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Jan 28 2009

Great news!

To accommodate those blamers who just don’t like to read all that much, I’m changing the format of I Blame the Patriarchy. From now on it’s gonna be one of those blogs that just posts YouTube videos!

If you’re going to watch the video below, I’d advise doing so before you eat your organic aerosol waffle. If you’re not going to watch it, I will summarize for you:

Bush 1 tells tasteless and unoriginal feminists-are-ugly joke that brings down the house. Clinton (Bill), following the old coot at the podium, can’t contain his hilarity, and gets laughs lamenting that he could never get away with such a fucking great joke. Then he tells a joke comparing break dancers to dogs in need of worming, which — even though it doesn’t contain anything so inherently hilarious as ugly feminists — if you ask me, he doesn’t really get away with either.

Those two guys — like all white guy elites — are just like peas and carrots, peas and carrots. Clinton (Bill) has always been a loathsome pig of the first water. One of the irksome little things that used to niggle my lobe during W’s reign of terror was the constant liberal refrain “I miss Bill!”

Ann Richards is the only politician I could ever stand.

[Via Feministe and lonely island dweller Anushka]

41 comments

  1. Angiportus

    Now those of us who can only afford dial-up are going to miss you.

  2. VibratingLiz

    “Stay out of my womb“? Huhn. Why do I suspect he just couldn’t bring himself to actually say “uterus”?

  3. Twisty

    “Now those of us who can only afford dial-up are going to miss you.”

    O Angiportus, I kid, I kid!

  4. B. Dagger Lee

    This probably illustrates why Jimmy Carter was standing so far away from the other dudes in the let’s-get-the-dude-presidents-together photo from a couple of weeks ago.

  5. B. Dagger Lee

    Hey girl, what about Barbara Jordan?

  6. eb

    GHWB – demonstrating every day that he was born with a silver foot in his mouth.

    Bill is a weasel of the first order but given the ‘Who would make a better checkout dude at the grocery store’ test, I’d stand in Bill’s line every time.

  7. yttik

    I liked Shirley Chisholm. I liked Stephanie Tubbs Jones. Cynthia McKinney must have challenged the system good because they ran her out. I’m kind of fond of Patty Murray. I’ve been keeping an eye on Jared Polis because he’s been riding the administration about including women in the economic recovery package. He’s been using Abigail Adam’s line, “In the new code of laws I suppose it will be necessary for you to make, I desire you would remember the ladies and be more generous and favorable to them then your ancestors.” He keeps pointing out that women are half the labor force and federal contracts still only require 6.9 percent female representation.

  8. Virginia S. Wood, Psy.D.

    Actually, Cynthia was embarrassing and ineffectual.

    And Jimmy lost me when he said, in reference to his stance against abortion, that “life is not fair.” Meaning, of course, that rape is not fair, incest is not fair, birth-control method failures aren’t fair, and women and girls with unplanned pregnancies just need to suck it up and quit whining.

    Politicians to like? President Obama. Ann Richards and Shirley Chisholm, ditto. Jack and Bobby Kennedy.

    Gee. I’m still thinking. Five names over nearly 50 years–you’re right. Good politicians are hard to come by.

    I’m not watching the video. I’d already eaten lunch before I read your entry. I’m afraid it will make me hurl, and I don’t have time for that today. I’ve got work to do.

  9. norbizness

    He had a bad experience growing up with Susan B. Anthony.

  10. PhysioProf

    I would like to share just how much it chaps my ass that a pathetic fake-ass “news” show that is nothing more than a corporate/government shill operation calls itself “The Situation Room”.

  11. Tyrone

    Much as I’ve loved your videos before, I really enjoy Twisty’s writing style. I’ll be very sorry to see it go.

  12. Tyrone

    Oh wait, it was a joke? *feels stupid*

  13. Rachel S.

    Aren’t the YouTubes just a device of the patriarchy made to reduce the content of feminist bloggers?

  14. JGH

    All I have to say is, God bless Ann Richards. I still can’t believe she got elected to be the governor of Texas.

  15. wisewebwoman

    And (I just can’t stop myself) this thought follows:

    And well, George senior, we’re all still reeling from the sorry day it was when you stuck a peen in Baba’s ‘womb’.

  16. Citizen Jane

    I am sometimes amazed by the irony in people using “angry feminist” as an insult. You are trying to tell me that it is unreasonable for me to be a feminist, at the same time as berating me for having the gall to be a female who feels anger? Bush just takes it a step further and berates a feminist who is SO AUDACIOUS that she fails to conform to his standards of fuckability.

    Is he in the least bit cognizant of the irony in his joke?

  17. Stella

    Haw, haw, George! That was funny!

    Almost – but not quite – as funny as that time you said atheists aren’t Americans. Oh, boy, now THAT was a good one.

    Haw, haw, haw!

  18. thebewilderness

    I adorable Ann Richards. She taught us what “That dog don’t hunt” meant, and saved Texas from Clayton Williams. Candidate Williams position on rape was that, like the weather it is inevitable, so women should relax and enjoy it.

    Just about the time I start to think that old white honkey authoritarians are all alike, they come along and reinforce my worst suspicions.

  19. D

    GHWB is a pig. Plain and simple, just a pig.

  20. alphabitch

    I liked Paul and Sheila Wellstone an awful lot, I gotta say.

  21. Hedgepig

    “I am sometimes amazed by the irony in people using “angry feminist” as an insult…Bush just takes it a step further and berates a feminist who is SO AUDACIOUS that she fails to conform to his standards of fuckability.”

