«

»

Jul 03 2008

I fucking hate men and I blame them for everything

Ha, here’s a guy who thinks that blaming means “blaming.” Ordinarily I wouldn’t mess with fish in a barrel, but I’m sorely pressed for time. I don’t understand a word of this, do you? Do your worst, girls. I swear, I’ll be back soon.

I am an MRA, and learned about your blog from an MRA board, AntiMisandry.com:

http://antimisandry.com/misandry_radical_feminist_message_board-t12052.html?t=12052

One thing that I have come to realize is that blaming really doesn’t give you any power. You may feel justified in your designation of blame, but ultimately you depend upon the validation of others to reinforce your position. As long as you receive such validation, you are well-positioned relative to whoever (or whatever) you’re blaming. But ultimately, without violent force or coercion to enforce your beliefs (as punishment), you are weak and helpless when you feed off of a sense of blame.

It’s far more empowering to blame the victim, that being yourself. Take responsibility for your own choices, and you’ll experience a form of empowerment that external validation never could provide. Blame others (or other things) if you like. But the usefulness of blaming is no different than blaming a sand trap in the desert after you’ve fallen into it. It’s much more useful to prepare oneself to avoid becoming a victim. I suppose you view the law as doing this for you, but I think even then you are at the mercy of collective judgments. Personal responsibility over one’s own happiness and safety is the only true empowerment any one individual can experience — and yes, that is a very brutal reality to accept.

I would be interested in your thoughts.

John Dias

He’s so concerned for my well-being. It’s heartwarming.

103 comments

1 ping

  1. acidbill

    I think he’s saying that if an angry feminist wallops him; he has only himself to blame.

  2. Orange

    This fella seems to have read no further than the title of the blog.

    I certainly agree with the fella that having “personal responsibility over one’s own happiness and safety” can be empowering. Indeed, I do not wish to cede control of my safety to the patriarchy, because it can’t be trusted one lick. (Abortion restrictions, anyone? Lousy rape conviction rates, anyone?)

    Holy crap, did he actually recommend a “blame the victim” approach? That takes balls. Wizened, useless balls.

  3. mir

    Oh I don’t know. I read it through, twice, slowly, and all I got was “Blah blah blah blame the victim. Bark bark bark bark bleargh bloop bleep my wang. Yakety yack my wang my wang my precious wang”. And maybe something about golf.

    Glad you’re not dead, brave Captain Faster. Again.

  4. panoptical

    I can’t help but wonder when I read things like this what exactly the activities of a “men’s rights activist” might consist of. Perhaps he volunteers at a shelter for battered men? Or participates in the struggle to give men in third world countries the right to vote?

    Anyway, seriously, I do understand what the guy is saying, and what he is saying is “I have completely missed the point of your website and probably of feminism as a whole.”

  5. Toonces

    Yeah, Mr. Fresh! Manly! Wisdom! here fails to realize that his enlightenment is really not of concern. Really. It’s a flowery little theory he has and all, but at the end of the day, he’s just another d00d who really thinks that what he has to say is important. And that we care. Wrong on both counts. So, on the scale of “hot shit”, I’d have to give this one a rating of “lukewarm turd”.

  6. The Baroness Blossom Von Gutenkatzen

    There’s nothing quite like warmed-over conventional wisdom as served up by a dude who has it in his sloped, pimply little forehead that he is Doctor Phil. Listen up, Ladies. Dr John will have you know that rape, domestic violence, incest, sexual slavery, genital mutilation, pedophilia, forced births, fistula and even those hideous polyester polygamy frocks are all the the results of “bad choices” made by the women who are forced to endure these kinds of atrocities. Then again, the negligable (sp?) percentage of men who are bitch slapped by their Bridezillas, or wose, forced to pay child supposrt are the true victims here, and as such, should be exempt from making that all “empowerful” choice not to be a complete knob.

  7. sevanetta

    I thought this dude was (clearly) a rambling idiot, but by the end it seemed like he was actually putting some thought into those words. Didn’t help it make any more sense, though. Oh dear.

    Love how he references the need for violent force to push your beliefs.

    Missed ya, Twisty.

  8. stekatz

    Let’s see….

    One thing that I have come to realize is that really doesn’t give you any power. You may feel justified in your designation of , but ultimately you depend upon the validation of others to reinforce your position. As long as you receive such validation, you are well-positioned relative to whoever (or whatever) you’re . But ultimately, without violent force or coercion to enforce your beliefs (as punishment), you are weak and helpless when you feed off of a sense of .

    Or applying Mad Libs, you get…

    One thing that I have come to realize is that really doesn’t give you any . You may feel justified in your designation of , but ultimately you depend upon the of others to your position. As long as you receive such , you are well-positioned relative to (or whatever) you’re . But ultimately, without violent or coercion to your beliefs (as punishment), you are and when you feed off of a sense of .

