Comments on: Chapter and verse

By: magickitty

magickitty — Tue, 04 Sep 2007 04:23:30 +0000

Yes, I’m a few days late, but I was on holiday. I loved the fanfic segue so much that I blew mac’n'cheese out of my nose.

By: thebewilderness

thebewilderness — Sat, 01 Sep 2007 20:56:21 +0000

Roove,
Whatever you decide to do with it I’m convinced it needs two ‘t’s, and I’ll have a few dozen copies of the Roove testament, too.

By: Colleen

Colleen — Sat, 01 Sep 2007 16:58:23 +0000

I’d like to place an order for two dozen copies of the Roov Bible as soon as it becomes available. One for personal use, the others to be distributed at high velocity to the many annoying godbags on my street.

By: Jessica J

Jessica J — Sat, 01 Sep 2007 16:01:44 +0000

I took my undergraduate degree in Religious Studies, and one of my New Testament professors was fond of reminding us that the original Greek of the New Testament was far more gender-egalitarian than any modern-day translation into any living language. He especially hated the Living Bible translation, which was basically an entitled dude with no critical, scholastic, or linguistic background paraphrasing and simplifying the New Testament. Most liberal Christians use the New Revised Standard Version, which eliminates some of the gender-exclusive language.

Marie and others, I would recommend the works of John Shelby Spong, John Dominic Crossan, Elaine Pagels, and Marcus Borg. Start with “Rescuing the Bible From Fundamentalism: A Bishop Rethinks the Meaning of Scripture” by Spong.

By: Roov

Roov — Sat, 01 Sep 2007 15:51:46 +0000

I would cast my vote for ’smited’ rather than ’smoted’ if we’re looking to get away from ’smitten.’

Take the roughly similar word ‘fight’ (although there is of course no ‘fitten’ equivalent past tense). ‘Foughted’ would be kind of like ’smoted,’ in that they’re both doubly past tense, and therefore redundant. ‘Fighted,’ on the other hand, while not good English in our present standard dialect, does conform to the grammatical logic of the language.

Likewise, ’smited’ is logically a past tense of the verb ’smite,’ while ’smoted’ is the past tense of a past tense. Maybe that’s good for talking about people you smote in past lives?

(In generations past, I walked the earth in many different forms, forever encountering irritating entitlement-claimers, and I blameded the patriarchy, and thoughted hard on what was to be done, and in the end I smoted those dudes, but good.)

By: Crystal

Crystal — Sat, 01 Sep 2007 11:41:50 +0000

The great thing about the Bible is that it has something for everyone. I believe that this is the part intended for the wominfolk, kids, and poor folk. There are other sections for the different segments of society.
Mr. Kate: I’ve also always been of the opinion that the Roman is definitely the most offensive contribution to the Roman Catholic Church. Combine Romans and religion and what can you expect?
In defense of the Bible, though, I have to say that while I find it hard to imagine actually using it as the sole basis for my belief system, it’s fascinating on an aesthetic and esoteric level.

By: thebewilderness

thebewilderness — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 20:45:49 +0000

I believe Roov is right; you (past tense) smote, he/she/it was smitten.

Roove is indeed right, but smitten has been coopted by romance writers and turned into a kitten rhyme.
If the godbags can edit Jesus, I see no reason why we cannot mangle around until we replace smitten with smoted.

Neither Luke nor Paul ever met Jesus, but at least Luke did a few interviews. Paul just seems to have run out in front of the parade and declared himself to be the one who knew what Jesus rilly, rilly meant. No big surprise that it was the same patriarchial pharisee crap that Paul was trained in and Jesus repudiated.
He seems to me to be the model that every organized religion follows to this day.
As a Christian, I am opposed to organized religion.

By: SueWho

SueWho — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 20:17:28 +0000

E - I just spent a solid hour roaming the Brick Testament. Wow. My favorites - Jacob’s Wives Compete and Instructions for Women. The scary thing? I thought it was farce until I looked up some of the quotes and discovered that it really says “I give no permission for a woman to teach or to have authority over a man. A woman ought to be quiet.” 1 Timothy 2:11-12

Unbelievable. IBTP.

By: Tupe

Tupe — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 20:15:29 +0000

There’s a Catholic hospital right around the corner from my Nigel’s house, a house which is technically owned by the hospital. When they were trying to get a co-housing project underway the Catholic hospital tried to dissuade them by asking them sign a contract saying that the co-housers would abide by Catholic morals and ethics. Nigel gave the example that our local lesbian politician would be allowed to attend house parties but not to do anything the hospital thought was “in support of being gay.” And I’ll bet if you were dying from a self-induced abortion they’d save your life, but lock you up with the Catholic social worker for eight hours repentance. Anyway, you get the idea. Then yesterday I see two old white dudes taking a stroll around the hospital block with a big red and black sign. It read: “Sterilizations Performed Here / Sterilization Offends God”

Whassamatter with these people? They don’t seem to know their allies when they smack them upside the cheek with God’s rulebook on manners. Anyway, just my two cents on godbags this week.

By: Medbh

Medbh — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 19:33:42 +0000

My eyes glazed over when it came to the quotes. I’ve trained myself to hear “la-la-la” in my head whenever I’m confronted with the jeebus book.