I know, I know, but these video things are way faster than writing, and these days time is of the essence for the spinster aunt. Sadly, because I did this in one take and without any script or rehearsal or talent, I perhaps failed to emphasize my main blaming point, which is my disgust at the obnoxious classist forces at work on the mind of the typical IKEA shopper.
A common misconception, one which apparently appeals to the honkys who flock there to pick up build-it-yourself orange leather entertainment centers, seems to be that all that cheapo IKEA stuff is made in Sweden by happy, well-paid blondes with excellent benefits.
It is not. By now we all know that the only time anyone can afford anything is when it was made by non-Swedish indentured workers in a part of the world far, far away from happy, blond, egalitarian Sweden.
Although everything for sale at IKEA does have a Swedish name, according to a “naming system.” From Wikipedia:
# Chairs, desks: men’s names
# Materials, curtains: women’s names