Jan 11 2008

An unexpected, but inevitable, post

Oh heck. I feel like a heel, because I ain’t dead, or all that sick, even. Which leaves pure orneriness as the explanation for the recent paucity of blogular patriarchy-blaming. By which I mean, there are 237 reasons why I haven’t posted in quite a while, but none of them have to do with the decrepitude of the Twisty physique, upon which decrepitude no small percentage of the blaming public has speculated. My real life has most inconveniently intervened, and I’ve had to TCB. It’s nothing more interesting than that.

Even so, I regret leaving you blamers in the lurch like this, without a sufficiently martyred blogger under whose banner to rally, but I will definitely live to blame another day. I hope that you do, too. And thanks for giving a shit whether I live or die.

But enough of that crap. Even though I’ve tried to ignore them, I’ve had some thoughts on the early US presidential primary results, and I’m sure you have too. Take the sensitive New Hampshire white guy interviewed on NPR this morning. This sensitive white guy was deeply moved by Clinton’s 11th-hour weepy longing to lead the nation out of darkness. Based on her emotive waterworks, he called her a “mother figure,” and opined that the US government could really use the sort of doting, nurturing femaleness one would necessarily expect of a president with a vagina.

Jesus Christ on a sesame seed bun with special sauce! How many more times must we endure this mindless regurgitation of the universal (and artless) dudely notion about the mystical powers of that enigmatic ‘feminine touch’? According to this narrative, Clinton’s nothing but a martyr-drudge who will fold the nation’s laundry and wipe its crusty nose. I guess that leaves the real men free to lurk in musty, knotty-pine-paneled basements, fantasizing about hooking up with Suicide Girls.


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  1. emjaybee

    Yay you’re alive!

    I guess for some people, the Caring Butt-wiping Mom is the only alternative to the Stern Butt-kicking Dad. Anything outside of those paradigms is just too hard to think about.

  2. Theriomorph

    Twisty! That is all. (Scintillating, I know.)

  3. dd

    Holy Moly, I’m glad to see a new post from you! I was just thinking the other day that you might have something in particular to say about this issue. Thanks for posting again!

  4. Kitteh

    Twisty! Twisty has posted again!

    I now have a huge grin on my face.

    Good to know that you are well, Twisty, and that nothing has happened to you.

  5. Nancy

    Deep sigh of relief….

  6. Helen

    The W00t!s can be heard all the way to Awstralia!



    I was afraid that being GUSHED on in person by Your Truly had turned you off blogging forever.

  8. rootlesscosmo

    Mmm, special sauce! Thanks for resurfacing, Twisty.

  9. Panic

    I’m happy to see you back, Twisty.

  10. Pinko Punko


    I usually consider Jesus Christ on a Triscuit, not so much with special sauce, but I will accept the local slang. I am incredibly drunk right now, in a distant city from my home, surrounded by critical strangers, just back from a sausage festival bar, where not only Bad Company was played, but in fact Peter Frampton as well. The highlight of the night was ELO, and that is a low, low bar. I will admit the location is Charm City, but you have made my night in an inexpressible way. It may be the booze talking, but I’m ecstatic to hear from you.

  11. Pinko Punko

    I wrote that wrong, it is not the booze talking, the booze is allowing me to be profuse!

  12. Elizabeth

    Glad you’re back. Hillary as First Mommy? Yech.

  13. Krinn DNZ

    Yay, the Return of the Faster!

    To the point: it’s a shame that Hillary Clinton is a front-runner – the Democratic Party’s credibility, already badly damaged, wanes further as its candidates get more right-wing. Senator Clinton is at best a centrist. Not that it’s a shock to anyone here, but hey, lookit that discourse a-driftin’ rightwards! At least her prominence might get some serious questions, such as Are Women Human Or Vampiric Male-Energy-Draining Voids? into the degraded feces-smeared wall that we are pleased to call “Crossfire.”

  14. Lauredhel

    “The W00t!s can be heard all the way to Awstralia!”

    Across the nation!

  15. swayframe

    Thank you! I’m so glad you’re back! The world felt bleaker and bleaker the longer you were away. I wish you had your own damn talk show or something.


  16. Hermoine

    Glad to hear from you again, Twisty!
    I have missed you dearly.
    Welcome back!

  17. Sophie

    Glad to hear from you.

    I have a quite effective antidote against the “feminine touch” expression. Every time I read or hear it, the image of Mrs. Tweedy on the adverts for chicken pie in the movie “Chicken Run” are superimposed, and a mad chicken mincing machine appears next. Mother figure, heh.

  18. Matilde

    Oh, how I missed you. I’m dropping my lurking habit just to tell you that – sad but true. No other radfem blogger could have written that last paragraph. You are my rage-inducing sunshine.

  19. Rock::Water

    I stumbled over IBTP just as you went into hiatus and have been reading the archives ever since. Wowza!

    I keep mulling over the thought that there is a weird connection between Ronald Reagan’s perceived grandfatherly qualities and Hillary Clinton’s newly discovered motherly qualities.

    When Reagan did things like turn the institutionalized over to “community care” I was a social worker. I found it hard to believe that Reagan could keep his image as a kindly, caring gentleman who really cared about all the citizens.

