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Mar 02 2009

Hugs, Twisty: “WTF?”

Today’s installment of Hugs, Twisty is yet another post on internecine blogular admin stuff, wherein I attempt (but fail) to explain a new and terrifying phenomenon tearing a swathe of despair through the Blametarian community.

If you never comment on the blog, and therefore the shits you give about this stuff are minimal, here’s a nice taco, because certainly you do care what I had for lunch.

tacocabana.jpg

Bean and cheese taco at Taco Cabana: gross, but in a good way

Hi Twisty,

In the last week or so, whenever I try to access IBTP from my home network, I get an “access denied” message. There was a brief missive early on saying something about me having been banned, but it flicked off the screen too fast for me to take in the details.

I’ve been commenting on the blog for something like a month under the moniker TheLady, with an impressive total output of 4 or 5 comments of no obviously trollish bent. If in that brief time I’ve managed to piss you off to such an extent that you really have banned me, well, I’ll be secretly impressed frankly, but also rather heart-sore. I do find a daily dose of Blaming to be a healthy and necessary addition to my ideological diet.

Normally I’d take my banning and fuck off to have a good long sulk about it someplace else, but you did say a few times recently that issues have been observed with blog maintenance and moderation, so I thought I’d let you know in case your shunning of me was inadvertent.

Thanks,
TheLady

Dear TheLady,

Allow me to congratulate you on having composed an email that I didn’t have to edit. I am also impressed that you are on an “ideological diet.” It takes an iron stomach.

Anyway, I hate to ruin what was potentially a deeply satisfying sulk, but you have not been banned. The message you received was an error.

Yours, TheLady, is only the most recent in a slew of emails describing this same mystifying “access denied” scenario. Emails complaining of moderation issues began arriving in numbers higher than usual right around the time Mungo, my previous computer, began singing “Daisy, Daisy” and had to be terminated. But the onset of the “access denied” dealio coincides more precisely with a tragedy I suffered a couple of weeks ago when I entirely encrumulated the whole blog while trying to update the template. I’d thought the crappitations resulting from that little episode of auntly ineptitude were mostly resolved, but, given my extremely non-existent apprehension of PHP, it’s beginning to look like something untoward slipped past me.

Here is my confession: I have no idea what the heck is going on. Maybe a hack, maybe a software glitch. I can only imagine how aggravating it must be to deal with so incompetent an Internet feminist as myself.

But rest assured, I Blame the Patriarchy does not, at least not to my knowledge, contain any page with a “you have been banned” message. If it does, I will find it and get rid of it, because if you really had been banned, the last thing I would do is bother to mention it.

If any WordPress-savvy blamers are able to get past this renegade “access denied” message and can offer any suggestions, I’m all ears. Or eyes, I guess.

Hugs,
Twisty

24 comments

  1. Lovepug

    That taco photo looks like a Georgia O’Keefe painting.

    Sorry, I don’t have any expertise to lend you on this matter. I just came here for the tacos which are an important element of a blamer’s ideological diet.

    And after what I’ve read in the news this week (numbers of women being lit on fire on the rise in India, Mexican drug cartels and their rape trees, Seattle police beating the shit out of 15 year old girls), I needed a taco somethin’ fierce.

  2. Suzz

    Twisty, Twisty, Twisty.

    Maybe I missed something in the past few months, but weren’t you going vegan? Unless your taco place has access to dairy-free non-cow-raping cheese, I am probably confused!

    Part of me wants to say, “I’m not calling you out, or anything,” but another part of me knows thats about as true as the phrase “we don’t need feminism anymore, women have come so far.” You are still the awesome spinster aunt of patriarchy blaming, bringin’ it to the peeps with an enormous sense of awareness, but goshdagnabbit, Twisty, you are an example – a role model, if you will (like Michael Phelps) – and if we are to obliterate the patriarchy, all animal foods are going to have to go with it.

  3. Suzz

    That being said, I do heartily endorse an adjustment period of vegetarianism between standard omnivorism and herbivorism, as it seems to allow individuals the necessary time to come to a full (ideological and logistical) understanding of their decision. And if you want some support from a legion of vegan foodies to satisfy your more sensory side, just say the word. I can guarantee that there are several lurking.

  4. Tam

    Banning, schmanning. Is it a bad sign that I moved away from Texas 9 years ago and still recognized (and hungered for) the Taco Cabana taco even before I saw the labeled cup?

  5. Orange

    The other day, I heard about a topless coffee joint somewhere, not the one in Seattle. They have a guy who wears shorts and cowboy boots, nothing else.

