Comments on: Egypt’s national pastime

By: Megan

Megan — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 06:24:52 +0000

[Note: I realize these posts are pretty old, but I'm new to this blog, and feel compelled to respond to some of them.]

A few years ago, after traveling in Europe and the UK, I came back to the States, read “Backlash,” went to my grandfather’s funeral, departed for a visit to my best friend in California, and then made my way up to Alaska in search of summer employment. I decided, upon reaching California (and completing Backlash), that I would not wear any makeup that summer, and if I didn’t want to wear a bra, and felt like wearing men’s tanktops and cargo shorts, well, I would. So I did. I was called a dyke, I was honked at, I was yelled at. Once I got to Alaska, I started hanging out with a guy I’d seen on the ferry. He ended up seeing another girl, and once hinted that I should get a makeover. The night I left Alaska, a drunk guy in the ferry office harassed me. I looked from him to the guy working at the ticket window in shock; the guy working at the window, instead of being sympathetic, smirked and said, “You know you like the attention.” By the time I got back to the lower 48, I was bitter, angry, and depressed. It’s really hard to be a complete person in this culture, being a woman, and I don’t want to be angry in order to be strong, but I have to.

By: EventualFutureMother

EventualFutureMother — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 16:15:22 +0000

I live with my fiancee in the Dallas area, and it’s always bad around here. My fiance is blind and, while shorter than me (I’m 5′8″ and he’s 5′4″) is trained in martial arts and it shows. We both get harrassed, him for impaired and me for being female. He’s always afraid someone will attack me, and I’ve already seen people verbally attack him. The Patriarchy, which has some definitely Greek ideals about the male body, has rejected him as a member because he can’t/won’t join in, for which I’m glad. I just wish the P would stop picking on both of us for being “weak” and “available” for abuse.

Maybe one day when sane people rule the world…

By: apostatepakistanigirl

apostatepakistanigirl — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 12:02:45 +0000

And get this, I read this first on Muslima Media Watch. This is the strategy of Islamic Feminism.
1) Highlight abuse(as they did with this report)
2) Recommend Islamist conservative mores like the veil to protect women from the abuse
3) Which represses men and leads to…..
4) More abuse
5) So there are even more calls for veiling as a necessary “feminist” protection.
6) Western feminists then point out it’s ‘what Muslim women want’.
7) Check mate- or so they think.

I know that the more socieites veil- the worse the abuse gets, hence abuse in places like Saudi Arabia and Yemen where 97% of women veil- are endemic.
We got our own stragetgy, we’re fighting back
Yours,
apg, (apostatepakistanigirl)

By: sealander

sealander — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 02:35:13 +0000

I was walking down the street one day when a car slowed next to me. “Here we go again” I thought – usually they yell something unintelligible….sometimes they throw eggs. What a waste of food :)
Anyway, this guy leans out, yells “Jesus loves you!” and drives away. Hmm.

By: Lara

Lara — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 14:56:45 +0000

Correction: the older art gallery pervert is 73!

By: Lara

Lara — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 14:55:16 +0000

Jezebella, I don’t think it’s ageist of you to not like a much older man making that invasive type of “compliment.” He should know that it is completely inappropriate for an older man to speak that way to a younger woman. You’re not disliking him because he’s old, you’re disliking his actions because in the context of a patriarchy there are lots of privileges given to men, even older men, to make lascivious and inappropriate comments to you as a younger woman. It’s pedophilic of him to say that to you, really.
There is a much older man who comes into the art gallery I work at every now and then. He would originally come in to chat with my female manager, who is around her mid 40s. He is probably in his mid to late 60s. Well, one day I was working alone and this same older guy comes in and starts talking to me. THEN he says something about how I am “prettier than” my manager and how he would like to have a coffee with me sometime. ::shudders:: The fucker is MARRIED and was probably in his mid 30s when I was a zygote, FFS. Older men, particularly older white men, like harassing and hitting on younger women all the time. There is nothing ageist about telling the guy that what he is doing is wrong. Now when this older man comes into the gallery I deliberately ignore him, even if he tries to say “hi” or make eye contact. I just don’t put up with that shit anymore.

By: Jezebella

Jezebella — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 02:22:29 +0000

I had a Southern moment this afternoon in the grocery store when a random dude looked at me and said, “You sure are pretty.” And I sort of stuttered and said, “thank you” and then finished my shopping stat and ran out of the store because I didn’t want to see him again or make eye contact. I mean, I’m effing *Southern* and when someone offers a compliment, you’ve got to say “thank you.” It took me *forever* to learn to do that instead of saying something self-deprecating. There’s no WAY this guy – or anyone around me – could’ve interpreted that as harassment, but to me, it felt yucky and invasive and it totally harshed my mellow.

I mean, do I want to be an asshole to a guy in the store who thinks he’s being friendly? No, not really. Did it make me uncomfortable and nervous? Yes. Did it make me *more* uncomfortable and nervous because he was a lot older than me and more than a little raggedy-assed? Probably. Does this make me a classist ageist asshole? Yes, kinda.

So goes the calculus of deciding whether to “make a fuss” or just get on with one’s life. I don’t have any answers. Just more questions.

By: Red

Red — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 07:12:54 +0000

Brainiac9,

I have the same thoughts! I train myself w/standard responses to male comments, but when it happens, I am so flabbergasted I can’t respond appropriately. Most of the time I can’t think of anything to say to the speeding cars but ‘Fuck you!’ instead of the ‘Women are not public property’ I would love to say in my dreams.

I got street harassed even more than usual when I was walking around with a broken foot; I always had a walking cast on, often was on crutches. I thought maybe it was the skirts I was wearing, but they were big bulky skirts, called ‘tents’ by one guy at my work who complained that I didn’t titillate him enough with my clothes.

It led me to the fact that men inevitably prey on the most weak and vulnerable they can find.

By: Bushfire

Bushfire — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 04:25:45 +0000

“Well, mikeb, I sense that you have not fully grasped that I don’t write this blog to teach men about feminism. Commenting at I Blame the Patriarchy is reserved for fully-formed radical feminists. Neither I nor the blamers are interested in the male perspective, or in giving men “reminders.” Using the comments section as a learning lab derails the discourse.”

Yikes… I am not fully formed, and I do use the comment section as a learning lab. Sorry if I annoy anybody.

By: Lara

Lara — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 03:14:52 +0000

Interrobang, interestingly enough, if that incident on the bus had happened to you in Egypt (which it probably wouldn’t as elders are relatively more respected there than they are here) you could have smacked that boy so hard he would have flown to the moon and back and nobody else on that bus would mind. Hell, they might even just nod at you in approval, haha.