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Sep 21 2007

Still not dead

knifes.jpg

I found this incredible store, and I’ve been shopping my ass off.

137 comments

  1. kcb

    Sweet jeebus, I’ve been looking all over town for “Father’s Love” brand knives.

  2. Jodie

    What IS it with misuse of apostrophes?

  3. schatze

    At least they passed up many opportunities to misuse apostrophes on the main sign. I have to wonder why about that as well. Apostrophe abuse could be the #1 killer of English in America. Well, it’s up there.

  4. josie my source of most frustration

    Wait, I am confused. Is that a brand of knives or is it a helpful and informative statement that fathers (as a cohesive group) love knives?

  5. dingbat

    Purveyors of “Fantasy knives”?! Finally, my search comes to an end! Somebody’s going to be getting a dragon-tongue pearl-encrusted rapier in their stocking this Christmas…

  6. larkspur

    Jeez, I hope it’s apostrophe abuse. I mean, think of it: Angelina’s Love Knife. Or Billy Bob’s Love Knife.

    But I have to say I like the “Knife Sharpist” appellation. It takes the profession to a new level. I’m not making fun here. Sharpen your knives at home, and you’re temporarily a knife-sharpener. Do it as your life’s work, and you become a Sharpist.

    Twisty, will purchase pix follow?

  7. TP

    Oh, I thought that said ‘Father Rapist’ at first.

  8. Panic

    Superfluous apostrophes are my biggest pet peeve. I would not purchase a knife from such a store. My Dad does love knives, but just the cooking ones.

  9. Puffin

    I too was thrown off by the apostrophe, thinking to myself, “Good god, what is a love knife???” And that they belonged to Father took it to a whole new level of creepy.

    And then I realized it’s probably just that they’re asserting that fathers love knives, but what the hell does that mean? Because there’s nothing like having a kid that makes you appreciate the cold, cool feel of a sharpened blade in your hand? Still creepy!

  10. Amanda Marcotte

    Ha, you’re wandering into my way-out neighborhood.

  11. Alex

    So Spinster Aunt’s Love Knives, too, eh? It’s an apostrotastrophe! It’s almost as good as “unnecessary” quotation “marks”.

  12. Kathryn

    are love knives like love handles?

  13. Kristen

    Hilarious! Those motherf***er’s!

  14. sammy

    Oh glord, apostrophe abuse. I deal with it daily in my work place. Why, just yesterday there was a note left that contained not one, not two, but THREE instances of such abuse. One of them was “thank’s”. Shudder.

    This whole “shopping my ass off” thing is cracking me up, by the way!

  15. Endora

    The lack of superfluous quotation marks comes as a shock. I would have thought that the whole father/knife line would have been lovingly enclosed between them.

  16. slythwolf

    When I see the phrase “Father’s Love Knives” it makes me think there is a Christian brand of knives. You know, the Father’s love.

  17. Cisslepants

    Seriously, I don’t really think that there’s anywhere in Austin consistently weirder than Burnet Road. I’m sad I don’t live in that neighborhood anymore.
    My Nigel bought me an awesome chef’s knife from there last year. He said it was a pretty strange store, and the thing the Statesman did on it last month would seem to back up that impression.

    P.S. You should go to Maru across the street from there. It’s awesome sushi, and not terribly expensive.

  18. lawbitch

    Being a true Texas girl, my father has already presented me with a knife big and sharp enough to dress a deer, so I don’t need to go to that store. Yes, he did love knives.

  19. Antoinette Niebieszczanski

    My dad was more of a fire kinda guy. In my family the “loves knives” gene was matrilinear.

  20. cranterp

    Grammar lovers, you should all read “Eats, Shoots and Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation” by Lynne Truss.

  21. Mwezzi

    I read that sign and thought, “Father is love knives? So is I!” I was worried about myself (for several reasons) immediately after that thought.

  22. Joolya

    Holy Freudian Apostrophe, Batman!

