Comments on: The post on marriage http://blog.iblamethepatriarchy.com/2007/06/13/the-post-on-marriage/ Thu, 09 Feb 2012 08:19:07 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Resist! Resist! Resist! « rehearsalsdepartures http://blog.iblamethepatriarchy.com/2007/06/13/the-post-on-marriage/#comment-180168 Resist! Resist! Resist! « rehearsalsdepartures Sun, 17 Jul 2011 00:55:53 +0000 http://blog.iblamethepatriarchy.com/2007/06/13/the-post-on-marriage/#comment-180168 [...] relationship. I consider marriage to be an institution of the patriarchy, built to oppress women. In addition to Twisty’s scathing critique of marriage, I would add that I believe that The State (tm & co) uses marriage to confer privilege upon [...] [...] relationship. I consider marriage to be an institution of the patriarchy, built to oppress women. In addition to Twisty’s scathing critique of marriage, I would add that I believe that The State (tm & co) uses marriage to confer privilege upon [...]

]]> By: awhirlinlondon http://blog.iblamethepatriarchy.com/2007/06/13/the-post-on-marriage/#comment-168338 awhirlinlondon Tue, 17 Aug 2010 14:35:36 +0000 http://blog.iblamethepatriarchy.com/2007/06/13/the-post-on-marriage/#comment-168338 Dawn Coyote wrote: "I wish I hadn’t self-destructed rather than destroy the illusion to which I clung." This is the thing and so beautifully put. Less elegantly put: living in TP can make you think you're crazy; marriage can make you think you're insane and inadequate. Wrong. Bad. Worth very little indeed. Likely result - as DC wrote: self-destruction. Dawn Coyote wrote: “I wish I hadn’t self-destructed rather than destroy the illusion to which I clung.” This is the thing and so beautifully put. Less elegantly put: living in TP can make you think you’re crazy; marriage can make you think you’re insane and inadequate. Wrong. Bad. Worth very little indeed. Likely result – as DC wrote: self-destruction.

]]> By: Jill http://blog.iblamethepatriarchy.com/2007/06/13/the-post-on-marriage/#comment-158729 Jill Thu, 04 Feb 2010 19:32:08 +0000 http://blog.iblamethepatriarchy.com/2007/06/13/the-post-on-marriage/#comment-158729 <em>"But I nonetheless wanted to express my content with my personal heteronormative paradigm."</em> Thank god! Because there just aren't enough heterosexuals expressing content with their personal choice to go with the flow of the status quo! “But I nonetheless wanted to express my content with my personal heteronormative paradigm.”

Thank god! Because there just aren’t enough heterosexuals expressing content with their personal choice to go with the flow of the status quo!

]]> By: Jess http://blog.iblamethepatriarchy.com/2007/06/13/the-post-on-marriage/#comment-158727 Jess Thu, 04 Feb 2010 18:30:20 +0000 http://blog.iblamethepatriarchy.com/2007/06/13/the-post-on-marriage/#comment-158727 As a happily engaged female, I consider my relationship to be complete already. When my fiance and I are married, it will be nothing more than the legal recognition of what we already have together. We already live together, eat together, sleep together, spend time with each other's friends...I don't anticipate anything changing. We have neither the ability nor the desire for children, although we would like some kittens. I work full time; he has a part time job and does most of the household chores. I suppose we are probably that oddball intellectual couple you mentioned. But I nonetheless wanted to express my content with my personal heteronormative paradigm. As a happily engaged female, I consider my relationship to be complete already. When my fiance and I are married, it will be nothing more than the legal recognition of what we already have together. We already live together, eat together, sleep together, spend time with each other’s friends…I don’t anticipate anything changing. We have neither the ability nor the desire for children, although we would like some kittens. I work full time; he has a part time job and does most of the household chores.

I suppose we are probably that oddball intellectual couple you mentioned. But I nonetheless wanted to express my content with my personal heteronormative paradigm.

]]> By: Kookaburra http://blog.iblamethepatriarchy.com/2007/06/13/the-post-on-marriage/#comment-154854 Kookaburra Sun, 11 Oct 2009 04:46:07 +0000 http://blog.iblamethepatriarchy.com/2007/06/13/the-post-on-marriage/#comment-154854 Wow, I just found this post, and I feel like I've just come across an oasis after a trek through the Sahara. I'm 25, and I've never had a long term relationship for many of the reasons your readers shared. With every date, every phone call, every email, I felt a bit of my independence slipping away. I stopped dating, and never felt deprived. I never thought much about marriage, and there's no pressure since I am currently in school, and everyone says, "Oh, well of course you don't have time <i>now</i>..." But I know there will be when I "grow up". Reading these responses has hardened my resolve to never shackle myself legally to another human: man, woman, or child. Wow, I just found this post, and I feel like I’ve just come across an oasis after a trek through the Sahara. I’m 25, and I’ve never had a long term relationship for many of the reasons your readers shared. With every date, every phone call, every email, I felt a bit of my independence slipping away. I stopped dating, and never felt deprived. I never thought much about marriage, and there’s no pressure since I am currently in school, and everyone says, “Oh, well of course you don’t have time now…” But I know there will be when I “grow up”. Reading these responses has hardened my resolve to never shackle myself legally to another human: man, woman, or child.

