Nov 08 2008

Tower of power

The new radio tower at El Rancho Deluxe enables me to log back into the abuse. Yay internet.

Just so you won’t think I was blowing fumes through my snoot yesterday when I resurfaced to announce that I am back from hiatus, I am posting this here thing. This post will largely consist of nothing. It is mostly to reacquaint my claw-like hands with the rigors of typing, and my obstreperal lobe with the smell of the dominant culture’s putrid off-gassing.

Much has gone down in the life of the spinster aunt since last we spoke, but it was nothing I cared to interpret through the jaundiced lens of blame, which is why I didn’t feel too bad taking a blogular powder on yall. Mostly what have befallen me are events of a rural and therefore — because I had overestimated my boondocksian chops — a comical nature. Assorted hijinxes have involved, against a backdrop of prickly pears and Polled Hereford excrement: snakes, rogue cattle, sheriff’s deputies, a wild horse, two dudes from the ranch up the road who spoke such thick Texan I could not understand’em, feral burros, turkeys, deer, skunks, funnel-web spiders, jack rabbits, coyotes, scorpions and dogs.

My particular favorite was the dog/skunk/feral burro combo. Ah, what a wingding that was.

So. I went to considerable trouble to get some internet up in this mug, and now I am asking myself: “Why, why, why?”

For two months I enjoyed frolicking in meadows, eating Brussel’s sprout tacos morning noon and night, shoveling cow pies and 8-inch centipedes out of my garage, etc. Then today I finally check the blog’s moderation queue and it’s full of the same old mean, misogynist, racist, asinine crap as before. Apparently 7 or 8 more nascent teen unabombers have discovered just how hilarious it is to cut and paste the word “cunt” eight million times. Also, as before, I just don’t “get” BDSM; in case I’d never had explained to me the roguish feminist iconoclasm of the dominance-and-submission system of het sex, several readers thoughtfully provided graphic descriptions of how great it is, and of how stupid I am. One moron reminded me that if I didn’t publish his remarks he would spread it all around the internet that I censor readers and am a feminazi, which I guess would ruin my life forever.

Seriously? Blowing out to the middle of some inaccessible ranchette doesn’t actually eradicate world suffering, injustice, imbecility, and anti-Twistarianism?

I may turn this thing off again after all.


Skip to comment form

  1. Woman

    Yup. Felt that way after the hurricane and I got my power back. I was seriously thinking of becoming a Luddite.

    Kinda sounds like you have yourself a little slice of heaven. Can I go there when I die?

  2. Orange

    Usually I welcome your crisp photos of Texas critters, but I beg of you: Please, please do not ever post a photo of an 8-inch centipede or, in fact, anything in the centipede or millipede family. These are my kryptonite, and if I fear that I will come face to evil face with them here, I will be too frightened to fulfill any blaming responsibilities. Scorpions and spiders do not wig me out the way the hundred- and thousand-legged beasties do. *shudder*

    Feral burros and heavily accented Texans sound entertaining, though.

  3. Helen

    I want to know what the heavily accented burros said to the feral dudes from the ranch up the road, and was it about skunks?

  4. PhysioProf

    Brussel’s sprout tacos

    I love brussels sprouts, and I love tacos. But brussels sprout tacos? Yuckapoo!!!!!!!!!!!

  5. jess

    I felt that same way, when I found an account of mine had been bombarded by a Japanese dude with a fetish for white women. He apparently liked my blond hair and wanted to eat my flesh. So I took down all my videos and moved to another account. I had to explain to all my watchers and readers why and that felt like I was being re-victimized again having to explain it. The internet is full of examples of men trying in every way they can to silence and snuff out women’s presence. Or they turn them into jerk-off material thus de-powering them. I’m sorry you have to deal with this kind of thing. It was always very intellectual for me until I experienced it first hand. I have nothing but sympathy for any woman trying to have a presence on the internet. It just seems like men have everything. That I couldn’t even have this one small thing without it being tainted by some male’s aberrant behavior. Best wishes and love.