    What men, and unfortunately many (most?) women don’t understand is that some women have worked out that it isn’t in any way a compliment to be considered fuckable. They don’t get that a woman may experience relief at the thought that men might not consider her orifices to be inviting semen receptacles. It’s as if a toilet has suddenly found the power of speech and said “I don’t care if you’d prefer to use the one in the cubicle next door because it’s shinier/newer/whatever.” But, girls/toilets you have to care whether you make an inviting receptacle: that’s what you’re FOR!

  22. tinfoil hattie

    She was really, really ugly, too. Don’t forget that. I mean, she was “really bad.”

    Har de har har

  23. dawn coyote

    “How good-looking is my wife?”

    Ahem.

  24. Zora

    Anybody mind posting the joke for those of us with no sound card?

    Now I am wondering, do I really want to hear it?

  25. thebewilderness

    Probably not Zora. It wasn’t really a joke. Just something men like to laugh about.
    Bush 41 is sneaking out the back trying to avoid protesters. The ones who think women are human. Suddenly he is confronted with “one of the ugliest and angriest women I have seen in my entire life. Boy, she was really bad.” He goes on to say that she charged his limo with a sign that said ‘stay out of my womb’.
    The punch line is “No problem, lady.”

    See. Not a joke at all, really. Just an amusing anecdote about how dreadful it is to be confronted by an unfuckable women.

  26. Zora

    Ah, yes. Now all the comments make sanse.

  27. AdmirerofEmily

    Whilst I’m middling in years, I am young in verbalising patriarchy blaming (not having much opportunity for it in my neck of the woods) so I’ve got a lot to learn in argument presenting, but here goes.

    What I meant was that, when you said “I’m intelligent and attractive, so I meet a lot of men” it seemed to me that you were presenting it unproblematically.

    Like “Of course I meet lots of men – I’m smart and pretty (and that, of course, is fine, to be expected, men like smart, men like pretty. No problemo).” Which buys into the ‘you gotta look good girl’ stuff, that women are ornaments.

    And yes, I was referring to Bush 41 laughing about that ‘fugly feminist’ who got past the Secret Service to wave a ‘stay away from my womb’ placard at him. “What a joke! Man was that woman ugly! How’d the Secret Service let that one through? (Now, if she’d been pretty mind….)”

  28. Lara

    No, see, Bill and Bushie are like peas because they’re like peas in a pod: they’re both a bunch of sexist assholes who enjoy using cliched jokes to get a laugh out of an equally dumb audience.
    Good to be back in the blogosphere. I miss your blog, Twisty.

  29. Veganrampage

    So many little items to notice, so many that make you want to hurl. Wolf Blitzer introducing this as the “lighter side.” The crowd bursting into hysterics at the mention of “ugly woman”, way before King George I begins his “joke”. Then fuckface Bill finishing up with a bit of racism to top off the misogyny. A full course of puke inducing patriarchy indeed. Gack.

  30. Shelby

    How unfortunate. I feel sick.

  31. speedbudget

    At the risk of breaking the hearts of your dial up fans…..

    When will we get another awesome video from you? I’d rather that than a couple of whithered, nasty old men commenting on the physical attributes of women.

  32. Antoinette Niebieszczanski

    I didn’t miss Bill (who really *was* a buttsniffing horndog of the first water, and a conservative Democrat to boot) so much as I missed what my checkbook and my IRA looked like when he was in office.

    Sorry for the selfishness of that statement, but I bet I’m not the only one.

  33. Beth

    Buttsniffing horndog though he most certainly was, Bill didn’t leave our country quite the smoking ruin that W has. I think those who miss him do because we entertain no fantasies of elected officials *not* abusing their power with star-struck interns and their sparkly dresses. If we can escape their reigns without war, plague, and economic catastrophe, we feel mightily relieved.

    A descriptive rather than normative argument.

    I slap my forehead.

  34. DeeMom

    I think George and Bill BOTH need to be wormed…just for fun.

  35. slythwolf

    Politicians to like? President Obama.

    Seriously? While he calls women “sweetie” and says us pro-women’s-ownership-of-own-goddamn-uterus activists just don’t understand the “moral issue” of abortion?

  36. Twisty

    “And well, George senior, we’re all still reeling from the sorry day it was when you stuck a peen in Baba’s ‘womb’.”

    Blurgurt! Bwa! Urg!

  37. tinfoil hattie

    He goes on to say that she charged his limo with a sign that said ’stay out of my womb’.

    The punch line is “No problem, lady.”

    Who the hell sticks his penis so far up a woman’s vagina that it passes through the cervix and up into the uterus, anyway? Either George is stupid, or he’s an idiot. Does he even know what he’s saying? Good dog, that makes me cringe just thinking about it.

  38. Amananta

    “Who the hell sticks his penis so far up a woman’s vagina that it passes through the cervix and up into the uterus, anyway?”

    I decline to say from where I have discovered this bit of intelligence, but apparently a large contingent of the male population has such a vague grasp of women’s anatomy that they think any sufficiently well-endowed man does this all the time, and that furthermore, women love it.

  39. Jezebella

    Yep, I’ve heard this piece of dudely misinformation – and seen it in print, no less – my own self.

    Ouch.

  40. Kuleana

    Who the hell sticks his penis so far up a woman’s vagina that it passes through the cervix and up into the uterus, anyway?

    No shit….Actually, his punchline makes me think, “Well duh, George, barring some type of bizarre sci-fi intervention, odds are she’s never going to be pregnant with you, you dumbfuck.” And people say women are the ones who suck at science….

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