in a committed relationship with a woman? Irrelevant! The fact that the dude has since dropped dead of a stroke? Irrelevant!
Hey girls! Don’t have kids you can’t afford! Hey dudes! Too cheap to support your spawn? Squirt it in a tubesock! Hey news media! Can’t think of anything useful to write about? There’s a war on!