«

»

Aug 16 2007

Enboobening the needy for the benefit of all: another episode in the normalization of prostitution

boobjobking.jpg
Internet pornographer Jason Gunstra’s desk accessories. Video capture from Yahoo!News “People of the Web: Hooter Heaven.”

Hurricane Erin is watering my lawn for me today, freeing me up to read wonderful things on the internet. Like the heartwarming story about another guy who pimps women on his “social website.” A true choice and master spirit of the age, this specimen pays women in boob jobs to supply his pervy subscribers with DIY porn.

Here’s how it works (there is no way I can describe this without an excess of quotation marks): Women who want “free” boob jobs sign up at myfreeimplants.com to “interact” with horndog “benefactors.” They do online chat and post hottt pixxx of themselves. The “benefactors” then “donate” loot to their favorite “real girl.” They can also “help the ladies” by selecting other services, such as purchasing their underwear and requesting “custom” photos and videos. The women continue this “participation” until they have racked up the 5 or 6 large necessary for their surgeries. One woman, who freely admits that “a lot of [the "benefactors"] are creeps,” estimates she has to spend 100 hours online for every $1000 in “donations.” Which, as the article points out, isn’t much more than minimum wage. But it’s “worth it,” because she’s always wanted “big ones.”

Why is this an example of women’s oppression rather than of sassy, boob-lovin’ ladies who know exactly what they’re getting into making an informed, empowerful choice?

The pimpy little predator who runs the site gets 25¢ for every dollar that goes to the women, which he can spend however he likes. He thinks of himself as a philanthropist. The woman, on the other hand, gets pornulated on the internet and invasive surgery to improve her conformity to male sexual ideals (i.e, to improve her “self-esteem”); paternalistically, the “donations” go directly to her surgeon. She thinks of herself as sex.

Prostitution, as Kate Millett said, is the very core of the female’s condition, and all women are political prisoners.

[Thanks, Nancy]

66 comments

  1. yankee transplant

    Oh dear gawd. How is it possible that nobody is telling these poor women the truth about life?
    I totally BTP

  2. kcb

    [pukes up breakfast]

  3. Ganza

    Articles like this make blaming the patriatchy so easy. Do we blame jackass website owner? Sort of, but his idea wouldn’t exist without an abundance of a) dudes who want naked women to talk to them, and b) women who want implants. Do we blame the dudes? Sort of, but the women on this site want the dudes to give them money, the dudes aren’t directly MAKING them get naked and talk to them. Do we blame the women on the site for wanting implants they can’t afford? Not really, because we can’t blame them for existing in a culture that rewards large tittedness.

    Do we blame the patriarchy that allows this whole system of women-as-sexual-commodity-to-be-profitted-off-of to flourish? Oh hell yes.

  4. Twisty

    Any dude who pays this pimp for porn is actively and directly choosing to exert power over a member of an oppressed class. He is entirely responsible for his active and direct participation in this exhibition of domination. So I do not “sort of” blame him. I vigorously blame him, and openly revile him.

  5. coyote

    IBTP for the women commenting on the Yahoo story, most of whom think there’s nothing wrong with this. At all.

  6. Orange

    Betcha a dollar at least one “benefactor” will try to deduct this “charitable giving” on his tax return. And these “benefactors” may feel good about the “charity’s” “fundraising expenses” being just 20% (the money Gunstra deducts for his own slimy pocket).

  7. weeza

    ‘We request that you be respectful of the ladies on this website.’
    Oh, that’s all right, then. Gah. IBTP.

  8. TinaH

    There are some men out there for whom I would simply prescribe a big old whoppin kick in the hoo-has. Do ‘em a world of good.

  9. MarilynJean

    Kinda with you on that one, Ganza. It’s even worse to see that what they earn is barely more than minimum wage. They might as well work a McJob and be exploited by Corporate America.