    I’m older now and more cynical. I predict that if Hillary Clinton is elected, the first tough decision she makes will shatter her motherly image for good.

    Why the difference? Because the older a man gets, the more forgivable anything he might do becomes; men don’t lose value with age. The older a woman gets, the less forgivable her actions become; after all, she’s no longer a sexbot candidate, she’s no longer a MILF, she’s worthless in a patriarchy.

    Political analysis should go deeper than that sort of assessment but it doesn’t because of the smoke and mirrors that elections are in this country. No one is supposed to notice that the function of the government is to help the rich get richer and keep the poor in their place. So long as there are a few winners whose good fortune can be assigned to their innate virtues, there are very few people who want to change the status quo. Not even the poor.

    The election is a huge shell game drawing attention while the pockets of the vast majority are emptied.

  20. youngfogey

    Yay Twisty!

    The sensitive white new england man you mention is a great example of a particularly irritating breed, since they’re ultimately just as sexist as everyone else but they speak in creepily quiet voices and nod a lot when you talk and then say things like, “well, everyone’s just looking to connect with other humans” when you’ve just finished telling them a story about street harassment.

  21. kcb

    Ahoy, there, Twisty!

    I think the country could use a “mother figure” like my own mother, a woman who defiantly smokes, who told me when I was a child that “abortion is a personal choice, like what you have for breakfast,” and once confided in me that the institution of marriage is “bullshit.” That would be a new day in politics, but I don’t think that’s the mother figure HillaryBoy was imagining.

  22. J.S.

    Who represents the patriarchy better than a candidate who, in order to prove her appropriateness for office, trots out her sexual-harassing-then-purjuring-himself-about-it husband, whom she has stood by through thick and thin, because a woman alone can’t climb to the highest office in the land, she’s gotta be someone’s WIFE.

    I’m particularly pissed about the latest go-round between Steinem, Jong, and untold other bloggers and commentators about whether we all need to support Clinton just because we’re women. On the one hand, yeah, maybe getting ANY woman into the post will make it easier the next time when we want to get a GOOD woman into office. But on the other hand she’s basing her authority on experience gained during her husband’s administration as Sexual Harasser in Chief!


  23. J.S.

    Oh, and thank All that is Holy you’re back, Twisty! I’d been worried about you. :-)

  24. Perinteger

    I’m sure you already have heard this, Twisty; but I just found out that Las Manitas has been saved” (sort of).

    One hell of a morning – good news on a dining classic and word from a much missed voice in my web browser.

  25. Karen Davies

    Phew. I’m so glad you’re not dead Twisty. The still not deadness of you has brought new joy and hope to my cold old heart.

    A pox on Real Life™ that steals you away from your fans!

    Karen, in Swansea, Wales.

  26. TP

    This race so far has shown conclusively that it’s against the cultural rules to say overtly racist things about a candidate, but that it’s Ok to say anything sexist, if not expected and welcomed as accepted thinking.

    When you add to this the undeniable fact that racism still exists, and most people acknowledge it to some degree, you can see how incredibly far women have to go to even get to the acceptance level of a black man.

  27. MzNicky

    All I know is, I hear much more misogynistic spew from all over creation and the media and the InternetsTubes about Hillary’s laugh, tears, hair, pantsuits, ice-queenishness, emotionality, inexperience, insiderism, yadda yadda blah blah blah, and I’m goin’ out and campaigning for her. Yeah, that’s right! I said it, and I’ll do it.

    P.S. Twisty: So glad you’re back.

  28. estraven

    Helen: “The W00t!s can be heard all the way to Awstralia!”
    Lauredhel: “Across the nation!”

    Halfway through Europe! After a brief delay to google w00t, that is.
    It’s so good you’re back. Now I can go back to my mostly lurking habits.

  29. lenor

    Twisty! You’re alive! The joy! The relief!
    Sorry, I have nothing substantial to say on the topic right now, what with being too busy gushing. Lame, I know. I know you get this all the time, Twisty, but this really made my day.

  30. SusanSusan

    I am so fucking excited that you are doing okay and back posting!! YAY!

  31. tata

    Dog knows, I’ve meeeeeessed you. Glad you are well.

  32. Gwytherinn

    You’ve definitely been missed!! Was worried about you!!

  33. arlene

    Phew. That is also all.

  34. Ali

    So glad to see you’re back!

    We usually go with “jesus h christ on a rubber crutch” but the other day I heard “sweet jesus in a roasting pan”, which amused me greatly.

    Haven’t had the nerve to use it yet.

  35. kate

    I agree MzNicky. Clinton as a candidate and her record, her views, her positions and her plans are virtually ignored. The misogyny just bleeds through like a miscarried, unknown pregnancy, soiling all public discourse about her. I am astonished at the number of men and even woman however supposedly educated or erudite can get away from it and most are hardly aware of it.

    Obama has taken some positions in the past that I have personally questioned as qualifications for the far left leaning portrayal he’s given. He’s been sketchy on gay marriage, voted almost identically to Clinton, save for the war vote for which she’s been (rarely brought up in fact) criticized, in which he was conveniently absent.