  9. anon

    mir’s nailed it. damn, you made me laugh, too.

  10. stekatz

    So much for instilling them with a sense of awe.

    Please disregard the above post as the brilliant sarcasm was completely lost.
    But I do encourage Mad Libs with the MRA’s heartfelt message.

  11. yankeetransferred

    Oh dear gawd.

  12. panoptical

    I’m sorry for the multiple posts, but I just can’t resist.

    You see, when he says to blame the victim, it actually makes a lot of sense. It’s just like if someone dies from an infectious disease, like, say, smallpox. We don’t blame the smallpox virus – we blame the people who died, because their immune systems were just too weak. They should have empowered themselves, by like, taking vitamin supplements. We certainly don’t try to cure or even eradicate diseases – that would be ridiculous!

    Okay, maybe that was a bad example. Let’s say someone steps on a land mine and it blows up and takes off their leg. Obviously it’s not the land mine’s fault – it’s just doing what it’s designed to do! We don’t try to force land mines not to explode. It’s far more empowering to just be careful where we walk. Right John?

    So, John, let’s say someone comes into your house and stabs you in the face. Clearly, not their fault. It’s your fault! Nobody asked you to have a face! You chose to live in a house, and foolishly relied on the law to protect you! Take the blame upon yourself! Buy assault weapons because that is the only way you can be safe from the brutal reality outside! And afterwards, buy the man who stabbed you in the face a nice cold beer, because after all, it wasn’t his fault – you must blame yourself, which means that through your choices you made him stab you!

    Let me see if I’ve got this straight, John: We should each take personal responsibility for our own happiness and safety, but under no circumstances should we consider the source of the things that are making us unhappy or unsafe, because that would be useless. Is that about what you were trying to say?

  13. panic

    All I can say is:
    Read the FAQ, n00b.

  14. Rachel

    If it’s so empowering to blame yourself, then blame yourself you penis.

  15. Dr. Helmet Breath

    It’s really adorable how MRAs actually believe that misandry is some insidious societal ill. As if a harried TV wife cracking jokes that basically amount to “Grrrr, I hate men because they JUST WON’T LISTEN!” is really something that threatens the dignity and humanity of men and pervades every aspect of their lives.

    And I didn’t actually visit the board that John Dias lurched in here from, I just saw the link and thought, “huh, antimisandry.com… now that’s gotta be a low-traffic site!”

    Mr. Dias, how does it feel to spend your life fuming over something so utterly fucking irrelevant? Come back here when you oafishly stumble ass-backwards onto a real problem in your life. No, wait, I don’t mean come back here, I mean fuck off entirely.

  16. denelian

    know what i got from that?

    that we need to buy a lot of guns and take over.

    probably not what he WANTED me to get from it…

    missed you Twisty!

  17. Ron Sullivan

    If this individual believes in “personal responsibility” and all that “reality” fiction, why is he a(n) MRA?

  18. Megan

    It’s far more empowering to blame the victim, that being yourself.

    Oh yeah, I’ve tried that. I know lots of girls who’ve tried that. It’s super-helpful for when you need to find a way to short-circuit your sanity so that you can convince yourself to stay in an abusive relationship. It’s so empowering to pretend you’re in control. Like, God, why DO we make them hit us? It sure will be great once we’ve figured out all the right rules to follow that will stop making the patriarchy hurt us.

  19. Aerik

    Ah, MRA’s, the ultimate sockpuppets. Make me wanna puke.

    Now you know what I deal with when this asshole combats my social bookmarks week in and week out.

  20. Megann

    I applaud this shining beacon of enlightenment for boldly going where no MRA has gone before. And that is to tell feminists how to be feminists.

    It is truly very original and generous to bestow his freshly manly wisdom upon us poor ignorant feminists.

  21. ::wendy::

    I suspect he copy-pasted an email from his therapist to himself and just moved a few ords around to apply it to the title of this website because it empowered him to avoid being a victim of feminism.

  22. re

    Hmmm, I don’t find it empowering or accurate to blame myself. Even when women practice patriarchy approved “personal responsibility”, they are oppressed. No matter how much responsibility a woman takes, she will experience oppression. Period.

    Welcome back Twisty! Hope to hear more from you!

  23. Flores

    I’m happy you’re finally back, Twisty. The quoted message doesn’t make much sense to me. Judging by the source, I assume panoptical’s interpretation to be correct. It’s a tired argument. Folks too often invoke choice and personality responsibility to avoid tackling systemic problems.

