Comments on: The post on the post on marriage

By: island mamma

island mamma — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 20:32:07 +0000

whoa!
math class is in order!!!
single mom with income well under 30 000 a year, more like 8-12 000, raising 2 kids pay 20 dollars an hour for child care!!! interesting indeed
and someone else to clean up the shit…pretty fancy…
sure men are hired as PROFESSIONALS and paid VERY well for their work eg plumbers, electricians and landscapers.(because men have family to support, woman asumingly are under this blanket of support rather that supporting others)
Its funny how men of the house arent expected to know how to do these “manly” jobs and do them well around their work sheduals and i would like to say home sheduals but they tend to laze around because one is only required to use effort in life for work and work only if one has a dangly bit between the legs!
woman who have housecleaners and babysitters are looked down upon because they should inheritly be great at all of these jobs because of the vagina they posses….and they are expected to juggle a job plus household duties and mother hood duties and be ready and wet for their horny husbands anytime …. all while maintaining a perfect personal appearance and very clean house and attend meetings for the kids plus the kids extra activities and social programs…

By: Mar Iguana

Mar Iguana — Sat, 30 Jun 2007 20:27:40 +0000

I for one do remember that, the bewilderness, and I also informed the octopussygalore I would no longer be talking to what I still believe is someone trying to win that kegger back.

Thank you, delphyne, for exposing this rightwing, porn hound as a troll. I also am thankful for all the other brilliant blamers above who have the sand to take this slick troll on, point for point. You are better blamers than I since I can only seem to summon up a “just shut up” when I find my head exploding with the willful ignorance of the troll-mind: Maribelle, LouisaMayAlcott, Kali, et al.

By: thebewilderness

thebewilderness — Fri, 29 Jun 2007 23:00:54 +0000

While I realize that this is an old dead thread, I would just like to note that I, was the first, lo, these many months ago, to have the distinction of refusing to talk to octothingamy. Just in case Pony is keeping score.

By: bmc90

bmc90 — Tue, 26 Jun 2007 18:00:52 +0000

IBTP, too, Kali. It’s way too rigid about how it recognizes relationships legally. Personally, I think marriage should cease to have any legal meaning at all. No tax benefit, no automatic estate planning under the intestacy statute, no presumptions regarding property. All those things can be done with a check the box form filed at the local recorders office, which election can be rescinded upon the mutal agreement of the parties, and if they don’t agree, you can resort to what used to be family court to split up jointly held property and set child support payments/visitation scheudles. That way I can give my mom the right to pull the plug, leave all my money to my cousin, and enter a co-parenting contract with my child’s father, without having to marry anyone. However, a perfect world this ain’t.

By: Kali

Kali — Tue, 26 Jun 2007 16:35:48 +0000

I love my parents, my sister, my brother, my niece, my nephews, my friends. Nobody, however, is urging me to shack up with them, or get married to them. In fact, my sister would be much better off shacking up with me rather than her husband who has completely killed her spirit and happiness. But for some reason she believes his home is her home, and my home is a place where she would feel like a guest. I wonder why? IBTP.

By: bmc90

bmc90 — Tue, 26 Jun 2007 16:11:49 +0000

I knew you were going to flame me, Twisty, but you are so smart I adore you anyway. I could certainly shack up with hubby instead, but given the seeming permanance of our arrangement and stack of expensive paperwork the patriarchy will make me do in order to legally approximate matrimony with hubby, marriage is in fact easier and extremely tax advantaged. If you have to swim in the ocean, you may as well have fins and teeth. Of course, my prenup makes up for the ways in which the patriarchy will likewise take it out of my ass in the event hubby and I are ever done with each other and marriage. If it makes you feel any better, much of the tax savings support feminist causes. BTW, if I could legally marry or adopt my dogs, I most certainly would.

By: Twisty

Twisty — Tue, 26 Jun 2007 13:29:11 +0000

“I love my husband. I love a few other people, but him a lot. So that is why Iâ€™m married.”

The conflation of love and marriage is patriarchy’s slickest victory.

By: bmc90

bmc90 — Mon, 25 Jun 2007 19:40:12 +0000

Ok - I did not have time to read the entire thread because I am earning a living, so sorry in advance if this argument was made above. Taken to its logical conclusion, this argument would mean that all feminists would have to quit paid work entirely, subsistence farm, and spin yarn from Alpacas to make their own clothes. Every time I do anything from each a peach to pay a toll taker, I am arguably contributing to the supression of someone who is less well paid than me, on many levels. The fact that the person who cleans my house is more in my face instead of in an orchard, stocking shelves, or sorting quarters, is merely geographic. I pay $140 to have my house cleaned one time every two weeks. That is not exactly chump change if you have no other marketable skills. Hell, why should people pay me to do their legal work when with 3 years of law school and some diligence they could do their own (and if you think housework takes no special skill, watch my kids load the dishwasher). How about because many of them can’t/would rather have all their teeth yanked out by angry polar bears. Ya know what I did after seeing what is was like to live in a major city making less than 18K for three years? Got more education to get a better job. I won’t insult people by crying over the fact that they are exactly where I was economically at one point in my life, or dis-employing them because they are “oppressed.” Getting out my hanky won’t pay their rent next month. But this post is about marriage, and the house work discussion is in that context. Leaving the housework thing behind for a second, I love my husband. I love a few other people, but him a lot. So that is why I’m married. I could have loved a woman maybe. I do love my dogs but am not entirely content with canine companionship. It’s just that simple. I make no apology for it. I understand why gay people want to get married. I think I am fairly clear-eyed about matrimony, too. Half fail, another quarter must wish they were divorced - when you think about it marriage is a major act of hope and faith in love, even when people get married for the right reasons.

By: Mar Iguana

Mar Iguana — Fri, 22 Jun 2007 13:45:04 +0000

“But itâ€™s the moral ground I stand on: blame men first, ask questions later.” - mearl

Yes! That so works for me.

By: Edith

Edith — Fri, 22 Jun 2007 06:22:45 +0000

Well, at least there’s some defensiveness here. I’d rather see some of that then the responses the first post on marriage had, which were basically, “Gee Twisty, you’re so right! I’m going to have my husband read this!” Makes me want to bang my head against the wall. I guess arguments against marriage don’t hurt anyone’s feminist soul, for some reason.

But arguments against hiring to people to clean your house, now that’s a whole other thing!

For the record, I hate housework too. And I grew up in a honky middle class home in southern California and we — guess what? — never had a housecleaner. My personal solution for housework, known around these parts as the Edith Laundry Plan, leaves everything at my place sparkling. Well, not so much “sparkling” as “not violating any major health codes.” Huzzah! Revolution!