  6. Adam Myerson

    Please don’t! The anonymous aunt-less among us would suffer greatly to lose you again.

  7. smushmeg

    I swear to god, I thought you said “feral burritos” until, for some reason, I got my literacy back reading Helen’s comment.

  8. Jon

    No please don’t go away. I’ve never posted anything here before. I would readily agree to never post here again if you would agree to keep up this blog. Thank you.

  9. Pinko Punko

    This is not my beautiful house (?)

    [Same as it ever was]

    Love you, TF, whether you share with us or not.

    Ohg crap. I’m drunk.

  10. Tabatha Atwood

    I also check your site daily even the months without posting.

    I would love to hear the critter stories ( maybe they will chase the bad men away.)

  11. Squiggy

    Oh Blessed Twisty! Can’t you just delete all moderation stuff unread? Sure, you’d miss out on some valid comments but in this case I think it might be wise to throw the baby out with the defiled bath water (that’s mixed with the pure bath water of non-asswipe comments). Otherwise the bad guys win. And we lose.

  12. mir

    And lo, the brave Captain Faster returned and the multitudes rejoiced!

    Welcome back, Twisty, oh how we missed ye. And never you mind the cretins, their dipshittery is impotenet against the crowing of us totally relieved blametariat (I’d wager a lot of us thought you’d thrown us over for the glorious Range of Free for good). You’ll see.

  13. sierranevada

    Sorry to hear the knaves have got you feeling unblogular. As a sadly displaced Central Texan, and an awakening patriarchy perceiver, I have come to depend on your blog for quite a bit. I prefer to go back to lurking, but I thought I’d get a vote in on the side of all that is right with patriarchy blaming.

  14. Catherine Martell

    Anyone writing anywhere is constantly faced with negative feedback that far outweighs the positive. People are much more likely to respond when they’re angry. On the internet, multiply that by a bajillion. To look into any moderation queue on any political blog is to stare into an abyss of violent, pathological hatred.

    IBTP is challenging stuff. Ain’t no surprise that some people get challenged. But there’s a whole huge backlog of positivity coming off this site that you probably never hear about. Hell, I used to be all “Oh, whatever, I guess if people want to look at porn then it’s a free country” before I discovered Twisty. You made me think, and rethink, and question, and change. I campaign against porn now. I challenge people who use it. I hide porn mags in the gay section of my local newsagent. And I use your writing all the time to send to other proto-feminist women struggling with the same feelings of confusion as I had.

    This website is brilliant, and its fans are legion. The trolls fear its power, and that’s why they start jumping up and down throwing their shit around. But they haven’t stopped us yet. Every week, there are more and more of us writing blogs, getting together, forming messageboards, and creating real-life alliances as a direct result of this blog.

    In any battle, it’s in the moment when you can see the opposition panic that you know you’re winning.

    Now, let us fantasize about dressing 8-inch centipede operatives in tiny stiletto shoes and sports-corsets, and sprinkling them liberally down the enemy’s pants.

  15. FatWhiteMaleEngineerHumanist

    Don’t let a posse of brainless assholes ruin your day! Seriously, these Tools of the Patriarchy pasted a vulgar word over and over then sent it to you? That’s just pathetic; at this very moment they’re probably all giggly, saying: “pee-pee!” or “poop!” out loud, but in a safe place where Mommy can’t hear.

    People are proselytizing you for BDSM? Wow. You lead an interesting life! You could always respond with the old Miss Manners bon mot: “No, thank you, I’ve already had some.”

    It sounds like your two month hiatus may have allowed your internet callouses to heal, leaving the famous lobe defenseless against the onslaught of buttheads. Be strong! As Hank Cinq advised:
    Stiffen the sinews, summon up the blood,
    Disguise fair nature with hard-favour’d rage;

    Blame hard, blame often!