    I also didn’t like Kucinich, regardless of the world of love he’s been given. He seems a bit confused about the women and where they fit into things, having been married three times, voted consistently with a conservative catholic line with only a recent magnificently dramatic change of heart. He also has married a woman who looks half his age and frankly, in the real world, would’ve considered his advances something along the line of a creepy old horny uncle.

    But money and power can get you teh wimmens and the thirst for more will suddenly bring you to enlightenment, if you’re a man that is.

    While Kucinich, Obama and others are forgiven their past slights of judgment and thus allowed to travel the public mind unburdened, H. Clinton is forced to carry more baggage than a mile long freight train. Worse, is that like most women who venture into the man’s world, where ever that might be, she is forced to carry baggage she never owned or even asked for.

    Oh and the fact is, H.C. didn’t actually cry, she just simply got the emotional. Also, let’s set some myths straight: she was instructed to be controlled and robotic for fear of her showing her tough and tumble side. She finally decided on her own to break from that ill advised routine.

    In addition, just cause I have the unfettered space here, might I add that the blame foisted on her for the failure of her husband’s attempt at health care reform really is unfair. She picked up the ball as no one else wanted it and ran with it as far as she could, which wasn’t far as B.Clinton’s staff, with B.C.’s oversight, had crafted the P.O.S., which he knew was political suicide if he claimed it. So they dumped it on her and being with a brain and all, tried to make the best of it.

    I’m sure the preferred response would have been, “Honey, I can’t, it’ll make my head hurt and my thighs fat.”

  36. kate

    Oh and glad to see you back Twist, you have a way of spinning the finest word cloth from the most mundane of topics, its like silk to my weary brain.

  37. emily

    I’m so glad you’re alive, Twisty. Your blog is my favorite on teh entire intarwebs.

    No, really.

  38. Gayle

    Twisty! I’m so glad you’re okay!

  39. Sandy D.

    Ah, I’ve missed your special way with words. That last paragraph was worth waiting a month or two to read.

  40. Anastasia B.

    Wow! The number 72 now has special meaning. As in, I’m so glad that on the 72nd day, Twisty posted. I can’t believe I wasn’t home yesterday to see it. I have obsessively checked the site daily, at least, and on the one single day I didn’t, she posted. Twisty I’m so glad you’re back!

    As for the issues, regardless of the crap Hillary Clinton has to put up with, she did in fact win NH, and she’s poised as the front runner. I for one am very happy about this and I will indeed campaign for her, because I think she’s the best candidate. Simple as that. I probably would have anyway because I do want a woman – finally – to be a serious contender for the presidency, and to win it. But I also want a candidate who cares about things I care about (she got a raw deal on both health care and the war), and who has the experience to do the job. She’s the one.

    Unless of course you’re thinking of joining the fray, Twisty? Is that where you’ve been these last few weeks and months, getting your campaign together, hmmm? If so, I’m in!

  41. Anastasia B.

    I’m in mod. So, in the meantime:
    Welcome Back Twisty!

  42. Anastasia B.

    Wow! The number 72 now has special meaning. As in, I’m so glad that on the 72nd day, Twisty posted. I can’t believe I wasn’t home yesterday to see it. I have obsessively checked the site daily, at least, and on the one single day I didn’t, she posted. Twisty I’m so glad you’re back!

    As for the issues, regardless of the crap Hillary Clinton has to put up with, she did in fact win NH, and she’s poised as the front runner. I for one am very happy about this and I will indeed campaign for her, because I think she’s the best candidate. Simple as that. I probably would have anyway because I do want a woman – finally – to be a serious contender for the presidency. But I also want a candidate who cares about things I care about (she got a raw deal on both health care and the war), and who has the experience to do the job. She’s the one.

  43. Anastasia B.

    Unless of course you’re thinking of joining the fray, Twisty? Is that where you’ve been these last few weeks and months, getting your campaign together, hmm? If so, I’m in!

  44. AoT

    This race so far has shown conclusively that it’s against the cultural rules to say overtly racist things about a candidate, but that it’s Ok to say anything sexist, if not expected and welcomed as accepted thinking.

    There have been some pretty nasty racist comments, ads and allegations about Obama in the press. I don’t know if I’d call it overtly racist, but it’s damn close. The comments about “magical negroes,” the allegations that he’s Muslim, with all the racist implications. There are numerous other examples.

  45. buttercup

    Yes. Twisty for President. I’m on the bandwagon!

  46. Medbh

    I knew you’d come back.
    What could halt the force of Twisty Faster?

  47. Calabama

    So damn glad to find you’re OK and uttering, Twisty!

    2008 looks brighter already.

  48. Cass

    So happy to see to you again, Twisty. I’ve thought of your writings more than a few times the past six or seven days; it was a shitty week to be a politically conscious female.

  49. kate

    Hey for all you folks pissed at the treatment of H.C. by the press, in particular, Chris Matthews, MediaMatters has provided the email addresses for MSNBC and Chris Matthews himself for you to vent your spleen, I’d recommend you do. Its time this ass be taken down a peg or two.

  50. She-cago


    Yay- hi Twisty! I missed your bloggings too.

  51. Susan

    Glad you’re TCB. I miss the Blaming, but have faith it will resume some day with a vengeance. As it should.