  10. Patti

    I know a young “cam-whore”, and it’s another case of a lot of young women who have been abused in childhood, seeking approval and validation the only way they know. It’s horribly sad. They’re often set up in competitions against each other for prizes. Some of the men that produce the sites are careful to choose women who haven’t done it before, and make the women sign agreements to only work with that particular man – they’re choosing the most naive women and isolating them. Pimpery indeed.

  11. Orange

    Did you see the NYT article today about the “democratization of cosmetic medicine”? That’s right. “With the advent of reality shows like ‘Extreme Makeover’ and the popularization of nonsurgical treatments like lasers and wrinkle injections, people with blue- or pink-collar incomes and Beverly Hills ideals are embracing vanity medicine.” There are a zillion companies that offer financing for plastic surgery to people with lousy credit. Sure, you pay an extra 10% in loan processing fees, but look: bigger boobs!

    Case in point: My unemployed/divorced/mother-of-three cousin financed her new breast implants even though she and the kids are living with her parents and she hasn’t worked since last fall. Can she afford the extra $6,000 in debt? Absolutely not.

    So there’s more than one awful way in which a poorer woman can scrounge up the money for bigger boobs: let herself be pornulated or mortgage her financial future.

  12. Marytracy9

    If he’s a benefactor, I’m a walking broccoli & cheese quiche. This whole thing is immoral at EVERY LEVEL. If every single person on this process actually HAD any morality, the whole thing would collapse. We should all take responsability for our actions.

    Good blaming!

  13. Shae

    I just read “Pornified” by Pamela Paul, and while in general I did not care for the book, it presented an interesting statistic: The number of 18-year-olds who got breast-implant surgery nearly tripled from 2002 to 2003. I can’t help but wonder what, exactly, was behind that?

  14. TinyTyrant

    I get really defensive when people judge poor people for buying things that they are fiercely marketed to want (need). Is going into debt to have bigger breasts a good financial move? I guess it depends. “Choices” available to poor women for earning money to keep them and their children housed, fed, and with appropriate childcare are slim and crappy. Some women strip or are engaged in other sex work because their bodies earn more than other menial jobs can provide. Some women look towards cohabitation with men. I don’t blame them for doing what they have to do to survive in this society.

    I do blame any man who exploits women. I also blame the patriarchy, of course.

  15. Ganza

    What galls me even more, MarilynJean, is that the not-so-good “money” that they’re earning is really just patriarchical store credit. What they get from pornifying themselves can only be spent in a way that makes them more desirable as a pornified object.

  16. norbizness

    And who says that our cosmetic health care system isn’t the finest in the world? Take THAT, Cuba!

  17. Orange

    TinyTyrant, my cousin had been making $20 an hour as a receptionist at a doctor’s office, and her parents help out a ton with childcare, so I wouldn’t place her in the category of poor women with only terrible options. And I sure as hell hope she’s not contemplating working as a stripper.

    Is it better that it’s easy to go into debt for bigger boobs, or would it be better if cosmetic surgery remained out of reach for those who lack the financial wherewithal to pay for it?

  18. tinytyrant

    I guess it would be better is cosmetic surgery was unavailable to everyone until needed health care was available to everyone, although those weren’t (and aren’t) my choices.

    Orange, I’m going to think about what you asked for awhile, because it’s a puzzler for me, and I’m not the fastest thinker. I mention it because I don’t want you to think I’m blowing it off, just thinking about it.

  19. thebewilderness

    Orange,
    Are thise the only choices? If so, the game is rigged.

  20. Twisty

    Should all women have equal access to invasive, mutilating surgeries? This question is like “have you stopped beating your wife?” Well, not really, but answering it does force you to make painful ideological concessions. You can’t answer “no” because you can’t support elitism, but then again you can’t answer “yes” because the idea that mutilating ourselves in the service of male sexuality is an inalienable human right is profoundly antifeminist.