  16. FatWhiteMaleEngineerHumanist

    Terribly sorry; the posting engine ate the leading spaces I put in to show a block indent for the quotation in my posting above. For complete, OCDP-driven clarity, the lines:

    “Stiffen the sinews, summon up the blood,”
    “Disguise fair nature with hard-favour’d rage;”

    were not written by me, but by William Shakespeare. I know, you’re stunned. You were probably thinking something like: “Shazam! He may be white male trash, but he sure can write!” Sadly, not true.


  17. Dawn Coyote

    What Catherine Martell said: all true.

  18. Kali

    You rock! Try not to let the patriarchal bastards get you down.

  19. jenny

    i totally get the why?s, but i really hope they don’t make you stop altogether. you will be sadly sadly missed if you do! cos some of us do depend on you, for both the insights and the twistacular humor. just knowing you’re there makes it all feel a bit better. i’m really happy you’re back!

  20. Boudicca

    I’ve missed you so much–eager to hear the stories of El Rancho.

    The other day at nursing clinicals one of my (much younger) classmates was discussing her upcoming wedding. I asked if she planned to keep her name. Ten heads swiveled around to stare at me.

    None of my group knew that a woman *could* keep her name or that a couple could join names or take a brand-new name. Seriously, in 2008 people don’t know this? I should have asked myself WWTD, but instead I just sort of spluttered, alas.

  21. Shaina

    I discovered a long time ago that if I was ever going to be a feminist, I would have to endure most of the world hating me on a daily basis. It just comes with the territory, and I’m sure that hosting such a popular blog like this makes you a prime target for all the misogynist idiots. Just know that none of it is personal at all, although that’s easier said than done.

  22. atheist woman

    Bad joke:

    Twisty returns only to regale us with tales of a giant phallic symbol.

  23. fairy

    I can’t wait for the day there is a block and bounce user feature on everything.

  24. Apostate

    Yay! That is all.

    Well, not all.

    Seriously have missed you. Don’t go away again.

  25. delagar

    Just want to add my plea: don’t leave! Don’t let the haters drive you away. You’ve done more than anyone to get my head right, and I’m raising my own little feminist out here in Arkansas. We need you!

  26. Mooska

    I’d like to third what Catherine Martell said.

    I’ve been reading this blog for less than a year and you’ve already fundamentally changed my worldview. It’s not just the radical, liberating way you’ve removed the scales from my eyes; it’s the clarity and humour with which you express those thoughts. Oh, and the humanity. [Oh, the humanity! *chortle*]

    I’ve always admired the way you walk the line between righteous hating and indiscriminate, angry hating. I desperately hope that those who don’t have a clue about this fine distinction and just want a target for their inarticulate rage don’t cause you to stop shining a light on the world for us. We need you. We think you’re wonderful. And, dammit, our opinions are worth more than those of random two-a-penny Internet arseholes, right!?

  27. Lar

    “The trolls fear its power, and that’s why they start jumping up and down throwing their shit around.”

    I totally agree with Catherine. It means that your message threatens their patriarchy and that scares them. Good! The internet is full of horrible, degrading things that trolls thrive on. I’m so grateful that there’s at least one place on the internet I know for sure I will never be bombarded with misogyny.

    As for the ranch – wow! It makes my year in the Mexican jungle sound like a scout camping trip. (Orange – if spiders and scorpions don’t wig you out yet, you should see the ones the size of a small car that found their way into my house! I’m traumatized.)

  28. Twisty

    Oh, heck, I’m not going anywhere yall. I seriously missed you guys. It’s just that I’d forgotten all the chump stuff.

    Maybe it’s time for a book club meeting. I’ll think this over and post on it tomorrow.

    I’m gonna go sommat ballistic on the gay marriage ban thing soon. It boggles the mind.

  29. slade

    Catherine Martell….I bet those little centipedes could carry many little pairs of scissors.

    What a sight! Gives me visions similar to what I saw on “Fantasia.”

  30. Tripleshack

    Am I dreaming? Obama — and now, Twisty, too!

    But Prop 8 passing? Damn.