  6. Twisty

    Suzz,

    While I endorse the vegan ideological diet, I decline absolutely to be a role model of any kind.

  7. Twisty

    Orange: “The other day, I heard about a topless coffee joint somewhere, not the one in Seattle. They have a guy who wears shorts and cowboy boots, nothing else.”

    I am impressed by the utter non-sequituritude of this remark.

  8. Alderson Warm-Fork

    “I have no idea what the heck is going on. Maybe a hack, maybe a software glitch.”

    Or the enforcers of global accords governing fair use of women are trying to shut you down – i.e., I blame the…

  9. TheLady

    Phew, well that’s a relief. Thanks, Twisty!

    Re: Diet, lemme tell ya – it takes one hell of an iron stomach to survive a whole week on nothing but de Beauvoir. It’s been a struggle, sometimes. *sniffle*

  10. Pinko Punko

    TF-

    I wonder if those thinking they are banned is because of a broken redirect? Perhaps they are accessing IBTP from an older URL wherein they are normally redirected to the newish one, but perhaps are now not? I don’t understand how mucking with the template would accomplish such a thing because redirects are usually on the host side of things.

  11. Stella

    That cheese made me cry.

  12. rootlesscosmo

    “Began singing ‘Daisy, Daisy’” is a phrase that deserves wide application beyond the world of servers; there may be youngsters who don’t get the reference, but that just gives us a chance to urge them to see 2001. Thanks, Twisty.

  13. Jezebella

    Jesus fucking christ on a tortilla, I miss Taco Cabana.

  14. Twisty

    Pinko Punko: “I wonder if those thinking they are banned is because of a broken redirect? ”

    How the heck could I find this out? Because, you know, when I redid the template I forgot to put my visitor tracking code back in, and now I have no record of where the blamers have been coming from for the past 2 weeks.

    Wait, that makes no sense anyway, because if the redirect is broken, the tracking meter wouldn’t log them anyway.

    Dammit, Jim, I’m a spinster, not a computer forensics expert!

  15. Comrade PhysioProf

    I don’t know jack diddly shit about PHP or whatthefuckever, but I do know a fucking delicious taco when I see one!

    Hugs,
    Comrade PhysioProf

  16. phiogistic

    I wonder if folks are seeing the “bandwidth exceeded” page that bluehost sometimes throws up? If it blinked by, it could look like a “banned” notice. It is the price of popularity and the every-growing legion of blamers.

  17. ZoBabe

    I got the “IP address banned” message yesterday. After reconnecting to the internet, and thus renewing my IP address, I was able to commence blaming.

    I actually have a site where I have intentionally blocked all IP addresses from Indonesia, but I’m not sure how certain addresses can get inadvertently blocked.

    Sorry, not very helpful I suppose.

  18. Suzz

    Oh my. I guess boxing you into the idea of “role model” came out not like a joke, but it was supposed to be one. I thought the ridiculous reference to Michael Phelps would reinforce the attempt at humor. I will have to work on my hilarity clarity!

  19. LJ

    Oh, tacos… I miss me some Tex-Mex.

    I have been getting the IP-banned message on a few sites, randomly. One day I can see a site, the next day, no luck, an hour later, IBTP-joy. For anyone having this problem, try an IP-hiding website like this one: http://bypass24.com/index.php.

    I have no idea why sites decide to randomly block me, but this Bypass website has come in handy.

  20. Shelly

    That taco looks like nachos on the half shell.

    As for the banning weirdness, have you checked your htaccess file?

  21. speedbudget

    Oh, “Daisy, Daisy.” Always makes me think of the crazy aunt in _Home for the Holidays_. I love that lady. She farts in closed cars and doesn’t give a frack.

  22. LJ

    Ok, I’ll try this again. I posted earlier, but I guess my sage advice was eaten.

    I’m currently getting the blocked IP address message – I’m actually “blacklisted”. Such strong language, interwebs! Anyway, by using this handy-dandy website: http://bypass24.com/index.php, I can get on IBTP and other sites that decide to randomly blacklist me. It hides your IP address (I think).

    The blocking is truly bizarre. This morning I was able to get on without hiding myself, but this afternoon, access denied. Makes me want to go on a Taco C rampage… but there is no Tex-Mex in Togo.

  23. slythwolf

    Your taco looks delicious.

  24. Pinko Punko

    On your hosting control panel, if there are any related addresses or different formulations of your blog’s URL they can be set to redirect to the correct page. I am guessing this is not the problem, though. It IS useful if you have ever had different versions of your domain (blog.iblame…, iblame…/blog, etc.). I believe those were correct ellipses.

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