  24. Pinko Punko

    I’d like to blame the Benign Positional Vertigo (“ear rocks”) I’m currently tripping on for not making it past the first sentence. I fear it would be dishonest to claim such. I have shamed IBTP. I shall sulk into the kitchen and bury my dishonor in the nameless orange melon of delightfully flowery flavor.

    {also, usual huzzahs to TF}

  25. Vinaigrette Girl

    I wonder if his parents know he’s using Teh Netz? Precocious little trolls like him abound.

    Oh. is it possible he’s old enough [shudder] to vote? Now that worries me.

  26. aw fisticuffer

    Ha! Radfem cackles wickedly (like a witch see!). Because I am an evil witch who *blames* teh menz for all her widdle pwoblemz. Why do I have the feeling that this: “One thing that I have come to realize is that blaming really doesn’t give you any power” actually translates into the fact that *he* used to blame women for everything. I mean, isn’t that kind of how MRA’s operate?

  27. Shabnam

    I can’t believe it. He is literally demanding that you try to be empowerful!

  28. The Grump

    Oh, this idiot. I saw him in a thread about abortion on Pandagon last night vomiting prose about how women use abortion when their plot to snare a man with pregnancy doesn’t work out. No, really. He actually attempted to argue that horseshit.

    He’s broken in every way. Intellectually, morally, socially, ethically, grammatically. He’s just a pathetic pile of meat who doesn’t know how pathetic he is.

    John Dias, this is the world speaking: shut the fuck up.

  29. Silence

    Wow. I loved the sandtrap analogy.

    Of course it would make more sense to point out that instead of blindly walking along and falling into the sandtrap (patriarchy), we were actually BORN in the damned sandtrap. Kind of a big difference, isn’t it? Or maybe we should blame ourselves for not being born somewhere sensible, like Neptune or something?

    What an utter stooge.

  30. mister z

    Shorter John Dias:

    Quit your bitchin’ and get back in the kitchen.
    And hey, would a smile hurt sometimes, sweetcheeks?

  31. Holly P

    Unless there are more of them (awful thought) this is the same guy who just got his tuchis banned on Pandagon for being a hateful jerk. His thoughtful, reasoned input starts at the seventh comment, where he claims that women get pregnant to “hook a man through marriage or child support.” What a winner.

  32. the baboon

    “Anti-misandry” site is kind of awesome, in an unfortunate sort of way. A gift that just keeps giving, for the time-wasters among us.

    My favorite line from an initial peek:

    “Misandry comes from misos (Greek ?????, “hatred”) andr-ia (Greek anér-andros, “man”).”

    For all you anti-misandrists who wanted to VERIFY the root IN THE ACTUAL GREEK. It’s in GREEK LETTERS so it must be ANCIENT. And SIGNIFICANT. And also TRUE.

  33. the baboon

    OK, looks like the Greek letters aren’t showing up. I encourage you to go over and take a look. The laugh is totally worth giving them the adsense dollars.

  34. jeannebean

    I don’t mean to distract from the disemboweling of that knuckle-dragging MRA, but can one of the mods, preferably a techie, contact me? For the third time, I’ve been locked out of the Forum (I missed out on the Seattle Blamers’ Meet-up! Hulk smash!). I keep getting the following message: An Error Has Occurred! Sorry jeannebean, you are banned from using this forum!

    I’m at auntbee7649@hotmail.com – thanks!

  35. buttercup

    That letter’s worded like it was written by someone who has only experienced inconvenience, not oppression. I encourage him to go fuck himself.

    And Pinko Punko, I have chronic labyrinthitis, so a fellow vestibular disorder sufferer bids you sympathy, and a good settling-place for the ear rocks on a regular basis.

  36. delphyne

    I suppose he likes to blame the victim, because he blames all the women in his life he victimises.

  37. Lara

    Well now that I know John Dias’s name I’ll be sure to look up his information and send him a piece of shit in the mail. Packaged neatly, with a bow. :)

    Misogynist

    Raging

    Asshole

  38. Amanda Marcotte

    The 3 big rights that MRAs are fighting for are 1) the right to rape someone without getting in trouble for it 2) the right to beat your wife without her having recourse or escape mechanisms and 3) the right to neglect your children whenever you get the mind to, with the expectation that a woman will always be there to pick up the slack.

    The ennumerated rights to beat, rape, and neglect children will not be extended to women. The rationale is that women have the right to abortion, which men don’t have, because they can’t get pregnant. The fact that women have anything that men don’t have, even something as much a mixed blessing as the ability to get pregnant, is considered a grave offense because women are so obviously inferior to men, and the only way to rectify the situation is to allow men to completely rule over women, even if they are sadistic creeps about it.

