Because I am the world’s leading authority on world news, I am uniquely qualified to bring you world news from around the world. Let’s go!
Malaysia: The Foreign Minister has proposed that grown women traveling abroad must produce notes from their mommies before being allowed to leave the country alone. This is because drug smugglers like to trick women into totin’ dope to the E.U., whereupon the women are arrested on drug charges and chucked into prison. The Malaysian Foreign Minister feels strongly that responsible adults should take charge of these jet-setting women.
What impeccable logic. Criminals use women to further their own evil ends, innocent women end up in jail, government responds by depriving women of rights. What’s missing from this brilliant jurisprudential scenario? The actual traffickers.
Happily, cooler heads have prevailed. Women’s groups raised a stink, and an hour ago I received word that the Prime Minister has put the kibosh on the Foreign Minister’s scheme. Sadly, one gets the sense that it’s not because of the patronizing inconvenience to women, but rather because the note-from-mommy plan would have been impossible for immigration authorities to implement. However, the episode did offer the Home Minister the opportunity to publicly declare, “We do not discriminate against women.”
I’ll bet you don’t.
Ecuador: Legislator Marie Soledad Vela demands that “a woman’s right to enjoy sexual happiness” be written into Ecuador’s constitution.
What she means, of course, is that women should own their own uteruses, and that the Constitution should support their right to reproductive health and freedom. Dudely politicos have responded with predictable outrage, as they always do when someone makes the outlandish claim that women ought to be regarded as human beings with full agency. Because men have such a hard time conceptualizing women as anything but meat socks, one of the opposing legislators has naturally accused Vela of attempting “to decree orgasm by law.”
Note that the BBC headline says “Sex on Ecuador’s political agenda,” when the actual issue is women’s rights. Sex = women 4ever!
UK: “Research” conducted by More Magazine concludes that “modern young Brit women” want their lives to be (as Germaine Greer puts it) transfigured by love. Moreover, they expect that (heterosexual) marriage to a “soulmate” will bring about this electrifying event. This apparent blind faith in the panacea effects of love-and-marriage with Prince Charming is unsurprising, since women are conditioned from the cradle to believe that lifelong, monogamous, God-approved marriage is “natural,” and that somewhere out there their special someone awaits.
Marriage is actually the elemental unit of patriarchy.