There were a couple of tornadoes swirling around the Texas Hill Country last night, so this morning, upon springing from the TempurPedic like Morning-bright Apollo, I fire up the Weather Channel to assess the probability that I will find my horse Stanley stuck in a tree when I nip off to the barn later today.
But the teevee isn’t tuned to the Weather Channel. Instead, the first image to contract the Twisty irises this morning is a guy in a puffy shirt with a canine overbite embracing a statuesque blonde supermodel.
“To hell with foreplay!” he snarls. His fake dental prostheses clamp onto her throat. Blood spurts. Woman screams.
That’s right. It’s a gothsploitation film called “Way of the Vampire.” At 8 in the morning.
Vampires. What a load of misogynist BDSM catholicbag cornball crap that is.