  39. HistoricUpstart

    Oh my goodness, Mir, that was literally the funniest thing I have read in a long time. Props to you on this 4th of July. Your funny = America wins!!

  40. ladoctorita

    panoptical: “Nobody asked you to have a face!”

    Aaand the root beer goes out my nose. Well done. :)

  41. thebewilderness

    I had a suspicion that the concepts of cause and effect, and consciousness raising, were outside the MRA experience.

    This charming example of concern trolling serves to confirm those suspicions.
    Thanks dood.

  42. Kay

    Right, and these guys would never dream of blaming feminists for their “problems”, that’s why their site slogan is “the cure for feminist indoctrination.”

    I just can’t believe he advocates victim blaming. It makes me really sad.

  43. Frumious B

    Mir:
    “Blah blah blah blame the victim. Bark bark bark bark bleargh bloop bleep my wang. Yakety yack my wang my wang my precious wang”

    Bwa ha ha ha

  44. wiggles

    This guy should take his own advice and empower himself by blaming himself for being a victim of feminism, and he should do that by shutting up and going along with it.

  45. Bruce

    A stupid but lucidly stupid writer is superior to this fellow. His piece does not have enough logical flow to be stupid. Stupid people should look down on him.

  46. Windstorm

    “This fella seems to have read no further than the title of the blog.” What Orange said. Also, he obviously hasn’t read any of the other posts here.

    Mr. Dias doesn’t “get” feminism at all, not even the easiest-to-understand, grade-1 concepts. But I will say, he didn’t use blatant profanities, he didn’t hide behind a pseudonym, and he told us where he came from. His transparency was good, and for that I am appreciative. He’s totally wrong, but at least he was courteous about it.

    I know, I know, it’s sad. It’s like praising a 5-year old for not hacking his grandmother’s face off with an axe, but it’s something, right? So many men out there are verbally abusive on the Internet that when I see an MRA who is actually polite, even though clueless, it gives me hope.

    Oh Twisty, I missed you so much. When I saw your post here today I was soooooo happy! I hope you’re alright. I’m sending you good thoughts and White Light and rainbows.

    ~ Suzann

  47. amused

    I checked out the must read link on their ridiculous antimisandry site which has a list of rules and things which won’t be tolerated

    I bring your attention to two:

    “If you can’t attack the ideal, don’t bother posting,”

    which pretty much says it all.

    And:

    “From hereon, pro-paedophilia posts will be removed. I’m basing this on England’s law. So, no talking about 14 year old sexy ‘women’. Keep it to 16 and above from hereon.”

    I think I have to throw up…

  48. CoolAunt

    Mir:
    “Blah blah blah blame the victim. Bark bark bark bark bleargh bloop bleep my wang. Yakety yack my wang my wang my precious wang”

    I’ve got to remember that so that I can use it elsewhere. With Mir’s permission, of course.

  49. Little Snail

    I may be wearing Goggles o’ Misandry(tm), but I don’t quite believe that this person would, as he said, be interested in hearing Twisty’s thoughts. It seems to me he’d rather push his opinions at her in a weak, halfhearted manner, in much the same way as an angered viewer might lob oven mitts at a television screen that she doesn’t actually want to break.

  50. Uccellina

    John Dias runs a website about how women lie about domestic violence and perpetrate it on men. He loves my blog, for some reason, though I haven’t seen him around lately. (yay!)

  51. pLoad

    “One thing that I have come to realize is that blaming really doesn’t give you any power. You may feel justified in your designation of blame, but ultimately you depend upon the validation of others to reinforce your position. As long as you receive such validation, you are well-positioned relative to whoever (or whatever) you’re blaming.”

    *translation* The fact that I, as a man, have to spend time reading your posts in order to validate your existence is time-consuming. Could you please go away somewhere and be more quiet like other women I know. */translation*

    “But ultimately, without violent force or coercion to enforce your beliefs (as punishment), you are weak and helpless when you feed off of a sense of blame.”

    *translation* Obviously you’ve learned nothing from the centuries of oppression and violence that men have imposed on women. The only way you’ll ever be considered equal is over my dead body. And until you’re prepared to kill for it, could you please go away somewhere and be more quiet like other women I know. */translation*

    “It’s far more empowering to blame the victim, that being yourself. Take responsibility for your own choices, and you’ll experience a form of empowerment that external validation never could provide. Blame others (or other things) if you like. But the usefulness of blaming is no different than blaming a sand trap in the desert after you’ve fallen into it.”