  21. Victoria Marinelli

    Sorry, but the Kate Millett reference cracks me up. In the summer of 1992 I was a resident at her Farm and it was all pretty surreal, but nothing compared to when my girlfriend and I met up with her in St. Paul a year later. Said girlfriend being, as I’ve mentioned once before here, on the run from various of her ex pimps and needing help in a major way. We’d already exhausted all the obvious solutions, shelters, etc. – suffice it to say our situation didn’t exactly conform to the standard of hetero domestic violence so we were pretty much turned away from every possible source of assistance. So I was resorting to, you know, calling up major feminist theorists (okay, only one theorist) who’d actually written (apparently) sympathetic books on prostitution and saying things to the effect of, “You know in X book where you talked about taking in Y person because they were in trouble from Z?”

    I must say it didn’t go very well. Kate got drunk – extremely drunk – and wound up throwing furniture around while calling us whores and ordering us to do various household chores. No, I’m not kidding.

    That said, I have forgiven her. She had some… issues, and at the time of those events, so did we. My girlfriend, for one thing, was so freaked out that she was prohibitively hostile toward even potential allies who, naturally, were pretty off-put. Let’s just say that having spent her entire teens and early adulthood getting traded from pimp to pimp hadn’t done much for her social skills (as such, I forgive her, too), anymore than being constantly pilloried in the media (not to mention locked up in loony bins) had done much for Kate’s.

    Kate’s done a tremendous amount for feminism and is so frequently forgotten about. Someday I’ll have to re-read The Prostitution Papers and see how I react to it after all these years. I love her like I love my mother, which is to say irrevocably, even if we’re not on speaking terms.

    Here, just for the weirdness of it all, is Kate and me from ’92 (it was some weird party that night, we didn’t normally dress like this… um… to say the least):

    http://tinyurl.com/2sy2ab

  22. Melissa

    I have known quite some lesbians who have gone under the knife so plastic surgery just isn’t for looking good for men.

  23. Victoria Marinelli

    Also, sorry for apparent thread-hijackage. I just don’t often encounter blog posts referencing prostitution and Kate Millett in the same sentence. Carry on…

  24. Carol

    There are so many things wrong with this I don’t know where to start….

  25. Rumblelizard

    Did anyone else read about the link some Dutch researchers found between breast implants and an elevated risk of suicide?

  26. kiki

    How long until two breast are just not enough? Why not put on four? Four enormous udders. It’s enough to make one weep.

  27. Twisty

    Melissa said: “I have known quite some lesbians who have gone under the knife so plastic surgery just isn’t for looking good for men.”

    The beauty standard for women, which originates in dude-centric porn and the notion of the public woman-as-prostitute, is the same whether you’re gay or straight. Which means the oppressive force is still patriarchy.

  28. tinfoil hattie

    The beauty standard for women, which originates in dude-centric porn and the notion of the public woman-as-prostitute, is the same whether you’re gay or straight.

    Hence the terms “bull dyke” and “lipstick lesbian.”

  29. camipco

    I also btp for the general tone of reporting on the “free”implants website. Reporters seem to think it shows a plucky spirit of entrepreneurship. He gets compared to Newton and Franklin in the first sentence in a tone that’s not sufficiently sarcastic for my taste.

  30. Marcy

    This kind of stuff is why I’ve been ratcheting down my time spent reading stuff on the internet. I’m so damned depressed half the time over feminist issues and the other half of the time I’m scared witless from blogs about The Crash (TM).

    Then I run across some nice little tidbit that I had known about but repressed and then I got myself all worked up to the point where I couldn’t function at work.

    http://bonobobabe.wordpress.com/2007/08/15/i-really-fucking-hate-people/

    This is why I stay home and knit and spin and pet my yarn. Otherwise, I think I’d go bonkers. Or should I say more bonkers than I already am.

  31. Jeni

    Aw, I’m glad I read this before lunch. Nothing suppresses the appetite like the ol’ patriarchy.

    Wait, I wonder if the patriarchy suppresses my appetite in order to make me thinner and thus more desirable. I think I’ll try to force down a sandwich, in that case.