    Little Jimmy, the pre-born soldier in the army of the Lord, was rudely awakened when “father’s love knife” started carving into “mommy’s bundt cake”.

    Blech!

  23. Niki

    I, too, cringed at ‘Father’s Love Knives’ because I thought it was some sort of Christian brand of knives that fathers used for…*shuddering*…God only knows what kind of “love”.

    Yay for not dead.

  24. stekatz

    Glad you’re not dead. I’m on vacation, and so deprived was I of Twisty wisdom that I’m checking this from an Apple Store in Santa Monica while Nigel and the Young Blamer play Lego Star Wars.

    I’m thinking: Jimmy get your hands off of those! You know you’re not supposed to touch Father’s Love Knives!

  25. kcb

    Joolya, I salute you.

  26. saltyC

    When Poor deer dress love knives’r big enough.

  27. saltyC

    Methinks dad’s love knife a rather blunt multi tool.
    Not the sharpist of the bunch.

  28. Frigga's Own

    Don’t give into temptation Twisty, those swords are all probably 440 stainless. Great for putting up on a wall for decoration, but they don’t hold an edge.

    Not only do “Father’s” love knives, “Ren Faire Enthusiast’s” are also big into blades.

  29. yankee transplant

    Still glad you’re still not dead.

  30. andrew

    I once took a bus past a store called Dad’s Liquor, somewhere in rural Vermont. That was nice and to the point, but there’s nothing like a good ol’ grocer’s apostrophe. Thank you, Twisty.

  31. ::wendy::

    As a teenager my Finish father took us to Helsinki where the whole family went into a knife store and he ceremoniously bought is all the knife of our choice (mum and I included) then we went out to wittle wood from fallen trees to celebrate. I thought it fun at the time. I now consider my family pleasantly bizarre. They may like Texas. My apostrophe use has always been seriously below par.

  32. Dawn Coyote

    “Knife Sharpist”? That reminds me of a friend of mine who used to say, “I’m not an alcoholic. I like to think of myself as an alcoholist. It just sounds more professional.”

    And dingbat, puhleeze – enough with the covert sex-talk. “Somebody’s going to be getting a dragon-tongue pearl-encrusted rapier in their stocking this Christmas…” Indeed.

  33. Dawn Coyote

    Ew. I didn’t mean to make a penis-knife reference. It was more an oblong-object-in-sleeve reference. A joke, see?

  34. jc.

    With or without the apostrophe the sign gave me a deep chill and a whole new twist on my freudian castration complex plus a deeper perception of the causes, problems and social mechanisims of dysfunctional families in Texas.

  35. Ron Sullivan

    A Father’s love knife would be what Abraham was fixin to use on Isaac, no?

  36. Susan

    I’m glad you’re not dead and have the energy to shop, although I have missed the blaming. BTW, I giggled when I saw this version of your #1 Jam:

    http://www.coverville.com/archives/2007/09/totos_africa_co.html

  37. KMTberry

    I went there and got: set of six kitchen knives, two pruners, three long-handled loppers, and a pair of scissors sharpened for $30. Plus they wrapped them all up safely in newspaper for transport home.

    MARU rocks! But they aren’t open between lunch and dinner, so go early. Knife Sharpist will sharpen your knives while you have lunch!

  38. tinfoil hattie

    Mother’s hate knives. There place is in the home, anyway.

  39. Cass

    I don’t get it: why should I shell out money for their fantasy knife, and why is it better than mine to begin with?

  40. Narya

    I had to read that sign several times before I figured out it was Apostrophe Abuse rearing its ugly head again. (Or it’s head, if the sign painter had written that sentence.)

  41. Reverend B. Dagger Lee

    I gotta buttload of Godbag’s Love Shit and I’m willing to share the love!

  42. meg

    If you’re looking to join in some blaming while Twisty is out shopping and being not dead, there’s a whole debate going on at grist about PETA’s most recent incident of exploiting women in order to prevent exploitation of animals:
    http://www.grist.org/etc/gristlist/2007/09/21/index.html

    Interestingly, their most recent PSA was banned from being shown on Comcast in Texas.

