I can’t help it, I can’t undo it. I don’t want to.

Mar,

Trans women aren’t pitiable. That’s something you’re imposing on us. We’re not boys - that’s something else you’re imposing on us. We’re not patriarchy - that is a third thing you’re imposing on us.

The patriarchy hates us because we don’t live by the rules. The patriarchal rules that say “boys are boys and girls are girls.” That gender is an essential trait derived from the genitals, the chromosomes, wherever the goalpost’s sitting right now. That what’s in our heads cannot in any way be used to determine who we are. That when it comes to picking a side, we’re not allowed agency or self-determination. We’re supposed to stay on one side of the fence forever and always.

And you’re playing their song.

I’m not asking to be friends. I’m asking you to give more of a damn about actual men who are out to harm women, and not take potshots at a target that’s not out to get you. Trans women aren’t your enemy, and probably never will be. Calling us men or boys, claiming that altering our bodies somehow rapes your bodies, constructing elaborate-yet-offensive stereotypes to pin on us, none of these things will challenge the patriarchy or the actual men who cause actual harm to women.

And I’m not offended here, just frustrated.

B. Dagger Lee,

When I had the chance to compare notes with butch women, I was surprised to learn how many experiences we had in common that I had mentally categorized as “these happened because I’m trans,” but now I see them as a wider category of gender policing, ’cause I learned and stuff.

As a lifelong big ole dyke, I’ve never been considered a “real woman” by majority opinion in Amerika. Who exactly is it who is reifying gender here?

To say boys are women is “like saying ‘war is love’ or ‘Cool Whip is real.” Or, pity is fear and hatred.

Reverse your brains out, boys. You’ve found safe haven here at IBTP while I, a real woman, will be banned for pointing out the obvious.

“Transwoman” is the patriarchy.

That doesn’t look like pity to me, but I do see fear and hatred in it. Trans women aren’t the patriarchy, we suffer under it, just as other women do.

And, isn’t pity a bit condescending? What’s wrong with basic human respect? I never asked for pity. A nice house, a few cats, a good job, sure, but never pity.

The Hedonistic Pleasureseeker: I… have words, but I put them on my blog. Wow.

A patriarchy-blaming Russian male judge! Who knew?

Well. Apologies if this link is redundant, but I’ve been away. Essential receptacleness confirmed by Russian Judge.