]]> By: Evolutionary Dead-Ends « Samuel J. Scott http://blog.iblamethepatriarchy.com/2007/06/13/the-post-on-marriage/#comment-138765 Evolutionary Dead-Ends « Samuel J. Scott Wed, 14 Jan 2009 23:15:12 +0000 http://blog.iblamethepatriarchy.com/2007/06/13/the-post-on-marriage/#comment-138765 [...] hath wrought: My understanding of reproduction is that it is the basis of the institutions of marriage and family, and those two provide the moorings to the structure of gender and sexual oppression. [...] [...] hath wrought: My understanding of reproduction is that it is the basis of the institutions of marriage and family, and those two provide the moorings to the structure of gender and sexual oppression. [...]

]]> By: Human Hating Feminists want to End “Oppressive” Human Reproduction « True Discernment http://blog.iblamethepatriarchy.com/2007/06/13/the-post-on-marriage/#comment-138503 Human Hating Feminists want to End “Oppressive” Human Reproduction « True Discernment Mon, 12 Jan 2009 18:10:10 +0000 http://blog.iblamethepatriarchy.com/2007/06/13/the-post-on-marriage/#comment-138503 [...] understanding of reproduction is that it is the basis of the institutions of marriage and family, and those two provide the moorings to the structure of gender and sexual [...] [...] understanding of reproduction is that it is the basis of the institutions of marriage and family, and those two provide the moorings to the structure of gender and sexual [...]

]]> By: Orson Scott Card is Crazy | Stump Lane http://blog.iblamethepatriarchy.com/2007/06/13/the-post-on-marriage/#comment-124212 Orson Scott Card is Crazy | Stump Lane Wed, 30 Jul 2008 15:38:09 +0000 http://blog.iblamethepatriarchy.com/2007/06/13/the-post-on-marriage/#comment-124212 [...] from acknowledging marriage is “the primary unit of patriarchal currency” there are particular (human rights) benefits to state recognized marriage that, as long as [...] [...] from acknowledging marriage is “the primary unit of patriarchal currency” there are particular (human rights) benefits to state recognized marriage that, as long as [...]

]]> By: nasha http://blog.iblamethepatriarchy.com/2007/06/13/the-post-on-marriage/#comment-121153 nasha Sat, 28 Jun 2008 19:56:39 +0000 http://blog.iblamethepatriarchy.com/2007/06/13/the-post-on-marriage/#comment-121153 this is probably the most alleviating thing i have read in a long time. i have been arguing against marriage because it is, as you say, the basic unit of patriarchy, ever since i started really reading about feminism- though not as eloquently as you. growing up in an indian family, with a lot of other indian families for a community, made me realize very early on that marriage was a poor deal for women and i've said since i was little that i don't want to be married. EVERYONE has told me that i will "grow up and change my mind". i'm open to spending my life with someone that i love, if we can have that kind of hippy love you mention, but... ugh. thank you thank you thank you for posting this- it's so good to know that there are others who feel the same way i do, that i'm not crazy and fighting a losing a battle. thank you! this is probably the most alleviating thing i have read in a long time. i have been arguing against marriage because it is, as you say, the basic unit of patriarchy, ever since i started really reading about feminism- though not as eloquently as you. growing up in an indian family, with a lot of other indian families for a community, made me realize very early on that marriage was a poor deal for women and i’ve said since i was little that i don’t want to be married. EVERYONE has told me that i will “grow up and change my mind”. i’m open to spending my life with someone that i love, if we can have that kind of hippy love you mention, but… ugh. thank you thank you thank you for posting this- it’s so good to know that there are others who feel the same way i do, that i’m not crazy and fighting a losing a battle. thank you!

]]> By: Jonathan http://blog.iblamethepatriarchy.com/2007/06/13/the-post-on-marriage/#comment-119844 Jonathan Sat, 07 Jun 2008 16:25:24 +0000 http://blog.iblamethepatriarchy.com/2007/06/13/the-post-on-marriage/#comment-119844 Right. $30,000 for a one-day wedding isn't big anymore, and people still expect the bride's family to foot the entire bill! That way we can impose an economic penalty on the families who value their daughters. You don't even need to be a married woman to be oppressed by marriage. All you have to be is a mother or father who cares about your daughter, and the marriage industry will be sure to take a chunk out of you. Right. $30,000 for a one-day wedding isn’t big anymore, and people still expect the bride’s family to foot the entire bill! That way we can impose an economic penalty on the families who value their daughters. You don’t even need to be a married woman to be oppressed by marriage. All you have to be is a mother or father who cares about your daughter, and the marriage industry will be sure to take a chunk out of you.

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