    Compared to all the other candidates, I think Kucinich looks most adorable with a baby, though:


  52. thebewilderness

    I did not feel sure that you would come back. The fact that you considered it inevitable cheers me immensely.

  53. Nancy

    You are an incredibly good writer. You should be getting a wheelbarrow full of dough for your skills.

    I hope you are working on a book. At least a cookbook – I propose the title be: “To Serve Jesus.”

  54. Alarming Female

    I heartily agree that America is much more deeply sexist than racist. As Ms. Shirley Chisholm was wont to say, “Of my two handicaps, being female put many more obstacles in my path than being black.”

    Nice to hear from you again, Twisty.

  55. Ron Sullivan

    Hey, there you are! Good.

    Hillary has a bit something in common with her husband: Most of the time, the thing that makes them look best is their enemies.

  56. Ron Sullivan

    big. …a big something.

    Ew, or maybe I didn’t say that at all.

  57. Paris

    I was just thinking how I have missed Twistified commentary on the presidential campaigns. This was shortly after I saw this: http://hillarynutcracker.com/

  58. TinaH

    Twisty for President? Naw, screw that.

    Twisty for Goddess Queen Empress of the Known Universe! I suspect we’ll need something dramatic to unmess us up from the hash that’s we’ve made of things.

    Also note, my half sister, a pro-lifer from way back, is voting for Hilary almost purely to spite my natural father, who’s a rabid fundy Catholic. (Yes, they do exist!)

    There is much to be happy about on a Monday morning!

  59. CafeSiren

    Twisty? Eh, she’s okay.

    (sorry — just had to do that)

    Seriously, glad to see the blame. I missed the whole “crying candidate” debacle — just heard about it thirdhand. But even thirdhand, the sheer volume of the coverage took me aback. All I can think is, “Crap, I’d hate to be her.” Too cold? Too emotional? No way to win, except to eschew any publicity or ambition of her own.

    Come to think of it, I guess that’s not so far from where most of us are after all.

  60. wagalicious

    /me wags tail enthusiastically looking up adoringly at Aunt.

    wub wub wub wub wub wub

    (that’s the sound of a tail wagging in great wooly wags of wub)

  61. wagalicious

    /me wags tail enthusiastically looking up adoringly at Aunt.

    wub wub wub wub wub wub

    (that’s the sound of a tail wagging in great wooly wags of wub)

  62. po-mo sucks

    Great to see that Twisty is back. Best wishes for a relatively dude-free New Year all around!

  63. Betty Boondoggle

    “I guess that leaves the real men free to lurk in musty, knotty-pine-paneled basements, fantasizing about hooking up with Suicide Girls.”

    Oh Twisty, how we’ve missed ye. Hooray and glad you’re back.

  64. kiki

    According to this narrative, Clinton’s nothing but a martyr-drudge who will fold the nation’s laundry and wipe its crusty nose.

    Yeah, except that she’s a wealthy, privileged white woman and so chances are she’ll find a person of color to do all the dirty work.

  65. Spared

    The Clinton calculate everything I am sure that moment was no less scripted. It ma have even worked for her if she hadn’t turned it into a political rant against Obama in the end. I mean…she had me until she said “some people are just wrong”. Right then I was like, “crap, I’ve just been punk’d!”

  66. Shakti

    Twisty! Is alive!!

    This is going to be one long primary-season. I, for one, am totally bored of the dudely speculation that a quiver in your voice = emotional breakdown=proving femininity=fit/not fit for office…etc. Let’s not even get started on Shrub’s padded jumpsuit.

  67. Genevieve

    The thing that bugs me the most about the press coverage of Hillary is how often right-wing pundits will comment on how supposedly ‘ugly’ she is. I feel like screaming: “If you don’t like her positions, then okay, we can have a debate, but how are her looks at ALL relevant to the political discourse?” (Nevermind the fact that she isn’t, in my opinion, ugly. She’s not Madam Supermodel, but she’s a normal-looking fifty-something woman. You’d think from the way dudes like Rush Limbaugh described her she was half-woman, half-alligator or something.) It’s as if her supposed ugliness somehow bars her from being an effective leader. Look at the men who have served as president. Some were more attractive than others, but none were the Epitome of Male Perfection, and some were quite homely (in my opinion). Of course, I doubt there were people back in the 18th century saying: “Oh no! George Washington has pockmarks! We can’t elect a man with POCKMARKS!” Or “Abraham Lincoln has abnormally long limbs! He’s out!” No, there was no such physical scrutiny. The world is run by average-looking men. And yet an average-looking woman is called ‘ugly’ and is mocked by uneducated buffoons (and some educated ones) throughout the nation. Because women are ALWAYS supposed to be up for physical scrutiny, no matter who we are or what else we have to worry about. (Think about the gossip blogs who called size-two Jennifer Love Hewitt ‘fat’ or those magazines who call various female celebrities’ clothes ‘don’ts’ when they’re doing some mundane task such as getting groceries or taking out the garbage. When do men EVER have this sort of scrutiny leveled at them?)
    Pisses me off.

  68. tsisageya

    Whew! Thanks for that.

