Just so you won’t think I was blowing fumes through my snoot yesterday when I resurfaced to announce that I am back from hiatus, I am posting this here thing. This post will largely consist of nothing. It is mostly to reacquaint my claw-like hands with the rigors of typing, and my obstreperal lobe with the smell of the dominant culture’s putrid off-gassing.
Much has gone down in the life of the spinster aunt since last we spoke, but it was nothing I cared to interpret through the jaundiced lens of blame, which is why I didn’t feel too bad taking a blogular powder on yall. Mostly what have befallen me are events of a rural and therefore — because I had overestimated my boondocksian chops — a comical nature. Assorted hijinxes have involved, against a backdrop of prickly pears and Polled Hereford excrement: snakes, rogue cattle, sheriff’s deputies, a wild horse, two dudes from the ranch up the road who spoke such thick Texan I could not understand’em, feral burros, turkeys, deer, skunks, funnel-web spiders, jack rabbits, coyotes, scorpions and dogs.
My particular favorite was the dog/skunk/feral burro combo. Ah, what a wingding that was.
So. I went to considerable trouble to get some internet up in this mug, and now I am asking myself: “Why, why, why?”
For two months I enjoyed frolicking in meadows, eating Brussel’s sprout tacos morning noon and night, shoveling cow pies and 8-inch centipedes out of my garage, etc. Then today I finally check the blog’s moderation queue and it’s full of the same old mean, misogynist, racist, asinine crap as before. Apparently 7 or 8 more nascent teen unabombers have discovered just how hilarious it is to cut and paste the word “cunt” eight million times. Also, as before, I just don’t “get” BDSM; in case I’d never had explained to me the roguish feminist iconoclasm of the dominance-and-submission system of het sex, several readers thoughtfully provided graphic descriptions of how great it is, and of how stupid I am. One moron reminded me that if I didn’t publish his remarks he would spread it all around the internet that I censor readers and am a feminazi, which I guess would ruin my life forever.
Seriously? Blowing out to the middle of some inaccessible ranchette doesn’t actually eradicate world suffering, injustice, imbecility, and anti-Twistarianism?
I may turn this thing off again after all.