    *translation* I refuse to believe that a powerful ruling class can impose their will on the less powerful. Obviously blacks wanted to be slaves, women don’t want to be equal, and the Kurds wanted to be massacred. The 15-year-old gay boy who was shot to death in California in February. His fault for being gay. See, things are easy when they’re not my fault. Now could you please go away somewhere and be more quiet like other women I know. */translation*

    “It’s much more useful to prepare oneself to avoid becoming a victim. I suppose you view the law as doing this for you, but I think even then you are at the mercy of collective judgments. Personal responsibility over one’s own happiness and safety is the only true empowerment any one individual can experience — and yes, that is a very brutal reality to accept.”

    *translation* I’m not willing to have anything impinge upon my own life (including infringing on my right to rape without consequence) to help women be more equal. The fact that I can take actions that can negatively effect others personal happiness without repercussion is fine with me. Suck is up and could you please go away somewhere and be more quiet like other women I know.*/translation*

    I think that about does it justice.

  52. That Girl

    Twisty, I love you but Im not responding to this asshole – I couldn’t do it the justice everyone else has anyway. I WOULD like to point out, from experience, that your face hurts just as badly when a polite MRA beats you as when a rude one does. And the polite ones are so damn condescending about their good manners on top of it. So fuck all of them, polite or not.

    Glad youre almost back, Twisty!

  53. Okapi

    Dear John Dias,
    Thankyou for taking an interest in feminism.
    May I suggest you take your own advice.

  54. Falyne

    Boo for stupid people. :-P

    Yay for Twisty being back! :-D

  55. Bushfire

    “But ultimately, without violent force or coercion to enforce your beliefs (as punishment), you are weak and helpless when you feed off of a sense of blame.”

    Here, Mr Dias is saying that simply blaming the patriarchy is insufficient, we should be following through on that blame with violence. Therefore, kids, we need to start the revolution, and it needs to be a violent one. We’d have to check with our friend John to find out for sure, but I’m guessing that in a violent feminist revolution, we’d perhaps chop off rapist dicks and fire all men holding positions of power and force them to do degrading work for free? Perhaps we could also give them all forced cosmetic surgery and make them wear high heels? Or maybe we could just convict and execute all people charged with misogyny? I couldn’t really see any of this happening, since such a large number of feminists are opposed to violence, but this is my interpretation of John’s remarks.

    ” But the usefulness of blaming is no different than blaming a sand trap in the desert after you’ve fallen into it. It’s much more useful to prepare oneself to avoid becoming a victim.”

    What a great line- we definitely should prepare ourselves to avoid becoming victims. And we do prepare ourselves, by getting our own jobs to avoid depending on men, by organizing for better working conditions, by educating young feminists, by fighting for reproductive rights, and the list goes on. Of course, things things don’t always work out even though we try so hard, because those MRAs are always out there impeding our progress.

    ” I suppose you view the law as doing this for you, but I think even then you are at the mercy of collective judgments. ”

    It’s amazing that this dude thinks the law is helping feminists or women. If he had read any feminist blog, or just opened his eyes and looked around him, he’d notice how the police are there to serve and protect the patriarchy.

    “Personal responsibility over one’s own happiness and safety is the only true empowerment any one individual can experience — and yes, that is a very brutal reality to accept.”

    Hmm… I already do have personal responsibility over my own happiness and safety. I can’t imagine why this is “the only true empowerment”….. I mean, the world around me is also somewhat responsible for my happiness and safety. And there are many things in life that are empowering…. I’m not even sure why John is holding this one to such high importance. I can’t imagine why this would be a brutal reality to accept. The only brutal realities I can’t accept are human rights violations like hunger, poverty, war, rape, racism, capitalism, etc.

    But, we all know John isn’t interested in making any sense. If he wanted to make sense and say something clear, he would have.

  56. Courtney

    Basic logic once again eludes the MRA. “Trusting men to be decent human beings is foolish. But, but..how dare you not trust men?? Misandrist!!eleventy1!

    I keep expecting their brains to explode from the cognitive dissonance overload. No luck yet.

  57. keres

    Shorter MRA:

    If women form groups, men will have to form groups too (for our own self-protection, of course, not ‘cuz we want to).

    Shorter Feminist:

    Empty threat buddy: you already have a group and it’s called the Establishment. (p.s. enjoy your tree-house)

  58. chicago dyke

    hoho ho. thanks for the reminder of our superiority, twisty. heh. what a looser.

  59. slythwolf

    One thing that I have come to realize is that blaming really doesn’t give you any power.

    No fucking shit, asshole, it’s still a patriarchy!

  60. Brigid

    Take responsibility for our choices? Like, the choice I had to be born a woman?

    He’s a fucking moron. IBTP.

  61. speedbudget

    I don’t know guys, I thought I was reading a political speech from every Republican ever.

    *shudder*

  62. mir

    CoolAunt:
    “I’ve got to remember that so that I can use it elsewhere. With Mir’s permission, of course.”