    Theriomorph, my name is Diego Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

    Mznicky, my name is Diego Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

    I once had a nightmare (really) that the world was run by white women (not that there’s anything wrong with that) and everything was decorated pink. I think I woke up hollering, in a cold sweat. :::shiver:::

    It has recently been pointed out to me that to involve oneself in this presidential election (and all things U.S. of A.)is to study a corpse. America the Corpse. Is this an autopsy, then? Autopsy means “see for yourself”. It is a special surgical operation, performed by specially-trained physicians, on a dead body. Its purpose is to learn the truth about the person’s health during life, and how the person really died.

    I love you, Twisty. You make my heart sing. You make everything groovy.

    /end of rambling screed

  69. C. Atrox

    It’s about time you stopped thinking real life was more important than this blog. Please continue blaming.

  70. lawbitch

    Brilliant, as usual, Twisty! Glad that you’re better and back to share your extraordiary blaming. Made my day!

  71. lectric lady


    If you feel the need to absent yourself once again (and I absolutely feel you should if you need to), I hope you will leave us with a pretty picture of your pup, or even a varmint.

    Welcome back, and I can’t wait to hear what you have been up to.

  72. Jodie

    Dang I’ve missed you!

  73. eve

    Can I just say HALLE-FUCKING-LUJAH!! Welcome back Twisty, I am glad you are well.

    And this “crying” stuff is bullshit. First she’s a robot and now she is weepy and weak. Fuck that noise.

  74. slythwolf

    Glad to hear from you, Twisty–I didn’t fear you were dead–I figured it had to be real life stuff; real life makes fools of us all–but I missed your incisive blaming. Nobody does it quite like you. What alternatives did I have? Pandagon? Feministing? Heresy.

  75. invisible

    I just realized that my last post—under tsisageya, I’m changing my name—was all about death and corpses. Wow, how did that happen? No more! Oh, the thing about Diego Montoya was a quote from The Princess Bride. I love that movie although I’m sure Twisty could easily talk me out of it. Also, his name is actually Inego—pronounced In-yeh-go—Montoya. I’m a dork.

  76. Kim

    Blamers rejoice, Twisty returns. I was worried abootcha.

    I have tried, reallyreally tried, to like Hillary, to be behind her, and realize it’s only because she’s a woman and it seems like the “right thing to do.”

    Screw that. I just can’t do it. *sigh*

  77. brainiac9

    Yay! Twisty, I’m glad you’re back. This post has made my day and nearly had me squeeing in the middle of my French-language-taught sociology class.

  78. Niki

    As apolitical and anarchist as I try to live my life, I’m glad that you wrote again because your posts make me laugh every time, and that last line’s a real kicker. Let me know if you ever take up another blog topic somewhere, I’ll always be a fan of your words.

  79. Arianna

    *Joins the chorus of Squee!*

  80. Lara

    When I saw this latest post I had to do a double-take and then I was just overcome with elation….is that even a real word?
    Anyway, the point is that assholes in the media are not actually discussing HC’s views but rather criticizing her for simply having a vagina and breasts. That’s it. Voila.
    I don’t even agree with HC on a lot of issues. But that’s not the point. Her views and stances were never the point…
    And I second, this past week or so has not been dandy for a rad feminist, so it’s nice to see you back and kickin’ Twisty!

  81. The Bittersweet Girl

    I cannot even express the leap of joy in my heart when I saw that you had a new post. Thanks for coming back to us, unworthy as we are.

  82. whitehotrage

    Thank God you’re back! All these months of darkness in dumbfuckistan (sometimes referred to as “Ohio” in the liberal media) without your voice of sanity and light!

  83. PhysioProf

    Nice to see you back, Twisty!

  84. yankee transplant

    Nice to see you, Twisty dear! You caused an old lady’s heart to worry.

    Nice blaming here, as ever.

  85. smellerella

    Glad to have you back, Twisty.

    You have been missed. And your timing could not be better – IBTP for the hellish week I am having – and your new post helped take the edge off. Thanks!

  86. tinfoil hattie

    Welcome back TF, however brief and temporary your stay may be.

    I too am voting for Hillary Clinton just because I’m fucking sick and tired of MEN.

    There. I said it. I’m dangerously close to being a MAN-HATER, and hmmm, coincidentally, my legs are currently VERY HAIRY!!

  87. sevanetta

    This week, a friend of mine criticised HC as being ‘too ambitious’ and ‘too calculating’. My response was that I thought all politicians were probably that way. He got annoyed when I suggested that I thought those were pretty stereotypical criticisms that people make of a female politician.


    Twisty, you’re back! HURRAH! Who would have thought that when I checked back here on my birthday (a few days ago) there would have been a new post waiting? What a birthday present.

  88. Mar Iguana

    Men own Hillary Clinton.

  89. invisible

    Please forgive me, fellow blamers. This is on my mind:
    (DO NOT PREJUDGE, I COMMAND YOU. I don’t come to “convert” ANYONE. Frankly, I don’t give a shit. I’m just trying to be mySELF, that’s all. Thank you for allowing me this freedom, Twisty. I love you. Do you hear me?)

    This is on my mind:


    1 And seeing the multitudes, He went up on a mountain, and when He was seated His disciples came to Him. 2 Then He opened His mouth and taught them, saying:

    3 “ Blessed are the poor in spirit,
    For theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

    4 Blessed are those who mourn,
    For they shall be comforted.

    5 Blessed are the meek,
    For they shall inherit the earth.

    6 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
    For they shall be filled.

