‘But, hey, if we demand that problems get addressed at the root level, we wouldn’t have such enjoyable things to sit around and bitch about.’

Really, Kate S, really? You like oppression because it means you get to complain? Which you’ve actually said in two of your comments.

You may be that pathetic but some of us actually want liberation, so please don’t tar us with the same brush. Honestly this whole ‘you feminists just love getting mad about stuff’ trope is not something I would expect to see here.

Before I’d really thought about it, I’d smacked the little pig up the snout with the heel of my hand. I can still hear a sharp crack, and I can still feel the cartilage of his snozz bend and break. Gushing blood, he went crying to the (male) principal and I received a nice patriarchal finger-wagging to the effect of: “you shouldn’t have let him provoke you” and that timeless old classic “boys will be boys”. As if I’d fucking tempted him to grab just by being there, as if I’d wanted him to humiliate me in front of lard-knows how many other students, as if I thought having my nipples pulled by some random monkey-chump was really, hilariously, funny.

I was duly suspended for a week for my ‘infraction’ and his parents had words with my carer, etc. To the best of my knowledge, he wasn’t formally punished. I doubt his parents did anything, as I saw him smacking the butt of another girl a few weeks later, though I decided not to get involved in that case as I didn’t want any more shit.

I couldn’t have put reasoned words, at thirteen, to what *really* got my goat about the whole thing. It wasn’t the humiliation, or even the principal’s dismissal (though they did irritate me). I know now – that I can describe what at the time seemed to be just a feeling of universal unfairness – it was the fact everyone thought it was acceptable for him to behave in that manner. My reaction was considered somehow deeply wrong, that I shouldn’t have punished the little shit for his bullying, that I shouldn’t have acted out my anger, but it was okay for him to enact his childish version of dominance out on me.

My view now, of course, is jaundiced by the knowledge that male priviledge exists on every level, and in every sphere of life. I only wish I’d known of blaming sooner. The lanky, awkward thirteen year old has become a lankier, awkward twenty year old with a degree, a jaded eye, and one other thing: I now blame the fucking patriarchy.

Peace, Twist. Long live the revolution!

The next day, I was called to the principal’s office. The little girl’s mother had complained that I had molested her daughter. The claim was that I had pushed the girl into a re-entrant building corner and had repeatedly groped her breasts (even though at eleven she had no breasts…a situation that didn’t change later in life).

Complicating my situation was the girl’s best friend offering witness testimony saying that she had seen me grope the girl. However, I maintained my innocence. The principal (knowing that I was a good kid) listened when I pointed out an inconsistency in their stories, and upon further questioning, the best friend admitted that she lied. I recieved vindication.

Honestly, when I pushed her back, I may have glanced against her chest… I don’t know because as a little boy my thought was just to push back when pushed. But somehow that turned into her telling her mother and the mother (along with a best friend’s lies) alleging I had forcefully groped and fondled someone.

What you need to remember is that there are many allegations that are lies… I can attest to it. Maybe its because of women’s lack of power in society, that some feel that they must play a victim to gain power.

One more point, everyone is talking about this as if a child hitting another child on the butt is sexual…it’s not. If an adult did that, yes, it would be sexual. Boy are spanked (much more than girls and primarily by their mothers) as a punishment. I would agree that it is a form of dominance, and should be stopped.

But, if these little boys go to jail for mimicking something that is done to them by their parents…I think I need to press charges on that girl that lied about me so many years ago. Seems like she might have put a decade (1/3) of my life a risk by her little power-grab stunt.

Also, I was once walking through a “haunted house” at Halloween time. Do you know that place in the haunted house that they always have–it’s completely dark, without a crack of light anywhere? One of the “workers” of the haunted house assaulted me in much the same manner. I felled him with a punch to the nuts. I did not tell anyone.

I admit to a sense of smug satisfaction, reading about the harsh punishment of these teenage rapists in training. Is it the proper punishment? Probably not. Even though a victim was defending them, there are others who are happy they are gone.

The boys’ supporters said things like “they clearly weren’t guilty of sexual assault”. Yes, grabbing breasts and slapping asses is assault, you just think it’s acceptable. NWCN, if you’re going to be biased, at least give the real reason.

I am one of those girls. I was groped, fondled, and pinched by a classmate in eighth grade multiple times each consecutive day of one week, all during French class. Nobody noticed (and frankly no one would care). When I read stories like this the only thing I can do is not only feel broken inside, but feel like I am being sexually abused all over again, by the people who claim these boys’ behavior is ok. I have really been wanting to speak out publicly against the way these boys have been defended and made into heroes, to relate what sexual abuse on school campuses does to girls, but I do not know who to contact or how to network to make that happen. I am sick and tired of the way girls and women are silenced to not speak out against the constant invasion and disrespect of their humanity and their bodies. I live in the Washington D.C. area. Does anyone know of who I can contact to network and effectively speak out against this?
Anyway, Twisty I am glad you made a post about this because it was so depressing seeing the way the media BSed with things to make the boys and their behavior look “harmless” while not asking the female victims of their “horseplay” what effect it had on them, the humiliation or pain they felt. I can imagine….

At the age of 37 I realised that I own my own body. Fuck those pricks. Fuck the metaphorical horses they rode in on.

Twisty, you are so right. A neanderthal circus training little rapists to become big nasty rapists who hate women. Why don’t they all simply get themselves fixed so they won’t feel any urges?

Another article that focuses entirely on the suffering of the sex offenders, with some nice internalised blame from the mother, too.

I hope you’re not implying that taking the administration of that one particular school to task, which is what you’ve advocated, would amount to addressing the problem at the root level any more than calling the cops does. The root level is male supremacy, and appealing to male supremacist institutions, such as school administrations and cops, will do nothing to put an end to it.

In this case, though, appealing to the cops at least has the benefit of being more punitive, which is appropriate, than a few days at home in front of a misogynist video game.

My concern is for the girls.

As is mine. I am also concerned for everyone else who gets caught up in the thinking that “it’s junior high” and “nothing can be done”.

By letting administrators call the cops, they have, as it were, copped out. These people have created a hostile environment for girls, female staff, children of color, immigrants, etc. ONLY when things progress past a certain point does anything happen and then it’s jail? Do you think for one minute that any of this has created a better environment in that school for much “lesser” forms of harassment that go under the radar? Dream on.

But, hey, if we demand that problems get addressed at the root level, we wouldn’t have such enjoyable things to sit around and bitch about.