    Also of interest in this same article: the Russian government is apparently offering time off work and free SUVs to encourage women to have kids.

  43. Edith

    I was thinking “love knives” as in, like, “love children.” Father is having extra-marital relations with the sword swallower or something.

  44. Twisty

    “BTW, I giggled when I saw this version of your #1 Jam:
    http://www.coverville.com/archives/2007/09/totos_africa_co.html

    Christ, it’s almost like they’ll put anybody on YouTube.

  45. PhoenixRising

    Because there’s nothing like having a kid that makes you appreciate the cold, cool feel of a sharpened blade in your hand?

    Um, yeah.

    And Twisty, do you need a better picture of my BBQ joint incomprehensible sign in order to get this crack team of patriarchy interpreters on the case? My lil’ blamer awaits the wisdom of the group.

  46. kate

    Nothing like a Father’s Love Knife stuck in your back, especially one from the Sharpist.

  47. Miller

    Good Lord! There’s even “fantasy” knives.

  48. Amanda

    Twisty!!! You must come back! Leave the store! Resist the impulse to take advantage of your desire to stock up weapons!

    The women of the world need your help… especially when dozens of women on campus of the university that I got to that were just drugged with GHB… Who could possibly put these bastards into their rhetorical places.

    http://antigonemagazine.blogspot.com/2007/09/female-students-drugged-at-ubc.html

  49. Mao

    Similar to “Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse”, which always puzzled me as well.

  50. lawbitch

    Knife lovers in Finland! Who knew?!?

    I got some Henckel knives for the kitchen and they’re awesome. That’s normal, though. LOL!

  51. KMTberry

    I thought when you said “Twisty’s Number One Jam” you were referring to “Tool of the Patriarchy”…..(You know, the one that goes: “You’re a Too-too-too-too-toool of the Pat-re-arch-eeee”.

    What a dissappointment that it was some dude covering “Africa”. I would have much rather seen some dude with a guitar covering TOTP.

  52. thebewilderness

    Have a sing along.

    http://youtube.com/watch?v=O-A2j5i2m9w

  53. Kim

    SaltyC – NICELY done!

  54. Miller

    When I clicked on the YouTube link all these related videos came out in which feminists are slandered as anti-male bigots. Mind you, anti-female bigotry is more than acceptable to these so-called freedom fighters.

    I once typed “rape” in the YouTube search and I was terrified at the scale of videos glorifying rape, not to mention the “Awesome!” comments and how popular they were–immensely so. When I flag the videos, nothing ever happens. Ever. This is the same site that flags homosexual *kissing.*

  55. Susan

    Christ, it’s almost like they’ll put anybody on YouTube.

    *Snort* I miss your bugs. I’ve had to start hanging out with the Doodlebug Oracle:

    http://www.antlionpit.com/oracle.html

  56. tinfoil hattie

    Uh, is that Andy McKee guy covering “Africa” a real knob, or something? Because I gotta say, his playing is unbelievable. And that is actually a beautiful song, if one could only get Toto’s arrangement out of one’s mind when hearing it played.

    Okay. Back to the knive’s.

  57. Roo

    Dawn Coyote Sep 21st, 2007 at 9:33 pm
    “Knife Sharpist”? That reminds me of a friend of mine who
    used to say, “I’m not an alcoholic. I like to think of
    myself as an alcoholist. It just sounds more professional.”

    I had a friend who used to say “I’m not an alcoholic: alcoholics go to meetings. I’m a drunk.”

  58. Hattie

    Will this become a regular feature?

  59. Thinker

    Oh I hate apostrophe abuse. It bugs the hell out of me, and is right up there with ignorance regarding “your and you’re”, “there, their and they’re” etc. I went into a little liquor/live bait store a while back and on the door was a [professional-looking] sign that said “Smile: Your on camera” and I thought to myself: “They’re smart enough to work a videocamera but too dumb to know the difference between your and you’re?”