    7 Blessed are the merciful,
    For they shall obtain mercy.

    8 Blessed are the pure in heart,
    For they shall see God.

    9 Blessed are the peacemakers,
    For they shall be called sons of God.

    10 Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

    11 “Blessed are you when they revile and persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely for My sake. 12 Rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for great is your reward in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.
    Believers Are Salt and Light

    13 “You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt loses its flavor, how shall it be seasoned? It is then good for nothing but to be thrown out and trampled underfoot by men.

    14 “You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden. 15 Nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. 16 Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.

    Just look at the words, for goodness sake.

  90. Irishcc

    Yeah! You’re back! I had almost stopped stopping by, because everytime I looked and you were still away made my heart fall. You are entitled to be as ornery as you like, I’m just so HAPPY to know that you are ok.

  91. Deanna

    So glad to see you back, and that it was life, not illness, that kept you away.

  92. slythwolf

    Silly Mar Iguana. We know this, of course; in a patriarchy men own all women. What’s your point?

  93. communicatrix

    Holly-Julia! We who were about to cry salute you!

    It is fine for Twisty to take breaks as needed. But a word, somewhere, so that we know…y’know?

    And yeah, whoever said that about the last paragraph being worth the wait? Yeah. What she said.

    You put into delicious, delicious words what we are only beginning to form in our brains. It’s a mitzvah, but more to the point, it’s the grease that keeps us going. No more with the long breaks, huh? We get rusty and stuff.

  94. Mar Iguana

    My point is, slythwolf, that I want to end the era in which corporations tell our politicians, from the president on down, what to do and when to do it. I want someone “unbossed and unbought,”* someone who has never taken corporate money and hates lobbyists as much as I do, someone who corporations and lobbyists hate and fear.

    Shirley Chisolm*

  95. invisible

    Holly-Julia! We who were about to cry salute you!

    Yes, Holly-Julia!

  96. mustelid

    Whee! You’re okay! And back, too! :)

  97. alphabitch

    I did worry just a little, but figured it was your bizness and that news of you would surface somewhere, someday. Glad it was here, and from you. Or someone who figured out your password, in any case.

  98. mearl

    If Hillary Clinton is ugly, then that makes George W. Bush a MONSTROSITY. Pulling out the ugly card is all men can do in the face of their fear that a woman could control their futures. It’s like the person who can’t think of a good comeback, and stutters out a lame, ineffectual, “Fuck you!” Oh so inventive.

    This may sound very unradical of me, but I don’t care WHAT descriptions of motherliness or cliche horseshit the critics level at H.C., as long as it gets her into office. Once she’s there, a lot of shit could happen that those men, the ones who think women are only to be judged by looks, could ever anticipate. I rub my claws together in glee at the thought of a woman running America.

    But the radical observation has to be made, and it just got made by our resurfaced and always-vigilant Twisty. Happy to see a post, Twisty!

  99. Joanna

    She’s baaaack! Blame on, Twisty.

  100. medrecgal

    Fabulous to see Twisty’s back! As for HRC, I am of the mind that this country has been headed in a poor direction for a long time, and perhaps a new perspective would help that situation. It’s not necessarily that she’s a woman (though this would certainly add an untapped perspective), but that this fact may help keep her from sliding into the same old politics that have been screwing up America for decades now. (Who knows, but one can hope!)

  101. ElizaN

    Hooray, Twisty’s back! There’s nothing like a good dose of top-quality blaming to brighten up a weekend morning.
    I didn’t see a video of Clinton ‘crying’ until it had been in the news a couple days. If I believed what I’d read, I would have been expecting serious waterworks about not winning “Most Popular.” What I found was someone whose voice caught briefly while she spoke about how much she cares about our country, and that it is upsetting for her to see it in such serious decline. What better reason for a candidate to run?

  102. K.A.

    Awesome! I rarely check into feminist blogs anymore because I decided that having my blood pressure in a normal range is probably desirable. But sometimes I watch TV by accident, slap my forehead, and am compelled to return. So I check out some radfem stuff today on a whim and HOORAY! Twisty weighed in!

    I had no interest in supporting Clinton in particular (or any of the big three, really), but she invokes national misogynyletting like I’ve never seen. It kind of, I don’t know…makes me want to campaign for her, even if it means being condescendingly accused of identity politics–how woefully unfashionable! Boo-fucking-hoo, sexist assholes. You’ve brought this on yourselves. Don’t forget how the tre liberal dudes at the Washington Post care to memorialize some recent events regarding Clinton:

    (courtesy of Heart)

    P.S. YAY for Twisty weighing in!

  103. Zenny26

    Yeah, I don’t really care for Hillary, but I do like the fact that she’s pissing off people like Rush Limbaugh. That gives me a warm fuzzy feeling inside. And I’m seriously considering voting for her based on that reason alone.

  104. Lurker

    I ran across this explanation of why the patriarchy hates women and thought Twisty’s other readers would be interested:


  105. Dawn Coyote


  106. PxR

    Glad to see you’re back.

