Monthly Archive for September, 2008

Spinster aunt still AWOL

Published by Twisty on September 21, 2008. 194 Comments

I admit it. I am a blogger in name only, at least for a while longer. The move to the Faster country seat is taking longer than previously anticipated, and further complications have complicated things. I dislike complication, and am not taking it well. At this juncture, no tub of Cool Whip is safe from me.

I did watch a few minutes of an old movie on TCM last night, though, and was repelled enough by its Yay Patriarchyness to embark on a series of contemplations on how Western literature would scarcely exist if plots did not so consistently revolve around the purity of the female lead’s vagina, puritanical conceits concerning marriage and divorce, and whose-baby-is-it. Seriously, if you take away bastards, fallen women, and dominion-over-the-uterus as plot devices, nearly the whole canon instantly evaporates. I honestly don’t know how TCM broadcasts this crap with a straight face. “The story of a man who lived a man’s life, the story of a woman who believed in one man.” It amounts, in large part, to hate speech.

Then, while in line at Whole Foods, I espied the current copy of Vanity Fair, and was repelled by a cover featuring, in full drag, the most famous dude-fantasy cipher of the 20th century, Marilyn Monroe. The cover story, which I haven’t read, purportedly contains vital new information on the “mystery” of her death. Pah. I’ll tell you what killed Marilyn Monroe. Femininity. It kills thousands of women every day.

Why was I at Whole Foods? I’d run out of an absurd thing. Chardonnay Oak-Smoked Fleur de Sel. I put this wacky salt on everything, including watermelon and peanut butter toast. You may opine that sodium chloride is sodium chloride, but until you do a side-by-side taste test with this Chardonay Oak-Smoked Fleur de Sel and Morton’s Iodized I have nothing to say to you.

Meanwhile, Stingray’s out in Napa lurking in some wine cellar, and she’s got a wine cellar blog. It’s got great photos of incomprehensible winemaking equipage, as well as of the porta-potties that dot Napa’s picturesque vinyards like the plastic turquoise flowers of spring. Before she biffed out there and began reporting back about the full-blown sexism, classism, and racism attending viticultural culture, I used to think that wineries were pleasant, sun-drenched agrarian paradises. Now I realize that I will have to give up oenophilia on principle and start brewing my own feminist hooch in the bathtub.

Posted in Announcements, Blogulation, Femininity, Men Hate You and Morsel Institute. Bite me, Chad.

Spinster aunt suffers from bridge-to-nowhere fatigue

Published by Twisty on September 11, 2008. 318 Comments

The big push to relocate Spinster HQ to points west has begun in earnest. I’m swamped already, but apparently there is a hurricane tearing through the Gulf of Mexico with Texas’ name on it, which really puts a hitch in my gitalong. Everyone in Austin is in a panic. The local news makes sure of that.

“Evacuate! Or stock up on beer and diesel generators!” they warn, genuflecting woodenly before swirling computer graphics with terrifying red centers. “It’s a Level 42 Megacane!”

My sister Tidy called. “I’m off to buy water and batteries.”

This makes no sense to me. Why not invest in umbrellas and rafts?

OK, we might as well get it overwith. Let’s have the blametariat’s views on collaborateuse Sarah Palin, her bridge, and her possible effects on the future of feminism.

Posted in Announcements, Austin, Mass Media and Politics. Bite me, Chad.

Spinster aunt clarifies concept

Published by Twisty on September 1, 2008. 130 Comments

How can I talk about femininity and murdered women in the same breath?

It appears — due, no doubt, to some fault in my blaming skills — that some readers don’t know what I mean by “femininity.” Apparently it is assumed that I’m just talking about rhinestone lipstick and pink hairdos. However, the concept of femininity extends to the full set of unique behaviors performed by the sex class to appease its oppressor, where failure to appease has unfavorable repercussions. Among these behaviors is the tendency of women to marry men, and particularly, as in the case of the murdered Pakistani women to whom I allude in yesterday’s post, that women should be so submissive as to willingly become receptacles for whatever husband their fathers select.

My position is that the construct recognized as “femininity” represents the dominant social order’s successful attempt to otherize an entire class of people for the purpose of oppressing them. Because feminization is among the first steps taken to socialize children, and because it is so readily accepted, deeply internalized, and staunchly defended, it is the primary foundation of patriarchy.

Unlike the murdered Pakistani women, many Western women have privilege enough to repudiate femininity without suffering life-threatening consequences. My crazy idea is that they should if they can, because women cannot be liberated from men’s oppression until we are de-otherized.

Posted in Femininity. Bite me, Chad.