Many sciencey researchers, if my Blaming Alert inbox is any indication, like nothing better than studying the mystifying sexual habits of women. Likewise, news editors like nothing better than to summarize this research in cornball patriarchy-friendly terms that even their readers can understand. Take today’s study, which purports to conclude, among other things, that depressed women have more sex than happy women.
Why sad ladies so horny? Because, guesses Dr Sabura Allen of Monash University, “having sex helps them feel that closeness and security.” The study, which was conducted on 107 Melbourne women (that’s right, it’s Eyes on Australia Week), showed that depressed women have “a third more sex” whether they are in relationships or not.
The Sydney Morning Herald gives this story the tantalizing headline “Sex: Cure for the blues?” Because wouldn’t that be great? “Feeling low, baby? What you need is a good pronging! But get me a beer first.”
The article then briefly outlines Allen’s findings, coming to what appears to be the completely unsupported conclusion that fucking ameliorates melancholia.
Apparently it never occurred to anybody to conclude that having a lot of sex (or at least having a lot of sex in Melbourne) is itself what’s bumming these women out. That’s because sex in our culture is thought to possess such golden, health-giving qualities that a lack of interest in performing it routinely is actually considered a form of deviance.
Of course we’re talking about het sex. The Sydney Morning Herald makes no mention of the participants’ sexual orientation, but it wouldn’t be the first time some researcher “forgot” the dykes. So I’ll go out on a limb and assume that, given the heteronormative nature of the dominant culture, the depressed women in question were having all this extra sex with men.
I mean, come on, Dr Sabura Allen, connect the dots!
I tell you whut, if I had to have sex 3 times a week with some horndog dude motherfucker, it’d harsh my mellow, too.