    Of course. And please feel free to utilize the “Cock-Bearer” meme I’m trying to propigate: when a man interrupts, co-opts or otherwise cries for attention in a group of women because he’s not the center of the universe for seven seconds you stand up tall, wave your arms as if to clear a really wide space and say in a booming voice:

    “Stand aside, ladies. Cock-Bearer coming through”

  63. CoolAunt

    Mir, that second one is hilarious and much easier to remember. Thanks!

  64. Chihiro

    “I am the bearer of the almighty cock of knowledge!!”

    haha, MRA’S are funny

  65. CafeSiren

    Mir, I loved your first post, but your second one here has me plotting. It reminds me of one academic columnist’s fantasy response to male professors who did the blah-blah-my-wang-my-research thing in the Q & A after a female candidate’s job talk: “Ah yes. I see you have a penis. Now, does anyone have a *question*?”

  66. Christina

    “It’s far more empowering to blame the victim”

    This just explains so much.

    Thanks for that cock-bearer meme, Mir — I’ll definitely remember that.

  67. C. Atrox

    Mr. Dias has has clearly lost sight of the fact that yammering without political/cultural context is stupid and erroneous. Poor thing.

  68. Chiroptera

    I love the cock-bearer meme!

  69. PhysioProf

    “Cock-Bearer”

    LOLZ!

    Hiya, Twisty!

  70. ghost of a dead Nazerene on a stick

    This sounds like the usual patronizing, pompous, arrogant, condescending, prick-waving bullshit with which we are all too familiar.

    I fucking hate men and I blame them for everything

    Yes but, women are never supposed to say anything about it. Isn’t that what they tell us?

    Sure, there are some men—Robert Jensen, for instance—who really do get it. However, they are part of a mere remnant.

  71. slade

    So glad Twisty is back so she can encourage the posters to ever higher levels of IBTP.

    Are guns victims?

  72. Urban

    Mir, thanks for making my day with the “Cock-Bearer” meme! That was the first time I’ve belly-laughed in a while.

    Twisty: it’s great to see you writing again.

  73. Optimist

    He sounds like a 20 year old philosophy/psych major at a Christian University. Am I right???

  74. Charity

    If you google his name (I know, I know) you will find his “story” on the web site someone else mentioned above – how he totally got ZOMG WRONGED by the justice system thanks to his provocative uppity wife taking issue with his screaming in her face! It really paints a very poignant and sympathetic portrait. Oh wait, no, it confirms that he is an entitled asshole with not even a minimal understanding, or minimal hope of understanding, what actual injustice looks like.

  75. sarahcl

    His argument is basically that all men are violent, so it’s up to women and children to keep themselves out of harm’s way; but if a woman suggests that violence against women is perpetrated by anything other than a tiny minority of men who are mentally ill or otherwise completely separate from mainstream society, we’re man haters!

    (see this CiF threat for a good example of this: Guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2008/jul/02/ukcrime.women)

    So which is it MRA’s? Is male violence so commonplace that women need to be constantly vigilant (or else under the control – sorry protection – of a specific male), or is it vanishingly rare and the numbers are inflated by man hating harridans?

    (One suspects whichever it is, it will be women’s fault one way or another, if for nothing more than pointing it out)

  76. thisisendless

    I agree with denelian.

  77. Mamasquab

    Oh, welcome back, Twisty! Also good to see Mir ride again.

  78. Miss Information

    John Dias’ argument is so delightfully incoherent that I was compelled to visit his site. Ha! What a low-fi circle jerk! Also, I had no idea that the level of discourse in anti-misandry debate was so low (though, I’m not particularly surprised).

    It guess it seems reasonable that men could have some valid complaints about their proscriptive gender roles too. Yet, when I try to think of what these grievances might be I simply fail to come up with anything substantive that hasn’t been addressed by another, more legitimate, activist movement (like gay rights). Can somebody tell me what a valid concern for male rights activists might be?

    Whatever the case may be, wouldn’t patriarchy ultimately be responsible for that too?

  79. norbizness

    It sounds like somebody took the Ayn Rand cut-up refrigerator magnets and went ape-shit with ‘em.

  80. Claire (CJ)

    So very, very glad to see you back Twisty! Been missing you and your writing something awful.

    I hate MRA’s, and blame them for everything.

  81. Chai Latte

    Wow, MRA d00d! Thanks for affirming all my reasons for being a feminist (and a blamer).

    Tool. I hope his wife took him to the cleaners.

  82. Cara

    Oh, fuck. That “if you laydeez would just be nice and embrace your inferiority you wouldn’t be so bitchy” crap again.