  60. pisaquari

    Patriarchy still not dead.

  61. Mar Iguana

    Nope it ain’t, pisaquari, and here’s why. Gaud Bless America:

    http://www.opednews.com/articles/7/opedne_stephen__070926_a_culture_of_violenc.htm

  62. Mar Iguana

    Oops. Sorry. Here it is beginning with page one instead of seven:

    http://www.opednews.com/articles/1/opedne_stephen__070926_a_culture_of_violenc.htm

  63. CafeSiren

    Glad you’re not dead, Twisty. But I’m starting to fear that your obstreperal lobe has gone into complete shutdown. We’re trying to keep up the blaming in your absence, but it just ain’t the same.

  64. buggle

    CafeSiren is right, it’s just NOT the same! I need me some Twisty.

  65. anne

    I’m with CafeSiren and buggle above, and probably countless others. I miss your worthy prose, Twisty. I hope things are well in your world and that you are seeing some world-class insects. I thought of you last week when I found a juvenile – but still impressively large – walking stick. It was “hiding” in all of its green glory on a pure white wall.

  66. LilliEve

    Glad you’re not dead!
    Perhaps a knife sharpist is really someone who frequents the church of Knifesharp, and studies Knifesharpology on evening’s Sunday. Plenty of room for fantasy at The Church of Latter-Day Knifesharpists, who preach about the heavenly father’s love knives.

  67. LesbianDad

    I’m with CafeSiren, buggle, anne and the countless others: having a wonderful time, wish you were here.

    So’s not to be too cloying, I Googled “wacky storefronts” to send your idling readers on a lark, and got to one place that led me to another place that led me to this thing (aaak!), which in turn reminded me of your fabulous piece on the Britney Spears “art,” It Burns!. Classico.

  68. bethany

    you know, I often say that apostrophe errors aren’t nearly as funny as quotation mark errors, but in this case, I might be wrong…

  69. Ganza

    Twisty! I’m going through patriarchy-blaming withdrawal! I eagerly anticipate further evidence of your lack of deadness.

  70. TwissB

    Although the stock of misplaced apostrophes shows no signs of running out, maybe it’s time to switch to faulty reference for a bracing change.

    What made me think of it? Why just back aways in this very brave missing Twisty blog, we could marvel at some very unusual dads:

    “Being a true Texas girl, my father has already presented me with a knife big and sharp enough to dress a deer” and

    “As a teenager, my Finnish father took us to Helsinki”

    My favorite will always be the sweetly tentative “Standing on the threshold, the library could be seen.”

    Back to blaming. See the Washington Post’s pseudo report on the government’s inaability to find any victims of sex trafficking in the United States – you know, like Ahmadinejad can’t find any homosexuals in Iraq. The article was strategically timed to appear when the Trafficking Victim’s Protection Act is coming up for reauthorization and feminists are calling for extending its assistance to trafficked US women as well as those brought in from other countries. Ignoring all the women experts from CATW, Equality Now, etc., the Post’s go to guy was GWU prof. Ron Weitzer who wants to protect prostitution (not prostituted women) by keeping it behnind closed doors. IBTP.

  71. TwissB

    Uncaught typos (inaability and behnind) are as good as banana peels to sabotage one’s dignity.

  72. Tigs

    There was a kid my Nigel went to school with who had that reallllyyy creeepy demeanor. Perfectly nice guy, just gave everyone the creeps.
    Our friend nicknamed him ‘Loveknife’ because he was so creepy, he had to be a serial killer in blossom.
    It was hilarious until Loveknife found out that it was our friend who coined the name and cornered him in the elevator.
    Then Loveknife was like ‘why would you say that, I’ve never been violent,’ and then it was even more hilarious.

  73. TwissB

    “Ahmadinejad can’t find any homosexuals in Iraq.” Right. And he couldn’t find any in Iran either.

  74. rootlesscosmo

    Has he tried the Larry Craig foot-nudge?

