I have just discovered Language Log. And I have to say, I’m flabbergasted on many levels. What’s the matter with all of you? Why have you been keeping this from me for the last six years? Is it because of my views on the ellipsis? Is it because I’m against tiny handbags? Do you hate me because I’m beautiful? Why? Why?
Behold an excerpt from a recent Language Log post. The author, Geoffrey K. Pullum, responds to one academic’s deep concern for the fate of the colon (“I note,” [writes the academic], “that in his work on the use of colons [”Colonic information," 28 February], James Hartley has adopted the appalling American practice of following a colon by a capital letter.“). Quoth Pullum:
Some people really do have the threshold on their appallingness meter set to the wrong value, don’t they? If we are going to use up the word “appalling” on a tiny variation in orthographic conventions, what kind of adjective will be left to describe the taste of fermented soy beans in methylated spirits, or the sound of a cat being electrocuted during a child’s violin lesson?
It turns out that Language Log is featured in that book Ultimate Blogs, which anthology also showcases my own trenchant remarks on blow jobs (I am the world’s leading authority on blow jobs). I still haven’t seen a copy of this book, and was beginning to doubt its existence, but this guy breathes new life into its legend by linking to a New York Times review that pans it (the reviewer condescends to mention me as one of the book’s “calculatedly histrionic vituperators”), and then by reviewing it himself, a bit more gently. The “rants” at I Blame the Patriarchy are, he says “Edna’esque,” which I realized was a generous compliment after I reassured myself he didn’t mean Dame Edna.
Anyhow, this is how I found out about Language Log, no thanks to you useless blamers. Thanks, SimplisticArt guy!