Who am I to thwart the public’s inexhaustible fascination for photographs of my radio tower?
As I merge my bony old biomass with the Arcadian rhythms of the Texas Hill Country, two truths emerge.
One: one of my slippers will contain a scorpion in the morning.
Two: radio tower or no radio tower, one’s rural high-speed internet connection is an evanescent figment. It vanishes into a fugitive fog, it shivers away from a puffy cloud, it drifts off with wayward microwaves from the neighbors’ tower, it stays out all night partying, it returns at dawn with an armful of flowers, chocolate croissants, and a print edition of the New York Times.
So my Software Updater won’t update my software, my email won’t mail my e’s, and my Vonage phone won’t von. Poor podcastless me.
Meanwhile, during a brief moment of connectivity, I note a trend toward blaming “minorities” for the wild success of recent gay marriage bans. I would suggest (again) that those most concerned with penis placement are godbags first and “minorities” second. My suspicions about the structure of Hetero-American culture are threefold.
Fold number one: Godbags — and their non-proselytizing but higher-power-believin’ brethren, the godbag-lites — regardless of race, creed, or color, are the majority in the US.* Fold number two: even if they weren’t the majority, godbags like to vote more than truthbags. Fold number three: Heterosexual honkys, as a general category, hate homos as much as the next guy.
You know, the megatheocorporatocracy of today, through millennia of evolution, is an intricate but brainless mega-organism that exists only to replicate its reactionary self ad infinitum.
*See this June 2008 article in the Washington Post, which reports on a poll finding that 80% of Americans think angels flit around on sunbeams curing cancer and reward the faithful with “resources.”
“For many Americans, God is a vivid presence. About one-third of the people surveyed said they receive answers to their prayer requests at least once a month and say they have experienced or witnessed a divine healing of an illness or injury.”