    Can progressive thought “trickle down” to crack the patriarchy?


  31. That Girl

    I am so very glad you are back. You are the doritos in my bowl, the bee’s knees. It’s a better world with you in it.

  32. rootlesscosmo

    I’m gonna go sommat ballistic on the gay marriage ban thing soon. It boggles the mind.

    I more or less expected the vote on that (Prop 8) to track with the vote on the “parental notification” (a/k/a dead teenage women) measure (Prop 4), but while 8 passed, 4 failed. I don’t have an explanation; my first guess is that the organized godbags (in particular a whole army of Mormons from out of state) made a decision to put more resources into 8 than 4. But I don’t have any evidence to back this up, or any idea why they would choose that set of priorities. No on 8 had enough money for a lot of TV, and endorsements from Barack Obama (who carried the state by a comfortable margin) and Dianne Feinstein, who’s probably the most respected political figure in California, yet the bad guys prevailed. IBTP, naturally, but why did 4 lose?

  33. The Bittersweet Girl

    Oh, please don’t Twisty. Just when things are starting to look up out here in the world without feral burros. We need your biting wit to help us sort the steaming piles of shit from the other steaming piles of shit.

  34. Jodie

    YAY! I’ve missed you.

  35. sonia

    I want a manless ranchette.

  36. Pinko Punko

    root, was already had 4 a couple of years ago. Once it failed then, voters became used to it not being the rule. Also, abortion rights are more popular than gay rights. Sadly, this is the case in general. The interesting part would be in understanding where the split 4/8 vote was, just in terms of recognizing some societal dynamic, not to damn a particular group.

  37. Fhiona

    Yay! So glad you’re back. I have been lurking here for a couple of years now, and am addicted. I check every day for new posts, and have sorely missed you.

    Renee over at Womanist Musings has just had her first taste of an MRA infestation. She’s tried to do the whole “I don’t censor, everyone is welcome to post here, I like to hear opposing viewpoints” thing, but has come to realise just how vile these opposing viewpoints can be, and is now moderating. My personal favourite was “I bet you were wearing whorish clothes and got yourself raped, and are trying to blame the man and not who you know is reponsible – you”. Fabulous. There were plenty of others in a similar vein.

    It’s terrible how men and their women supporters feel they are entitled to silence women’s voices like this. I’m just grateful that you keep this space free of crap like that.

  38. Antoinette Niebieszczanski

    The Prop 8 thing is a bummer of major proportions. I’ve never been able to get a coherent answer to the question, “What does this take away from you?” from anyone who doesn’t think everyone’s entitled to the legal protection and misery of matrimony.

  39. speedbudget

    Guys, seriously. It’s so obvious. If two men or two women get married, that means that by the working of a magickal sky fairy, three heterosexual marriages go kablooey. It’s just logic. Why, just the other day, a gay couple moved in next door, and two marriages down the street immediately ended in divorce. They hadn’t even finished getting their stuff out of the moving van!

  40. atheist woman

    “Also, abortion rights are more popular than gay rights”


  41. B. Dagger Lee

    The only time (in a long time) I’ve seen some media talking heads bags-of-shit look shit-scared was when they were accidentally talking about the comments at the network’s web site.

    It’s the comment box Smallness Effect; it pinches some people’s souls. Not that I believe in souls, except in the waxing poetic way.

    Does Stanley have his own bedroom?

    I’m so glad you’re connected again. Can you put a windmill on top of the radio tower? Probably not.

    Ditto what Catherine Martell said, and I’d like some of the Vicodin chatty love drug she might have been taking.

  42. tinfoil hattie

    Aaaah, Twisty. You’re back. Thank the lard.

  43. MissPrism

    Yay! Twisty’s back and blaming!
    I look forward to the gay marriage ban ballistication. My sympathies to Californian blamers.

  44. rootlesscosmo

    @speedbudget: I think you’re on to something. A gay lawyer of our acquainance suggested treated it like pollution credits: every time a straight couple divoces, a gay couple is allowed to marry.

