Horrible developments in the Odonata Paddock at the Twisty Bungalow have forced me to flee for my life.
Because I’ve got flooding, a bathroom full of raw sewage, broken water pipes, irate neighbors, and a plumber named Dudly, I will be away from my desk today, enjoying the hospitality of friends who are not afflicted with the aforementioned. For your blaming convenience, the cheezy new I Blame the Patriarchy: The Message Board (Beta) is now in Day 2 of testing. It’s a laff riot over there. Some asshole has hacked it or something.
Sayonara for now, and may your shower stalls remain fecal-matter-free.
26 comments
LouisaMayAlcott
May 31, 2007 at 11:55 am (UTC -6)
Hey Twisty,
Enjoy your sh!t-free day.
And in the meantime we can read rows of @ signs on the forum.
Orange
May 31, 2007 at 12:08 pm (UTC -6)
That rat-bastard hacker deleted my scintillating prose! Could be worse. My pipes could be regurgitating sewage, and they’re not. For that, I am grateful. And sympathetic to Twisty, whose abode is currently befouled by fecal matter. Ooh! Metaphor for the hacker at the message boards. Too obvious to point out, and yet I did.
Twisty
May 31, 2007 at 12:08 pm (UTC -6)
I banned that guy. But he’ll probably be back. Because it’s so entertaining and full of high moral purpose to spend hours and hours putting ‘@@@@@’ on innocent little radical feminist message boards.
thebewilderness
May 31, 2007 at 12:21 pm (UTC -6)
I just checked and almost all the posts and comments have been deleted.
Hawise
May 31, 2007 at 12:26 pm (UTC -6)
Of course he’ll be back- houseflies always come back.
TinaH
May 31, 2007 at 12:36 pm (UTC -6)
Houseflies, huh? Is that the sewage drawing them? Damn patriarchial flies.
Antoinette Niebieszczanski
May 31, 2007 at 1:08 pm (UTC -6)
Eew, raw feces and hackers. All you need is a pack of rabid raccoons in your garbage cans to make the day complete.
yankee,transferred
May 31, 2007 at 1:23 pm (UTC -6)
I totally BTP for both the sewage and the @ signs.
ginmar
May 31, 2007 at 1:52 pm (UTC -6)
What an asshole. If feminism is, as the little trolls always say, so worthless, why not just leave it alone? It just offends them somehow so much that women spend a moment or two not thinking about men.
LouisaMayAlcott
May 31, 2007 at 2:06 pm (UTC -6)
Why not leave it alone? Because, as Twisty tells us, they hate us.
lawbitch
May 31, 2007 at 3:21 pm (UTC -6)
Did you get a shot of Dudly’s butt crack? You know, for prosterity? A posterior for posterity. LOL!
Hope that you’re fecal-free soon!
lawbitch
May 31, 2007 at 3:22 pm (UTC -6)
D’oh! That might have been funnier if I could spell.
Orange
May 31, 2007 at 4:36 pm (UTC -6)
Hope that you’re fecal-free soon!
Sounds like you’re wishing her a Happy Colonic Cleansing.
Jerry
May 31, 2007 at 5:08 pm (UTC -6)
Are your neighbors irate at you? That’s just wrong.
Twisty
May 31, 2007 at 5:24 pm (UTC -6)
Said Jerry: “Are your neighbors irate at you? That’s just wrong. ”
Yes they are, and I’m not sure I blame’em, although it’s only very indirectly my fault — in the sense that I’m the one who hired him — that Dudly drove a backhoe across their front yard. Tiresomely, Dudly is engaging in male posturing because he cannot admit he did anything that stupid.
Chris Clarke
May 31, 2007 at 5:45 pm (UTC -6)
Easy to fix. He need but drive across their back yard with a fronthoe, and the polarity of the Greater Austin ecosystem will be restored.
Sandi
May 31, 2007 at 8:14 pm (UTC -6)
OMG, I feel ya DAWG. Two years ago, I washed a load of clothes only to have the 40-some year old septic system gag and barf back up all that STUFF into my bathroom. Wow! Slap down towels, call the Roto-pal and go to work. Yikes! Meet them the next morning for all of that ROOTING stuff. Opened up the pipes, but it’s taken a bit more work to get the ancient septic tank in line. Not fun. Good Luck, and all that…
wheelomatic
May 31, 2007 at 8:30 pm (UTC -6)
Chris Clarke you crack me up.
Sorry for the butt-eriffic end to your month, TF.
witchy-woo
May 31, 2007 at 8:50 pm (UTC -6)
I’m liking that digging machine.
Went to the MB but it was poo so came back here.
witchy-woo
May 31, 2007 at 8:59 pm (UTC -6)
Oh…maybe not so poo.
I just found something.
Pinko Punko
May 31, 2007 at 9:26 pm (UTC -6)
I thought the boards were shaping up as a nice venting system for off-topic and assorted whatever type stuff. Even though this stuff can happen anywhere, it is nice to have IBTP interactions with people on lots of topics. Maybe we can keep it afloat.
Sorry about the sewage. We had a 2×4 in our sewer line and we’re closest to the mainline so 131 ft of toilet paper and sewage would back up every 4.1 weeks. The fourth time it happened they finally put a camera down there, but not before the other times asking the inevitable “did you flush a tampon?” Assholes.
I think you should squirt Dudley with the hose everytime he gets all Dudley on ya. “Dudley, No!” You can be the Plumber Whispererâ„¢.
Frumious B
June 1, 2007 at 1:47 pm (UTC -6)
Tampons ain’t that big, folks. I’ve flushed larger stuff down the toilet than tampons.
Chris Clarke
June 1, 2007 at 5:51 pm (UTC -6)
But diapers and tennis balls and sweat socks and such don’t have that Mad Vagina Juju to screw up The Man’s sensitive sewer technology.
wheelomatic
June 2, 2007 at 10:05 am (UTC -6)
“Mad Vagina Juju”
Best Band Name Ever (after “Flammable Jammies,” that is)
mAndrea
June 3, 2007 at 12:29 pm (UTC -6)
Is it safe to register yet? Figured if the forum was hackable then the passwords might be in jeopardy.
Incidently, have you ever wondered why it’s called a dictionary? Dicks don’t use them.
Anya
June 9, 2007 at 6:26 am (UTC -6)
Late to the poop party. In early May I had the drainfield replaced and the water line rerouted around it, since the fellow said it’s not a good idea or legal to have your drinking water line run right through Crap Central. Problem not solved. Seems the cast iron pipes from the toilet and shower were corroded which did not become evident until the Friday of Memorial Day weekend. The original drainfield guy, who got $4000 from me, declared that the pipe work would be $4200. I called the local plumber guy I’ve used to minor stuff, he worked over the entire weekend, holiday weekend, for $580.
Unbelievable.