  32. Deuce

    “Enboobening” may very well be the most hilarious word ever.

    Congratulations, girls, you’re low-wage strippers! Enjoy the ta-tas.

  33. Hawise

    I don’t know, Jeni, something like this always makes me want to deepfry someone, oops, someTHING.

  34. Serinlea

    A friend of mine spent a few months as one of the girls on a site like that last year. She chose to block the IP addresses originating from her home state from viewing her profile, much to dismay of the skeezy fratboy “friend” who’d given her the webcam and told her about the site to begin with. *shudder*

    Thankfully, the novelty wore off pretty quickly and now she’s off doing beauty pageants instead. I worry about her.

  35. Serinlea

    Also, what happened to the right-clicking functionality? I am a Firefox/tabs junkie, and I will miss the ability to have three Twisty posts and their respective comments open at a time.

  36. bethany

    Sick. You mean the ONLY way these women can spend this money that they pornulate themselves for is on SURGERY??? Traditional prostitution is a much better deal.

  37. L.M.

    In “Beauty Junkies”, which has a lot of creepy plastic surgery stories but ends up endorsing plastic surgery because it’s “necessary”, the author signed up for one of these sites and tricked the men into giving her $90.

  38. Vera

    (Please excuse the sidetrack, Twisty) Serinlea, your comment caused me to download the latest Firefox to investigate. Firefox still supports right-clicking. When you right-click a link, you should see a menu with one choice being “Open Link in New Tab.” If this is not working for you, your mouse’s right button might be turned off or assigned to some other function. If you’re on a Mac, check Keyboard & Mouse System Preferences. On Windows I’m sure there’s a Keyboard and Mouse control panel or something similar. Not sure about Linux but if you’ve got Linux, you don’t need me, right?

  39. Twisty

    “the author signed up for one of these sites and tricked the men into giving her $90.”

    Like I always say, being sexually manipulative is so empowerfulizing.

  40. scrappyBadger

    TinyTyrant, I think you make a good point. While I can’t speak to the situation with Orange’s cousin (though $20/hr — 40k/yr — doesn’t sound like an overabundance of money to me if you have kids), lots of women in low paying jobs would see this as something of an investment opportunity. I got a haircut at one of those super cheap chains yesterday. One stylist told the other that she had “too much boobage.”** To which stylist #2 said something like, “Yeah, I probably do. I get a whole lot of stuff with them though.” It is a sentiment shared by lots of women. And of course, the bigger and perkier they are (and if they are attached to a body that is relatively in-line with beauty standards), the bigger and better the stuff is that you get for them. The argument for breast enhancement, then, is somewhat similar to buying a house. You put down your money, make some “improvements,” and hope for a good return on your investment.

    You said, “‘Choices’ available to poor women for earning money to keep them and their children housed, fed, and with appropriate childcare are slim and crappy. Some women strip or are engaged in other sex work because their bodies earn more than other menial jobs can provide.”

    And those are the more obvious cases. Women have resorted to using their bodies even when they work in low-paid jobs that don’t involve any form of sex work. Because men are so gross, breasts can make the difference in wages or being hired in the first place. So, the investment pays off even if you work as a grocery store cashier!

    It’s all messed up.

  41. scrappyBadger

    Oops, I forgot to expound on the ** from above. I wanted to add that everywhere I go these days women are talking tit. It just goes to show how much of their identity is tied up in their body (or one small part of it).

  42. CoolAunt

    Orange posted this:

    “Case in point: My unemployed/divorced/mother-of-three cousin financed her new breast implants even though she and the kids are living with her parents and she hasn’t worked since last fall. Can she afford the extra $6,000 in debt? Absolutely not.

    So there’s more than one awful way in which a poorer woman can scrounge up the money for bigger boobs: let herself be pornulated or mortgage her financial future.”