  75. thebewilderness

    “See the Washington Post’s pseudo report on the government’s inaability to find any victims of sex trafficking in the United States – you know, like Ahmadinejad can’t find any homosexuals in Iraq.”

    Perhaps they do not have internet access at the WaPo, or eyes, or perhaps their brains have been eaten by amoebas or zombies, due to global warming.

  76. rootlesscosmo

    A little help for the Post:

    Reliable figures are impossible to come by. Officials at the International Labour Organization say only that they believe that between 700,000 and two million women and children are trafficked across an international border somewhere in the world every year, feeding an industry with profits estimated at somewhere between $12 billion and $17 billion per year. According to the United Nations, there are currently 127 “source countries” that provide large numbers of prostitutes, mainly in Asia and Eastern Europe, and 137 “destination countries.

    Full article at

    http://www.nybooks.com/articles/20654

  77. Mar Iguana

    Those estimated billions per year are included in the source countries’ GDP*. But, the time-consuming labor involved in growing 80% of the world’s food, caretaking of family members young and old, hauling water and all the rest of the crucial, life-sustaining, yet unpaid, labor of women is just impossible to estimate according to the big, economist brains at the United Nations don’tcha know.

    *”. . . in 1991 the GNP was turned into the GDP – a quiet change that had very large implications.”

    Under the old measure, the Gross National Product, the earnings of a multinational firm were attributed to the country where the firm was owned and where the profits would eventually return. Under the Gross Domestic Product, however, the profits are attributed to the country where the factory or mine is located, even though they won’t stay there. This accounting shift has turned many struggling nations into statistical boomtowns, while aiding the push for a global economy. Conveniently, it has hidden a basic fact: the nations of the North are walking off with the South’s resources and calling it a gain for the South.

    http://www.flora.org/sustain/Question/GDP-GNP.html

    As women in struggling nations are those most negatively effected, this change has been very helpful in keeping The Man’s boot on their necks and making their bodies a sexual commodity. Anybody here ever take my suggestion to read Marilyn Waring or buy her video? Too bad.

    Until women follow the money and figure out the root cause (the mandatory accounting system required for membership in the UN) for the perpetuation of insane misogyny and environmental degradation, The Man will continue to laugh his corporate ass off watching women’s energies and attention defused trying to address the myriad problems caused by their “science” of economics.

  78. Marjorie

    Twisty, I hope you are well. Normally I don’t comment, but oh how I miss reading your insightful prose. Anxiously awaiting your next entry….

  79. po-mo sucks

    Here’s hoping that this one will lure Twisty out…

    According to Psychology Today, the more semen you have in ya’ the better you’ll feel! Oh, boy! That’ll learn them headstrong women to break up with their abusive partners and lose access to the happiness juice…

    See for yourself:
    http://psychologytoday.com/articles/pto-20021002-000009.html

  80. Serene Wright

    By George, I think the Vitriol has finally undone you, you vicious bitch.

  81. Lock On Liz

    Ah, semen. What magical powers it has. While we are enjoying accidental grammar, you should all have a giggle at the article’s assertions about “women who have sex with condoms”.

  82. sylvie

    mar iguana – I did, actually. I bought If Women Counted. I’m teaching a basic reasoning course, and we will look at the particular issue of how these statistics cover over much of importance later in the semester (after, of course, we learn some statistics). It will be a great lesson in applying the methods, and how carefully we need to read media reports concerning income statistics.

  83. Mar Iguana

    Oh, sylvie, that is way cool! It would be great if you could get that video as well. It would be a lesson in how “expert” boys try to tell women what is possible and what is not. It exposes the pretzel logic of why they consider ecological disasters, such as the Exxon Valdez debacle (for which the sign of the double cross has yet to pay damages), good for the economy. But, the work of women, oceans, waterways, forests, etc., are of no value whatsoever. Nutzoids. The British East India Company lives on, economically colonizing non-white peoples across the globe.

