Thank you!

My primary reaction to l’affaire Spitzer, as well as the non-stop circus accompanying it (including the now iconic and so-suggestive chopper monitor of his ride downtown in his SUV last week) has been a deep sense of shame as a man. We are truly a blight on the planet and all its denizens.

I say “one man, one woman” because it’s the rhetoric that George Bush and his anti-gay-marriage jerks like to shove down our throats all the time. I buy your argument that this is disingenuous to the extent that these people also have women (or young boys) on the side.

It seems we agree that prostitution is illegal so that women can be exploited - that’s what I’ve been getting at, although I may not have expressed it well. This doesn’t mean that making prostitution legal would end that exploitation - it would just take a different form. That’s why I’m for resisting the underlying system of coercion and exploitation.

We may have had different experiences with the sex positive movement. By bringing up the marginalized groups I mentioned, I mean to provide a contrast to the pole dancer that you refer to. I don’t think there are too many people - men, or women - who find pole dancing particularly erotic. What the sexual subcultures do is allow people to express their own sexuality in a sex-positive way instead of subscribing to the same homogenized view of sex that is, as you say, defined by men of privilege.

Finally, I’d like to draw attention to the distinction you draw between the caring people in the polyamory subculture and the scourge upon women that multiple marriages constitutes. I think this illustrates that there is a possibility for a sex-positive culture to develop in a way that is in stark contrast to the exploitation of women in traditional culture. Sure, the polyamory culture is small, and new, but I think we’re gaining ground as more and more people begin so see a viable alternative to traditional, patriarchal modes of sexual expression and exploitation.