    …and this:

    TinyTyrant, my cousin had been making $20 an hour as a receptionist at a doctor’s office, and her parents help out a ton with childcare, so I wouldn’t place her in the category of poor women with only terrible options. And I sure as hell hope she’s not contemplating working as a stripper.

    Is it better that it’s easy to go into debt for bigger boobs, or would it be better if cosmetic surgery remained out of reach for those who lack the financial wherewithal to pay for it?”

    Orange, I won’t ask you whether your cousin is poor or not, although she’s been described as both by you, because it doesn’t matter. The choices available to all women, whether rich or poor or in between, are limited. At the same time, the demands placed upon women by the patriarchy are infinite.

    Your cousin, like all other women, has been taught and is reminded daily by family, friends, coworkers and the media that she is supposed to look a certain way, that attracting and keeping the male gaze is her life’s purpose and goal. She’s also told, by the P, the media and maybe even her family and friends, that as the mother of small children, she’s supposed to be married, that she needs to find a daddy for her babies. Every day, she’s reminded of how she’s supposed to look in order to attract those potential new daddies for her babies, if not by the people in her life then by media images she sees anew or even by some of the millions of them that are stored in her memory.

    I’ve no doubt that in her mind, to be acceptable and accepted in this patriarchal society, which may be only a perceived need and not a real need to you and me but probably feels like a very real need to her and millions of other women, she needs to look like the media-created image of the ideal woman. Therefore, to her and millions of other women, the need for the large, round, bulbous, man-made and porn-endorsed breasts is a very real need.

    I don’t blame your cousin or any of the millions of women who think they need to wear large, round, silicone balls on their chests where baby feedbags used to be. Instead, I blame the patriarchy.

  43. Twisty

    Hey youse guys. I put a right-click-disable script in my template, for reasons I am not at liberty to discuss. It will be gone soon.

  44. PhysioProf

    “[T]he idea that mutilating ourselves in the service of male sexuality is an inalienable human right is profoundly antifeminist.”

    This raises an interesting point, one that has been the subject of discussion on Jack Balkin’s legal blog recently. Where one comes out on whether a particular activity is protected as an inalienable human right depends heavily on the breadth with which one frames the right.

    For example, one is more likely to conclude–both legally and ethically–that procuring an abortion is protected as an inalienable right when that right is characterized as the right to bodily autonomy, than when it is characterized as the right to terminate a pregnancy.

  45. PhysioProf

    “Also, what happened to the right-clicking functionality?”

    If you just click the “ok” button in the “Function Disabled!” dialog box that appears when you right-click a link, the right-click menu should then appear and you can open the link in a new tab. At least, this is what happens for me.

    It does seem to be some new behavior.

  46. Orange

    Incredibly well said, CoolAunt.

  47. slythwolf

    That thing that happens with the right-click menu still coming up after or with the dialog box only happens to me when I have scripts turned off for the site. (I have the Firefox addon that automatically disables scripts everywhere and I have to go in and allow them; it’s really been useful, I have had hardly any adware or spyware since I got it.) Since I have scripts turned on for Twisty because I trust her, I can’t right-click, but what I do is click on whatever link, copy the URL from the nav bar, utilize my back button, open a new tab, paste and hit enter. Works like a charm.

    My mom’s close friend and former boss got implants because she didn’t feel like a “real” woman with small breasts. My mom, who is not as advanced a blamer as we, seems to think this makes it a non-patriarchy-driven choice, but as I’m sure everyone here knows the fact that a woman with small breasts doesn’t feel like a “real” woman is in fact because the patriarchy tells us we’re supposed to be shaped like the women in porn.

  48. TinyTyrant

    I think, first, that predatory lending for anything is disgusting and only exists to keep poor people in the constant, impossible struggle of paying all the bills. As such, I think that it should be banned. This won’t happen, of course, because poor people have very little political power. Further, unless there are accessible loans at rates that are fair, this would make it very difficult for poor people to access any of the things that are typically financed.