    I don’t know why he said he’d appreciate our thoughts. That’s not what he means. He means “I need attention! Attention! Mooooommmyyyyy! Look! Look!” This pigtail-pulling by MRA’s gets really annoying.

  83. Antoinette Niebieszczanski

    Or as my 4-yr-old nephew said when confronted with turkey leftovers 3 days in a row after Thanksgiving, “Do we have to eat this (MRA) sh!t again?!”

    Welcome back to the intertoobs, Captain Faster. Missed you oodles.

  84. Jonathan

    Miss Information, I think Andrea Dworkin pretty much summed up what whould be the valid concerns of a men’s activist group in, I want a 24-hour Truce. She quickly ticked through all the problems that men face in a patriarchy, and then deftly showed how they all don’t add up to a spitwad against the deluge of abuses that women face on a daily basis. She also showed that even with men’s problems, it’s 100% the Patriarchy’s fault too.

    I believe that any real men’s activist group would have Dworkin’s piece as their seminal work. All the rest, MRA’s included, are just posers or thinly-veiled co-conspirators with the Patriarchy.

  85. Jonathan

    If I’m not mistaken, J.D. is equating his own violent and misogynistic behaviors with that of a “sand trap in the desert”. I guess he wants us to believe that he is a giant, useless ass-crater, stuck in the middle of a barren wasteland, which tries to bury any animate thinking matter that crosses its path in a deluge of useless detritus.

    At least that part of his useless monologue made sense to me. His apparent acknowledgment of the legitimacy of the S.C.U.M. manifesto gives me some faint hope as well.

    John Dias, you may be clueless to your own mountains of privilege, you may be sand-filled, but at least you’re clued in to a small part of S.C.U.M. So why don’t you come out and have a margarita with me sometime. We’ll just sit back, relax, enjoy the show and ride the S.C.U.M. waves to our demise.

    Glad you’re back Twisty!

  86. Chai Latte

    Jonathan, where do I get a hold of a copy of “I Want A 24-Hour Truce?” A search on Amazon.com availed me nothing! :(

    Antoinette, your 4-year-olds antics caused me to snort Sprite up my nose. XD

  87. Jonathan

    Chai Latte, you can find it at:
    http://www.nostatusquo.com/ACLU/dworkin/WarZoneChaptIIIE.html

  88. Satsuma

    Guess the Jews have no one to blame but themselves and not the NAZIS, or South Africa blacks have no one to blame but themselves.

    Freedom fighting men love to rape and kill women, so these women shouldn’t blame the rapists, freedom fighting men or patriarchy.

    As for making men fear me, yes, I have beat the S— out of many learing piggish men in my day. Love the sound of my oppressors saying “Uncle” and begging not to have their faces smashed in! Nothing like a quick crack of a baseball bat to keep the boys in line! Yeah, dud, we fight back! Better watch your mouth in public.

    Blame men, attack the oppressors and make them sit, stay or shut up. Remember the best men are silent, servile and know how to ask if you want paper or plastic, and even then, they can’t get that right!

  89. Mar Iguana

    Spoken like a man.

  90. victory is mine.

    oh my god > A man who listens

  91. dairon

    But ultimately, without violent force or coercion to enforce your beliefs (as punishment), you are weak and helpless when you feed off of a sense of blame.

    It’s far more empowering to blame the victim, that being yourself. Take responsibility for your own choices, and you’ll experience a form of empowerment that external validation never could provide.

    Okay, so when I was raped, emotionally abused, and psychologically isolated as a child (by men), either 1. it was my fault, or 2. I should go out and visit violent force upon my attackers in retribution in order to not be helpless?

    If I agree to swallow my own vomit and accept the first, can I have the second? Like some kind of a double jeopardy thing, I already suffered the pain so now I can commit the crime scot-free?

    And to think the feminist-leaning therapist wants me to talk it out! HOW WEAK AND VICTIMLIKE IS THAT!! HAHAHAHA!!!

    Thanks for clarifying, John. Thanks. That really is empowering, actually. So, can I come and beat you senseless first for abusing my logic centers in this egregious fashion?

    And yeah, not to state the obvious once again, but if blame makes you a victim, shouldn’t he therefore take his own advice and STFU? Especially as it seems he has nothing more awful to complain about than a failed relationship??

    Goddamn, I run into this shit from privileged people all the time. “All my problems are generated by my own shit decisions, therefore clearly everyone’s problems ever are all generated by their own poor decision making.” No, actually, the world does not revolve around you. Just because you are not oppressed does not mean that systemic oppression does not exist. Goddamn.

    /rant, thanks for listening.

  92. Zrusilla

    The day that I hear a man say, “I’ve considered all the evidence, and thought the matter over carefully, and I’ve concluded that my wife is right, I am a gold-plated idiot,” is the day I sit up and pay a shred of attention.

