When Oprah minion/lapsed Jew/”spiritual activist” Marianne Williamson isn’t penning such inspirational classics as Emma and Mommy Talk to God and Enchanted Love: The Mystical Power of Intimate Relationships, she’s appearing on Rush Limbaugh — yeah, I thought he was dead, too, or at least in some sort of home — to explain “real feminist values.”
And she should know. Remember, last year in Vegas, at Fredericks-of-HollywoodCon ’07? When all the feminists got together and made Williamson King of the Women?
Anyway, Williamson thinks — and, surprise, Limbaugh agrees — that the kind of feminist who objects to having her status determined by the degree to which she capitulates to Dude Nation is bad. Apparently the fatal mistake made by “that wave of feminism in the 70’s” was the devaluation of women’s precious femininity. Williamson, drunk with love for Jesus and a social order based on binary sex roles, asserts — and this will come as something of a shock to some of you feminists, so brace yourselves — that the “new feminist vision is to be genuinely feminine in how we show up as women with no apology.”
She utters these moving words in response to Limbaugh’s having asked her why, “as a feminist,” she won’t vote for Hillary Clinton (duh, because the manly, fighty Clinton has the unpalatable cheek to “show she’s powerful”). Of course Limbaugh immediately interrupts Williamson to use the word “vagina” 4 times in 3 sentences. He also makes his “noted female authorette” sit through a series of vulgar Bill Clinton jokes and his bitter reminiscences about the 70’s, when feminism-damaged broads apparently declined to curtsey whenever he felt moved to offer his opinions of their appearance.
The upshot of the interview? Thanks to “feminist” Marianne Williamson, to the vagina of which female authorette Limbaugh actually ascribes voting power, feminism is returning femininity-starved women to their dude-appeasing roots. Or, just because you’re a chick doesn’t mean you have to elect one. Especially one who hardly ever sports any cleavage.
Dang it, if Williamson can do it, I can do it. I’m gonna start calling myself an evangelical pro-life Republican. I’ll go on talk shows and say, “Well, Rush, the mistake made by the old evangelical pro-life Republicans was that they relied for their ideas on a 2000 year old novel written by misogynist barbarians. The new evangelical pro-life Republican says that if you want to spend your free time appeasing an invisible racist celestial ghost, go right ahead, fool, but put a sock in it in the public arena. Also, we now assert that scientific method is an excellent way to ascertain facts. Also, we now assert that women and brown people are fully human. In fact, the new evangelical pro-life vision is the overthrow of the patriarchal order.”