    I think that breast implants are bought by women for different reasons. Obviously sex workers have a financial interest in having larger breasts, as they are fetishized in our culture. Other women too may have a less direct, but financial interest related to their relationships with men, or prospective relationships with them. It becomes difficult to tease out what personal interests are or why someone would choose this, so we should leave it to women themselves to do.

    Finally, I hate it when people judge poor people for the (perceived) bad choices that they make with their money. In it I hear a couple of things (and I’m not saying this is what you say, but what I hear). I hear that they don’t deserve the things they are buying. The other subtext I hear is that this is the reason why these people are poor, their bad money management. This view of poverty is transitory, and blames the poor for their own oppression. The reality for me is that being poor isn’t something that will pass soon, as it hasn’t yet. Some of the choices I’ve made with money would probably be seen by an outsider as foolish or irresponsible, but if I hadn’t made them then I would have never experienced some of the truly great things in my life (none of which were surgical, or beauty related). Because the struggle never ends, no matter how I manage my money.

    I blame the patriarchy, and on some days I choose individual patriarchs to loathe and blame.

  49. Soygirl

    I believe I just drove massive amounts of traffic to your blog through posting this on a very popular forum, populated largely by males – so far the thread has over 18,000 views and it hasn’t even been up for 24 hours. I must say that the arguing within the thread is pretty deplorable, but a lot of people are seeing this.

  50. Vera

    I may have written this comment on a previous blog post. I’m having a sense of deja-vu.

    The middle schools in our town have a “Career Night” every spring, and a couple of years ago there was a mild uproar when parents leaned that the school had invited a speaker who, lacking counselling credentials, was included on the grounds that he was “entertaining to the kids.” The uproar ensued because one of the highly entertained kids told his parents that the speaker had listed “stripping” as a career option for girls, and noted that “research had shown” that a stripper’s salary will increase with every inch she adds to her bustline through surgery. He discussed this as “investing in your career.”

    The school had invited him three years in a row. He was speaking to 12-year-olds.

  51. Liz

    Founding member of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee over here. I would love to have bigger ones, for the sole purpose of actually being able to buy a bra that fits (grr!), but I would NEVER, even if someone PAID me, get implants. They’re fake-looking, they’re dangerous, and I’d really rather not have to start saying “I’m up here!”

    I wish more women could be comfortable with the hand that genetics dealt them, but as long as you’re expected to have a wasp waist and giant jugs, that won’t happen.

  52. Rumblelizard

    Vera, that makes me want to puke. If I had daughters and if they went to that school, I would be livid, and would be at every school board meeting calling for the heads of the decision-makers who hired that unfunny clown on a platter.

  53. Queen of Spades

    To paraphrase Twisty, Ganza and numerous other blamers:

    The patriarchy looks approvingly upon and rewards large breasts.

    No, it really doesn’t. Getting breast implants means that you have fake breasts, not large breasts, and the two aren’t even vaguely related.

    I am a 34DD, one of the most common cup sizes for silicone-enhanced porn stars and nude models, and you’d better bet that my breasts look nothing like fake boobs. Absolutely nothing. The natural shape of large breasts — real boobs, not gravity-defying silicone — is widely regarded in our culture as “saggy” and “disgusting” and udder-like and any number of other epithets. The natural motion of my boobs is supposedly horrifying; the fact that they don’t sit on my chest like two bowling balls makes me ugly, fat and cow-like.

    The patriarchy rewards large breasts? Please. Not unless those breasts are unaffected by gravity, perfectly symmetrical, very round, sit high on your chest and don’t come with the other physical characteristics most large-breasted women have. In short, the patriarchy rewards an idealized, non-existent version of large breasts. Women with naturally large breasts are a niche fetish, somewhere between fat women and chicks who don’t shave.

    I bring this up not because I think it’s particularly egregious that Blamers assume that the patriarchy rewards large boobs. It’s to point out that Yea Old P. is even more obnoxious and insiduous than you think — the patriarchy rewards and enforces a boobular standard that can’t possibly exist, period unless you have fake breasts.