    Waring came up with a beautiful method of accounting for women’s time so that it could be included in GDPs. The UN boys duly ignored it. Maybe because it also illustrates just what lazy dolittles the boys are, good for little other than taking their meager earnings and spending it on gambling, booze and prostitutes (causing an AIDS epidemic among impoverished women) instead of their families and communities.

  84. Crystal

    [i] According to Psychology Today, the more semen you have in ya’ the better you’ll feel! Oh, boy! That’ll learn them headstrong women to break up with their abusive partners and lose access to the happiness juice… [/i]

    bizarrely enough, in many parts of India, a disorder resembling depression is traditionally considered to be caused for men by excesive “semen loss” and the cure prescribed is usually for the men to stop having sex and masturbating for a few weeks so they can build up their stocks again. So there are two sides to this issue.

  85. Crystal

    Clearly I am totally incapable of basic internet functioning. I now officially give up on trying to use quotes, italics, or bold in my comments on this blog.

  86. S. D'Attournee-Lawson

    Can I just say I miss Twisty’s posts daily. As in, I miss both the days when she posts roughly 50 times, and I feel pangs of loss daily.

  87. tata

    Surely by now that ass has been shopped off. While I’m all for thoroughness, I selfishly want Twisty back. Because I’m selfish. And thoroughly so.

  88. TP

    I miss Twisty so much I started my own lame blog.

    http://www.feministfred.com

    It’s a safe place for women to blame the patriarchy, but my ambition is to teach men how to detach themselves from the misogyny our culture trains them to ignore in themselves. So much of it will be about trying to understand why nice guys like Nigel and me still do and think things that are purely male privilege, and how to stop it.

    Because I think it’s important that men try to become more human and less manly. It’s more important that women raise their consciousness, but men have to do their part, too.

    In case you haven’t noticed, I have thick skin and can take criticism. So feel welcome to join in and register and set me straight when I need it. It will be a heavily moderated blog, of course, since men will be looking at it. I hope it works out.

  89. Rumblelizard

    Are you sure you’re not dead?

  90. bushfire

    A few days ago I thought there was a new post up, but next time I checked it wasn’t there.

    Was I dreaming?

  91. Sean

    TP, http://www.xyonline.net might be helpful to you, since it has articles on exactly what you’re writing about.

  92. Cass

    I’m not concerned. Our Twisty is clearly working her way south down Burnet Road, and there’s plenty more to see before she hits 45th Steet. (Particularly if she’s got Bert in the car.)

  93. buggle

    I heard she is fine but is dealing with family concerns.

  94. tara

    I miss you.

  95. Marytracy9

    WE ALL MISS YOU, TWISTY!!!

  96. sphex

    I just wanted to say that it is now 15 days that, several times a day, I dread seeing “Father’s love knives”, and then do. I miss your voice, Twisty. And I have started to really really hate that photograph.

    I hope you’re doing ok.

  97. secondwaver

    Buggle, thanks for the reassuring news that she is all right.

    Twisty, you are very loved!!

  98. Citizen Insane

    I’m having Twisty withdrawls.

  99. Paris

    Family concerns? And here I was assuming work was imposing upon the spinster aunt the way it does periodically in the lives of most of us cursed to live under capitalism.

  100. ivieee

    I keep thinking I see Twisty in coffee shops and tiny grocery stores around town. Then I look again and change my mind.

  101. delagar

    Ijust hope Twisty’s not being oppressed.

  102. Brianne

    I just hope Twisty’s ok.

  103. marjorie

    I miss you.

  104. Beth

    I miss you Twisty! I hope you are doing OK.

  105. po-mo sucks

    Educators, social workers and those of us in power that can shed light on the problem and rattle the cage while we wait for Twisty’s return let’s see what we can do about this:

    http://www.nytimes.com/2007/10/07/world/africa/07congo.html

  106. stacy

    arm the women. teach them to shoot to kill. and just kill the bastards. they are rabid dogs — put them down.

    let’s mail guns & ammo to women.