  107. TinaH

    I have to admit I’m with many others regarding the esteemed Senator from New York who’s running for President. I disagree with nearly all of her politics (she’s too centrist for me!) but if too many more jackass patriarchs (is that a redundancy?) snark at her, I’m going to campaign for her from sheer pissed-off-ed-ness.

  108. masaccio

    “Jesus Christ on a sesame seed bun with special sauce! How many more times must we endure this mindless regurgitation of the universal (and artless) dudely notion about the mystical powers of that enigmatic ‘feminine touch’?”

    Ummmm, lots?

  109. Sasha

    It is eternally annoying to find that TCB stuff getting in the way, n’est-ce pas? [Insert drive-by wave here]

  110. Mar Iguana

    Nope. What’s a TCB?

  111. jaye

    Glad you are well and gracing the Internets’ mysterious tubes again.

    Christ on a cupcake the infamous tears do have me confused which I suppose is the inappropriate response. If she who would be president has to whip the patriarchy with its own weak ass shit then who am I to complain. Other than it set us and by us I mean women who think back 200 years. Are we all now to cry when the boys will not get the fuck out of our way as if our way must be through them and not around them or on our own path, our own way and just leave their stupid values, wants, needs, desires as well as their dicks in the dirt.

    If I had to be president of all this, I might tell “patriats” (those who live blindly in patriarchy) to go twist off and certainly not enjoy it. Them, not me, because although I would enjoy telling someone to twist off, I am not responsible for any sexual pleasure they might get from their experience twisting.

    Did she who probably really doesn’t have a chance what with Diebold, Rovean Evil–the ultimate in patriarchy–and of course and fear of the unknown working against her outsmart them all with tears that would have embarrassed her if she is capable of thinking for herself anymore. Evidently we are that stupid. On the other hand presidential politics if we are sane would make Dog weep.

    I am just glad that you–thinking woman who so gets herself that even when I disagree I am glad to have had the experience–are back, from outer space, and found us all with that sad look upon our face.

  112. Octogalore

    Welcome back.

  113. Lara

    Crying is for sissies? That idea is the patriarchy talking right there. I haven’t seen the clip, I have no clue whether HC was crying or not. But who cares if she did? Those were her feelings, whether we like it or not.
    Frankly, if I was constantly being called a “bitch” and bullied all the time for running for president as a woman I would cry too.

  114. fun_shapes

    Hey Twisty,

    First post. I stumbled upon your blog a few weeks ago and have enjoyed reading it more thoroughly than anything else in recent memory.

    I wonder: have you ever considered publishing the blog as a book? There is so much incredibly important stuff here; it would be amazing to see it in print. And this sort of stuff is happening; all you would need to do is edit a little.

    PS I feel weird pushing the blame button, as I’m not blaming anyone in this post. Oh wait, IBTP.

  115. masaccio

    Twisty draws a mention in the New York Review of Books: http://www.nybooks.com/articles/21013 . Now that’s cool.

  116. chicago dyke

    blogging is evil like that. i took a long break, and damn- the emails i got, and i never even said i was sick! people think they have some right to your life, when you blog for a little while and some people notice. i’m really glad to be a c-lister, i can only imagine the email the a-listers get.

    i love blogging, but there are days when i really wonder about people who take blogs very seriously. conversely, i am glad you’re alive, and posting again. perhaps we should establish a blogger protocol, “click here if you think i’m dead” which leads to an obit if in fact one has been published about the blogger. i’m not bright enough with scripting to know how to do that; i just told my sister that when it happens, she is to come over to my place and leave a comment, “she’s not coming back.”

    be well, queen of blaming.

  117. Fiona

    Thanks for that link, masaccio. That paragraph of Twisty’s is one of those sadly true yet laugh-out-loud funny passages that remind us why we miss her so much.

    Returning now to the bleak, Twisty-less landscape.

  118. Shakti

    I assume the spambot has eaten my earlier post, so I just want to say, “Yay, Twisty is alive!”
    May we be blessed with more rants from her obstreperal lobe.
    This is going to be one long primary season.

  119. whitetrashqueer

    i don’t agree with this idea that this country is more sexist than racist. white women are prone to think this i’m sure, but come on, its dangerous to slip into the oppression contest. one example of how not true this sexism worse than racism theory is, the vast vast majority of people in prison are of color…including womens prisons.and thats just one example.
    better to focus on the common enemy.
    and personally i can’t stand hilary. i could care less that she identifies as a woman. women in power have just as much potential to serve the corporate profit margin as anyone else. she’s a corporate bootlicker in a skirt. think thatcher, condi, albright….eeee.
    focusing less on who will be all mighty president and more on how to empower ourselves and our communities to change the world seems a better plan to me!

  120. Samantha

    I think Gloria Steinem hit the proverbial nail on the head when she pointed out in her NYT article on why women are never front-runners that “because children are still raised mostly by women (to put it mildly) […] men especially tend to feel they are regressing to childhood when dealing with a powerful woman.” I personally think this is true of ALL male-female relationships.

  121. Blamerella

    My only problem with Hillary Clinton is that she’s wasting all that juicy polarizing-ness. She IS divisive and polarizing (unfairly so) so I wish she’d screech in, martini in one hand and cigarette in the other, cussing up a storm and DEMANDING single payer health care, an immediate end to the war, and free fucking college for everyone. If a substantial portion of the assholes in this country, as ably represented by Tweety Matthews and Rush, hated me as much as they hate Hillary, I’d like to think I’d be making the most of it.