    In short, you can’t possibly live up to the ideal unless you mutilate yourself.

    IBTP.

  54. Anon

    What freaks me out is that this makes *NO SENSE EVEN WITHIN THE LOGIC OF PATRIARCHY*

    Why do these women want larger breasts? Because larger breasts will make them Teh Sexehh.

    How do these women *get* larger breasts? By participating in pornographic exploitation, which men consume.

    So these women are apparantly already Sexehh(TM) enough for men to pay money to degrade them… so that they can become ever more Sexehh(TM)?

    Yeah, I know the patriarchy actually does not make sense.

  55. Blamerella

    What TinyTyrant said re: poverty and being judged on the choices you make with your extremely limited resources. I’m frequently annoyed by the easily strewn canard that poor people are poor because they squander their money. Usually it’s beer, cigs, and drugs but now I guess we can add boob jobs and other appearance expenditures.

    At any rate, the people who condemn poor people for buying those things act as if no middle- or upper-class people ever drink, smoke, or get high. Somehow, poor people with their shitty lives scratching out subsistence are supposed to be remarkably impervious to mass marketing or the very human drive to temporarily escape reality through mind alteration. But now I get what TinyTyrant is saying about being deemed deserving of those things. Fine, upstanding contributors to the megalo-maniacal mega-machine of capitalism (like Paris Hilton for example) are entitled to their cocktails and ciggies. Poor and working class people are to be scolded for not being more abstemious.

    As for cosmetic surgery being financed through credit, it sickens me. However, I can completely understand the motivation of a woman to do it and IBTP for it, not her.

  56. Twisty

    Nice blaming, Queen of Spades.

  57. CuriouserAndCuriouser

    CoolAunt, your comment gave me a sharp wake-up call – I sometimes catch myself feeling smug because “I know better than these other foolish women who tie themselves in knots to please men”.

    The other day I saw a woman who *had* to have had implants, her boobs (sorry, they simply were not breasts) were like the pneumatic prow of a ship preceding her and parting the crowd, every eye glued on her prominent – jeez, I’m sounding like a dude here. I mean, they were absolutely the very first thing I noticed about her, I could hardly even look at her face because I was trying so hard not to laugh. I seriously had a *split* second where I thought it was some kind of joke, they were so ludicrous-looking. But then I realized from the look on her face that it was no joke.

    I had to turn away because I felt embarassed for her, and also ashamed of my inability to feel empathy for her and keep a straight face. I mainly felt sad that she’d made such a clown of herself for her asshat boyfriend (or whatever her reason). I had this feeling that she must have just gotten them done and was discovering that the rewards were maybe not all they’re cracked up to be, as it seemed she was quite aware (and possibly painfully so) of my ill-concealed amusement. And I’m sure I’m not the only one who was either openly laughing at her or giving her the ol’ stink-eye.

    Then I felt bad, and felt really sorry for her.

    Your words remind me how painful the so-called ‘choices’ truly are, regardless of what any woman’s individual story may be.

  58. Lara

    I hear ya Queen of Spades, I wear usually a 34D, smaller than you, and let me tell you without a bra I definitely do not look even remotely like a porn star. And I am relatively slim too. You’ve described perfectly how…evil and manipulative the patriarchy is. It really all comes down to money and using women as a sex class, as chattle, to gratify men and make them money at the same time. And let’s think about this: men are socialized to think not only that fake porntastic bodies are attractive but also that exploiting women is supposedly not exploitation at all…it’s normal! Amazing how the “sex” industry is lauded as being “appreciative” of women’s bodies when it does the complete opposite: it loathes and spits down upon any natural elements of a woman’s body.
    And let me tell you: the experience of guys (and women!) staring at my chest instead of my face when I talk to them, on top of the back pain, is NOT fun…

  59. Lara

    By the way, can anyone find a larger-sized photo of Jason Grunstra than the one found on the Yahoo news link? I have an evil plan (rubbing hands together in glee)….hehe….

