Let us now turn to an abortion story that ought to be a hoax but isn’t.
And so it came to pass that the Missouri state House gave a big thumbs-up to a bill that, among other things, would require abortion providers to “offer pertinent information” to women 24 hours prior to their procedures.
The actual pertinence of the information is in the eye of the beholder, of course. If this spinster aunt were the beholder, I would inform any woman who asked me that being forced to wait 24 hours for an abortion is misogynistical, condescending, and incon-fucking-venient.
I would add that being shamed into enduring a theatrical production in ultrasound starring the uterine growth’s precious angelic heartbeat is anti-choice melodrama.
I would also point out that being made to inspect anti-choice pamphlets is abuse, since slogans like “life begins at conception!” are merely arbitrary edicts frothing up from the patriarcho-godbag gash in the fabric of Truth ‘n Beauty, and are unsupported by any scientific evidence.
Not that anyone would ask me, of course. Women have been disposing of uterine growths for millennia without my advice, and frankly I like it that way.
But unfortunately the eye doing the beholding in this case is not only not me, it’s not anyone who gives a fig for women’s liberation from biological slavery; it’s the dudely Missouri State House of Representatives, proud usurpers of private uteruses, superciliously hiding behind some bogus and supremely antifeminist idea of “informed consent.”
“Informed consent” means “Hysterical moron pregnant ladies cannot be relied upon to discharge their duty properly, so the State’s gotta get all up in there.”
The bill now proceeds to the Senate, where I can’t imagine anyone will have the balls to poo-poo it.