    I want every female age 3 and older to carry a belt of bullets and a sub-machine gun with her everywhere she goes. loaded, safety off.

    instead of trucks full of soldiers with headlights on, let’s place hundreds of women with machine guns backed up by hundreds of soldiers with sub-machine guns in a circle around the villages and shoot to kill.

  107. stacy

    television.
    the country needs to be wired for electricity (everywhere, even the jungle) and drop-shipped 20 million tv sets and a satellite needs to be dedicated to them exclusively so they can all tune in to 157 channels 24/7, free.

  108. Mar Iguana

    Just out of curiosity, stacy, why capitalize the “I”?

  109. I'm sad

    I miss Twisty.

  110. Crystal

    A few days ago, I was at the house of this Korean woman I know and she somehow ended up going on an extended tirade about how only Americans capitalize the I when referring to themselves.
    Condensed version:
    “Americans capitalize the I because they’re egocentric and self-important. Americans are pretty crappy in various other respects too, in fact, almost all, particularly American men and most especially her ex-husband.”
    It was some good blaming.

    Oh, and Mar Iguana, do you know much about the UN? I have a spat with a teacher that I’m trying to work out. In this case that would mean winning.

  111. Flamethorn

    Crystal… you mean Brits, Canadians and Australians don’t capitalise “I”?

  112. lawbitch

    Miss you Twisty! Throw us a bone when you get a chance!

  113. Perinteger

    Crystal,

    Your tale reminds me of dana boyd’s discussion on her choice to not capitalize her name. In addition to quoting Sydney J Harris’ observation on capitalizing “I” vs “You”, she has some interesting historical notes on capitalizing proper names.

  114. Crystal

    According to my Korean friend.

  115. finnsmotel

    Well, it finally happened. The fake email address I set up for the rapture website got spammed.

    You can login yourself and read it if you like. The address and password are:

    user: smithjoseph8@gmail.com
    pword: whatwouldjesusblog

    —-paste spam text for laughs—-

    Mrs Monica Tema

    show details
    Sep 12
    DONATION FOR THE LORD
    From: Mrs. Monica Tema

    PLEASE ENDEAVOUR TO USE IT FOR THE CHILDREN OF GOD.I am the above name person from Sierra-Leone. I am married to Dr Ebenezer Tema who worked with Sierra Leonian Embassy in South Africa for nine years before he died in the year 2001. We were married for eleven years without a child. He died after a brief illness that lasted for only four days. Before his death we were both born again Christians and we lived happilly. Since his death, I decided not to re-marry.
    When my late husband was alive he secured $15Million (Fifteen Million U.S. Dollars) with financial institution here in Cote D’Ivoire. Presently, this money is still with the financial institution. Recently, my Doctor told me that from all the test conducted on my health, I am not going to last long, expecially, due to my cancer and stroke. But what disturbs me most now is stroke.
    Having known my condition, I decided to donate this fund to churches or Christian individual that will utilize this money the way I am going to instruct. I want a church or individual that will use this money to fund churches, Orphanages and Widows. Also, the propagation of the work of God, building and maintaining the house of God through this money, is very important.
    The Bible made us to understand that Blessed is the hand that giveth. I took this decision because I don’t have any child that will inherit this money and my husband relatives are not Christians. I don?t want my husband’s hard earned money to be misused by unbelievers, for their own selfish interest and in an ungodly manner. I am not afraid of death hence I know where I am going. I know that I am going to be in the bossom of the Lord. Exodus 14 VS 14 says that the lord will fight my case and I shall hold my peace.
    I don’t need any telephone communication in this regard because of my health, and because of the presence of my husband’s relatives around me sometimes. I don’t want them to know about this development, but I know that With God all things are possible.
    As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of the Financial institution in Ivory coast. I will also give you all information regarding the deposit of this money. I will also issue you a letter of authority that will empower you as the original- beneficiary of this fund. I want you and your church to always pray for me because God work in misterious ways. My happiness is that I lived a life of a worthy Christian. Who ever that wants to serve the Lord must serve him in spirit and truth. Please always be prayerful all through your life.
    Any delay in your reply will give me room in sourcing for a church or christian individual for this same purpose. Please assure me that you will act accordingly as I stated herein. Hoping to hear from you soon.
    Remain blessed in the name of the Lord.
    Yours in Christ,
    Mrs Monica Tema

  116. lucija

    Come back, Twisty! Hope you’re okay.