  60. Blamerella

    Queen of Spades, I feel you as well. As a woman with the patriarchally-approved large breasts, but without the requisite lithe body, I get the worst of both worlds. I’m still a big-titted bimbo to the vast majority of people perceiving me visually, but I don’t get any of the social brownie points accrued to the silicone-enhanced skinny trophy wives.

    But I love my breasts. I like to grab and squeeze them when I’m feeling scared or down. They comfort me. They bring me down to earth. They’re beautiful, even if they don’t meet Playboy standards. Fuck Playboy and the P. Two of my good friends have had their breasts removed due to cancer. I will never disparage or denigrate mine, as long as I have them.

  61. scrappybadger

    Queen of Spades said, “The natural motion of my boobs is supposedly horrifying.”

    You are so right. I hardly ever wear a bra when I’m at home because none of them fit right, and I’ve started to have what I think is nerve damage (permanent numbness) on the tops of my shoulders from the weight of my breasts pulling on bra straps. Sometimes I feel kind of giddy thinking I might be grossing out our asshole neighbors when I walk around outside and my breasts swing out in opposite directions and then back toward one another. It’s quite an unusual, and kinda funny, motion.

  62. CoolAunt

    Thank you, Orange.

    CuriouserAndCuriouser, I’m glad I could help, especially since it’s been only recently that my smug ass has been knocked off my high-horse. And believe me when I tell you, I was way more smug than you for way many more years than you. It sure was painfully humbling but necessary for my growth as a person.

    “But I love my breasts. I like to grab and squeeze them when I’m feeling scared or down. They comfort me. They bring me down to earth.”
    Blamerella, when I first read that in your post, my first thoughts were that you were being porn-creepy. Then I realized that you weren’t being creepy at all. Instead, even though I don’t look at porn, my poor brain has been so pornified by our pro-porn culture that my first thought and assumption was porn-tainted. That’s so totally fucked up. IBTP.

  63. Katbread

    Pornified…where does this wonderful new word come from? I’ve never heard it before I saw this website and I am absolutely gleeful over it. Is it from general feminist literature or just site-specific slang?

    Oh, and on topic, I personally have large breasts. I also have back pain and a terrible track record with supposedly platonic male friends sticking around just for a chance to even “accidentally” brush their elbows against them. Although in leui of that (somewhat recent) revelation I suppose I’ve gotten some material possessions out of them, I’m completely baffled as to why someone would get rock-hard parodies of breasts for the same “benefits”.

  64. CoolAunt

    Katbread, “Pornified” is the title of a book by Pamela Paul, which is where I assume the word originated. I couldn’t read past the first few pages of Paul’s book because reading the callous disregard of women in the quotes of her interviewees made me feel sad and hopeless about the future of women and therefore hopeless about the future of this world, but I don’t think that Paul is a feminist or that the book was written from a feminist perspective. From what little of the book that I was able to read and mostly what I’ve read about the book, it’s by means pro-porn. At the same time, if Paul share’s my feelings of offense and outrage at such blatant misogyny, her words don’t show it.

  65. CoolAunt

    I meant to post:

    From what little of the book that I was able to read and mostly what I’ve read about the book, it’s by no means pro-porn.

  66. camipco

    I think appeal of porn to the patriarchy isn’t aesthetic, it’s the exploitation in itself.

    I agree with Queen of Spades that the oppressive patriarchal beauty standards wouldn’t be interested in her natural breasts for, say, the front cover of Maxim. But there are pornographers who would be delighted to exploit her. There’s porn that specializes on exploiting women who don’t fit the beauty standard; be they older, larger or smaller chested, whatever.

    Anon mentioned the inconsistency about using these women for porn when their breasts aren’t ‘big enough’ yet. I don’t think it’s the particular shape of their breasts that’s appealing to the patriarchy, it’s the women’s willingness to participate in their own exploitation and mutilation.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>