Mar 29 2008

Run, Mrs Wadley, run!

Via a forwarded email, my longtime chum Peckman calls my attention to the following letter to the editor on the subject of honky wish fulfillment.

From yesterday’s Daily Oklahoman, “Oklahoma’s Newspaper since 1907” (i.e., since the mass treaty violation of Oklahoma statehood):

Very blessed

My wife, an American Indian, has changed my mind about her ancestry. Every day I’m amazed by her mature character. She has a big soul and I’ve never known someone as gentle and humble as this Choctaw Indian. She looks the same in the early morning as she does the rest of the day because wearing makeup and fashionable clothes isn’t her thing. She’s a believer not in nature but in the Creator of nature. She’s my kind of woman!

This white man is very blessed to have her for his wife.

David Wadley, Norman

So this moron godbag David Wadley marries a woman whose “ancestry” he initially finds objectionable, then, through the magic power of her extraordinary humbleness, discovers that she is every redneck’s fantasy-squaw? And he sends this revolting self-congratulatory ode to the newspaper? And the newspaper actually prints it? Like, “My wife is a lowly Native chick, but because of her winsome, subservient personality I’m willing to look the other way on her questionable genetics. Give me a medal.” And they give him the fucking medal!

At least everyone in town — including, one hopes, his wife — now knows he’s a patronizing “See? Not all darkies are lazy drunken sluts!” bigot.

Nothing would un-furrow the Twisty brow better than if I received news that the unfortunate Mrs. Wadley had suddenly sprung from her bed one fine morning, packed a valise, and announced, “Dave, your benevolent essentialism has chapped the last square inch of my hide. I’m off to join a separatist commune. Smell ya later, asshole.”


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  1. First Lieutenant B. Dagger Lee

    But in the Alternate Universe, it’s “Waddle, Mrs. Radley, waddle!”

    She may look the same in the morning and the rest of the day, but has he fingerprinted her?

  2. Summer

    What the hell was this in response too? That scares me almost as much as this letter does.

  3. Feminist Avatar

    I read this and thought ‘why would someone marry a person he thought was less than human?’ and then I went ‘Oh yeah, why would there be different rules for race than for gender’. IBTP.

  4. aw, fisticuffer at large

    “She’s a believer not in nature but in the Creator of nature”
    I think that has me reaching for a *snickers* bar. Gee, I luvs ma wifey cause ma granddaddy violently forced her ancestors to either get out of town, die, or convert! Genocide is sexy didn’t you know?

  5. Twisty

    Summer: “What the hell was this in response too? That scares me almost as much as this letter does.”

    As far as I can tell, Mr Wadley was moved to lyric excess by nothing in particular, except the grateful flutterings of his blessed heart. Maybe the Daily Oklahoman is like a South St. Louis free paper I remember from back in the day; it had a section called “Town Talk” wherein neighborhood blowhards were invited to vituperate on politics, social trends, youth culture, pet peeves, etc, most of which they adjudged disagreeable to the max. Because these letters were often a propos of nothing, they were, like Mr Wadley’s compelling prose, essentially what what we inhabitants of the 21st century now refer to as “blog posts.”

    There should be a term for published utterances that, for the greater good, should be languishing in obscurity in some remote corner of Blogspot, but which are instead published in reactionary newspapers for all to see.

  6. atheist woman

    Wait, ack, aw fisticuffer at large, is actually me. Sorry, it is a hold-over from a while ago when I was having problems with the spamulation.

  7. BeaTricks

    To get a real feel for how patronizing this letter is, I’ve changed the wording a bit so as to make it appear the author is describing a pet:

    Very Blessed

    My dog, a Doberman Pinscher, has changed my mind about his breed. Every day I’m amazed by his mature character. He has a big soul and I’ve never known an animal as gentle and humble as this dog. He displays the same temperament around strangers as he does around friends because becoming aggressive and hostile is not his thing. He’s a believer in fetching my slippers and not chewing my loafers because he knows who is Master. He’s my kind of dog!

    This dog lover is very blessed to have him as a pet.

    David Wadley, Norman

    It makes a lot more sense now!

  8. Lara

    Wow BeaTricks good spin on that.
    The way white men talk about and portray women of color, even women in their own personal lives, is just despicable. As much as I snicker in amazement at this guy I can’t help but feel extremely disturbed by the relationship ensuing between this man and woman. I am sure she senses some of his ignorance, but does she have any idea of what a fuckwad he is??
    Often white men refer to women of color as “luscious creatures” “sexpots in disguise” “nappy hos” “exotic beauties”, all explicitly dehumanizing under the guise of “appreciating the beauty” of women of color. In this case, Mr. Fuckwad used the “stoic Indian woman”/”silent squaw” stereotype to “admire” his wife. I guess the asshole realized too that her “dirty” ancestry will soon be “purified” by his White ancestry.

  9. kcb

    Mrs. Wadley, if you’re reading this, it’s not too late. Seriously.

  10. mearl

    Re: Mr. Wadley’s “benevolence”: *tears out hair in chunks*

  11. liberality

    This white guy has decided that Indians don’t have cooties as much as he thought they did. It didn’t put him off much before, seeing as how he’s married to her, an Indian gal. Anyway all men know that any woman of any color is less than a male any day of the week. Now he has got to let the rest of the white world know that being married to an Indian woman ain’t all bad. Those Indian women aren’t pretentious or thinking they are better then males in any way, unlike some of those other feminist white women. Heck she even prays to his white god now. He am such a blessed white man.

  12. Nan

    This reminds me of John Rolfe’s appeal to the British monarchy regarding his marriage to Pocahontas. He reassured them that he would liberate her from her savagery by granting her the gift of “Christian enlightenment”. With the benefit of hindsight one could interpret this as smallpox. This woman should run.

  13. Ines

    Oh goody, so clever Davey got himself a wife! It’s not what he expected/wished as her name is not Betty/Sarah/Mary Ann, but that’s ok because she’s willing to do anything he wishes. See, Choctaw indians are a despicable breed but nicey nicey Mrs. Wadley was subintelligent enough to see who is really the Good (White) Guy and elope with him. That’s nice.
    Mrs. Wadley/Maiden name, if you do read this please don’t go on being his humble servant, err, wife.

  14. Padraigin

    What the fuck?

    What the fuck fuckity fuck fuck fuck?

    Sankta Mariino, patrino de dio, kio la fiko estas tio?

    Right. Translation: “I was once a racist asshat. My head was so far up my ass that it looked like a foam novelty cowboy hat from an amusement park. While being a racist asshat, I married a woman I held negative racist ideas about. I now claim to be an enlightened un-asshat because I’ve exchanged negative racist stereotypes for nominally positive racist stereotypes. My ass no longer resembles a neon green foam novelty cowboy hat. Now, it’s simply a beret.”

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