    @Antoinette Niebiescanski: I think it’s that “psychic wage” concept Twisty commented on a while back. The payoff for belonging to a relatively privileged group includes the smug satisfaction that outsiders are… outside. (W.E.B. DuBois originated this idea in answer to the question “What do poor whites get from racism?” which is hard to answer in strictly materialist terms.) The thinking, if you can call it that, is that letting LGBT people marry will dilute or devalue the mariages of straight people. This would also help explain why the yes-on-8 voters were immune to logical argument: their objection wasn’t logical to begin with, so logical persuasion is sort of a category error.

  45. The Hedonistic Pleasureseeker

    So THIS explains my Twisty dream last night! She’s back! Yay!

  46. Mooska

    I’m sorry to go off-topic from Prop 8 (although I share your disappointment and outrage that a human-rights issue was allowed to go to a ‘popular’ and money-influenced vote), but I have to post this here or my head will explode.

    A bit of background: the site it comes from was set up as a response to the racist little-Englanders on the UK’s BBC website. Unfortunately, it proves yet again that while racism must be condemned (rightly) and parodied (because, y’know, white guys are hip to racism and its effects so it’s fine to use the n-word as long as it’s *ironic*), sexist hate-speech is A-OK by Dude Nation.

    In response to repeated ‘jokes’ about raping Sarah Palin, I posted, without comment, a few quotes from rape survivors. Someone calling themselves ‘Rebel’ responded thus:

    “I blame women meself – and (looks down top to confirm) I am one!

    Rapists are scum, thats a given.

    However, when you read that apparently 21 women felt “sexually assaulted” by John Leslie when the offences ranged from a bad chat up line to a quick arse grope, you wonder.

    Then you see the sort that Mike Tyson allegedly raped. 16 stone maniac tore her clothes off apparently, and yet her silk stockings were unladdered! Hmmm.

    Look girls, for every one of these stories you make up you are doing GENUINE rape victims a disservice.

    So there.

    End of….. rant!”

    Sorry to pass this on, blamers. But I’d quite like to scream, and I don’t want to make the idiots happy by flaming her.

  47. Kate Smith

    Oh thank Texas you’re back! True, the news is shitty, but it always is. Welcome back, Twisty!

  48. miss crabby pants

    Prop 8 was wrong at least 10 different ways – tyranny of the majority, separate but equal, singling out one group to define as needing different laws, legislating morality, big money buying constitutional change, religion marrying politics, government not minding its own business, retroactive legislation, dismantling necessary checks and balances in government, and basic human rights among them.

    But in thinking about this initiative I wondered: why on earth would a people striving for recognition and equality want to enter in to a marriage contract which is, after all,the fundamental unit of the patriarchy? It is within marriage that women (and children) are isolated and defined, controlled and manipulated. And so I also wondered: why on earth wouldn’t the powers that be want more people to willingly and joyfully submit themselves to this control? I’d think the patriarchy would be drooling all over itself to allow another group of people to be defined by marriage – by the gender role control and familial expectations, by the chattel factor and the submission to government. But it’s not, and I was having trouble parsing that.

    Then I realized that if someone like me (heterosexual, married, mother, white, blah, blah, blah) saw my gay married neighbors being married and perhaps not subscribing to the traditional roles and expectations of that institution, I might, you know, get ideas. Maybe I could be married and reject being a Wife and Mother. And if I did that, well, the institution of marriage would indeed be threatened, wouldn’t it? From this perspective gay marriage could be a real threat to “traditional marriage” and, by extension and the proverbial domino effect, to patriarchy itself.

    Which is, obviously, another reason why Prop. 8 needs to be overturned.

    Although I fear that the power of the patriarchy will be too strong and even if gay marriage becomes, as it should, simply marriage (unmodified), it will not be a subversive force but will be subsumed into another locus of control over who we are and how we are allowed to be in this world.

    Damned patriarchy. I see no way out.