  117. S. D'Attournee-Lawson

    Hah! That spam! Ain’t seen no BS that strong since English class.

  118. Nancy

    Hey Twisty – just thinking ’bout cha and hoping all is well.

  119. slythwolf

    They’re using the Ivory Coast financial scam? How old is that thing?

  120. Sarah

    I. Miss. Twisty.

  121. finnsmotel

    “They’re using the Ivory Coast financial scam? How old is that thing?”

    Yeah, I have to admit, I was pretty disappointed. I was hoping for something much more creative, elaborate, and end-of-the-world-y.

  122. speedbudget

    Should we be worried about Twisty? I mean, it’s been a long time. Or did she leave the internets, and Father’s Love Knives was her grand goodbye?

  123. secondwaver

    i don’t know about whether we *should* worry, but i definitely am concerned & sending bags of love her way! and asking buggle to check in again.

  124. jbeeky

    We miss you! We miss the blaming!

  125. xox

    Let’s give her some privacy, eh?

  126. Ms Kate

    Maybe an obstreperous bit of blame bait will flush her out …

    like that ellipsis …

    You know, men are victims too … after all, she wanted it … experience with girl bonobos grabbing pink toys proves that women were naturally designed for babies and housework …

    [/blamebaiting]

  127. Hector B.

    Maybe an obstreperous bit of blame bait will flush her out …
    It occurs to me that men’s egos are fragile and need to be nurtured by a daily show of female submission, for the good of the species.

  128. C. Atrox

    Twisty,
    I miss that razor-sharp wit. Come back!

  129. skyscraper

    Twisty could you at least tell us what you have been eating for lunch?

  130. Mar Iguana

    Crystal, I agree with the Korean woman, but maybe it’s just English speaking countries that capitalize the “I.” I really don’t know. I do know I have a lot of respect for Korean women ever since, decades ago, I worked on an electronics assembly line with several of them. Except for the kimchee. Yikes. That is some scary stuff.

    Re your spat about the UN, what’s the spat about exactly? I think this is a pretty good editorial:

    http://www.northstarcompass.org/nsc0307/editorial.htm

    And there’s this, keeping in mind it is Wikipedia:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_and_the_United_Nations

  131. kate

    I read up in comments that someone said Twisty is fine and dealing with family issues. I think Twisty is entitled to her own space, even if we all do miss her bright wit.

    But, I would hope that she’d still consider writing on this blog a recreation and not an obligation, she certainly owes me nothing and is entitled to do whatever the wants to do whenever she wants to do it.

  132. thebewilderness

    I shall commence howling soon.

  133. Nancy

    How about some girly ((((((hugs!)))))) to brighten one’s day? To be serious, though, a virtual hug from one of your fans (if you need one).

  134. Nancy

    er….I mean if you need a hug, not if you mean a fan.

    (now banishing myself to ponder sentence structure…)

  135. Nancy

    ACK! and spelling.

  136. kiki

    http://in.news.yahoo.com/071008/139/6lo99.html

    Twisty, they’re starting pole dancing classes for seven year olds. Don’t go now.

  137. TravelerOfTheWays

    kate – I don’t think anyone here would argue with you that Twisty is entitled to do what she wants and that she doesn’t owe anyone anything. If anyone is saying that, a scoff is certainly in order.

    Personally, I’m just suffering from Twisty withdrawal. Oh, I still blame, but it’s just not the same. Every time I see a newspaper article or occurrence in everyday life that makes me BTP, I miss Twisty a little more.

    But of course, her health and sanity and things come before my blaming pleasure.

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