    But then I don’t know what I’d be doing in her situation so I’ll just await the results of the primary and vote for the candidate who won’t fuck up the SCOTUS.

  122. No Blood for Hubris

    Woot, Twisty!

    Besides that, I got a charming email just now from some damn progressive organization saying how sorry they were that Kucinich and Edwards were gone from the race, and trying to rally their troops around Obama.

    (Progressive (sic) Democrats of America)

    They said: “No matter who we’ve supported so far for president, many PDAers have seen firsthand the enthusiastic, youthful, multiracial movement that has embraced Barack Obama. The Senator hasn’t been totally progressive on the issues, but our engagement with the
    inspiring Obama movement–which includes tens of thousands of open-minded newcomers to activism–leaves us hopeful.”

    But the fun part is: “The Senator hasn’t been totally progressive on the issues” . . .

    Well well. Anything to stop that uppity b*tch. Anyhow, I’m way to the left of Hillary Clinton, but — (say this starts to remind me of the old, “I’m not a feminist, but –” thing. Troubling.)

    So the progressive Dems don’t CARE that Sen. Clinton on the issues is more progessive, see. So I wrote them a blaming reply.

  123. the little one

    Twisty or fellow blamers — would love to know what you think about the NY-NOW branch’s position on Kennedy endorsing Obama. Care to blame?

  124. Hattie

    We misses ya!

  125. Pontiste

    Squeeeeee! (Thanks brianiac9 and Arianna–I love that, and thanks most of all for gracing us with some more words’n’truth, Twisty.)

  126. bitchphd

    I hope that “not all that sick, even” means that, like, you have a cold or something equally annoying but transient.

  127. Anastasia B.

    No Blood for Hubris, you got it right.

    Blamers can read the rest of this well-put post at:

  128. Rhus

    What joy to read you again!

  129. Nine Deuce

    I liked Glenn Beck’s commentary on this event. First he spent weeks talking about the fact that Senator Clinton was too “mannish” and aggressive, then he argued that she was crying in order to get her way and pointed out that the job of the president was very difficult, much too much so for the kind of pansy who was going to cry when things got tough. I’m pretty sure Glenn Beck is the biggest asshole on cable news, which is a serious achievement. I just wish one of these guys would come out and say, “No matter how she behaves, it won’t be acceptable, because people with vaginas aren’t fit to govern.”

  130. No Blood for Hubris

    What she said. (Robin Morgan

  131. zofia

    Please, please come back. I’ve been reduced to reading Feministing and that place makes the baby Jesus cry.

  132. No Blood for Hubris

    Check out this surprising feminist-blaming-feminist shitfight at Pandagon: http://pandagon.blogsome.com/2008/02/06/6697/

  133. Gayle

    No blood,

    Yes, that was tons of fun!


    I feel your pain!!

    Twisty, come back, if you can. You don’t have to blog about the election. I’d be happy with an insect shot or another Austin bathroom report!

  134. lawbitch

    Sending out some love to Twisty! Miss ya! Throw us a bone when you feel like it. Awaiting your brilliance as always!

  135. pisaquari

    Holding my breath…

  136. Heart

    Good to hear from you, Twisty! Without you, it’s just not the same.

  137. Mrs. Coulter

    I am surely not one to talk, since I haven’t posted anything on my own blog in months, but I miss the blaming terribly. Like many other commenters I am disgusted by the vile comments about Hillary and Chelsea–and by the fact that so much of the so-called progressive blogosphere seems to think that these comments are “no big deal”. Hillary and Obama are millimeters apart on policy issues, and the so-called progressives who argue that he is so much more left-wing while she is just too damned calculating and ambitious (that uppity bitch!) make me want to hurl. And they make me want to vote for her, as perverse as it may be. On the other hand, they make me think that I should vote for Obama in the primary, because I REALLY want a Dem in the White House next year, and I’m really feeling the sucker punch: this country is ready for an African-American president, but not a woman. If the so-called progressives can’t handle a woman in power, how can we ever expect to get the support of the fly-over country (so to speak)? Ugh. I am feeling very very very blamey and at a total loss.

    Please, when you have a moment to spare from your taco-tasting, please come back and blame, blame, blame some more.

  138. Linda Atkins

    Yay! (Didn’t see this until just now–I had stopped checking to see if there was a new post because of the frisson of disappointment each time I saw there wasn’t.) I’m so glad Twisty is back!

  139. Edith

    I didn’t care about HRC one way or the other, but dealing with all this made me so angry that I went out and bought a Clinton T-shirt with her face plastered, hugely, on it, wore it on Super Tuesday, and pissed off legions of people in San Francisco.

    And yet, California STILL went to her, and in fact, even the ENTIRE BAY AREA gave her more votes than Obama. CHECK, MATE.

  140. jerry

    I don’t agree with you the vast majority of the time. And while I think your writing is excellent, on the whole I think you’re a net loss for the advancement of women (and men.)

    All that said, I am glad to see you back, and happy to know you ain’t dead, and perhaps almost well, and maybe even enjoying a laugh now and again.

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