  49. Dr. Steph

    Hooray! I missed this place. Glad you’re back. Don’t let teh ferral burros or patriarchay asshats get you down.

  50. A

    First, I am so glad you are back.

    Second, regarding Prop 8. The high AA turn out for Obama pretty much doomed gay marriage in California. If you look at the vote by race you’ll see it was very close except for the AA vote.

    Vote by Race Total Yes No
    White (63%) 49% 51%
    African-American (10%)70% 30%
    Latino (18%) 53% 47%
    Asian (6%) 49% 51%
    Other (3%) 51% 49%

    These numbers are from CNN. I’d like to also note that here in California we voted to protect animals, Prop 2, but voted away the rights of our fellow citizens, Prop 8. Nice country we live in!

  51. MissPrism

    Mooska, that’ll be IYLISMWDYGLT, right? It’s fucking infested with’em. I’ve given up on it recently.

  52. TP

    First, I’m joining the Catherine Martell chorus. Twisty knows how much she has changed my life right here in this forum. And the commentariat, in all their various ways, have aided immensely, especially on driving home the emotional side of suffering oppression, which any man needs to hear over and over again before it even makes a dent in the armor of his insufferably smug privilege.

    Then, there’s this Proposition Hate thing. Here’s my thoughts:

    A man chases women until he finds one who allows him to fuck her, impregnate her, and thereby own her life. This is the essential meaning of marriage, if you strip away all the details about God and legalities and shades of moral do’s and don’ts. The chasing of women, the relentless pursuit, is what reveals marriage as the brutish and domineering thing it really is.

    The fear of gay marriage must be closely related to the fear of dominant gays. Men, or dominant sex partners, no matter what sex, will be allowed to chase women, or whichever sex they target, that they see as submissive or open to being seduced. The idea of sex itself is drenched in coercion and male supremacy, and marriage is the codification of the essential underlying meaning of sex being about pursuing and winning. Putting this power into the hands of gays means allowing them the same privilege to openly pursue those who haven’t chosen to be gay but who can be had by the same mixture of cunning and force that men use on women.

    It has taken me a really long time to even come this close to understanding the fear and outrage straight people feel about gay marriage, since I have a nature that has never really been comfortable with my given role as a predator. Once you see that the echos of rape resound throughout the entire construction of arousal and sexuality in a patriarchy, you stop being befuddled by the moral window dressing that they all use to disguise their unexplored fears and desires.

    So the sum of my understanding of the fear of gay sex and marriage is this: If we let those gays openly marry each other, they can openly pursue anyone they want, and that means that gay people will start raping, owning and marrying straight people. The idea that anyone can rape and enslave someone is a subtle threat to male privilege. Only teh menz can do that!

    I can’t help but feel awe about the unbelievably fine and delicate sensitivity of male privilege to the slightest threat from any side. For something that most people would swear does not exist, it certainly has a robust self-preservation instinct, even in the face of total emotional chaos, which is how I used to characterize the fear of gay marriage.

  53. Sylvanite

    All stories involving skunks are comedy gold. Throw in a feral burro, and you’ve hit the Mother Lode!

    Mooska, I didn’t like Palin at all, but am disturbed to hear she was the subject of rape fantasy talk. I guess I still have the capacity to be unpleasantly surprised.

  54. Eibhear

    Could you ever tell me where this was originally posted? I know rape is effectively legal in the U.K., but this is getting ridiculous.
    P.S. Failte thar nash, a Twisty (welcome back, Twisty)!

  55. Tomecat

    Welcome back Twisty! The new place looks fabulous, and I hope you and Stanley will be ultra happy there.

    I just felt the need to say thank you for this rare safe haven from the misogyny and ugliness that runs rampant everywhere else. I certainly don’t envy you the time and energy it must take to weed through the comments held up in moderation, but I hope you know how much those of us who come to this site appreciate it. You somehow manage to expose the worst of what the patriarchy dumps on us, while simultaneously speaking out against it, offering us ways to fight it, inspiring us, and brightening even the darkest of my days with your humor, intelligence and optimism. You’re the Queen of Multitasking :). This is one place I never need to use killfile to prevent my head from exploding while reading comments.

