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You are reading I Blame The Patriarchy, the patriarchy-blaming blog that advances the radical feminist views of Twisty Faster, a gentleman farmer and spinster aunt eating dinner in Austin, Texas.
I Blame The Patriarchy is intended for advanced patriarchy-blamers. It is not a feminist primer. See Patriarchy-Blaming the Twisty Way for details.
"I couldn't get Twisty's point. It was so longwinded." -- The Blogosphere
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It’s the spittin’ image.
Careful, or it’ll freeze like that.
You are enantiomeric!
Yes, “hairdressers” work at the “beauty parlor.” My mother used to have her hair “done” every week.
When I go to get my hair cut and I think I’ll look hip and sleek, what I end up looking like is some middle-aged woman who resembles my mother.
Then I remember, I AM some middle-aged woman who resembles my mother!
Bravo, that lady! Such marvellous poise and elegance!
My haircut is kinda like that. You just have to gel it up a little…make it into an Elvis do, or a fauxhawk. It’ll be slammin’
You sillies. How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
Behold! A hairdo.
Did you get to sit under the big dryer?
You’re so artistic, mirroring the image on the right. Too bad you didn’t end up with a magical beehive.
I don’t get my hair cut much. Living in New York means coiffery is either unjustifiably expensive or the person “doing” the “do” doesn’t make enough to live well (or both), so I like to just bang out the scissors and ask my friends to have a go at it. It is, however, worth noting that I have worn some experimental hairchitecture because of that practice…
Criminy, Twisty, criminy.
I’m going to write that down so I don’t forget, ever, never never ever.
It bears a rather fashionable appearance to bedhead, if such a thing can be said to be fashionable.
And here I was feeling deprived, because I don’t spend money on my coiffure. And then I think of the ease and lack of expenditure involved in wearing my hair in a ponytail. Did you want to look like a cross between Dorothy Hamill and Tammy Wynette? And I mean that in the nicest possible way. If Dorothy and Tammy were spinster aunt gentlemen farmers, of course.
There was almost a red wine/monitor issue when the picture loaded.
My mother used to have her hair “done” every week.
Mine too, and then she’d sleep with toilet paper wrapped around her head to preserve the “do.” No wonder we took drugs.
And people ask me why I don’t get my hair cut. I do but I have to be really depressed at the time. I haven’t been that depressed in along time and as I get older I find I don’t want to invest all that time regrowing a bad ‘do anymore. It looks easy to care for, I’ll give it that.
What I love best about this photo is how your pose echoes that of the “no MRAs in my car” lady to your right…
Holy shit!
Umm. I am at a loss for words.
Or have you become ze lady at last?
You’re scarin’ me, kid.
But mostly it’s the background.
That is known in the parlance as a pixie cut.
This is why I cut my own hair.
Haw haw, I’ve missed you, Twisty.
You just need more “product” in it, Twisty. A little more gel, a little more volumizer, another spritz or two of finishing mist. Maybe a few highlighs and lowlights? It’s nothing that another few hours in the chair and a few hundred dollars worth of product wouldn’t fix right up. You’d be lovely, dear. Just lovely.
Gel, volumizer, and finishing mist? Perish the thought! A hairdo like that should only be “kissed” by an entire aerosol can of Aqua Net!
Oh hahaha, I have a new screensaver!
I use my mom’s hairdresser whenever I don’t want MRA’s in my car.
No Nice Guys either!
Brilliant! Could use a little Dippity Do, though.
Jesus tapdancing fairytale, I think I’m in love.
*swoons*
whatever, you look rad.
Will the patriarchy be helped if I like that haircut?
A mohawk never fails. ;)
you may think you have a fuckin’ stoopid haircut but you sure is looking HEALTHY and WELL!!!
What about cross-eyed eye lazers?
Twisty,
I am so very very glad that you are back. I know that you are not interested in being a feminist primer, but how about a vegetarian one?
I have two problems, that maybe you can solve, with vegetariansim - I would like to eat a healthy diet and I am extremely picky about what I will and will not eat.
My tentative explorations into this lifestyle have often been halted by the fanatic-like speech about this “wonderful change.” The exaggerated health/moral claims trigger my most suspicious instincts. Dont sell me, just tell me.
My second problem is my pickiness. Some of it works in my favor - The only meats I like are ground beef and tuna ( mostly because they dont look like a creature). On the other hand, chances are excellent that I will hate both soy and tofu - is there an alternative? Eating beans every night is also out of the question (not EVERY night). Are there healthy alternatives for picky eaters?
If you could recommend books/websites for healthy eating (without the outlandish promises) and for picky eaters I would very much appreciate it.
Im glad you’ve become a vegetarian because every vegetarian with a sense of humor makes the world a better place.
My hair looks like that, only fuzzier. I wouldn’t change a thing.
See, I’d be getting out the hair clippers right about now. Nothing wrong with that hairdo that a good buzzcut won’t fix.
In my teenage years, my mother used to take me to her hairdresser if the woman who usually did my hair was on vacation. The bangs that woman gave me defy description. “Feathering” should be added to the Criminal Code.
There’s no chemo for a bad haircut.
Ha Ha! The Odd Lady!!
Did you photoshop your eye to get it to do that?
I think the haircut’s sort of cute. Just even out the poofiness on top: either both sides poofy or neither.
That’s my mom’s hairdo, too! Can we do a poll?