    Self-serving tools.

  93. monika

    I am assuming this is the same John Dias as here: http://www.dontmakehermad.com/forum/index.php?topic=3.0

  94. Lemur

    Soooo… does this mean now’s a good time to break out the pipe bombs? Cause I could take responsibitity for blowing a random patriarch’s Escalade 80 feet up.
    Or is that too extreme?

  95. Satsuma

    Love the title of this blog, and all the good old feminist rage. Pipe bombs and all. This site is delightfully free of the whimpy feminist sites out there and thank the goddess in all her wrath! Kali kick butt with her golden spear stabbing the patriarch through the heart!

    In this day and age, I ran out and bought Kali statue No. @ for my “Blame office” after Hillary was knocked out of the race. Double Kali needed for this double dose of patriarchy us and running for all to see.

    Crow crow crow as Obama becomes more and more of the polker playing patriarch he is, and we get to kick the boys in the gutts and fight back on the Internet the way any self-respecting blamer should be… dum de dumm dumm

  96. jezebella

    Hey jonathan, how about we not call anything Dworkin wrote “seminal,” alrighty? “Germinal” is a nice non-dudely substitute. Thanks, man.

  97. keres

    Jezebella, I prefer to use ovular in place of seminal. Of course, no one knows what I’m saying, or why I’m saying it – until I explain.

  98. Jonathan

    Ack! So that’s what years of college get me: more disgusting dude words to describe everything with. I’m sorry for obliviously using such a nasty dude-word anywhere near Dworkin’s work, especially when germinal, ovular, preeminent, paramount, or principal all would have worked in its stead. I’m going to send a donation to Dworkin’s site to make amends for the insult.

    What I wouldn’t give for a fully-customizable spell checker where we could remove choice words from their dictionary.

  99. Satsuma

    Just saw a lesbian photography exhibit last week, and ovular was used for some group photos of workshops the women held at conferences back in the 70s.

    It was a fantastic exhibit, about 40 women came to it, and only one or two had ever been to a photo exhibit by, about and for lesbians ever! Imagine that. Makes you realize how every photo of a woman is suspect if men control the cameras. Just as the words we use are about men’s inventions of what they think women are as opposed to what women truly are. Not the same thing at all.

    Sadly, in the lesbian photos, you saw a lot of group activities, and only in the 90s did you start to see individual photos of women, who were isolated. The youngest photographer on the panel discussion was the only woman to use porn-speak to describe women. Further evidense that the pornification of America contaminates all young women’s lives.

  100. PatriarchySlayer

    Hey, I checked out their site, not only is the site horribly done, but a lot of what it is preaching is very questionable. They had a section about ways that women say yes to sex using verbal and non-verbal cues. Yeah, some scarey stuff. Basically they’re taking feminism very personally. They believe it is an attack on they themselves. Interesting. I encourage everyone to check it out. It actually kind of leaves me feeling very concerned. I thought we were making progress…maybe I was wrong.

  101. Mica

    That is a bit rich having an MRA (puke) tell you to not blame men considering that all they ever do is blame feminism for every perceived or real misfortune that has fallen upon them.

  102. Beqi

    My friend linked me to you because some mansplaining jerk tried to tell me women should use positive thinking to overcome post-rape PTSD. Not even joking. Now that I have read through the sarcastic responses, I can see I have found my home.

  103. LG

    I didn’t read through all the other comments so someone may have said this already, at least I hope so as I think it’s a pretty obvious flaw in this guy’s logic, but I would like to make sure it is noted, or noted again:

    John’s logic of blaming the victim as opposed to the “sand trap” assumes that the victim was the only agent that had a choice in the matter, since sand traps don’t have a consciousness, can’t choose to be anything other than there, and are, naturally, pits that trap things in them if walked across, including humans.

    This does not hold up when talking about a situation in which the victimizer DOES have a choice, DOES have a consciousness, and IS NOT naturally a victimizer in whatever way they harmed the victim.

    For example, unless you believe that a rapist does not choose to rape, is unconscious to his (or sometimes her) state of being as a rapist, and is naturally a rapist and therefore by default will rape you if you cross paths with them (which I really hope you don’t believe), you would blame and criminalize the person who committed the rape rather than victim of rape, would you not?

    Would you blame yourself for owning a TV if it got stolen?

    In the same way, you should not blame women, or homosexuals, or racial and ethnic minorities, or any other people in a power minority group, for those words and jokes and messages and images and actions that further perpetuate their status as power minorities.

  1. You Called Down the Thunder? Well Now You Got It! | Blog of the Moderate Left

    [...] MRA apologist John Dias pokes Twisty Faster. This will all end in [...]

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>