    In case you haven’t figured it out—you were missed! Hope you keep this place up and running for a long, long time.

  56. Helen

    Oh welcome back Twisty! But… Brussel sprout tacos…?!!!!

    How’s Stanley?

  57. Mooska

    “I just felt the need to say thank you for this rare safe haven from the misogyny and ugliness that runs rampant everywhere else.”

    Oh, nicely put, Tomecat! That’s exactly how I’m feeling after today. Sadly, ‘teh’ internet is so overrun by arseholes that we do, literally need a haven where they can’t dump their fear and loathing on us. In TWOTHOUSANDANDFUCKINGEIGHT.

    MissPrism – got it in one. And I think I’m going the same way.

    Eibhear – as MissP said, it’s ifyoulikeitsomuchwhydontyougolivethere.com, an initially hilarious blog set up to lampoon the chuntering armchair racists that infest the BBC’s Have Your Say website, but which has quickly gone the same way as Animal Farm and is now for misogynist wankmonkeys what Have Your Say is for knuckle-dragging racists. The posts aren’t THAT bad, in comparison, it’s the comments that are staggering considering this is meant to be a liberal blog.

    Sylvanite – the rape fantasy talk is all about putting the bitch in her place. But, you see, we Brits are sooo *ironic*, that if you don’t get it you’re not just a boring wimmin-type feminazi spoiling their God-give right to be offensive, but a bit of a dullard too. The idea that we chicks wouldn’t mind sharing the space to have a pop at eejits without having to read rape jokes that are posted for our sole benefit doesn’t get a second’s consideration.

    IBTP, but also teh individual menz involved AND their shrivelled, flaccid penises.

  58. Lunch Admin

    Please don’t go.

  59. Twisty

    Lunch Admin. That’s a pretty great screen name.

  60. Ron Sullivan

    Now, let us fantasize about dressing 8-inch centipede operatives in tiny stiletto shoes and sports-corsets, and sprinkling them liberally down the enemy’s pants.

    Christ all Friday, Catherine! There goes the rest of my day, and I’m supposed to be getting actual work done. Every time I try to string three words together, my brain goes haring off after that image again.

    Also: tippetytippettytippettytippytpiittippettytippytippetytap.

  61. Eibhear

    Och, Ron, I’m going to be skittin’ laughing over the, “tippetytippety”, bit all night!

  62. B. Dagger Lee

    You’d want to give the centipedes hundreds of little pairs of scissors so they’d go:

    tippitty snippitty tippity snippity tippitty snip.

  63. Shae

    I don’t care what those other commenters say, Twisty, I’d like the Brussels Sprout taco recipe, please.

  64. Jonathan

    I bet there’s some crossover between the nascent teen unabomber crowd and white supremacists. Maybe we’ll get lucky and President Obama will send the FBI out to bag himself some Klansmen, and with that your moderation queue will shorten.

    I hate that we’re stuck being logged into the mysogoweb, but I’m really glad that a bunch of Patriarchal dingbats will get squished by your obstreperal lobe while we’re here.

    I’m really happy you’re writing again!

  65. blondie

    Do feral burros bite?

  66. piratequeen

    @A: nonsense. Even though I normally wouldn’t touch Daily Kos with a 40-foot radio tower, this is a nice piece of work: h ttp://www.dailykos.com/storyonly/2008/11/7/34645/1235/704/656272

  67. Vinaigrette Girl

    At the risk of going all Handy Home Hintz, I have successfully washed skunky dogs – even a fool of a Samoyed pup – with several quarts of cheapo tomato juice and it does the business.

    Although it did turn the Samoyed the most amazing light pinky-orange for a few days, a sort of walking sunrise-breaking-through-a-cloudy dawn kind of colour…

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