To “That Girl” re vegetarianism
If this helps, I went vegetarian at age 12, about 27 years ago. That was before the era of veggie-dogs and tofu-burgers. My mother was worried and took me to the doctor, but I wasn’t anaemic. I am a very picky eater, also. My advice is just eat whatever you like that isn’t meat and don’t worry about spending ass-loads of money on special vegetarian food. I have never taken any supplements or even multi-vitamins on a regular basis. I did not become a vegetarian for my health, but just because I couldn’t stand the thought of eating an animal. My growth was not apparently stunted, as I topped out at 5′ 10″, and as far as I can tell nothing is wrong with any of the rest of me. I eat a lot of cereal and greens because I like them. I have never worried about protein or missing out on anything important in my diet. Probably people will post in horror at my attitude, but I honestly have not had any problems. Before soymilk became available I ate my cereal with apple juice. I am not opposed to milk, but it usually makes me sick. And I believe that a daily glass of red wine is, obviously, essential. I hope this helps.
Peace
Looks like somebody came along and took a bite out of the top of Twisty’s head.
Are we blaming the patriarchy or the hairdresser?
I can do that with my eyes sans PhotoShop (I’ve got a lazy eye; it’s why I wear glasses, although I can mostly control it on my own now–just gives me a headache), so it’s possible Twisty can too.
Oh dear. Twisty, you look lovely and I’m sure as soon as you style it yourself you will rock it… but do you realize she gave you the bangs sported by the male leads on the HBO series Rome?
Oooh, you could do it up in petal curls!
I remember visiting my mom’s “Beauty Parlor” when I was a wee one. The smell of perm solution evokes happy childhood memories. These days, I sort of hack the damaged parts off myself.
Did they have copies of “Photoplay”?
Wow! From your picture, it looks like you are crossing your left eye while keeping your right eye centered. Does it help with seeing those Magic Eye things?
Crise Hattie! Imagine that, I have the same problem. And I never thought my mom particularly attractive either.
Turn it around
Turn it around
Hillary Clinton
is WhiteHouse bound.
How does Stanley like it?
This is the hand gesture and eye pose that you made just before you shrieked and swooned at the Obama rally. (Thanks, Charlotte.)
Oh foo. You can get all the bad hairdos you want, because you, lucky woman, LOOK GREAT IN A HAT. Meanwhile I buy my hats in the children’s section and still look like someone squeezed my head in a vice when I was small.
It would so often be a blessing to be able to tack on a ball cap and not think about the hair at all.
That Girl:
I eat animal flesh. I also really, really like the Moosewood cookbooks and find they have an incredible variety of vegetarian, pescetarian, and some vegan (can’t really speak to their adequacy on that count, but they do provide vegan indices in some of their books) recipes. I’m not particularly fond of soy and its spawn, if that enhances my recommendations. In particxular, I like the Low-Fat cookbook and the “New” one, even though (a) it’s out of print and (b) I end up cutting out a whole big bunch of the oil in the recipes. I have at least four other Moosewood cookbooks as well, but those two are the core.
My point here is to recommend some cookbooks that I have found produce quite tasty food without meat, and in which many recipes are not soy-based. If you want some other recommendations with regard to cooking without flesh, I have a bunch of recipes and personal favorite strategies that I’d be happy to share.
Try this vegetarian blog.
Aargh! Try again:
http://stuttercut.org/hungry/
Sorry!
I got that haircut yesterday. This morning the bed-head looks more like Pat Benetar. Observe:
Oops. No image tags.
http://tinyurl.com/ywp4af
My gawd! That photo’s hilarious!
And they call us humorless feminists who take ourselves too seriously. Go figure.
PS: You’re probably not at all concerned about it but for what it’s worth, the cut doesn’t look so bad; it just needs to be styled like the pros do it. If you can’t or don’t want to style it, then to hell with it. It’ll grow out.
She sure dressed the hell outta your hair!
You got yourself a fancy hair-doo! When’re you gonna get it hair-did? *That* would really rock your mom’s world. Not to mention ours.
I got one of those in second grade when they were fashionable. My mom almost killed the hairdresser.
My eye looks *just* like that, but only sometimes. Also I have no depth perception; the doctor tells me my brain has adapted to ignore input from the eye that tends to wander because it has deemed that input unreliable. My brain only starts paying attention to that eye if the other is covered, like in an eye exam, at which time that eye always earns exemplary marks, but only if that eye has chosen that looking forward at the eye chart strikes its fancy at the moment. Most of the time, it indulges, but is wont to have other ideas from time to time. There’s a nice analogy to patriarchy-blaming in there somewhere, I’m sure, for who is my brain to decide what is “reliable” or where an eye “should” be looking at any given moment? (and shame on me for the judgement inherent in “tends to wander“) It will turn out to have been a poor decision on my brain’s part–ignoring the confidently self-directed eye–if, as I expect might happen someday, I am attacked by surprise from the precise angle where that eye has chosen to look, and the attack is entirely missed by brain and the more subservient eye. Vive la difference.
Thanks Narya and Helen!
That Girl:
I’ve been cooking out of the Moosewood books for years now: that’s a great recommendation. Also, you might try Vegetarian Cooking for Everyone by Deborah Madison. It’s a tome of a cookbook, enormous, and meant for “everyone” not just vegetarians. As such, it has little sections on unusual ingredients, and nutrition, and cetera.
As for non-soy protein sources: you might try portobello mushrooms, seitan, which is made from wheat gluten, or tempeh, which is made from cultured soy and brown rice, but ends up being exceedingly un-like tofu, and well textured (texture, I find, is most people’s problem with tofu). Make sure you cook your tempeh well though, as it’s got some bitterness that goes away with cooking. You might also try TVP (textured vegetable protein), which approximates ground beef if you re-hydrate it properly. It’s good for chillies and stews and such, but it’s fairly flavourless, so you should use it in thoroughly spiced dishes.
Err… I’m done now.
When in doubt .. colour (color?).